In the Silence

Mia dragged Trent over to the side of the road, smiling and looking out and over the city. With him by her side, she could actually see it. Tall and silver buildings, shining in the midday sun.

"You okay, Mi?"

She leaned her head onto his shoulder, and squeezed his hand.

Trent looked at her and back, "Huh. I guess it is pretty, isn't it? I never really stop and look. But you were the architecture student. Remember when you used to tell me about every building we walked into together. Thought it was annoying at the time, miss it now."

She gave a small nod, and squeezed his hand again.

"If we miss it, we'll have to wait an hour for the next."

She shrugged, just feeling happy with the freedom. She smiled and leaned into him some more, enjoying the sun on her face and wind in her hair.

Mia screwed up her face and concentrated, trying to force herself to tell him that she liked it.

Her throat immediately locked down.

She tried to practice the relaxation techniques her speech therapist had taught her, and got nowhere. It was still pretty much strangling her, cutting off her air supply.

"Mi?" Trent asked in concern, "Panic attack?"

She bit her lip, trying not to cry, breathing hard through her nose. She squeezed her eyes shut, stomped her foot, and then a tiny grunt emerged from her mouth.

Fuck. That was it?

Mia rolled her eyes, as tears began creeping down her cheeks. She jerked his hand and started trying to walk.

Trent dragged her into a cuddle, tighter than he usually did. She felt her chest shake, and she sobbed against him soundlessly. His hands ran through her hair, bringing her down, calming her down.

He was better than any damn breathing exercise.

"P-pret-ty."

Trent jerked back, staring at her as he held her shoulders, "Holy fuck! You did it, Mia!"

Her face split into a huge grin as she burst into tears again. That wasn't her. She'd given up trying to say it, but then it just sort of slipped out.

Because of him.

So, it wasn't just because he was sexy. He was her key, to unlocking a door that she'd thought was permanently sealed. She grinned and dragged him into a tight cuddle, never wanting to let him go.

Even if he had sounded condescending as fuck when she'd finally got the word out.

---

Trent was utterly flabbergasted by the girl crying in his arms.

He'd really thought that last night had been a one off thing. Maybe not even a thing. Maybe all Mia had needed, to find a way to break through her wall, was the confidence to know that she could?

At first, he had been certain that she was about to have a full meltdown and they'd have to retreat back to the house where she'd disappear into her bedroom and refuse to emerge from it. Taking food left at the door only when she was certain she wouldn't be seen.

Then... Then she'd managed to do it.

She had managed to say what she meant to say. It might only be a single word, but if she hadn't burst into tears then he might have. He had missed her voice, so much.

He held her tightly against his chest, his throat tight as he forced himself to stay strong. For her. Always, for her.

"You two okay?" A stranger, walking by, asked.

Mia's head ducked further into his arms, and she started shaking. Trent winced, "Yeah. They were happy tears. We're okay."

"Miss?" The stranger insisted, worried that he was trying to hurt her. It might seem considerate on the surface, but forcing Mia to talk to a stranger was...

The blonde turned her head, glaring out from his arms, and let out an angry growl.

The man took a half-step backwards, "Whoah! Hey! I was just worried that -"

"She can't speak." Trent interrupted, "It's complicated, but she's basically mute. She wasn't trying to be rude, she just can't speak to you."

"But... She made a sound." The man said in perplexity.

Trent rolled his jaw, "And I said it was complicated. She's fine. She clearly doesn't want your help. It is better if you go."

"Hey, I'm just trying to work out -"

Mia forced herself out of Trent's arms, grabbed the man by the shirt and snarled into his face, before shoving him backwards.

The stranger took the hint, this time.

Mia put a hand to her chest as he awkwardly walked away, letting out a very ragged breath. She looked at Trent painfully, and then held out her hand.

He took it gingerly, "You still want to go to the train?"

She hesitated, but nodded.

He considered it, and her usual stubbornness, "You sure? We can take a minute."

She nodded curtly and jerked his arm.

So much for giving her a minute to calm down. He walked with her, feeling her knuckles going white as she basically crushed his hand in her grip.

Her feet did seem to be hurting as they walked, slowing down the closer to the train station that they got. Taking a glance, Trent could see the back of her ankles were scraped up. He'd see if he couldn't buy some bandaids once they got there.

Trent was still reeling.

Years of silence, and now two words.

He hadn't realised it, how alone he had felt, until she'd said that last word. Mia had been with him, through all of this, but he had felt the wall between them, between her and the rest of the world.

He would have to watch himself, his selfish feelings. He wanted to hear her, again. Almost desperately. If he didn't keep himself in check, he'd push her and she'd end up locking up all over again.

"Do I ever tell you, that you're amazing?"

Mia snorted and shook her head.

Trent looked at her in surprise, "Really? Wow. So I guess I'm a piece of shit, then. Because you really are. Should have been telling you that, a lot. Not just, now, because something happened."

Mia smirked at him and nodded, agreeing with him.

"How do you put up with me?" He sighed.

She squeezed his hand tighter, and rolled her eyes at him. Probably forgiving him for being forgetful. He hoped.

They walked the rest of the way in silence, but the interruption of the day seemed to have blown over. Mia was back to ecstatic. Smiling around herself at everything.

She even paused every now and then to point soundlessly at some building or another. As if expecting Trent to see something other than just a piece of glass, steel, or concrete.

When they got to the station, they'd missed the train.

Neither of them much cared.

---

She'd fucking said it!

She had wanted to say a word, and so she had.

All it had taken was being held by Trent, apparently. He was her secret to being calm enough to be able to do what she wanted. It was difficult not to get overexcited by this, to try again.

But she knew that road would probably only lead to frustration.

Like when Trent had tried to defend her against that other overprotective guy, and she'd nearly punched the both of them. She could take care of herself.

Having to wait around an hour at the train station was no big deal.

Or... That's what she wanted to tell herself.

Thing was, it was fucking terrifying.

Even with so few people around, it was still a transport hub. The city loop came by every fifteen minutes. Even if not many people were getting on or off, she felt like panicking every time she heard it getting close.

Mia poked Trent, with their interlocked hand, and then pointed at the cafe.

"Want a drink?"

She nodded.

He frowned, "Do you want takeaway, or to sit inside?"

She shook her head quickly, despising the idea of sitting close to other people. People who would notice she wasn't speaking. Table and chairs where she would have to let go of his hand.

Trent shrugged, "Sure. I could go for a coffee. How are your ankles?"

She rolled her eyes at him. He'd insisted on getting her some bandaids as soon as they got to the place. She didn't even get to appreciate the Victorian-era roof before he was showing his irritating side.

Mia pulled him into line at the cafe.

The waitress greeted them both pretty soon after, "Hey, what can I get you?"

"Black coffee for me, and -"

The waitress turned away from him pointedly, "And for you, honey?"

She looked pleadingly at Trent. He smiled and squeezed her hand reassuringly, "She'd like a cappuccino."

"I asked her. Take your time, sweetie." The waitress tried to be nice. Tried and utterly failed.

Mia bit her lip nervously, and reached up, touching her throat lightly. She hated it. Being constantly fucking reminded that she was different. That she had a stupid brain that wouldn't speak when she wanted it to.

The waitress blinked and made some sign with her hands.

Mia shook her head and looked to Trent again. He sighed, having dealt with this more than a few times. Pretty much every time they went out. "She doesn't know much sign, I'm sorry. Especially Auslang, that's so different to what everyone else uses."

The waitress glared at him, "I think she'd do better if you stopped answering for her."

Mia slapped the woman.

She hadn't meant to do it... But her anger sort of just... Boiled over. Who the fuck was this woman to tell her what she could and couldn't do? What the fuck would she know?

The waitress held her cheek in shock, and the manager stormed over. "What's going on here?"

"My... My fault." The waitress said slowly, "I... Uh... I misunderstood something."

Mia nodded firmly, and touched her throat again. She pointed at Trent, and then back to herself.

The manager frowned, "Uh... Somebody want to explain to me?"

"Sorry. Your waitress was trying to be nice, to coax Mia into talking to her. With either words or sign, but didn't realise that she was hurting her. Mia got fed up with her telling me to be quiet." Trent said quickly, "We'll go, if that's what you want."

The waitress shook her head, "No, it's my fault. This doesn't have to end on a bad note just because I didn't listen. A black coffee for you, and what would, Mia was it? Like?"

Mia nodded her head at Trent. He looked back at her, "Cappuccino? Or a hot chocolate, because you got upset?"

She frowned, and then shook her head.

"Capp." Trent repeated. "But again, we can go, if this is a problem."

The manager shook his head, "No, it seems everything is okay. You don't normally hit people for misunderstanding, do you, Mia?"

She smiled weakly and shook her head.

Most of the time she didn't have Trent, so she could walk away. And when she started to walk away, staff members became less insistent that they knew better than her about what she could and couldn't do.

The manager nodded, "Sure. Sorry. I just... Obviously don't like it, when people abuse my staff."

The waitress shook her head, "No, this really was my fault. I was pretty insistent. So, two drinks for takeaway. Just a few minutes, you two."

The manager hung around for a moment, "It... Must be pretty hard. Not being able to talk. Vi is our resident sign expert."

"Mia doesn't sign in Auslang." Trent said slowly, answering the unspoken question. "It's actually more complicated than not being able to speak. She can make sounds, not words."

"Oh." The man replied, looking curiously at her. "That sounds even harder, then."

Mia smiled at him weakly, and gave a small nod. Then she squeezed Trent's hand and stepped pointedly behind him.

Her brother gave a small laugh, despite how she was probably pulling on his arm, "It's an anxiety thing, too. Uhm... Would you mind, at all?"

"Oh, sure." The man relaxed, "Sorry, again. I was just worried."

"You seem like a great boss to have around. Especially at a tourist destination." Trent said understandingly. More understanding than Mia would be.

He left, and she leaned into Trent's back, gasping raggedly as she remembered how to breathe.

This was the reason she hated the outside world.

All the people who tried to talk to her, and when she couldn't, disbelieving her and trying to force her to. Her therapist always told her it couldn't be forced. Had to come naturally.

Like it had, when she was safe in his arms.

Mia turned Trent around slowly and leaned into his chest, looking up at him pleadingly. The hug he gave her wasn't the one she wanted. He was too damn gentle. Treating her like she was going to shatter.

---

After they got their respective drinks, Trent helped them find one of those uncomfortable seats, but one out of the way so that Mia had a chance to recharge after the confrontation.

Mia sat up on it, one knee up, the other curled in front of her. Looking frightened as she sipped at her drink. The elation from her earlier victory obviously killed flat by a well-intentioned waitress.

That being said... He really hadn't expected Mia to hit her.

She must have been more rattled by it than Trent had thought. Probably because of the massive wave of emotions she had been through, and then getting patronised, multiple times... Enough to make her act out.

"How's the capp?" He asked, trying to start a conversation.

She shrugged, and then smiled at him. Mia lingered on the smile, looking at him with appreciation, long enough that it made Trent feel conscious of himself.

She gave a small snort at his embarrassment, and turned back to looking around the ceiling of the station. His artsy little sister appreciating what was just a bunch of iron to him.

"Is it old?"

She rolled her eyes, shaking her head in amusement at him.

Trent shrugged, "Well, I'm not the one who likes this stuff. You are. You going to be similarly fascinated by the steam train?"

She shook her head, and pushed a thumb to raise her nose. Letting him know that she thought the train was downright boring.

"So... Why'd you go on the train last time? If you don't like it?"

Mia looked at him pointedly, and when he didn't get it, she used her spare hand to point down between her legs. Smiling innocently.

Trent gave an embarrassed laugh, "It was all for your date, huh? What are the chances they thought it was all for you?"

She shrugged, grinning.

He shook his head, "Well, too bad, this time, then. I guess. You're not getting anything like that out of it. But... We did get a word out of you. That makes it worth it."

Her face split into a broad smile and she silently punched the air, and spilled her drink all over her hand. Her eyes went wide, and her mouth moved silently and quickly.

Trent grabbed the drink, and she grabbed her wrist. Standing up and stamping her foot repeatedly. "Bad burn?"

She shook her head, and grunted painfully as she squeezed it.

He pulled a clean handkerchief from his pocket, and went over to a water fountain and soaked it. He handed it to her, and Mia wiped her wrist down, revealing a small reddened patch.

It probably wasn't a bad burn, from what he could see. But being unable to curse about it... That probably hadn't helped.

She sighed, pressing the cold and wet thing against her wrist, and stuck her bottom lip out at Trent.

He raised an eyebrow, "Going to have to give me something more than that to go on. No idea what you want."

Mia held up her wrist, and looked pleadingly at him.

"You... Wanna go home? Too many bad things?" He asked blankly.

She rolled her eyes and kissed her own wrist. Then looked at him and gestured.

He laughed, "You want me to kiss it better?"

She surprised him by giving a firm nod. She hadn't just been joking. That was... New and weird.

"Seriously?"

Mia stamped her foot.

He didn't get it... At all. But... There was no harm in it. Trent leaned in and softly kissed at her burned wrist.

Mia grinned happily, grabbed his shirt and leaned up to kiss his cheek. Surprising him with the contact. Some families might do stuff like that, but she'd never done that.

Ever.

Her lips were soft, moist but nice. She didn't just brush his cheek either. Her hands were tight on his shirt, dragging him down so that she could more easily reach.

Mia dropped back onto her feet, grinned for a moment, and then went back to the chair and picked up her coffee again.

Trent joined her, still in a bit of shock.

---

Finding an excuse to kiss him had been easier than Mia thought.

It had also been far more than she'd expected. She'd thought she could just give a family-friendly kiss, and then that particular desire would get the hell out of her head.

It absolutely, positively, had not.

All she wanted now was to swing into his lap and start making out with him. Her hands against his strong chest. His breath on her cheek. His tongue in her mouth.

Fuck.

The more she indulged this stupid little crush, the bigger it got. He wasn't just safety for her. If he didn't insist on treating her like she was weak... She probably would have already crossed a line and tried to french him.

Which would have ended with the both of them locked in their rooms and trying to figure out how to have a relationship after she fucked it up that badly.

Maybe it was a good thing he was a jerk to her.

But it was his fault for making her feel safe! She felt safe enough to try things. Brave enough.

Yeah, she wasn't fooling herself. This one... That was all on her.

She still couldn't get the idea out of her head. She was really, really, excited by the image of dragging Trent silently into the train bathroom. Recreating the scene for him.

Rewarding him for being there for her, for giving her back her voice, even if it was just for the one moment. Even if it never happened again.

Holy shit.

She was in love with him.

Mia glared at her coffee cup. Trying to look like she was silently fuming, when the truth was... She didn't feel safe with him because he was overprotective. She felt safest with him when he held her tight. When their skin was touching.

Mia had been stuck in her head long enough that she knew how to process things. She knew that when she'd reached a conclusion as big as this one, there was no arguing with it.

She didn't know when it had happened, but it did explain why things were the way that they were. Why she could cum like crazy if he was around. Why she wished that he would hold her every night to get to sleep, instead of only when she asked.

Why she could talk to him, but couldn't even talk to herself when she was alone.

That was how she always fell in love, though. She could never pinpoint a moment when it happened. It was the kind of thing that blossomed slowly from a million small things.

Things like a hot breakfast, every morning.

Fucking shit.

She was in love with her brother. That might be a worst-case scenario if there ever was one. She had to watch herself, control herself.

This was no longer a fake date. That was too dumb and dangerous. She'd do something worse than kissing his cheek, if she let herself indulge that fantasy. Which was a real fantasy, and not just a sexual one.

Mia glared at the cup, trying to look pissed, when all she wanted was to kiss him. To tell him what she felt, as stupid as that was. Knowing that he would reject her.

Break her heart in two.

"Mi?"

She bit her lip and shook her head. She did not want to talk about this with him. Her face was too expressive, her emotions too obvious, because they were how she talked. She couldn't afford for him to find out this secret.

Had to be secret. Keep it close, keep it safe.

"If there's a problem, we can go home." He offered to her, blindly.

That'd be an escape from the memories. But then she'd spend the rest of the day guilty that she'd pretty much just got her way after he had tried to cheer her up.

Like a spoiled little brat.

She already felt like that, most days. He worked, she sat around at home. Unable to cope with the anxiety of a workplace where someone might walk up to her and ask her a question she didn't have an answer for.

His day off, he decided to treat her, and there was no way in hell she was going to throw that back in his face. Even if it was more torture than treat. He was trying to help her.