Note: You can change font size, font face, and turn on dark mode by clicking the "A" icon tab in the Story Info Box.
You can temporarily switch back to a Classic Literotica® experience during our ongoing public Beta testing. Please consider leaving feedback on issues you experience or suggest improvements.
Click hereThen I felt my father cum in me, then granddad shoved his cock in my mouth and he came. I could not take it all and it began dripping out of my mouth. I felt someone beside me and it was my grandmother, licking the cum from my face. I had another orgasm and I fell to the floor, unable to move, laying on my mother's legs. My father and granddad rolled me off my mother to the floor. As I was coming back to life, grandma and my mother were there smiling at me. My mother kissed me and said, "I told you I could make it fun again."
Great story. However whole story is not said from POV of Sarah and when dialogue changes between persons without indication who is talking making it little hard to read. Apart from that great piece of writing.
Wow. A good story. But very hard to read. The ever-changing point of view was difficult to keep up with; much more annoying than the typographical errors. I was glad to wade through to the end; underneath it all there was a good story there.
And now for the constructive part of the criticism: Simply put an extra blank like or a line of three asterisks **** to mark the changed. It becomes obvious and purposeful. Then read each section from back to front. You’ll probably catch the typos and wrong words and wrong tense that way. I think we’re from the same part of the country where we say “would of” it is really a contraction of “would have”, which is written “would’ve”
You put a lot of effort into telling a good story. A little more would make it better. Or you could be like my English friend who writes on a tablet, shuts off comments, and doesn’t care.
Very hot n erotic theme, could be a little slower, more details, taboo factor adds to become great story.
Thank you so much!!!
I loved the story, but proofreading for spelling and grammar would help. Switching the narrator between characters from one paragraph to the next took some getting used to. There should be some indication when you are switching narrators, so the reader does not have to put as much effort into recognizing the switch. Maybe a rewrite into third person would help with the flow.