All Comments on 'Jack and Phoebe Ch. 02'

by Nefari0us

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AnonymousAnonymousalmost 2 years ago

Good premise continues.4

But every sex scene begins much too abruptly. And continues and ends too soon.

And too many individual people having some sort of sex.

Seems to be a race to get large numbers of people orgasming.

Three stars.

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A novice writer looking to get her efforts in front of people in order to improve. Constructive criticism gratefully received.

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