All Comments on 'Interbred Ch. 01'

looking forward for more:) keep writing please

good idea, but there are numerous mistakes when it comes to grammar. try to get an editor!

if you were paying for the story then you can complain but it's free. This is also an international site and for some writers English is their second language. It's no guarantee that having an editor will make it better either. I've read stories with editing that were no better than without. remember it's free reading material!

Maybe there is a good story here, I don't know. I couldn't get past the grammatical and punctuation errors.

Please learn how to properly punctuate and format dialogue. At times you just gave up completely and didn't even put conversations in quotation marks. When you did use them, they generally weren't punctuated properly.

Also, learn about verb tenses, then pick one (preferably past tense) and stick with it. You flip back and forth between present and past tense many times in this.

Yes, this is a free site, but authors who put their stories up here are expecting people to spend time and effort reading them. At least respect your reader (and yourself) enough to take a stab at proper English.

Real writers use beta-readers and editors. And Literotica has a list of volunteer editors so people can find someone to proof read and make editorial, stylistic, and organizational suggestions. Why? Because writing has to be edited in order to be good!

I agree, if you can't make a better effort to communicate, there is no point in submitting another unreadable story. Not even the basics were being followed.

I always hate the comebacks from people who claim that editing isn't to be expected because this is free. We may not pay money but we give our time to read this stuff so it should at least show the common courtesy of being somewhat readable.

I also don't buy into the second language excuse. Why would someone submit an erotic story on an English language site before their basic writing style was up to par?

The thing about being a writer is that you have to keep an open mind. I have noticed what you guys have seen on it and granted a good portion of the story you have all wrong to a big degree. The italics didn't work when I uploaded it. So now I just have to let you know the way the ones who think my grammar is bad kinda just made me laugh because I wrote it that way on purpose. The cat went rogue and in my opinion with them going rogue they would lose their humanity with it. Yes I can admit some people do not know what some of the terms I used even means but that can be easily looked up. If you do not know German history then I can understand some of it. I am not a foreigner just a wacky writer who has already written for years just not on this site.

Even your reply lacks basic grammar and spelling! You can either make excuses or get better at your craft. And I don't care how many sites you have written for, if your story is too hard for the reader to follow, then you have failed.

I read your story with no problems what so ever. for all those complainers "keep your opinions to yourselves or go buy a book from the bookstores better yet write your own story to read since ya'll only read to find faults to complain about".

i agree wit trubblemakur whole-heartedly. KEEP ON WRITING. i loved the story.

The material is very interesting. However it is clear that the story was written stream-of consciousness with the author imagining the events as they happen and writing in the PRESENT tense.

Thats great for scripts and comic books but doesn't work for stories, which generally require a past tense.

As to the dialog, it was hard to understand who was speaking and who was being spoken too because the story didn't use the standard format for dialog and response.

Clearing that up, while it wouldn't change the story, would just make it easier to read and clear up the character interactions which all mean the story becomes more immersive.

When the reader can just flow through the story, and not have to stop and figure out who said what to who, it increases the enjoyment of the story.

Okay, a few things:

1. This is a public forum where you are JUDGED by others on your writing style, strength of plot, correct use of grammar, character evolvement, etc....

2. Writers, even unpublished ones must always have a person(s) to proofread and/or edit their body of work. You write because you love it. That's also why we read.

3. You must develope much thicker skin if you are so easily offended by the comments that I have seen. Take it with a grain of salt. Those that give you constructive criticism. Take it, improve and move on. Those who are vulgar and nasty just for the sake of it, ignore.

4. Your grammar was an issue in the story and your incorrect use of tense

and word placement made the story a difficult read.The story has a lot of potential if you can get a little help. Good luck.

really confusing jumble of words. I literally had to read it three times to understand what was happening and why and I can honestly say I still have no clue... but I won't give up yet, I'll keep reading to see if I like two and three.