I'm Just a Tool

Patti actually treated me okay. She would on occasion introduce me to people, none of who knew quite what to make of me. Finally, she introduced me to her roommate, Jill.

"Jill is a psych major. She is going to be working with Sheila this summer, helping with her class and assisting with lab work. 'Loser' here may be working with Sheila as well."

"She's your Mom, right?" Jill asked.

I quickly dispelled her of that notion. Amazingly, we started to have a normal conversation. Amazing, because she was beautiful. Long black hair, blue eyes a great body. And she was talking to me!

Well of course that couldn't last. While we were talking some guy jumped in the pool cannonball style, dousing the two of us. She looked great with cute little drops of water beading on her shoulders, arms, and breasts. While I, with my thin white sheet soaked, looked naked. And then for the second time that night I was grabbed by my hands and feet and swung back and forth until I was hurled in the air landing on my belly in the pool. At this point, my pants were gone, so I just decided to skinny dip.

For a while this was kinda peaceful and I kept close to the wall to lessen the embarrassment.

Jill even got in and we continued our conversation. I hadn't figured out that the guys would ignore me as long as I wasn't monopolizing any of the girls. Lesson two was right around the corner.

"Hey Tommy." One guy yelled to another. "Remember your pool last summer? Your irritating brother?"

"I do, I do," said Tommy. Then he smiled. "Got some in the truck," he said and started to trot off.

"Now Rick, be nice," another girl called out. As she said it, she laughed a little bit. A few other girls came up to her and they began talking and looking over at me.

"You might want to go," Jill said.

"Go where?" I asked.

But it was too late. Rick reached in grabbed my hair and coaxed me out of the pool. I looked around for Patti, but she was nowhere to be seen. Jill told them to stop, but hers was the lone voice of dissent.

He walked me over to the diving board where Tommy was waiting, bobbing up and down at the end of the board. As I walked the plank, I was told to sit and then lie on my back. Tommy promptly stretched my arms above my head, produced a large roll of duct tape with which he bound my hands and then proceeded to wrap tape around the board pinning down my arms. When he was done, he tossed the tape to Rick who taped my legs to the board as well.

He then called over the girl who had told him to be nice. He tossed her the tape. Rick got off the board and she took his place. She knelt at my crotch and said, "sorry babe, but we can't have you too obscene just in case any kids happen by."

With that she took three pieces of duct tape and made a little asterisk that she lovingly patted into place.

Then just like that they all left, looking over their shoulders and laughing, leaving me alone staring up at the night sky.

As it started to rain, I said out loud, "it could be worse, it could be raining." Then I just started laughing. No doubt delirium was setting in!

And that was how Jill found me. Suddenly there she was bikini top and a pair of shorts with a towel around her neck.

"I figured I couldn't stop them," she said, but as soon as I heard what they were going to do, I ran back to the apartment to change and get these." With that she held up a pair of scissors.

She tossed the towel aside and gingerly knelt down astride my chest. With so little room, she had to clench both her legs to my chest and slide up until she could reach my arms and cut the tape. And go figure, simultaneously I was loosening the asterisk...

After she cut the tape from my legs, she grabbed the towel and wrapped me up as if I was the victim of a natural disaster. She then gave me a little kiss on the forehead and said, "c'mon, I'll drive you home."

We sat in front of my house and talked for an hour or three. As I got out of the car she said, "I hope we will be working together this summer."

"Me too," I said, and I meant it, forgetting for the moment what my work would be.

The next morning I told Sheila that I wanted the job. I was ready to get to work.

"That's great," Dad said.

"Nope, sorry," Sheila said, "you took so long to get back to me that I'm afraid I had to offer it to someone else."

"Too bad, champ," Dad said, "I guess you snooze you loose. You know, if you don't have a job, I guess you could spend the summer with your Mom in Paris." And with that he was out the door off to work.

24 hours ago, that would have been great news, but now it threw me into a panic. If I went to Paris, I'd probably never see Jill again!

"Oh come on," I yelled, "how could you have found someone between midnight and this morning!"

"Nick," she said. "Your buddy Nick came by last night and begged me to strip and humiliate him so he could be cool like you."

"Whaaaat?" I whispered.

"Oh you idiot, Nick didn't come by. He's probably still hiding under his bed even as we speak. I didn't offer the job to anyone else, but I certainly can't use you. For one thing, you are way to argumentative. I need to know that if I ask you to do something, you'll do it. I have a better chance of getting a complete stranger to do what I ask. And now we have a Jill problem. Yeah, I heard about your rescue and I saw you guys out front last night. You haven't even started and already you're ensuring that the data will be compromised. Jill has to be able to evaluate situations you are in dispassionately or perhaps even be a party to your humiliation. How can she do that now!?"

I sat there stunned. She was right.

"Have fun in Paris," she said, and walked down the hall to her bedroom.

I went back to my room and tried to think of a way to fix this. The first part would be easy. I was desperate to stay and if that meant jumping when Sheila said jump then I would, even if it meant jumping naked. But what about Jill? How did I fix that? Or did I need to unfix it? Even a Jill that was pissed at me was better than no Jill at all. Magic had happened last night. Surely we could find that again after I got her to hate me for now. I picked up the phone...

Thirty minutes later I'm knocking on Sheila's bedroom door. I can hear her typing away on her laptop. "Excuse me,'" I say, "I do not want to disturb you, but I was hoping to talk with you about the job again. I just wanted you to know that I'm on the other side of this door naked and on my knees, hoping that you'll give me another chance. I've spoken with Jill. I've explained to her that I can't socialize with her if I'm working for you this summer because the job means a lot more to me than any trivial summer fling. She wasn't happy, but I think she understood."

Silence.

Then the tap tapping of the keyboard started up again.

Thirty-five minutes later she called out, "are you still there?"

"Yes ma'am."

"Do me a favor," she said, "I left a book that I need in the trunk of my car, would you get it for me? My keys are on the dining room table."

"Of course," I said.

No doubt in my mind, this was a test. If I put clothes on first, it would be "Hello Paris."

Of course her car was not in the garage but rather in the driveway. It was a fairly quiet street, but still, I needed to be careful. I watched a couple of cars pass, took a deep breath and ran outside mashing my finger on the trunk release button. It popped open just as I got there.

Inside I saw about a dozen different books. I didn't even hesitate. I scooped them all up and trotted back inside as fast as I could.

I brought the books in after she gave me permission to enter. She grabbed the one she needed and said "oh my, did you go out there naked?"

"Here," she said, pulling a pair of red lace panties out of a drawer, "please put these on before you put the rest of these books back."

So back out I went and this time when I went to hit the trunk button, I missed and hit the panic button instead. Needless to say, I did not go unseen on this trip!

When I came back in, Sheila was laughing. "See," she said, "a natural. Now give me back my underwear."

As I peeled them off and handed them back to her, the doorbell rang. I froze, sure that someone had seen me and called the cops.

Sheila asked me to answer it. I started to and then just froze. What if it was the cops?

"If you're going to work for me," she said, "you have to accept that there will always be some element of risk, but it is calculated risk. For example, Patti called a short time ago and said that she was coming right over, so I feel that there is very little risk in asking you to open the door."

So I did, and it was Patti.

"Jesus, do you never wear clothes anymore?"

She strode past me and walked into the living room.

"Hello Patti," Sheila said. "What brings you here?"

"That idiot," she said, looking at me. "She's really upset you know. I couldn't take her heavy sighs and sniffling anymore so I thought I'd come over here and kick naked boy's ass! Then she turned towards Sheila. If the two of you cooked this up together."

"Patti," Sheila said, "you know I would never do that...to Jill. Here, come back to the bedroom with me, I want to show you something that I think will make you feel better."

While they were out of the room I just stood there. Jill was upset? So she had felt the connection as well. Was this good news?

When they came back into the room, Patti was calmer.

"Congratulations on getting the job," she said. I've just seen your job description and I feel a lot better. Sis says I might even get to assist sometime."

With that she gave me a gentle slap on the cheek and said "see you soon, sweetie."

As she headed for the door she called out "and put some damn clothes on, while you still can."

Later, after taking Patti's advice, I went out for a walk. I walked over to campus and stopped in front of the auditorium. I just stood there and thought about the play, the party, the pool and what lay ahead.

What had just happened? Had I really just done everything that I could to ensure that I would spend the better part of my summer being humiliated on a regular basis? Was one of my chief tormentors really going to be a girl I was crazy in love with, but who now quite possibly hated me?

Just then a car behind me honked. A girl in the passenger seat rolled down her window and yelled out "show us your ass, matey!"

"Sorry," I said, "but I'm not on the clock yet."

And then I headed back home, wondering what tomorrow, my first day of work would bring...