All Comments on 'Incubus Pupa Ch. 07'

Excellent writing! I can hardly wait for the next chapter!

Well that helps with money and housing.

Been looking for more good incubus stories and read all the chapters in one day. Thoroughly enjoyed all of it and I really hope it continues for a good while. Keep up the awesome work

I finish them faster than you write them! I cannot wait to see the next chapters!!!!! Thanks for sharing the awesome story!

Truly good take on the teen incubus story

Thank you for the kind words. It means a lot!

The story has been developing very well. You are a gifted storyteller, and I am riveted! I eagerly anticipate your next chapter, and thank you for this wonderful distraction.

18 and he has a Harlem and he’s going to rent a place because of his lawn mowing money?

This was written by a 14 year old virgin and not a man. The amount of shit you got wrong is staggering in its idiocy. “I’m going to make everyone my slave and we’re going to live the rest of our lives as happy as pig in shit because robotic sex slaves are so awesome! Every day will be a non stop orgy and no one will get an std, no one will be sad, no one will have any desire beyond serving my cock and I’ll never get bored of non stop sex.

Except everything, and I mean everything, gets tired. At some point, it’s not enough and you have to ramp it up to get the same orgasmic high, and it gets worse and worse. And no one really wants SIRI to suck their cock, we prefer people, plain and simple.

good start but the business woman submission should not be this easy you could have stretched it more like getting female cop involved or social worker her just seeing his wings and bending over so easily is to easy but overall liked it

Please pay Whackdoodle no mind. They’re apparently unhappy that they lack the ability to produce content themselves and need that extra push of putting others down to cover for their own inadequacies to help them get off.

This is a place for learning to write better, where people come to polish their skills and bring happiness to others in the process. I appreciate you taking the time to work on and provide free entertainment of good (not perfect, but quite good nonetheless) quality for us. So please only pay attention to the criticism intended to make you a better writer and ignore the pathetic people that complain when they see something that makes them angry they can’t do it as well as you can.

To be fair, I still really enjoyed this chapter. Ianthe's transition into full on ultra submissive slave mode (specifically outside of the sexual encounter) seemed a tad bit jarring. She was hyper confident and capable, and while it's totally plausible that she'd have a sub side, the transition to devoted lapdog with none of that earlier strength felt forced. There's never been such a drastic change in the characters that have interacted with him thus far, and so it cracks the suspension of disbelief a little (at least in my opinion). All in all, though, you continue to have excellently written scenes and your dialogue and interactions are really believable. Looking forward to your next chapter!

Until this chapter, the story was great.

The main thing keeping this story good was that Adam was still a nice guy, Incubus parts notwithstanding. The last scene ruined the entire mood of the story and seemed to kill any further character development.

Advice: rewrite the entire Ianthe scene (or delete it) and save your story. There are already dozens of BDSM style mind control stories on this site and it would be a shame for this to become just another rape fantasy.

I loved it, I knew as anyone should, when there's a race of sex demons there's gonna be some elements of what was in this chapter, the most important thing is that you don't narrow yourself down to what was in this chapter, as that'd make you just 1 more of those dozens of standard fantasy fulfillment mind control ones, mind influence done right can be absolutely FANTASTIC, keep up the standard so far and I'll keep giving 5/5

Thank you all again for your great feedback. To be honest, I really didn't feel good about the flow of the final scene myself when I posted it, finding the character development felt too forced, as one commenter said. So the criticism of a few folks here definitely resonated with me. I've gone ahead and edited this work and submitted the new version for review. I understand the approval process for edits takes somewhat longer than original submissions, so it's hard to say when it'll be available, but I'll be sure to mention it on my writer bio when it goes live if you're interested in checking it out. As always, thanks for reading.

I love it! You've done quite well with this! I can't wait to read more of it! Thank you!

Great story

The progression from Adam experimenting with his powers to starting up his harem is just a little too quick for me. That said, you're one of the very best writers of erotic fiction on this site, and the seduction of Ianthe was extremely powerful. Where the story goes from here I'm not sure. There needs to be some kind of setback or challenge for Adam for the story to remain compelling.

I do trust you, though. You're a damn fine writer. Looking forward to seeing how this develops.

This is one of the hottest, if not the hottest, stories I've ever read. Don't stop!!!

The work you have put in to this story is greatly appreciated. Looking forward to reading more.

Face pussy? Really? I think you might have been looking at too much hentai recently. Facepussy isn’t a sexy description. Ever.

I am 1 bit disapointed by this one, you by thé opportunity to be nuanced to show the duality of a strong character, instead in 3 line you broke it and made a puppet.

I think you may have lost sight of what you wrote in earlier chapters. In Chapter 5 the Nightclub owner tells the MC "Most Incubi need to feed substantially at least once a week". Yet here the MC is talking about how much he's going to need per day, based on the 4 women he had at school.

The Club owner also says, "avoid engaging a single partner in coitus more than three times within a two-week span of time" (to prevent enthrallment). Yet in Chapter 6, he's fucking Sandy yet again (4th time in a week?), as well as Amy twice and Christine twice.

Still entertaining!!!