All Comments on 'It's Just Magic Pt. 05'

Only 1 page? Oh dear gawd, why do you hate your readers so much! <snark>

Your stories are articulate and well-written, although I have two suggestions for change.

First, your main character appears immature with tendencies to manipulate and bully. It would be nicer to see him be more concerned about those around him than he is with himself. Rather than prank the football players to get rid of them, he can learn enough about them to help them realize that their behavior is unacceptable and that better options are available. For women whom he picks up for casual sex, perhaps he can pick up on existing lust rather than create it in some innocent but attractive woman.

Second, conflict tends to drive story plotlines and interest. It becomes uninteresting when everything comes through little or no effort. How can he earn his abilities? How can he learn to benefit those around him?