All Comments on 'Jack's Women Ch. 06'

Loved it, Keepem comin. story is going along just fine,keep writing and i'll keep reading. Thanks for sharing your talent.

suggested that it would be nice if he got one or more of the girls pregnant. True, it would be. If you are going to get a female pregnant, however, one of the first requirements (other than no condom, pills etc.) is that the male actually completes the act inside the female! Something that has not happened yet.

I love the story and the characters and the portrayal of the sex, however...

Please get someone to do your editing. Sometimes a second set of eyes can find where you missed grammar, used the wrong word, or put punctuation in the wrong place.

Are Darrells old buddies or Competitors going to show up. Not counting his suppliers. They just are'nt going to take a "hit" like that and not try to get their Ca$h or the Women for themselves. as for getting them Pregnant their Hookers they would have IUDs and pills. so they can continue working.

I like the story, flow. Keep in mind that having that many women, spending money in one place, will attract attention. Also, you never mentioned security.

Thanks for all your comments throughout these chapters. I have been toying with a few ideas as for the direction of the story. I've got one more chapter that's ready for upload and then I need to start writing again.

The pregnancy is a possibility and there definitely will be something about retribution for Darrel, but as of yet, just ideas, nothing solid.

Thanks again! And I will be looking into getting an editor for this, I know my mistakes are getting on some of your nerves. Sorry, I'm a work in progress as are my stories.

I really like the story and want to read more, however there are some grammar and spelling issues that are like fingernails on a chalkboard.

"You're" is a contraction of you are - as in "you're writing a very good story. "Your" is the possessive of "you" - ie This is your story.

Also, don't mix up "then" and "than" - ie It is not " more then" it is more THAN, or less THAN; or it is IF this THEN that.

Geeez the guys pumpin out a damn good story here, for free and all you can do is complain about grammar and spelling? If it's that important to you get off your fat ass and contact him and ask to edit for him then. I would rather have a few grammar and spelling mistakes to get these chapters faster than wait for a edit. Keep up the good work!!!!!

Plainly awesome