All Comments on 'January Sucks'

I’ve enjoyed all the different sequels on this story, and yours was well written. But I didn’t care for the fact that Jim never confronted Linda about lying about seeing Mark again after their original night together. Letting Linda off with nothing but a benign divorce was just not sufficient payback for what she did. Marc got off too easily also. He was traded, and lost a few endorsements, but he was free to continue his predatory ways. Jim did get a hot, new wife in this one. I quest that’s a win for him.

that was a long read, I for most of the story thought that Jim might be a wimp and a cuck though he did made it tough for Linda. What was Linda thinking? All that words in her letters and yet she took Asshole hehe Marc to her house and had sex?!? Are there really women like these in this world? So much drama about her loving her husband then just went had sex again with lover. I just wish the author gave description what the other videos Jim had on Linda and lover in the house, I might blow up but would have liked to know details. It was really good the way it was written though it went through a lot of drama on Linda's side about how she loved Jim over and over again it made me nauseous.

For your first story it was very good. I give it a 5 as it had a good storyline that stayed pretty true to the original.

Way too long to just end so abruptly.

Why did he drag it out? He had proof she was still meeting Marc and fucking him on at least 2 occasions.

Why prolong it? it did nothing to help him in any way.

Why not even ask her? Like when she wrote the letter? she'd fucked Marc again. Then he heard their chat in which she loves Marc, even after confessing and being jealous about Ellen.

Why not just say " ok let's talk about reconciling. can you swear on the lives of our kids you have not had sex with Marc since the first weekend.

She knows he saw her at home with Marc. I think that's the biggest thing that bothered me. they seemed to be oblivious to the reality of the situation and just went through what you wrote to fill 13bpages, not because it was nor.al behavior.

When she had Marc at the house and fucked him with the kids there, that should have ended it! he should have gone public. he never revealed all he knew nor used the information. Then why did we need it in the story?

It was bad enough what she did at the club. Unforgivable. But, fucking Marc in their house went WAY beyond that.

She should have been out on her ass and the video sent to the media.

KB

This is the best of the continuations. It made sense. Very good.

13 pages of long rambling uninteresting tripe. A gas line explosion killing everyone solves the problem on page one.

It took 13 pages to tell basically the same story?

Your version of Jim had no balls at all and never even confronted Linda about her ongoing affair. The original was a cuckfest, ending in a nauseating RAAC, but you left so much of that in that it didn't fit with him divorcing her. If anything, your version of Linda was far worse than the original, but Jim was still being civil to her?

"Do you think it's too soon to begin talking about more kids?"

I thought Ellen couldn't have kids? She had a hysterectomy after the botched abortion.

I really like the following stories.

This was one of the bee.

Still he gave her to much rope.

No sane guy would have stayed even after the first night.

I found myself wanting more done to punish Marc.

And the wife and friends needed more emotional pain.

Didn't seem like the wife was all that upset about the family collapsing.

...a response from the husband that isn’t a desperate RAAC.

This was the best of ALL the stories in this sad trail of misery.. in February AND January. Your concerns, expressed in the 'foreward' regarding needing an editor were, in my humble opinion, unwarranted and nothing distracting attracted my attention. To consider the author of the original 'a more experienced writer' was respectful but not important as my enjoyment of your story was dramatically greater than that of the disapppointing and ill-advised derge of the original 'February Sucks' The characters were all brighter, better defined and more relatable in your story. If I, as a mere reader, were to evaluate the two authors my opinion would diametrically oppose yours Thank You 5***** Great Job.

Look, it was a tad too long as a story, and it took too long to get to where the story needed to be, at the divorce. When we finally got there it was all over in a blink and the tale over.

Jim was a complete jackass and dickhead, Linda a stupid, empty headed conniving bitch who really had nothing going for her in this sad tale from the beginning. But, she got hers, in spades. Even lost the kids, the silly bimbo.

Ellen was the real star of the story, a saint who was the real winner in this sordid tale.

I wanted to give 5/5 but because of the above could only manage 3/5

I had the impression that Ellen had an hysterectomy...

Ordinary story in the end,

Ranking now has 1st Saddletramp1956 2nd Hooked1957. 3rd Dylanthomaslives.

Still, this story rates 3/5 for the reasons given in my other comment

The residents of Llareggub...will be delighted nice work!

Excellent! You really put some flesh on the bones. I'm sitting here after having read this story wondering if a woman could actually be that delusional. Of course they can, but reading about it is painful.

So, here's to a great first effort! Fact is, you certainly can take the training wheels off and ride on your own.

Thirteen pages?!? I skimmed it. Whole sections repeated from the original. Long winded. And what was Marc served papers for at the end exactly? He wasn’t married yet! (See, I skimmed it WELL). And the random use of italics was ridiculous.

Can’t wait to see tomorrow’s version of this story! Keep em coming! NEXT!!

The entire story line really gets under my skin and works my emotions. It was sad to see it drawn out for so long as the husband seems undecided, but I do understand that is where marriage takes you. The bonds are slow and hard to break (except for a cheating wife that has not yet grown up). Good job.

Much more realistic than previous offerings and a credit to the author. This had me riveted right through. 5 stars!

Can we please put this story line to bed or in the grave. The original story was quite interesting and, at the time, quite novel. The first few adaptations were interesting as well. Yesterday's additions were over the top and should not have been added.

This one, at thirteen pages, is not worth the time to read it. George Anderson's ground has been ploughed over so many times it has been ploughed to dust, which is quickly blowing away in the wind.

Please people, get a life!! or at least get a new idea.

It's all fiction but.you wrote for the most part about believable people.

It dragged out a bit sometimes

But well done anyway.

This was all over the place. I enjoyed the radio talk show bit. That was a good idea and a good way to get some revenge. Linda was entirely different in this version than the original. She went from a one time chance of a lifetime cheater to a round heeled slut. His ability to monitor every aspect of her life stretched things a bit. The girlfriend/new wife wanting to talk about more kids after her hysterectomy seemed unusual, although you could argue she meant adopting more kids.

When the husband didn't want to go into his own house and catch his wife with the football star because he wasn't a "stalker" was ridiculous, at best. I am sure others will mention that fact. Did he need a reason to be in or near his own house, his property and his children? They were sleeping in a house with a steroidal nut on the loose. I was concerned that he was playin football so long after the season was over. Even if he won the Super Bowl, he would be done for the season by early February.

The solution all fell into place quite easily, but only after pages of hand wringing. He heard enough in the first couple days of monitoring his wife to end the marriage. There were many interesting ideas here, but they needed to be trimmed... a lot. It got rather wordy. Keep posting.

Tough to have more kids naturally, what with the hysterectomy and all, but there is always adoption.

While it didn't flow perfectly smoothly, the quality of the writing wasn't bad and it was one of the better efforts to provide alternative endings to this infuriating story.

Wow please write more you are very talented!

All of the stories in this story line are excellent and I’ve enjoyed them all, but I think yours was the best.

Very good story - one note on the last line - didn't Ellen say should could have kids?? However that aside probably the most realistic of the follow ups. I can see this playing out just like you wrote. I too was hammered by the original story, the level of emotion it evoked shows GA can write a story that grabs you buy lapels and hammers home emotion. You wrote Linda as much more evil character, manipulative, etc.. and the main protagonist a much stronger character.

Linda being such a bitch fit much more with her actions in my mind, though I can see the good person does a bad thing in the way GA wrote his story.

Bravo for a great effort. Hope to read more.

Fantastic story, you’re an amazing writer.

Actually this might be the best of the three versions I’ve read so far. At least as far as I like how things end up.

First, I quickly rated this story, I only give 5* ratings because I rate less than 20% of the stories I read. This site provides more stories than anyone could read, why one would read all the way through a story, that was less than "the best" is a mystery to me.

Secondly, (should it therefor be firstly?) my ratings come on stories which are told well (of the tale being told). I rated (a 5) the original of this giant of a story (it has received more efforts retelling it than any I am aware of - which is a huge complement to the original author, GeorgeAnderson). I also rated at least some of the subsequent retellings. Truly marvelous for an author to come up with an idea which spawns so much interest.

Now! I am going to go against my normal practice and comment on the nature of the story, I prefer reconciliation, it seems the most rational to me, particularly, if there are children. But, normally, I don't comment on that, because the author has a story to tell and it might run from a teary reconciliation to nuclear elimination, here - my job is to read, or not, and endorse, if I choose to rate. But this act of walking out on a husband in front of friends is not one that lends to reconciliation (granted, Anderson did a great job of working me around until I thought his story plausible).

Going even a step further, I would say this story, as much as it deserves my praise, is short of the response deserved (having said that, I should write the response deserved - in my apparently lofty opinion).

George Anderson’s original story was still the best of the series of attempts to rewrite it. George Anderson dealt deeply with a flawed person who made a mistake and repented. DylanThomasLives writes well and I hope he continues his efforts. But, in this case, the author changed Linda completely from a loving mother and wife to a plain lying and cheating slut, who, at the end, was willing to lie in court and have her husband suffer criminal rather than inconvenience Marc. This is not the original Linda, but an entirely different person, and the author’s attempted melding makes Linda appear simply schizophrenic. The real deficiency is that the story does not explain how Linda went from a loving wife and mother to an inconsiderate and deceitful slut who obviously did not care about her husband or children. How did that happen and why? The gap kills a very long and otherwise well-written sotry.

Very good job! Only BIG glitch I saw was the last sentence. She can't have kids according to her story earlier.

Great job on writing your alternate version of February Sucks, enjoyed it very much. The only other comment is that I found it a little long, but it still works.

Looking past football in March, I liked how this story played out and learning the Wife was truly flawed beyond a single moment of bad judgement.

No ridiculously far fetched revenge schemes. No unbelievable violent revenge with perfect injuries and the hero skates out of trouble. The actions and consequences were all within the realm of possibles. Justice was served and the hero had a happy ending. 5*

13 pages! You have got to be kidding...

thanks for another proper ending of this story. I would have liked to see Linda burned more though to get a good revenge feeling for Jim.

Did I miss something?

Ellen is unable to have kids, so how can they have more kids? Or are they talking about adoption?

How is Ellen to have more kids? She had a hysterectomy after her botched abortion.

You didn't think anyone but you would be happy with your ending. I enjoy GA's writing skills but his male characters tend to leave me wanting more balls, but his stories evoke so many emotions.

I was already to jump all over this line at the end if you didn't deal with it yourself, but you covered it; "Yes, he left with her, but only to make sure that she got home safely. Yes, he was at home when I arrived, but he was alone." How stupid can people be, knowing the police were there and interviewed all three people on the scene? All of it would have gone into the report which is a public record that anyone can get a copy of. They all would have seen the officer take a picture of the check when she removed it from the windshield.

In real life I would have found a way for Linda to have seen and heard some of the more incriminating texts and conversations just as vengeance without her having copies so as not to be able to use them against me. Perhaps at a conference at his attorney's office, in private of course. Anything that was legally obtained such as in my home (if it was legal in their state) would have found it's way to to all concerned parties, family and the whole fucking planet. It would have thundered like the Apocalypse. Can't see LaValliere being traded to where he ended up, Dallas would have seemed more likely for reasons I won't go into this time. If there would have been any doubt about the marriage it would have ended when she walked into the courtroom and then lied about the check. Although I realize it was necessary for the story to end the way it did I was glad to see you found a reasonable judge, shades of Rehnquist. I know personally they are out there, but we generally only hear about the other kind. I can't say any of this would play out in the real world the way it did here, bit it is fiction. I Can say that it is possible for the husband who didn't cheat to end up with custody of two small children even decades ago.

One very good effort, especially for a first effort and a LW story at that.

But as 26thNC said after I believe ChloeHay's first story "Welcome to the Swamp." Signed: BTW

Save the best for last.

The whole court scene was too much. Cannot be found in contempt when not under oath... they could have easily forgotten about the check in all the excitement.

Why did the wife just give up? As far as she knew he did not know of all the conversations with Marc. She just abandoned her kids? Sorry, but no mom does that. Even with notoriety she would have stayed. This was very good story until the last page.

The final talk with wife where he proved she was/is lying and that he was plan b. This was crucial to conclusion and feels empty without it.

I know it was long story, but was worth it. The end was just rushed.

It was the closest to reality that I could imagine of all the alternative versions - other than the immediate replacement of wifey with a beautiful suitable woman. I know that it ties everything up in a nice neat package, with the kids thanking the protagonist and step mother in the same words that they used previously with their biological mother, but the convenience of Linda moving away is unlikely. The sad reality is that unless she is not capable, either physically or mentally, of being primary custodian, she would get custody, and in the context of the characters in this story, she wouldn't abandon the kids, and Jim would be the part time Dad.

Also it would be an amazing achievement for a woman without an uterus to have children!

Well done and thanks for the effort, keep on writing!

A bit too long so I admit I skimmed. My only complaint is that he never told Linda he knew of the text, the calls, and the videos of her having sex with Marc after she said she was trying to build their marriage. I mean even after the divorce he could have done it to show this was not just about that one weekend.

I've said this in man stories, including other versions of this one: They say, "I'm still the same person." Yeah, the same person that was able to humiliate and cheat on him. BTW, the idea that she was somehow saving HIM from embarrassment by sneaking out instead of telling him to his face is pure bull shit.

/

"She said that Mr. LaValliere was irresistible but now she promises that she will resist him completely." - EXCELLENT point! I also don't buy that she wouldn't have stayed with Marc if he had asked, DEFINITELY not if she was single.

/

I find all the techie spy stuff wearisome. I think what she as already admitted to doing is enough. I don't care if she's as pure as the driven snow from now on.

/

"pinpointing each play where he had given the other team a critical first down or breakaway touchdown." - Marc's a tight end, he plays on offense, they don't give the other teams first downs or touchdowns.

/

The fact that she's even CONSIDERING a "future" with Marc is the kiss of death for their marriage.

/

"Peeping Tom?" Just because he told Linda that he was going to the hotel, it's still his house, he has every right to be there.

/

I can attest to the accuracy of his sentence, I was involved in a situation where a pleaded guilty and was on unsupervised probation for a year, then it all went away. One thing that I DON'T think was realistic was the Judge asking Linda and Marc anything without putting them under oath.

Please do us all a favour and write more! Well done.

great version but please let us put this story to bed!!! Still a good read sir.

Best alternative rendition of G Anderson's "February Sucks" that I've read. Great content not needing an editing look at all. This coming from a volunteer editor that hasn't done it for awhile and has yrs of experience in high school English instruction. Excellent effort for your first submission. Hope to read more of your work soon.

5 stars.

WS

Your prose flows well, and some of your plot elements are quite good. The fundamental problem is that GA's story is "unfixable". His plot is constructed on the ridiculously inconsistent and, therefore not credible, character of Linda. Having the "Linda" as written up to the dancing scene suddenly undergo a personality transplant to turn her into a cruel adulteress simply can't be believed. Like so many LW stories, GA's takes the cheap and manipulative route to drama by taking a woman absolutely committed to her marriage and her family, and who is written as deeply in love with her husband, and hits her with the Martian Slut Ray. Then GA has her character revert to her earlier form after she returns from slutting. I was impressed that you not only saw this, but also saw the need to address it, as shown by "Jim's" epiphany that Linda lacks empathy. Your clever effort doesn't solve the "Linda" problem. If Linda lacked empathy (remember, you wrote that "Jim" can't remember a time when she displayed it), she'd be a sociopath. That certainly isn't the "Linda" GA originally wrote.

"Linda" simply isn't fixable as a character. To make her consistent with the person GA wrote up to the dancing scene, Linda would have to have come back to the table and left for the hotel with Jim. That's not much of a story. On the other hand, she could be made consistent by writing her from the beginning as being similar to Dee - a somewhat shallow slut-in-waiting. That gambit would result in a routine LW story. All this is to say that a reader with a brain isn't going to suspend belief when an author writes an unmotivated "Jekyll and Hyde" character (Remember, Stevenson motivated the emergence of "Hyde" by Jekyll drinking the potion). I think GA's best bet would have been to give Marc special hypnotic powers and put the story in the "Mind Control" category. Even then, it would have been a poorly plotted, cliche ridden failure.

A second point I'd make on plotting is that it is odd that that you and other authors seemed to feel that "Linda" had to be made worse than GA's in order justify a divorce. That's unfortunate. It's almost impossible to imagine any man staying with a woman would deliberately, with cold-blooded premeditation, do the cruel and humiliating thing she did in public in front of friends. I think you did the only thing that anyone could have done to improve GA's poorly plotted effort, and that's by rewriting GA's offensively inconsistent "Jim", whom GA ultimately turns into the stock, copyrighted LW weak, needy, unprincipled, cuck of a husband, and by dropping the idiotic "LW" and "Ellen" characters (obviously, your "Ellen" is a very different character from GA's). I do think you required far more betrayal than was necessary to firm up Jim's spine regarding a divorce. He was clearly written as a "one and done" guy, and Linda's "one" was so over the top that nothing further should have been even remotely required.

Your ending was too "LW formulaic". Linda giving up on the divorce custody issue without a fight wasn't really credible as written. It could have been written, but you just rushed through it. The "happy ending" with Ellen was a tired LW trope.

Overall, though, you did a fine job of writing, and your plot sense shows promise.

As a side note, I wish LW authors would: realize that divorce law isn't what it was when they were younger (I think this category has a very old demographic), drop the mawkish sentimentality, and understand that how divorce affects children depends on the situation and the parents. Failure to divorce can have very negative consequences for children, not least of which is teaching the wrong life lessons.

Outstanding first story, a very high bar to continue. Will look forward to more.

Glad to see that you took the plunge and contributed to Literotica, and hope that you continue to do so. That said, I have seen/read enough takes on the original (which I did not feel was a 5 in the first place). Use your imagination and enthusiasm for writing to create some erotic tales of your own. Looking forward.

Pretty darn good first attempt, the Feb Sucks has been a favorite story for a bunch of folks and your spin on it was excellent. Good job and keep writing.....

Definitely one of the top endings. Smart and well thought out and well written. I look forward to your next submission.

13 pages and really nothing added here. The wife was less devoted to her family and more into the football player. The wife seeing the husband at lunch with another woman did not have any lasting effects, despite her letter. The wife again never was forced to really regret her actions and never did. This story is a long swing and a miss for me.

Didn't she have a historectimy?

Why would you write a story that makes your hero look like a stupid, weak willed pussy?

I am giving 5 stars but there are 2 things I need to comment on. First I cannot see any way this woman would abandon her kids to move to California. Second for this story in particular he should have sat down with her and when she started spouting her crap about loving him he should have started playing the calls, the texts and finally the video of them in his bed. I think it was important to hear what she had to say then. Also if she was fighting to save her marriage why arrange to turn up at court with her lover. Despite these criticisms I thought this was really well written and deserved full marks. I also think you should continue writing as you certainly have a talent.

Seemed to fall flat, she kept fucking him, and lied in order to get him jail time, and then its all wrpped up in a few short paragraphs?

Where is her suffering? Where is her pain?

Thank you for the posting and yes it was well edited and reasonable. You may not please the BTB crowd, but those who actually wanted a good read got it.

TY

This ending though not completely satisfying seems to me the best. The layout of the ‘rest of the story’ lends to an attitude of get it over with and let hurt be covered by time and knowing he came out the winner.

....impossible and outrageous drivel as the original.

Like the author of the original, your work extends the drama with varying and uncertain timelines, endless vacillations and glacial resolution.

Do you really think people behave that way?

This was far too much mayhem, glossed over with an all too thick coating of civilized baloney.

Well, nothing ventured, nothing gained.....

I have to say when I saw 13 pages I almost didn't read it. Your intro scared me that you were going to fall into forgiving the slut category too. Thank you for the story, enjoyed it!

God help us, every version gets longer and the wife, Linda, becomes more and more of a bitch. To top that off the husband lets her continue to hang herself. He could have broken things up at the first night but left her with him. Then saw her with Marc at the house and walked away. Then new when she went out on shopping one Saturday said nothing. He also had the audio the phone call where she said she loved Marc and kept quiet. This story could have been wrapped up in six pages not thirteen. All the Ellen stuff and the ex girlfriend of Marc was filler that wasn’t needed as was most of the court case. Like the premise of the original story and parts of this and couple others but overall things just mare and more complicated and long. As for the author of this story, for a first attempt it’s not bad at all. He just needs to get to the point sooner. 5 stars for a first attempt.

Story was significantly altered from the original. Asshole was still Asshole. Linda was portrayed in a much harsher light - probably way more than contemplated in the original version ( i.e the continued affair with Asshole). Ending was appropriate in the version. Ending in the original was not

David v. Goliath. Average man takes on "big Man" and puts him down. Great Job! When people who believe they are entitled suddenly realize that that entitlement is nothing more than an illusion which allows them to believe they are better than anyone else is destroyed and that they, themselves, are only an illusion of their own making.

Love the story, please continue writing.

... that could have been wrapped up in fewer words. Your use of italics is highly irritating. 3 stars

The last sentence. She can't have kids. Still 5*. Thank you.

The author in the prologue claims that he is bothered by the fact that “the adverse consequences were distributed in inverse proportion to the culpability of the characters. In other words they worse a character actor the better they fared” in the story by George Anderson.

While I strongly agree with that analysis the author failed to follow through with his own story in this particular case. Yes the wife ended up paying a price but there were a number of confrontations which needed to have taken place which did not and that really ruin the story

Generally speaking this is a pretty good version for continuation of the original story and the behavior and conversations turn the main characters it seems fairly realistic. Even though the story was 13 pages long it ready very quickly because part of it of course was a continuation from the original story.

Still there were some gaps in it which could have been filled in. Why go through all the effort to get access to Linda's phone with her conversation / texts with her friends and with Marc the scumbag football player if it is NOT going to be used at a confrontational climatic point in the story?

the husband knows - and so does the reader-- that Mark the football player spent an evening with Linda at marital home. Not only did he know see t Mark there with his wife but he also has phone conversations and text messages. Yet there is no revelation of this information to the wife knowing that the wife has a once again chosen him.

This is most unsatisfactory on several levels.

First WHY doesn't the husband confront his wife and Marc at the home since it is his home ? The Husband has his trusty smartphone with the audio recording available. Instead he decides not to confront his wife who has been spending days telling him that she will never see Mark again that it was a one-time thing and that she loves him very much .

WHY?

Second because wife keeps saying that we can get past this week and move on and we can rebuild our marriage and other mindless platitudes ….how then is she still fucking Marc the football star?

Even if for some reason the husband decided not to confront his wife and Mark at their home…. why does it not come up later on the story?

The lack of Confrontation here is unsatisfying because the cognitive dissidence of what the wife is saying and doing and proclaiming versus her actions. This needs needs to be confronted.

Obviously we can infer that this information finally came out in the divorce hearings and or that her parents finally found out what she was actually doing. But given the wife's duplicity and her proclamations of love and innocence and that she was never going to do it again ….a dramatic confrontation needs to happen in this kind of story

the fact that it never does kind of ruin the story

Good story, but it felt way too long in the middle and way too rushed at the end. There is one glaring plot break: you went into great detail describing Ellen's history with her first love Brett, ending with her hysterectomy, and then you also have her asking at the end about more children, without any indication that she might be talking about adoption.

I have enjoyed every version of this George Anderson story. After the original, did not think it could get any better. WRONG. Each version has it's own merits. But this one was great. Thought I read in the intro where you usually tend toward reconciliation in your story. I was anxious to see how you were going to accomplish that. But it became obvious that you were not headed in that direction. I personally would have liked to see Marc burned way more than he got. (My personal bias toward pro athletes). I still felt a bit sorry for Linda tho. Don't know why cause she got what she deserved. Thank you for a very enjoyable read.

I like your writing style. It didn't put my "February Sucks" mind to rest, but it was a well done story. You need to continue to write your skill is exceptional. There are many stories here on this site that need to be finished.

I'm on page three. Good story so far and I will rate it if I finish it. But. HOW COULD HE DRIVE HER HOME IN HIS CAR WITH 4 FLAT TIRES AND A BROKEN DRIVERS WINDOW LAST SEEN ON A FLAT BED TRUCK?

Seriously I understand that you are incorporating the original story but my brain just went Whaaaaaa?

What about the hysterectomy?

The truth is that sports stars don't pay. I live in a town where one of these sobs was drunk and slammed his oversized SUV into a car with a mother of three in it. She was killed instantly, he had a blood alcohol of 3x the state legal limit. All of this was public information. The sob was not even charged. Why? He was a name NFL player, and black. She was a no-name mom on the way home from work and was white. Nothing and I mean nothing happened to him. Slap on the wrist in cash to the family that was not even up to the amount of her life insurance policy. The city and county refused to do anything to him because they wanted to keep the team (they left a couple years later). The only reason the pampered pompous pussy is still alive is the father had three kids to worry about, and they were threatened anonymously.

I preferred the feburary suck'd by saddletramp. He got to the point. This story was long winded. A lot of talking without really going anywhere. What had my mind fuck'd up was when he said the hope of saving my marriage slipping away. Huh?! There was hope? After all that? He still wanted to continue being married to the cum dumpster? I just really don't get the 13 pages. When he was seeing her messages to marc, her telling marc she loved him, if that wasn't enough to dump the whore, her dumping him that night cause she was dickmatized should've done it. But NOTHING absolutely NOTHING can get this wimp husband to just get rid of the whore and move on. It was the wife continously choosing marc over him, even until the end. It was the whore still banging mark.. but here he is still communicating with her. The only communication they should've had should've been about their kids. anything else, goes through to their lawyer! The wife has shown him he came 2nd ( if that) she already said he didn't satisfy her sexually like marc. What was Jim waiting for? When the wife saw him with another woman and flipped out, accusing him of having an affair. Why even bother to answer her? What was the point of the 13 pages? It just seemed unnecessary. She didn't change her mind about mark, was still choosing him 1st, continued to lie throughout the whole entire story. 13 pages of him sleeping, having nightmares and reading her text messages to marc.. this story was boring as hell. Nothing I'd read again. The writer didn't give marc any balls.

Likes how you incorporated the original into yours and even with the italics wasn’t hard to read and follow.

5*.

Nice version, enjoyed the read, but no lawsuit against the team, not gathering evidence from the former girlfriend and cheerleaders. Mr. Football was not taken down enough and outed. Not much info given from the newspaper either.

When I read johnadp's version I thought it was the best of the sequels to GA's story. But, of course, I didn't know this one at that time.

This was brilliant!

Author, you sold yourself short with your introduction. Even without an editor, spelling and style were close to the best on this site. This couldn't be your first submission - you must have published before!

I admit it was a bit long (perhaps due to the passages you borrowed from the original), but I read it through from page 1 to 13 even if I knew a lot of it from the original and some of the other sequels. The tension and the emotions of the MC were there up to the very last sentence. Some of the original paragraphs even got a whole new meaning and (Sorry, GA!) were improved in this submission.

Please, author, keep sharing! I've put you on my "favourite author" list.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

She was unrepentant and lied consistently. Lying in the court was really stupid but consistent with her behavior.

We have a new writer. What a writer! There have been a few goes at this story but I believe this to be by far the best, and an improvement on the original.

Only one small criticism (there always has to be one): - what I call 'Winterfrog Syndrome'.

Winterfrog is a Scandinavian contributor whose stories always follow a similar theme. Man is betrayed by woman, wreaks revenge, instantly replaces her with younger and prettier model, and lives happily ever after.

The main character here suffered to a degree most people could not imagine. He is damaged. I can't believe he could transition to a new relationship, just like that.

It's not my story though, so good luck to him.

Looking forward to more stories from DTL.

Didn't Ellen have a Hysterectomy.

The thing that struck me about your version is how you decided to make the wife into a serial cheater, perhaps in love with the football player, rather than the original wife who wanted to win her husband back in GA's first story. You essentially altered the wife's character so she could be more easily and deeply burned. There was no option for the husband in this scenario.

Excellent effort. You show promise as a writer. The main thing that you didn't cover was both us and her family's reactions. Considering that their were kids involved, both of their parents should have been involved. Maybe even their siblings. I can see Linda's parents chewing her out and asking her what she was thinking (and Jim's parents treating her even worse). Just think Linda may have moved across the country, but her story would be on the internet and any search is going to bring it up. Can you imagine she dates a nice guy, they get serious, and then he does a background check on her just to be sure. The dinner conversation after that is not going to go well for her..."Linda, could you explain to me why you threw away your 10 year marriage for an affair with Mark LaValliere? Since you can't prove to me you'll be faithful, I really can't see myself ever trusting you and wasting time, money, and heartache checking up on you. Goodbye, and please lose my phone number and address." She disgraced herself publicly, and its going to be a very long time (if ever) she recovers.

Once again, the Loving Wives trope. The perfect wife who out of nowhere turns into a lying cheating and disrespectful slut. I'm sorry guys, but if there was an LW Hallmark channel they would be playing different versions of this story day in and out.

No person, man or woman, changes drastcailly in seconds and does what she did without cause. Something makes them do it. And in all these stories there is never an explanation. She was walking down the steet without a mask and she was infected by the whore19 airborn virus. But don't worry... the husband is the perfect man who is guaranteed to be vengeful and win in court. Talk about sci-fi and fantasy.

At the least the people guilty of ruining the husband and children's lives get what is coming to them. I believe the sinners committed perjury. They would have, in real life, had much more severe punishment in a real court. Perjury is much more of an offence than contempt. And wasn't the tearing up of the check recorded? What a low life his wife turned out to be in this edition. Much more like what kind of person someone this uncaring usually is.

I didn't like the original or any of its other versions by popular writers. they were too short or too crazy or too fomulaic. it was hard to kepp the suspension of disbelief. but this one was like real life. the heartfelt letter from linda and her contradictory actions seemed realistic. that's how real people behave in situations like this. I also liked the fact that jim didn't mop around whole weekend waiting for his wife to expain herself. almost all the characters were smart. the husband didn't get millions in settlement as in most stories on literotica. thank god for that. the only thing that seemed a bit too much is jim finding his next love too soon. most people would be gun shy for months. let alone start a whirlwind courtship and happily ever after. and if linda was really that caring of a mother, she wouldn't have left town that easily. her ending should've been similar to 'the bridge'. and a page where she is confronted with her hypocrisy in some way

I guess you chose to NOT allow public comments. Too bad.

This was one of the best renditions of the 'Feb sucks' rewrites. I gave you a solid 5 stars.

The only thing i can think of that I found incongruous was your last line asking about more children. You had already said she had a hysterectomy, so she was NOT asking to be allowed to get pregnant.

I also had a great deal of angst reading the original story. I am glad you wrote your version.

I noticed you gave Linda three chances to fail at the beginning. First, she left with asshole. Second, she failed to get dressed and leave with her husband when he appeared on Asshole's doorstep. Third, when he vandalized the car, she did not decide to go home. I thought that a significant point.

You did not follow up by telling her he knew she never shut down communications and only hinted about a physical meeting when he said he went to the house that one night. Knowing she screwed asshole again would have been something I could NOT have resisted pushing.

PLUS since that event came about after the team meeting that the morality part of their contracts were going to be enforced, it seems like Asshole got off. If nothing else the main character should have sued.

As much as I apprecate GeorgeAnderson's writing skills, his reconciliation story didn't ring true for me. As a BTB story, Saddletramp's version is the best. But yours, to me, felt the most realistic story. No RAAC, and neither a BTB story, just a sad conclusion of such betrayal. I like how you worked GA's Ellen character into your version, so that Jim and the kids have a happy ending.

This is an amazing story for a first submission. Clearly a 5 star effort. Keep writing!

Brilliant story. Thank you DT. Possibly too long..... so what. Linda was such a stupid, self indulged lady.

Please let this storyline die

For a 1st time author you did a great job. would have like to have seen asshole get just a little more comeuppance, But it was your story to tell and i thank you for it

I started reading these take offs from the original February Sucks by George Anderson https://www.literotica.com/s/february-sucks all of the spin offs would not be possible if it was not for GA original story. The original lays down such a solid foundation that I think most rate at least 4*, and of course https://www.literotica.com/s/february-sucks-big-time was up there with the top ones.

But that being said I'm moving this one to number one. The only mistake I found was at the end. Simple but on Pg.10 While Ellen told her sad story at the Madison she revealed to Jim that do to a bad abortion that became infected she had to have a Hysterectomy. At the very end Ellen asked Jim if he thought it was to soon to begin talking about more kids. That would leave only two possibilities, adoption or a surrogate mother? Not a big thing but it did catch my eye. It's just one mans opinion.

For a first effort it wasn't bad. A bit long. Can tell you put a lot of effort into it. Thanks for trying. No need to criticize the direction you chose. As another author always says ".......your universe....". A lot of your tale would mirror my feelings, divorce would be inevitable. Hope this won't be a one and done. Looking forward to another story(S) from you.

a better ending

Brilliant! 5*

At first, I groaned when I saw that this was yet another redo of "February Sucks"--which story I found rather preposterous, by the way. Evenmore to the point, I almost hit 'delete' when I saw that it runs on for 12 pages..and from a 1st time contributor, no less.

You managed to take that tough set of facts and turn me into a fan: careful proofing, no spelling or grammatical gaffs, and no pronoun errors--all with out an enditor, you said; retribution without bizarre BTB excess; average man tools rather than Navy Seal thnder from the skies; and a straightforward approach to story planning and execution that could serve as an exemplar for ALL Lit contributors.

Thank you. Please keep sharing, now that you've taken the leap into the off-kilter world of L/W.

Interesting attempt....but in the end, fell flat.

Well done! You did well for your first submition.

This story has been done to death, and while everyone else seems to love it, I cannot understand why. I guess it only appeals to cuckolds who enjoy being humiliated and disrespected. The woman constantly chooses her lover over her husband. Constantly tells her lover how much better he is than her husband, then acts stupid and amazed that her husband would be upset. If she was really such a completely selfish, moronic sociopath, he would have known about it much earlier than this.

No marriage could survive this amount of disrespect, from a man or a woman, and it doesn't take 13 pages to tell it.

The story should read, she leaves with Marc, he divorces her immediately, he gets to kick Marc in the nuts, she becomes a pariah due to her selfish, moronic behavior.

End of story.

Done

WOW ! ! As this is your first submission I cannot wait to see what else you come up with ! You have outdone (by a WIDE margin) any other first submission on this site . Come on with them , and Don't be afraid to branch out to other categories . Again , GOOD STORY !

@Gamblinluck, "no public comments?" What do you think you just made? Or did you mean Anonymous comments?

Really enjoyed the story. BUT, in the last sentence of the story, Ellen asks for more children, after you've told us she had a hysterectomy.

This thing has now been worked to death! By the way if Ellen had a hysterectomy on page 9 of your tale the question about more children on the final page is great example of backchecking your details and being consistent with your characters. Still, for your first post it is pretty good.