All Comments on 'Isabelle & Lucy Ch. 01'

A good start! There's some first person/third person confusion in a couple of places, though.

Yeah it was giving me a hard time trying to make changes to typos and stuff like that. But I’ll make sure to be more vigilant throughout these next few upcoming parts.

Yes sorry about that. It was giving me a hard time whenever I was trying to make corrections two typos and things like that. I’ll make sure to be more vigilant throughout these next few upcoming comments.

Thank you very much for the feedback!!

Good start that outlines the players and sets the scene. The ending is ideal as it establishes who might have something, initially, unexpected.

The time has come for the truth! You must read your text before submission, preferably aloud. Listening to what you have written will have minor blips pop-out for correction.

A few glitches include "I just can't figured out . . . " perhaps you cannot figure out OR maybe you haven't figured out ?

Then the typos show themselves; Pinkas vs Pink as and who rather than two . . .

There were others but I hope these will highlight to you why reading aloud is beneficial.

You show great potentialocation and have a fertile mind, proven by this essay.

Please continue.

Great start. Hurry with next chapter pls

The next chapter was submitted yesterday. I’m just waiting for it to be published.