Interstellar

Author's note:

This is my contribution for a writing challenge "A Song from My Story, a Story for My Song". As always, each and every vote and comment are dearly appreciated.

I don't have the patience for poetry. Even when composed into songs it's often not the whole lyrics but one idea, a line or two, that stick to my mind and demand my attention. Even more so with songs/lyrics in foreign languages, which English is for me. Recently in my life, and for this story especially, it's these lines from this song:

"We're one, but we're not the same

We get to carry each other"

U2 / One

My sincerest thanks to my beta readers! You guys are the best.

—#—#—#—#—#—

The new girl seemed startled, when Rhonda introduced her.

"I'm...I'm also Stella," she stammered as they shook hands.

"Don't worry about it," Cooper said, smiling warmly. "You can call me Cooper, or Coop. Everyone does. When I was in school, there were three Stellas in our class, so we went by our last names."

"Oh, okay," Stella said and managed a shaky smile. "Nice to meet you, Cooper."

"Yes, nice to meet you, too," Cooper said as she settled at the coffee table at their office. "And hey, at least I'll remember your name. When did you start again? A month ago? I'm at location so much I hardly ever stop by here. At the customer site, I mean. In a few months I'm switching to another site, and then I'll be here, at home base, every Friday."

"You sneaky bitch," Rhonda said, laughing, and nudged her side. "You only chose Friday, because that's the best food day at the cafeteria."

"Who, me? No," Cooper said, feigning innocence but grinning widely. "Wouldn't dream of it."

Stella seemed relieved that the focus wasn't on her anymore. She was maybe in her thirties, it was difficult to say. She was tall and slim, and of the type that probably looked exactly the same at fifteen and forty-five. Cooper, at her forty-two, wasn't that much older, but somehow she felt ancient. It had been a busy autumn, and it was getting to her.

"What are you doing for Christmas?" Rhonda asked. She was maybe Cooper's best friend from the office, and her question went deeper than one could've guessed from the surface. Cooper's eighteen-year-old daughter, Mindy, was just overcoming an eating disorder. She was doing vastly better than she had been in the summer, but spending holidays with relatives, expected to stuff her face every few hours, sounded hazardous.

"We are going up north with Mindy," Cooper confirmed. She knew Rhonda could hear the things she left between the lines. "Grandma's not so well, and we will all gather there over the holidays. Me and Mindy will probably come back for New Year's, though."

Rhonda nodded and stirred her tea. She never drank coffee, which wasn't a bad decision, considering that awful muck the coffee vending machine produced. Cooper grimaced as she tasted it.

"Blargh, this I haven't missed at all," she said. "What about you and John?"

Rhonda told about their upcoming Christmas cruise. Her youngest, Sam, had recently moved away from home, and she and her husband were enjoying their newfound freedom like newlyweds. Cooper was openly envious. She was divorced, and Mindy's condition had taken so much of her time in the last months she hadn't dated for what felt like ages.

Whereas Cooper was originally from up the coast, Stella had moved from the south, and she was going back down there for Christmas. Everyone joked about getting tanned on Christmas Eve, and she smiled politely. She seemed shy and reserved, and Cooper wondered how she would settle into their work gang, which was often raunchy and rambunctious.

—#—#—#—#—#—

Weeks went by, and Stella relaxed a little, but there was something about her that kept tugging at Cooper. It was the same unease she was used to associating with Mindy. She wondered if Stella also had an eating disorder, but nothing in her behavior at lunch breaks hinted in that direction. Eventually Cooper shrugged it off, thinking she was imagining things, that Mindy's condition had rendered her paranoid. She also felt she was at the office so seldom it wasn't her place to say anything about Stella. It seemed she did her work well, and that was all that mattered, professionally.

On a train up north for Christmas, Cooper conspired with Mindy to set up practices that would allow both of them to live over the holidays. It felt twisted to come up with practices that would excuse her daughter from eating, when she'd spent the last year or so trying to get her to do just that, but now it felt more important to maintain some sort of mutual mental equilibrium. Mindy appreciated her efforts, and they formed a sort of alliance. Cooper made sure Mindy ate something every day, and their relationship seemed to deepen over the ordeal of dealing with the rest of the extended family.

On Boxing Day, Cooper sat in the neighborhood bar with her old boyfriend, Ben. They had separated on good terms, and still got together regularly—usually when Cooper came up north. They had gone through each of their current news, getting pleasantly buzzed on eggnogg and mulled wine, and were now contemplated whether to switch to scotch or call it a day.

"So, tell me," Ben said and sniffed his whiskey appreciatively. "How are you doing, really?"

"What do you mean by really? I'm okay, really."

"I mean personally. You haven't really been involved with anyone since you divorced Caleb, have you?"

Cooper cast him a stern look. "No. I've had my hands full with Mindy. I don't have energy to pamper some guy on the side."

"Pamper?" he asked, bemused. "I thought you could maybe do with someone pampering you. And if not a guy, how about a gal?"

Cooper shrugged and sipped her own drink. "Well, I'd have nothing against having someone pampering me. There just aren't so many candidates throwing themselves at me."

"No? I guess not. You should work a little less, live a little more."

"Yeah? You always say that."

"And you never listen."

They grinned at each other. This was their usual conversation. The bar was very quiet, there were only a few other customers. Cooper waved her hand to gesture over the room.

"See all the people lining up to be with me?"

"I could be with you," Ben offered.

"Yeah?" Cooper said and sipped her drink again. "I might take you up on that."

Ever since they had broken up, they had a habit of casually hooking up when they weren't otherwise committed. Their friends had often commented that their breakup didn't follow any rules, because they failed so utterly in having any animosity towards each other. They also failed to mess up their relationship, or their relationships with other people, by continuing to have sex.

It was true it had been a long while. Between work and Mindy, Cooper didn't have the opportunities nor the energy to pursue anything for herself. She wasn't very lonely, and she felt like she was holding up well in relation to her responsibilities, but the comfort and pleasure of having sex and cuddling with someone was tempting. She considered returning to her parents, to see if Mindy was okay, but decided it would be enough to call.

"Alright, lover boy," she said and gulped down her drink. "Lead the way."

—#—#—#—#—#—

Cooper didn't get back to the office until the second week of January. The gang went over comparisons of family holidays in the cafeteria, laughing and comparing whose relatives were the thickest.

"I don't think any of you can compete," Cooper said and gestured over the table with her fork. "My uncle Phil is so annoying. Oh, god. We've been through all of everything for so many times with him, and still he can always surprise, and not in a good way, either."

"Oh I remember," Rhonda said and chortled. "What did he say this time?"

"Well, you know his son is gay, right? Trevor? It was a struggle, when he came out. I really wonder how Trev hasn't completely severed ties with him. Well, anyway, Trevor is living in this commune of 'the rainbow people', as Phil calls them, and that's an endless source of misconceptions and disbelief for Phil. Now there's a new resident, someone who's transgender. Phil gave a ten-minute speech on how 'you don't need a doctor, you need a shrink, because the fault is in the head and not between her legs.' He refuses to acknowledge their gender. Are you okay there?"

The last sentence was directed at Stella, who had dropped her knife and was now bent under the table, fishing for it.

"Oh, yes, sorry," she mumbled from under the table. "Please, don't stop on my behalf."

"Well I know how thick uncle Phil can be, but I just couldn't avoid taking the bait," Cooper continued. "I asked him how much therapy would it need to turn him into a woman, because that's how it's supposed to work, right? Trev nearly choked on his eggnog, and we had a spectacular fight with uncle Phil. I shouted that what your gender is and who you wanna fuck are two different things, and Phil shouted that it was impossible to change his gender because he was all natural and like God had created a man, and well, you can just guess it went downhill from there. I hope he's not talking to me anymore, but I suppose I've got no such luck. But God, he is stupid. Are you okay?"

The last sentence was, again, aimed at Stella. She was now coughing with something apparently stuck in her throat. Rhonda, sitting beside her, patted her back a few times. Stella just shrugged and waved as if to say please, don't mind me.

"I'm half hoping that Trevor would start dating the transgender kid," Cooper said with a smirk. "Don't know his sexual preferences, though, Trevor didn't say. But that would teach Phil right."

Rhonda laughed at that. "Oh, well," she said. "What about you, Stella? Are your family members as dumb as the rest of ours?"

"Well, I've got this one aunt that doesn't understand time zones," Stella said with a shy smile. "My cousin Calvin, her son, lives on the west coast, and Aunt Myrtle just can not understand that the time is different there than it is here. We've been explaining it to her a gazillion times, using beach balls and flashlights to represent Earth turning, but it's just beyond her abilities. She just keeps calling Calvin when he's still at work and such. I'm amazed she is qualified to live on her own."

"Hear, hear," Rhonda said. "It's a good thing we're all so intelligent. Regular crown jewels of our respective families, right?"

"Right," Cooper said, laughing, and raised her glass of water. "I'll drink to that."

They toasted and got on with their lunch.

—#—#—#—#—#—

Cooper's client ran into financing problems, and her time at their site was cut in half. For the remaining two days each week she worked on a project Stella was working on—training events for software their company was developing, including the training material and slideshows. Stella was efficient and intelligent, and working with her was a lot of fun. She had very good ideas, and presented them with growing self-confidence. She was going to be the one giving most of the training sessions, and Cooper knew she would ace it.

Cooper had hosted these kinds of training sessions for many years. Now she was purposefully holding back, letting Stella handle it herself. She stood at the back of the classroom, making sure the taping was proceeding as planned, and she felt pride swelling in her chest. It was similar to what she felt over Mindy's achievements, and she smiled at herself. Surely Stella wasn't hers to be proud over, but she really was acing it.

After the course completed, and they had reviewed the recording and judged it to be perfect, they went for a drink to celebrate. Stella was much more relaxed now, and they joked around and had a friendly chit chat. She didn't go into anything very personal, and neither did Cooper. It was just nice to spend time together.

After that they considered each other friends, and often stopped to talk when their paths crossed at the office. Cooper had another project coming up, again restricting her "home base time". As much as she liked the variance, she was disappointed to see less of Stella. Cooper didn't like so many people, but with Stella she felt like they clicked, and enjoyed their deepening friendship.

—#—#—#—#—#—

In March, Rhonda started planning for an annual recreational event for the team. Before Rhonda joined the company it had been a rotating job, but she had such a knack for it that it had now become her sole responsibility. She arranged something different every time, and sometimes struggled to keep to the budget. The rest of the team assured Stella it was going to be something good, and even if they needed to pitch in a little of their own money, it would probably be worth it.

Stella seemed to enjoy spending her free time with her workmates. She and a few coworkers had shared sessions in beauty salons, and went out for a few drinks, or a dinner. Everyone kept telling her the best parts of previous year's recreational endeavours. She giggled in all the right places and seemed generally enthusiastic. She seemed to have settled well into the work community. Cooper was pleased—she liked the girl, and while she was away for too much to help, she was glad that the rest of the crew had taken her in so well.

Rhonda announced she had found a new thing for their recreational get-together: a ship that did 24-hour cruises, just out of their own harbor. It was a new concept, like a swimming hotel. It had nightclubs and restaurants and the patrons would stay overnight. Everyone was excited, although the timing and arrangements raised a few questions. Rhonda promised to get back to them after she'd made the reservations. They agreed on the weekend when the event was to take place, and after that the meeting dispersed.

Two weeks later, Cooper was just finishing lunch with the rest of the team, when Rhonda barged into their cafeteria table, all excited. She made room in the middle of the table, pushing their trays aside, and spread brochures and papers for them to see.

"I've made a preliminary suggestion on how we're gonna share the cabins," she said. "See, the cabins we have are marked on this map of the ship. The most cabins are for four people, but I think the budget is big enough to have only three per cabin, so we don't have to squeeze in quite so tight. This is the list of how I thought it could go."

Everyone leaned closer to see, when Rhonda listed names and pointed at the respective cabins. Cooper craned her neck as well, but then a sudden movement made her lift her head. Stella was scrambling up from the table, she was in such a hurry she almost pushed her chair over. Her eyes darted from Rhonda to her other coworkers and back, and she seemed positively panicked. She looked like she was going to say something, but then she just turned and hurried away from the table, towards the bathroom. She left her bag on the back of her chair. Everyone was so immersed in the preparations they hardly noticed.

"I'm going to see where she went," Cooper said, stood up and picked up Stella's bag. Rhonda nodded absently, talking to Maria on whether it was preferable to have a cabin with or without a window out to the sea.

The bathroom had three single stalls for women, and three for men. All the women's ones were unoccupied. Cooper wondered if Stella had just run off somewhere else, when she came out of one of the men's bathrooms, her face flushed and damp.

"Are you all right?" Cooper asked. "Did you throw up? Couldn't you make it to a women's bathroom?"

Stella turned sharply to look at the door, and blushed when she saw the symbol on the door.

"I....I..." she stammered.

"What happened?" Cooper asked. Stella opened then closed her mouth, distressed. Cooper looked at her, and with every passing second her instinct to intervene in some way grew stronger. She told herself she was overreacting, but then decided it was better to overreact than under-react. She stepped closer to Stella, took her by the elbow and steered her towards the door to exit the building.

"I'm gonna take you home now," Cooper said. "It's clear you're not okay. I'll tell the others you had food poisoning or something, okay?"

Stella didn't reply, but didn't object, and in a few minutes they were sitting in Cooper's car. Stella clutched her bag against her chest. Cooper switched the navigator on and asked for the address. "You normally come in by public transport, right? So your car isn't left behind?"

"No, I mean yes," Stella said, confused, and gave her address.

They drove in silence. Stella was biting her lip and looking out the window. Cooper glanced at her occasionally, but didn't want to ask anything before they could get to a more private place.

Stella's apartment was nice, small but nicely furnished. Stella set her bag down on the table in the hall, and looked at Cooper.

"Thank you," Stella said, clearly embarrassed. "You didn't have to do this. I'm feeling much better now."

"Really?" Cooper said. Stella nodded, but it didn't look convincing at all.

"I just remembered that I maybe can't go on the cruise after all, because...because...something's come up."

"Oh?" Cooper said, raising an eyebrow.

Stella blushed a little but didn't say more.

Cooper debated whether to press the matter, then decided she had already gotten involved.

"Not good enough," she said. "Just come here, I'll show you something."

"What?" Stella said, alarmed, but she followed Cooper to the living room.

Cooper sat on the sofa. "This is something I've learned in my daughter's therapy", she said. "Sit here and turn your back to me, your feet on the sofa. Come on."

Stella looked apprehensive, but did as Cooper asked. Cooper lifted her own feet up, and carefully they settled to lean on each other, back to back.

"You okay there?" Cooper asked quietly. "You know my daughter is recovering from anorexia, don't you? I think I've told everyone about it. This is something her therapist made us do, starting with the first session we did together. Relax as well as you can and lean on me. Feel me breathing."

Stella shifted a little, and leaned back. Cooper pressed back, feeling Stella's slim back relax against her sturdier one, and how they unconsciously searched for the same rhythm in their breathing. Cooper slowed hers deliberately and soon she felt Stella relax some more.

"So now what?" Stella asked.

"Now you tell me what's wrong," Cooper said. "Don't try to explain, don't decorate it, just breathe in, and then blurt it out. I'm not gonna judge you, whatever it is."

"But, I..." Stella said.

Sternly, Cooper said, "I know there's something wrong. So just give it up. Don't overthink it, just let it go."

Stella breathed in and held it for a second. Cooper was sure she wasn't going to co-operate but Stella shifted again, took another breath, then blurted, "I'm transgender."

Cooper was surprised, but she had experience in staying still and not letting it show. The whole point of this exercise was to let the other get the issue off their chest, whatever it might be. She leaned against Stella, breathed in, breathed out, and waited for her to continue. Stella didn't, but she didn't dart away, either.

After a few moments, Cooper prompted, "And?"

"And what?" said Stella, sounding on edge.

"And how is that a problem?" Cooper asked. "I mean, it's not like it's an acute crisis, is it? What made you so upset at lunch?"

Stella breathed out. She relaxed a little, but very little. Cooper sat still, breathing in, breathing out, deliberately slowing the rhythm to pull Stella along and make her calm down.