Inevitable Pathway to Desire

"What's going on over here?" He challenged.

"Oh my God! Brad." Kayla gasped.

"Brad. Stop. Stop it right now." Danielle jumped up to intervene.

"Whoa, alright let's just take it easy." I said, standing out of the chair with my hand outstretched. His posture resembled past bar goers that attempted to get physical with my friends and I in the past.

"Why do you keep touching him like that?" He aggressively questioned her.

"Brad, chill out, I do it to everybody! Not just him and you don't yell at anyone else for it!"

Brad peered up to me.

"So much for respecting our space. Going back on your word huh?" He said.

His words made my blood boil. However this wasn't a bar, it was a vacation and I'd rather diffuse the situation than get into it.

"Hey, settle down. We're not doing this." I sternly warned.

"Brad stop it! I mean it." Danielle yelled.

"Well stop touching him then! What do you like him or something?"

I placed my drink onto the ground, prompting a gasp from everyone thinking I was going to engage him.

"Ohh something's going down!" Joe antagonized.

"I'm telling you, Brad doesn't want this fight man..." Drew said.

I turned and walked away, entering the house. I traversed the stairs to the kitchen and walked out to the windy balcony. The calming breeze helped me calm my nerves a bit. Around 15 minutes later, the sliding glass door opened.

"Hey, you okay?" Danielle asked.

"Yeah, I had to walk away from that situation."

"I understand, you did the right thing," She said as she walked over to the reclining chair next to me, "don't worry I had a stern talk with him. He's just a little drunk, that's all."

I nodded and took another sip, gazing off into the stars. I could hear Kayla's voice ranting about the incident below.

"I'm sorry you had to deal with that, Casey." Danielle said, leaning into view and kindly touching my back.

"Hey, listen so about the touching thing... I just think we should be conscious of it." I said, gently grasping her hand.

"Oh, tsk, don't mind Brad, again I'm sorry about that. I told him to get himself under control. Believe me, there is no way in hell I would ever let him touch you."

"Thank you," I responded.

"Of course, you know I care about you a lot."

I smiled endearingly at her.

"Still, just at least when he's around, you know? I just wanted to ask you something. How do you feel about the touching?" I asked.

She paused, pensive to reflect on the mannerism she had always subconsciously done with me.

"It's just something we do. That's how our relationship is. You know I wouldn't do it if it made you feel uncomfortable. Am I making you feel uncomfortable?" She asked, ironically touching my shoulder in a consoling manner.

"No, not at all. I guess just don't 'squeeze my bicep' or 'lean your head onto me' in front of him then. You can do it here or anywhere else but just not while he's there." I said, nonchalantly.

She quickly pressed her forehead into my shoulder then reached out and pinched my arm. I had to laugh at her rebellious response.

"Aye!" I playfully retorted.

"What? You said I could touch it when he's not here!" She responded with a humorous smile.

"You like playing with fire don't you?" I laughed, gently pushing against her.

She approached, giggling and using my hands as a brace to lean on.

"So does that mean I get to do this then?"

I poked her ribs. She jolted and slapped my shoulder out of reflex as her eyes widened at me.

"AH! You!" She grabbed my hand as I placed my other up to shield myself from her playful slaps.

"Haha settle down. Let's go inside, it's cold out here." I suggested.

We sat up to walk back into the kitchen area.

She paused at the sound of the Bluetooth speaker. Call On Me by Janis Joplin played and her face lit up like a bright light.

"Wait wait, I love this song!" She exclaimed, not letting go of my hands.

"You do?"

"It's one of my favorites!"

She began to sway along, enticing me to follow. Again, the thought of Brad catching us and starting another meltdown hovered over me.

"Come on! Dance with me!" She beseeched.

"Dani," I said, both of us knowing the reason behind my reluctance. At least one of them.

"It's okay, it's fine," she assured.

"You know what happens if Brad comes up and sees us." I stipulated, still naturally moving along with her rhythm.

"He's fine. Tsk, he's not gonna do anything if he remembers a single thing I told him downstairs. Just join me!"

Her bright smile and beaming attentive nature captivated me once again. Those emerald green eyes that resembled the grasstop sand dunes in the evening. I let myself be free with her, joining in rhythm. Our hands gently clasped as we swayed.

Baby when you're down, and feel so blue.

"You've got some work to do but you're not bad!" She critiqued.

"Thank you." I said.

Well no you won't drown honey, I'll be there too.

My ardorous passion found itself in the rhythm of our dancing motions and the sway of our bodies together. I clasped her a bit tighter as I felt safe with her.

You're not alone, I'm there too.

I closed my eyes as the weight of everything I had gone through the past few months compressed me. However her embrace ensured me that everything was alright. Her humility enticed me to let my feelings out through the dance as I leaned onto her for comfort. She was present for me and received them willingly.

We danced until the end of the song and we separated as our arms slowly dragged off.

"Thank you for that. I really needed it." I said as my eyes blurred.

"Of course, Case." She said, "anytime."

***

Next day, I awoke well rested and the weather was perfect. I saw everyone head down to the pool not long after they left their bedrooms. I noticed the untouched watermelon sitting on the counter and decided to slice it up.

I took the pieces down to the pool and sunk into the cool freshness, rejuvenating my body. Kayla wore a dark blue crossover one-piece and Danielle wore an orange bandeau swimsuit that showed off her curves nicely. I wore dark blue billabong board shorts.

I wasn't shredded like a model but I took very good care of my body. After the breakup, I did a decent job of replacing it with good habits and took pride in it. My muscles still popped in the right ways and the sun showed some definition.

"Aye! About time someone cut that up." Neil said.

"You coulda done it at anytime!" Drew complained.

I noticed Danielle and Kayla bumping to a tune on the Bluetooth. They noticed me and whispered something to each other, secretly glancing up at me. I set the slices down onto the deck when Danielle's hand interjected.

"Here I want this one." She said, grabbing the large fat slice I had cut for myself.

"No! Not that one! Take the smaller one!"

"It's mine now!" She bragged, jumping back into the pool and kicking away on her back.

"Gimme back the good piece!" I joked, swimming after her. She held it behind herself just out of reach and pushed on my chest. I gently swatted it out of the way and lunged unsuccessfully. She giggled and screamed as I continued reaching for it and our chests bumped together, splashing water about.

"Aye, Brad! Better watch out! He's trying to get your girl again!" Joe blurted out.

Immediately I stopped to roll my eyes.

God fucking damn it, Joe. Everytime with these stupid fucking comments. If I wasn't so engrossed in having a good time and causing zero tension, I would've slapped him by now.

Danielle's face was aghast too but she observed my reaction.

"Just take it then. Enjoy your piece." I grumbled.

"Aw!" she expressed politely and concerned noticing that the remark made me uncomfortable.

I took a piece and chucked it at Joe, he flinched as it exploded off his forearm. I ignored his "hey whoa whoa" that followed and swam to the corner, resting my elbows on the wall.

I admired the beautiful day, tuning out everything else. A minute later, the water sloshed next to me and I looked over to see Danielle handing me the big piece with a chunk already bitten out.

"You can have it if you want." She kindly offered.

"No, I don't want it." I said frustratingly.

"Hmm come onnn," she said, humorously chewing on a piece. "Here."

I faced forward and away from her, then felt wet juice on my cheek. I turned to see she playfully shoved the piece into my face. I quickly bit a chunk and grabbed her hand, forcing her to feed me it as she attempted to retract it. She laughed joyously as she attempted to frantically kick her legs to swim away.

She threw a seed at me, sticking it onto my neck. I prepared one in my mouth and shot it at her like a bullet, bouncing off her cheek.

"Ewww!!" She whined, flinching with both of us still laughing. She reared back and chucked the entire half eaten piece at my face. I barely deflected any of it and it splattered all over me.

"Ooohhhh!!" Brad and Joe shouted in reaction. I laughed uncontrollably, diving after her and grabbing her feet. I could hear her muffled screams from underneath the water.

More people started to jump in, splashing about and playing ball. It was a fun time out in the sun for a couple hours until we went back into the house to rest.

As we played cards out on the deck, Danielle asked if I wanted a drink. We walked into the basement where Brad and Joe watched TV.

A reality show played on the flat-screen. A gorgeous looking skinny woman was talking to the host about something while the program flashed back to clips of her in a dress on a red carpet.

"Hey, she's a hottie ain't she?" Joe raised his head at Brad.

He shook his head quickly before taking a sip of his beer.

"Pshtt, yeah she is. Damn!" He commented.

It wasn't enough to simply just agree. He had to take it further and say something completely despicable.

"See, that's the type of girl I wish I had." Brad added.

Danielle froze in her tracks, dropping the unopened beer bottle onto the shelf as she glared directly at the back of his head. He quickly turned, just now noticing her.

She frustratedly slammed the fridge shut, then stomped towards the backyard door, opening it and shutting it with a detectable echo that followed.

"Oh shit," Brad said, exasperatedly.

"Tsk, you fucked up. Better chase after her!"

Brad stood up from the couch and placed his beer on the stand before heading to the door. He exited and walked after her.

I watched as he caught up to her and placed his hands onto her shoulders as she turned away, hunching a bit. He whispered to her and she shook her head. He hugged her then returned back inside. She continued to face the opposite direction, then walked towards the beach.

"Jesus, I feel so bad." I thought.

I walked back up the stairs and enjoyed my drink by the window overlooking the blue ocean as waves rolled towards the beach. The setting sun shone a glimmering orange tint from the horizon. Danielle stood facing the beach with her arms crossed.

I set the glass onto the table and walked out the back door, greeted by the oceanic breeze that carried my hair into the wind. I stepped off the wooden deck and onto the sand, cool and soft from the evening weather. I approached Danielle as she gazed out into the water.

"Hey." I said, standing near her in the sand. The breeze carried her hair over her shoulder as she looked behind, greeting me back. Her eyes were still tearing up.

"I saw you're still upset and wanted to check on you."

"Oh it's fine. My ego's completely shattered but I'll live." She said, flustered and sarcastic.

"Listen, guys say stuff like that all the time, especially when Joe is egging them on."

"Honestly, it doesn't feel great when it's a woman that has a skinnier body type than me."

"No, I understand."

"Can you believe someone is just that willfully rude in front of their wife? It does wonders to my confidence seeing him swoon over some skinny bitch. He wants some skinny-mini? He can fucking have them, I don't give a shit."

"It's just a reality show, they're made to look great. They all have makeup artists and good lighting. That's really all it is."

"It's not just the show I'm talking about, Casey." She said, turning to look over at me with watery eyes, "He still does it. Everyday, when we're walking on the beach his eyes just have to wander. Every girl with an ass, he looks right at them in front of me. And he even gives them looks! I'm sick of it. Fucking men, dude."

"Ouch. I'm not that bad." I commented.

She shot a double take back to me.

"Sorry. You know what I mean, it's not directed at you."

I exhaled deeply, listening to her vent.

"It's just, I don't get it. Like he did what he did and I was this close to breaking up with him but I stayed! Because, I don't know, I feel that it's better to repair something good that you have instead of just starting over. That's what a good wife would do."

"No, I agree. You need to be able to pick up the broken pieces and put them back together."

"Right. And now it feels like he just got off with the perfect fantasy ending. He went out and cheated, no he fucked a model God knows how many times. And nothing happened. He gets to keep his wife, his job, his house, everything while I have to deal with the grief. I mean I get it, she was skinnier than me, younger than me-"

"Come on, don't do that." I calmly interrupted.

"Well what is it then? Like am I always gonna have to worry about every girl who looks better than me?"

"No, it has nothing to do with any of those things. It was just someone different. That's the main reason why people cheat. Believe me, I would know."

Her eyes looked concerned and empathetic towards me.

"So that's why you two broke up." She realized, giving me a kindhearted look.

"Yes."

She gently brushed my arm to console me the best she could in her troubled state.

"You've felt how I do then. I know I'm not the prettiest, skinniest girl in the world and there's a lot more attractive women out there than me-"

"That is not true at all." I blurted out.

Shit...

She turned and gave a polite flattered smirk.

"How did you get over it?" She asked, looking back at me.

"I'm not," I laughed, "your self-esteem takes a plummet and you have to find your confidence all over again. It's a long battle but you learn to truly love yourself at the end of it."

She turned back towards the beach and her shoulders hunched inward.

"I don't know if I'm capable of that right now..." She sobbed, "I don't love anything about myself."

"There's a lot to love about yourself," I said, "You're a great wife, a great person. A great friend. You're selfless, caring and you're funny!"

I courteously brushed her shoulder. She gingerly touched my hand in response.

"I don't want you to feel like that determines your worth because it doesn't." I said.

"Oh it doesn't. I know my worth. Just wish someone could see it." She said, turning to me as her hair fell behind her.

"Hey! See at least your confidence is still there." I encouraged her. "If anyone can't see that, they're blind or just dumb."

A smirk crept up her lips before she gazed back at the setting sun that casted a marigold orange glow on our faces.

***

Later that night, I sipped my third glass of tequila, my skin began to tingle a bit and I felt less inhibited. The alcohol made me drunk enough to a good comfortable level. I sat outside, mesmerized by the tiki torch flames and how they reflected off the indigo blue pool water.

"Hey, you okay?" Danielle asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine! Just needed a moment to myself."

"Aw I'm sorry, I'll leave you to it," She said, turning towards the house.

"Wait! No, don't go yet!" I said.

She spun back around to me and smirked.

"Come sit!" I beckoned.

"Sure," she said, sitting down on the chair next to me. She wore a white romper with light blue stripes, perfectly clinging to her curvy figure.

"You having a good time?" She asked me.

"Yeaah! Totally." I responded, "it's always a good time with you!"

Her smirk grew into a smile as she turned away for a second.

"What? I'm serious! You don't have to make a fool out of me, I see you makin' fun of me." I said in my embarrassing slightly delirious state.

"Says the person who called me a 'slapped asscheek'!" She fired back, "now you look like one."

"I was giving you tough love, I was trying to give you thick skin since you're so sensitive."

"Oh please, I am not that sensitive."

"Okay fine, you're more sensitive when it comes to things that you love."

"That is true," she said, glancing up at me.

"I love that about you," I blatantly stated as the alcohol shoved any reservations aside.

"Oh yeah?" She asked, eyebrows raised as she humored my inebriated state.

"It's part of what makes us such good friends." I said, leaning closer.

None of us minded the space, she just smiled and her pupils dilated at me.

"I'm sorry, I'm not annoying you am I?" I asked in dismay.

"No, no you're fine." She said, unwavering in her position.

"I would really hate to make you feel uncomfortable."

"You're not." She said considerately. My hand felt hers on top, still tingling from the tequila.

"Good." I said, retaining a charmed smile.

I admired the details in her face. Her charming welcoming smile, the freckles that dotted her nose and dimpled cheeks, her medium golden skin tone, her long locks of blonde hair draped over her shoulders. The torch flames flickered in her pupils.

Our closeness felt more magnetic than ever before. She never distanced herself once, signifying to me that she felt comfortable close to me.

I looked down at her thin lips, perfectly appealing in every shape whether pursed, happy, sad, and even angry. Then back up to her eyes that never averted. I surrendered to my emotions as they took control.

I leaned in closing my eyes, ready for her touch. I felt nothing but air. I slowly opened to see that she had moved ever so slightly out of the way. My eyes trailed to the ground and the alcohol effects began to wear off.

"Sorry." I coyly broke the silence before the hurt grew intensely within my heart.

"It's okay." She said, blinking rapidly as her eyes slowly trailed away. A painful dejected feeling arose within me along with guilt and I felt so stupid.

"I'm sorry, I need to go..." I said in dismay, feeling my nose sniffle up and my eyes felt irritated.

I stood up and walked out, fearing that I made a mistake and began questioning if what I'd done in the heat of the moment was due to unclear signals or a lack of judgment on my part.

I walked to the back porch as the breeze blew in my face. I sat on a chair and placed my hands on my forehead.

I sat there for a bit, around a half hour, feeling stupid, heartbroken and strangely upset at her. It took me some time to muster the strength to go back inside. I walked toward the glass sliding door when another person came toward it in a rush.

It opened and Danielle stood in the way. I stepped back noticing she carried high urgency with her. She stepped outside and closed the glass door behind her.

"I'm going to ask you something, okay? And I want you to promise me that you will be as truthful as possible. Can you do that for me?" She asked, explaining very carefully.

"Okay." I whispered, dreading what came next.

"Do you have feelings for me?"

The words felt like fingers pushing into my chest

My eyes performed a theatric, widening from the surprise question, squinting for the confronting nature of her request, and then looking offended for asking a question that required an elaborate and very emotional response out of the blue.

"Danielle." I said, clearly baffled, but not because of the question's suddenness.