Instant Photo

"Happy Birthday Sarah!" screamed her cousin Liz as she walked into Sarah's Dad's house. "How's the Birthday girl?"

"Nervous," Sarah whispered into Liz's ear as she gave her a cheek to cheek greeting. It was no secret between the two that Sarah was expecting something big for her 30th birthday from her longtime boyfriend Josh. Her and Liz had been talking about it back and forth for months as Sarah helped with her cousin's wedding planning. She so wanted to celebrate her possible engagement to Josh and thought that this was the perfect weekend to do so. Today, Saturday, was her birthday and Sunday being Liz's wedding day. It was now or never.

"I've got my fingers crossed!" Liz said as she showed Sarah her left hand, index and middle fingers entwined. All Sarah could see was the rock on Liz's ring finger.

"Come in. Come in," said Sarah as she took the bags Liz was holding. "Have a seat." They settled in on the couch. It was still an hour before most people would be showing up for her Birthday BBQ bash.

"Where's your Dad and Step-Mom?" asked Liz.

"Dad's outside babysitting his smoker and Tessa's in the kitchen," she replied. Sarah's Dad always went all out on these parties. "He's been smoking beef, ribs and turkey since last night and he can't seem to pull himself away from his grill," relayed Sarah. "And Tessa's made just about every type of salad known to man. We're going to be eating leftovers for weeks!"

"Ha!" laughed Liz. "Well, I won't be any help. I need to fit into my wedding dress tomorrow so I can't pig out today!"

Sarah's smile faded. She loved her cousin Liz. They'd been like sisters growing up because Sarah was an only child. Now Liz was getting married. Sarah couldn't help the feeling that she was somehow losing her best friend.

Sarah shook her head. "How did you do it?" she asked.

"Do what?" Liz responded.

"Get Bryan to pop the question?" asked Sarah. "I mean, I feel like I've done everything right. Left him tons and tons of hints, and he still hasn't put a ring on it. What was it? Three months before Bryan asked you to marry him? Josh and I have been dating for 4 years now."

"It was 4 months," replied Liz.

"Thanks, that doesn't help," said Sarah. She looked down into her lap.

"Sorry Sarah," said Liz as she went in to hug her cousin. "I don't know what I did. It just seemed so right, so natural, whenever I was with him. I didn't do anything special. I didn't expect it to go so fast. But when he asked me, I knew the answer right away."

"I'm sorry too," replied Sarah. "I guess I'm just jealous. You guys are so perfect together. You deserve all the happiness in the world."

"Thanks, Sarah. Josh will do the right thing. I have confidence in you," Liz said as she rubbed her cousin's arm.

"Hey, I have something for you," said Liz as she tried to change the subject. She pulled up one of the shopping bags that were sitting at her feet. "I went to an antique shop and found these!" She spilled out the contents onto the coffee table.

"What are these?" asked Sarah.

"It's a bunch of those old insta-matic cameras from back in the day," explained Liz. "I've seen on some wedding sites that these are all the rage! You just point and click and it prints out a picture. Watch!" She grabbed a Poloroid camera and pulled her cousin in close. Before Sarah could even object, Liz hit the button. Click! Flash! Whirr. Out popped a glossy wet piece of photo paper.

"What's wrong? Nothing's on the picture," Sarah asked with a confused look.

"You have to wait!" Liz took the picture and began to wave it in the air. "It has to develop!"

"Why can't we just use our phones?" asked Sarah.

"You can and many people will," Liz said. "But this is just for fun." Liz looked at the developing picture but couldn't stifle a laugh. She covered her smile with her other hand.

"Give me that!" yelled Sarah. She went to rip it out of her cousin's hand but Liz held the photograph out of reach, laughing hysterically. "Damn you!" shouted Sarah as she wrestled Liz for the picture. Sarah was finally able to rip the picture out of Liz's grasp, mainly because Liz was laughing so heartily.

Sarah looked at the nearly fully developed picture. It showed a beautiful, radiant, smiling Liz sitting next to what looked like a bridge troll. She could make out that her own mouth was wide open and her eyes were half closed. The rest of the picture had been smudged.

"Oh my God!" yelled Sarah. "I can't believe you took that picture!"

"Look at it this way," laughed Liz. "If I had taken it on my phone it would be on Instagram by now!

"Oh God! No Way!" yelled Sarah. She crumpled up the picture and threw it in the trash can next to the writing desk in the living room. "Don't you dare point that thing at me again!"

"Oh, come on Sarah! These things are fun!" said Liz. "Look, I wanted to pass these out to all my best friends at the wedding. Since you are my bestie I figured I'd let you choose first."

They looked at the array of instant cameras spilled out all over the coffee table. They were all different makes, models and sizes. Sarah recognized some of the company names: Polaroid, Kodak, FujiFilm. As she looked through her choices she came upon one that was still in a box. She picked it up.

"Who did you get all these from? She asked.

"Like I said, from down at the antique store," replied Liz. "When I asked the clerk about the owner, he said that the owner's husband collected photographic equipment from all over the world. Unfortunately he had just passed, so his widow was selling his collection. I just had to buy them after his story!"

"Oh, OK," replied Sarah, almost absentmindedly. She was trying to figure out the writing on the side of the box she was holding. "What language is this?"

Liz looked at the box. It seemed different than all the others, almost like it was hand made instead of printed. "I don't know," she said.

They both looked at it quizzically. "Open it up," suggested Liz.

Sarah turned the box to open it. The top of the box had large cursive letters. "Viitorul Tau" was what was spelled out.

As Sarah went to open the top, the old box gave way and the contents spilled out from the bottom. "Oops!" Sarah exclaimed as a camera, several packs of film and a note fell out of the bottom. Sarah picked up the camera, "I hope it didn't break."

"Let's try it out," Liz said as she reached for a packet of film.

"Hands off!" yelled Sarah. "After that last fiasco, I'm taking the picture!" She pulled the package of film out of her cousin's hands.

Liz grabbed the note. "I can't read this, it's in some foreign language." she stated.

"Looks like it works like the others do," offered Sarah. She pulled open the tray, unwrapped a package of film and slid it into the camera. "What's this knob for?"

They both looked at the camera. The extra knob seemed to be the only thing different than all the rest of the cameras. The numbering on the knob ran from 0 to 30. "Maybe it's a timer or something," Liz offered.

"Well, it's set to zero," said Sarah. "I can just leave it there. I don't need a timer. Here, pose for me and I'll see if it works."

Liz posed the same way she had before. Sarah pointed the camera and pressed the button.

Click. Flash. Hum. Whirl. Clunk. Clunk. Pfft.

"Nothing came out!" shouted Liz.

"No wait, I can feel it's still vibrating," said Sarah.

Hum. Clunk. Whirl.

Slowly, a fully developed picture began to emerge. "Oh that's different!" shouted Liz. "I've never seen one where you don't have to wait until the picture develops!"

As the picture emerged, both Sarah and Liz smiled. There was Liz, looking beautiful and radiant. "Do you ever take a bad picture?" Sarah asked her cousin.

"What can I say, I'm just a natural beauty!" replied Liz. Sarah whacked her arm. "Hey! No bruises! I've got to wear my gown tomorrow!"

Sarah chuckled. "Well, I guess I'll just take this one. I like it. It's different, and I know it works."

"That is a nice picture," noted Liz. "Maybe I should have hired you as my photographer for the wedding!"

"No thanks!" replied Sarah. "I want to have fun! I know who you've lined up for the band. I'm going to be dancing the night away with my new fiancé!"

Liz smiled, but deep down she feared that Sarah was setting herself up for a big fall. She hoped Josh would make her cousin's dream come true.

"Have you talked to your Mom yet today?" asked Sarah.

"No. Not yet," confessed Sarah. "I guess I better give her a call now before things get too busy and I forget. Make yourself comfortable, drinks are in the dining room. I'm going to go and take a walk and talk to my mom. Lord knows I can't talk to her if I'm in this house. She always gets so sad. It's bad enough as it is."

"See you in a bit," said Liz. She gave her cousin a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

Sarah grabbed her phone and headed out the door.

--

"Hi Mom, it's Sarah!"

"Oh...Hi Sarah...Happy Birthday." Sarah's mom Jane let out a big sigh.

"How's the weather in sunny Florida?" asked Sarah.

"It's hot as hell," answered her mother. "I don't even know why I live here. I can't go outside without melting."

"Mom, you say that every year!" Sarah was more than just a bit exasperated with her mother. She always complained, but never would do anything about it. She had lived in Florida ever since the divorce almost 20 years ago.

"Yeah, well, it's hot every year!" replied her mother. There was a bit of uncomfortable silence until Jane spoke up again. "I miss you honey. I really thought I'd get to see you for your birthday."

"I'm sorry mom," replied Sarah. "You know I'd love to be with you, but Liz's wedding is tomorrow and there's no way I would miss it. You know that!"

"I know. I know," answered Jane. "How is Liz doing?"

"Much better than I would be," replied Sarah. "She's on cloud nine and enjoying everything about planning her wedding. I'd be pulling my hair out!"

"That figures," said her mom. "You two were always like that growing up! She was always happy and bouncing around and you were always brooding about something or other!"

"Gee. Thanks Mom," Sarah sighed.

"What's wrong honey?" asked Jane. "I thought you'd be happy with your birthday and the wedding and all."

"I am happy! At least for Liz," confessed Sarah.

"What about you?" pried her mother. "What's wrong?"

"Mom," Sarah paused for a few seconds. "Mom, it's Josh. I don't know..." Sarah's voice started to crack as she felt the tears well up in her eyes. "Mom, I'm tired of waiting. This wedding is just making things worse. I want Josh to propose. I want to get on with my life. I want to have kids. I look at Liz and I'm jealous! Why can't I be the one planning a wedding!" Sarah's tears started to flow.

"There, there, honey," her mom responded. "When it's time it will come on its own. Don't rush it."

"How in the hell am I rushing it, Mom?" Sarah yelled. "It's been years! He's had every chance! If he doesn't propose today I'll be crushed!"

"Don't do that to yourself dear," counseled her mother.

"Mom! I...I just don't know. How did you do it?" asked Sarah

"Do what?" replied her mother.

"You dated Dad for a long time. How did you get Dad to finally marry you?"

"I...I gave him an ultimatum," replied Jane. "I told him if he didn't offer to marry me before my next birthday I would leave him. He had 2 months. He gave me a ring the very last week. It was probably..." Jane paused. A tear dropped into her lap. She wanted to say that it was probably the worst mistake of her life. But if she hadn't married George, Sarah's father, she never would have had her precious little girl, the only positive thing to come from her marriage. She couldn't do that to her daughter.

"What are you trying to say Mom?" asked Sarah.

"Oh nothing dear. Happy Birthday Sarah. I love you. I need to go now. Please give me a call later and let me know what happens. Goodbye."

"Goodbye Mom," said Sarah.

Jane hung up the phone, she slouched over in her chair, head in her hands. She started to sob uncontrollably.

Sarah was depressed. Her talks with her mother always seemed to leave her that way, but this time was worse. Worse because it was about her own state of affairs instead of her mom's.

Sarah took the long way home. She just wasn't ready to face the throng of well-wishers. She was looking down at her feet as she walked, deep in thought. She turned a corner and happened upon a local park. A group of young mothers had met up at the park with their children. The mothers were all smiles and the children were all laughing and playing. It stopped Sarah in her tracks. It made her feel so alone as she watched the young moms interact with their children.

Sarah clenched her fists as she felt the resolve set in her jaw. "If he doesn't propose tonight I'll give him the same ultimatum Mom gave Dad. If I don't get a ring on my finger, then it's over." She marched all the way back to her father's home.

--

"Happy Birthday!" they all screamed out as Sarah walked in the front door. She had been gone so long that all of the guests had arrived. "We were worried about you!" said Liz as she and Sarah's other good friend Rachel walked up to her. Rachel gave the birthday girl a hug.

"Sorry," replied Sarah. "You know my mom. It's always something."

"Got that right!" yelled George, Sarah's father.

"Dad!" protested Sarah. "Not now!"

"Sorry Baby! Happy Birthday!" her dad leaned in for a kiss on her cheek.

"Dad! You reek of smoke!" Sarah complained.

"Ok. Fine," replied her father. "I'll just pop upstairs for a quick shower. Hey. I have someone here that will put a smile on your face. Hey Josh!"

Josh exited the kitchen with a glass of bourbon in his hands. "Happy Birthday Babe!" he said as he walked up to her. He reached in for a hug and a kiss.

"Thanks Josh," Sarah said as she turned her head, letting his kiss fall on her cheek. A smile did come to Sarah's lips, but it was more of an uncomfortable smile.

"Let's go sit on the couch while we wait for dinner to be ready," said Josh. "Would you like a glass of wine?"

"Sure, a dry white would be nice," she replied. Josh headed back into the kitchen.

Sarah watched him disappear. She was having trouble understanding her own feelings. She didn't feel elated at Josh's appearance. She realized she hadn't felt elated around him in a long time. Maybe it was just being so used to his presence. She felt torn. Torn between wanting him to drop to a knee and propose to her right there...or...seeing him just walk out the door. Sarah shuddered at the thought. Where had that come from? Maybe the wine would make her feel better.

"Here ya go, Babe," Josh said as he handed Sarah the glass of wine. He sat back down next to her.

Sarah sipped her wine and stared off into space. Her thoughts were a garbled mess. She hoped that Josh would erase all the uncertainty she was feeling by sweeping her off her feet tonight.

"Get any presents yet?" asked Josh.

"Not yet," replied Sarah. "I'm hoping for a special one though."

Josh smiled at Sarah. "I think you'll like what I got you," he said.

Sarah smiled back. Maybe her waiting would all be over soon and she could wash away her doubt.

"What's in this box? Is this a present?" asked Josh as he held up the camera box that she had gotten from Liz.

"No, it's for the wedding tomorrow," said Sarah. "She's handing out these old instant cameras for people to use."

"Oh...these things are cool," Josh said as he opened the box. "Here, let me take a picture of the birthday girl!"

"Ok. I guess," said Sarah. "But if you're as bad a photographer as Liz is then I'll ban you from ever taking my picture again!"

Josh fumbled with the camera. "Is the film loaded already?"

"Yeah," responded Sarah. "I think you just have to point and click."

"What's the knob for?" asked Josh.

"We think it's a timer. I haven't used it yet," explained Sarah.

"Hmmm. Well, I'll test it," said Josh. "I'll set it to 1 and take your picture. Ready?"

Sarah smiled for the camera.

Click. Flash. Hum. Whirl. Clunk. Clunk. Pfft.

"Looks like it's broken," said Josh.

"Just wait," said Sarah.

Hum. Clunk. Whirl. The camera started to reveal the photo.

"Oh. That's different," remarked Josh. "I couldn't tell if there was a timer though."

"Lemme see the picture!" said Sarah. She was worried since the last one taken of her came out so poorly. "Oh, It looks nice," she said as she looked at herself in the picture. She was smiling and it looked like her just fine. Although something seemed...different. She couldn't place it. Oh well. It was an old camera.

"Let me try that again," offered Josh. "Here, I'll set it to 15. Then we'll know if it's a timer. Give me that great big smile!" Josh pointed the camera once more.

Click. Flash. Hum. Whirl. Clunk. Clunk. Pfft.

"Hmmm, I don't think it's a timer," said Josh. "It took the picture right away."

Hum. Clunk. Whirl. They both waited for the picture to emerge.

"Oh...that doesn't look right," said Josh. "I think it's blurry or something." He tossed the photo to Sarah.

Sarah looked at the photo. It kind of looked like her, but not really. It almost reminded her of her mother back when Sarah was a teenager, but not exactly like that either. She shook her head. The dim light in the room didn't let her get a clear view. Sarah looked closely at the eyes in the photo. They seemed sad.

"That thing's broken!" yelled Josh. "It's a piece of junk! Whoever sold it to Liz ripped her off!"

"I guess," agreed Sarah. She took the camera and the photos and put them back into the bag. "I guess I won't bother bringing this camera to the wedding."

"Oh...yeah...the wedding," said Josh. "Did your Dad tell you?"

"Tell me what?" asked Sarah.

"He's shipping me back to Washington D.C. tomorrow," explained Josh. "I won't make the wedding."

"What! No! You're kidding! You can't go! I don't want to go alone!" Sarah was almost in tears. "Dad!"

"What is it dear?" George said, making his way downstairs after his shower.

"Are you sending Josh to DC?" she asked in a shrill voice. "I need him to go to the wedding with me tomorrow!"

"Yes I am, Sarah," her dad answered back in an authoritarian tone. George didn't care for taking 'no' as an answer. "Sorry, but business before pleasure! You know that Josh is my right hand man and I need him to handle an important client down at the DC office."

"This isn't fair!" shouted Sarah.

Josh put his arm around his girlfriend to console her. "It's OK babe," he started. "I wish I could be there with you too, but duty calls. I'm working for our future. I know it's not ideal, but this is more important than just one night!" George gave Josh a wink.

"OK, I guess," moped Sarah. "But who will go with me? I don't want to go alone!"

"Why don't you take Rachel," offered Josh. "I'm sure she will go. Hey, Rachel!"

Josh called Rachel over and explained the situation. Rachel readilied agreed to be Sarah's plus one. Sarah just sighed. Her birthday wasn't going very well. First her mother's phone call and now this. She couldn't shake the dark cloud she felt was hanging over her.

"Dinner's up!" yelled George. He and Tessa placed all the food on the dining room table for people to serve themselves. Friends, neighbors and business associates grazed at the prepared meats and salads. Sarah just watched the goings on. Except for the occasional 'Happy Birthday' she didn't engage much with most of the guests. Even Josh seemed to be spending more time working the room than being with her. She felt alone in a sea of people.

Sarah wandered out to the patio. It was a bright sunny day and the sun glinting off the pool made her squint her eyes. People were milling about drinking and conversing. It wasn't making her feel any better. She sat down on a lounge chair and looked down into her lap.