All Comments on 'January Sucks'

I think it’s fair too say that you really owned this story, regardless.

Now that all of the “in the knows” have had their say, l would like to see you post again. Many because l like stories that are well thought through, well done!

Thanks again hope to read more from you soon.

I really can't even say that I am not a little tired of this original story, I wish I could. What you have written here is not only the best version of this story, it very well could be some of the best writing I have read on this site. This is definitely a 5 star story and for a first time contributor that is amazing! Please keep writing I think you are an amazing writer and would be a great asset to any website. Thank you for a great piece of work and a great hour of reading.

Great first time effort, it did get a little confusing with Linda I did not think her character had good substance. Ending was a little rushed but overall entertaining.

A great improvement in the story. Well rounded characters, believable scenarios, and a fitting ending. No BTB, no "kill the asshole," but enough pain to balance the scales. One minor quibble: When Ellen told her story of being with her own personal asswipe she also told of a botched abortion which, among other things, led to a hysterectomy.

With that she would be infertile, though if the ovaries were spared it would conceivably be possible to have a hosted invitro artificial insemination and a baby.

Largely, though not entirely, to BuzzCzar:

It was not my intention to impugn “the great unwashed,” as you put it. If you thought that my remarks unfairly deprecated those making comments, you obviously haven’t read their comments – not just of my story, but of virtually any writer who attempts to raise the level of thought here in the “Loving Wives” genre.

About my having favorite mathematicians, you could easily determine the veracity of my comment merely by knowing what I do for a living. In case that wasn’t just a “dig” and you’re actually curious, my “Top 5” (really, as you’ll see, “Top 6”) are:

1. Benoit Mandelbrot – “Father of Fractal Geometry”;

2. Vilfredo Pareto – “Law of Unequal Distribution”;

3. Blaise Pascal – “Father of Probability”;

4. Thomas Bayes – “Bayes Theorem of Inverse Probability”; and,

5. (Tie) James Simons – “Renaissance Technologies”, Edward Thorpe – “Beat the Dealer”.

Brilliant men, all.

Finally, I want to defend GeorgeAnderson a bit and, hopefully in the process, provide an explanation to some of the other readers who had a problem with my treatment of Linda, the story’s length, the absence of confrontation, and the way I wrapped the story up.

As I stated, I am a first-time writer, but I LOVE reading the works of many of the contributors to the LW section – including several who posted rather uncomplimentary comments about my story!

In my email to GeorgeAnderson requesting permission to excerpt his story I explained, “I believe that true art of any kind should move the viewer (or, in this case, the reader). And… your story has done that to me - and apparently many others, judging by both the comments it has received as well as the number of authors it has moved to produce their own variations.”

I think no other defense of his work is required. He moved me. He moved us. We are all better for it.

While I did say that I found GA’s characters compelling, I did not say that I found his rationalization of them persuasive. As I read the original story, I found Linda to be very self-oriented throughout, nor did I find that she cared much for Jim’s feelings (obvious since, even before “the Event”, she failed to respond positively to any of his enteritis). While that doesn’t make her a bad person, I thought it revealed why she felt that it was okay to have her evening with Marc. It was in an attempt to remain faithful to this that I was motivated to write that into each of her later interactions with both Jim and Marc.

I knew that the story would be longer than most readers would tolerate and originally considered breaking it up into two or three installments. My reasons for not doing this were simple.

First, I promised GA that I would stay close to his original story at the beginning to preserve his setup, and this would have meant that nearly all of the initial installment would simply be a reprise of GA’s original story. Not very compelling reading, I reasoned.

Second, in an attempt to remain faithful to the characters, I felt that I needed to “bend” the arc of the narrative to allow for the ambivalence Linda obviously felt in the original. Then, by having her continue to act in her self-interest (whether dealing with Jim or Marc), she would ultimately find herself caught between them both in the courtroom and, in my opinion, doom herself. That is a lot of distance to travel in a single short story.

Finally, given the nature of one of my principle businesses and as might be apparent from my story, I have spent a great deal of time in courtrooms of all kinds, usually on behalf of clients and fortunately rarely as a litigant myself. I have found that legal outcomes distribute along a normal distribution – you might think of this as the Bell Curve that teachers use to grade students where there are very few “A’s” and “F’s”, more “B’s” and “D’s”, but with the majority of all outcomes as “C’s”. Except rarely, it is only in the universe of Literotica LW stories that the offended party finds pure vindication – and I tried to write my ending that way. Jim says that he wants to try and get past Linda’s actions, gives her plenty of opportunities to choose him over Marc, but in the end finds that she can’t overcome her lack of empathy and self-centeredness. That is real life.

Once the climactic scene ran its course, it didn’t seem necessary to spend much time with the mechanics of how things played out. Even while writing it, I recognized that this ending would prove insufficient for the BTB crowd and over-the-top for the RAAC folks, but I felt that it was more realistic and truer to the characters. Honestly, can you imagine Jim’s character from GA’s original story going “SEAL Team 6” on Linda?

I apologize if my occasional re-entry into the sacred “Comments Section” puts you off. I suppose that as a writing neophyte I have a hard time not explaining myself when I think I have been misunderstood. Some might argue that I should spend more quality time on a psychoanalyst's couch instead of trying to find that solace here. You'd probably be right.

Again, thank you all for voting and commenting. You have rendered all the time spent writing worthwhile.

Very well written and amazing work for a first time author. Absolutely top rate writing a solid 5 stars.

Well written, but the grand finale being a court case about damaging the guy's car was a bit anticlimactic. I still think he could have cut his losses earlier, imagining him playing a semi-considerate husband after her actions and the continued disrespect is irksome.

I have a really hard time with the premise, that Linda will now be forever faithful, after her experience. I believe that is why there are so many rewrites of this story. I liked that so much of the original story was kept intact. Well done!

The closing line regarding "more kids" was awkward given that Ellen had a hysterectomy following a perforated uterus. While "more kids" was ambiguous and does not rule out adoption, it was a bit of a clinker.

@johnadp, not so sure living in California is a comeuppance.

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this. Well developed, rounded, realistic characters that seemed true to GA's original story. The length didn't bother me and made character development possible.

Helluva story

Fantastic story best I've read of February Sucks endings so far.

But.

The ending felt incredibly rushed did you get to the court scene and decide you'd had enough?

Zero description of how she felt, was she even upset by not seeing her children anymore after saying earlier they were so important!?

'More kids' ? Seriously? She's had a hysterectomy for gods sake. Completely ruined any continuity just because you wanted to end on a high.

What a shame.

Wow this was fantastic especially for your first writing. One of the better versions, something about a romance element in a divorce just agrees with me. Loved the way you weave in the original's writing, it was creative. There weren't many mistakes even without an editor.

Kudos to GeorgeAnderson for writing such a fantastic setup that writers can spin off it.

I think the ending was a bit short, it could've been more. The bigger picture was good, Jim found Ellen and they moved on together as a family but the finer details got missed out like their divorce, the conversation over custody, Linda maybe fighting the divorce, Linda's relationship with the family, Linda's remorse, why Linda did not go with Marc, Linda's reaction seeing Jim with Ellen. Not necessarily scorched earth but at least some emotional toll on Linda would've been interesting rather than shipped away to California.

Good well written story. I stayed up way to late to finish. I guess you could complain about length but I looked after page 3 and knew what I was getting into. I just didn’t want to stop. I am especially glad the way it ended as it should. No going back the marriage was toast and as was stated was toast after she didn’t leave to go home with him at LaValliere’s house. A better take than the original.

Please do keep writing and I will keep reading.

... but overall this is probably the best of the sequels this very interesting story has inspired. I rather liked how you had Jim keep his cards close to his vest, knowing that Linda clearly lied to him and betrayed him further with Marc, and how he managed to turn from being humiliated into taking charge of how the rest of his story would unfold. The last line is, of course, unforgivably careless, given that you've established that Ellen had a hysterectomy, but that honestly felt like a whole bunch of overkill anyway, and could be cleaned up with an edit.

Loved it. Finally an ending I liked. I might have gone for the original if he had fucked the hooker and then left her but the wife in the original story was just cruel.

Except for the obviously rushed ending and the hysterectomy mistake, this was the best reduxe, along with Saddletramps, of all of them so far. My only complaint is that once started, I couldn't stop reading it until I finished it at 1:30 in the morning...5 stars. Keep writing please.

While I enjoyed GA's original tale, I found this version to be truer in representing consistent and believable characters and actions. For example, Jim getting hit with the Martian Slut Ray was more outlandish than even Linda's fall. Also, is it possible the group of "friends" could say, "Whatever you might think, we're your friends, and we want what's best for you"? while they proceeded to assist and accept the original betrayal. DTL nails it here with the concept of Linda having no empathy and therefore not understanding Jim's pain. DTL, a marvelous first out of the gate story! Thanks.

Keep 'em comin'.

Another good version of this compelling tale.

Did you even add anything ? Just more useless scenes describing someone who can’t make a decision.

This is by far the best alt ending to February Sucks so far. It is nearly as good as the original save a few mistakes. It is hard to believe that this is a first time author. This is a five star story. Don’t let the trolls in the Loving Wives section of this website deter you. There are plenty of us who are supportive. Please keep writing.

Hard to believe that this was a first time submission. Yes even though the premise of the story was someone else's, you certainly made it your own. Please keep writing. I look forward to reading many more of your works. Thank You.

I really liked this version. It always seemed to me that if a wife did what the wife in this story did, that it was unlikely it was one and done. In this story it was not. Excellent take on a powerfull story. *****

Thank you.

There were a few technical guffaws, such as not explaining how Ellen planned to have more kids after having a hysterectomy and the name of the club changing a couple of times from "Morrison's" to "Madison's", but all in all, a good first shot.

Since George Anderson's first version, I have been questioning why Jim never targeted the morality clause that virtually every professional athlete has in both their contract as a player, as well as any endorsement deals. While Jim didn't target this himself, his actions did bring the morality clauses to light for once.

Personally, I liked the way that you intertwined the original story in italics with your own writing throughout. It made it much easier to recall the original while enjoying your variations and additions.

Make your stories as long as you need to tell the tale the way that you want it told.

for a story that got 4- score, this could be a new record. LOVE slap hapy papy #9

She cheated and disrespected you.lost your trust

And love?!

Take hate treated like that while in love.

jtwheels

I gave 5 stars but still have 2 issues. One was Ellen's hysterectomy and how she could have more kids and second was after 13 pages the wife just went away. Why wasn't she confronted with her lies and her meetings with the scumbag? We had all the lead up and all the calls, texts and video but it was never brought up with her. I think a final meeting when he showed her all the evidence of her lies and her reaction was needed. Did she care after 10 years of what had been described as a wonderful marriage? I'm sure having written 13 pages this could have been Included.

It was good, and I enjoyed it...but. First off, it was 13 pages. And for my money that’s way too much “blah, blah, blah”, and not nearly enough “Shock and Awe”. Sorry about the bad rhyme but that’s pretty much what I thought of it. Jim himself said in the story he considered himself to be a man of action, but most of his action in the story was talking and thinking. Way too much talking and thinking for me. And what the heck was with all the italics so much? That was just downright annoying. I’d give this story 3 stars, 2 for the story and 1 more just for the effort.

Great story. And congrats on a fine, fine, debut. Please keep writing.

I'd prefer a tad shorter. Less court appearance and more about how Linda deals with the aftermath of being served. Trying to explain her deceit and lies to Jim. Plus the asshole gets some severe payback. But hey that is just me... and author has the right to decide how the story goes. Please consider writing more of the main characters lives.. 5 plus well deserved.

Nice job and so much better and representative of storytelling than the original.

I have read most of the follow-ups and this, along with 'Saddletramp's is so much better than the source of this tale. Thank You 5*****

Women can say they love you every day for your entire marriage and be lying, and are just waiting for the spark they need. Clearly Linda was sick as well as stupid. the losers were the kids and the state of California. But they are used to losing.

Glad to read that time wounds all heels.

I think I have read all the versions of this story so far. This is among the best. Except for the last line...Ellen had already told Jim she can't have kids. So she wouldn't be asking if he was ready for more kids.

@Anon Ellen had already told Jim she can't have kids. So she wouldn't be asking if he was ready for more kids.

There are options; adoption or a surrogate womb are 2 possibilities.

Some readers took exception to the last sentence of the story. Ellen was correct in asking about " having" more children, probably through adoption. "Making" children is through the old fashion way which unfortunately she can no longer do.

Well I'll be damned. You took a cheating wife story and turned it into a love story, more worthy of the ROMANCE section than LOVING WIVES. That was a shock. Not much BTB and I was dreading the RAAC I thought was coming. No real revenge and the ex wife leaving town seemed a non sequitur. I would have figured she would go to Salt Lake City, or live with her folks. But I am being overly picky. Four stars for the effort and surprise.

Finally, someone got it right. Keep writing.

Finally, someone got it right. Keep writing.43QDCx

Alternate versions to GA's original story and the fact that it's DTL's first posted story is in itself extraordinary. For anyone who thought it was too long or Asshole didn't suffer enough I'd recommend Just Plain Bob's short little flash story entitled 'February Sucks - One More Time'. It's a bit radical but I can sympathize with Jim's reaction and I suspect others will also. *****'s to both. Signed: BTW

JPB turned off voting on his version of justice which means unfortunately we can't see the shit storm I would expect it to generate. Damn, that would have been sweet to follow. Signed: BTW

You know what I find amusing? The fact that the original story, one that so many writers and others here deemed it a masterpiece. Is actually one of the lowest rated versions of this story. This version is as about as realistic in the outcome as it gets. Jim has testicular fortitude, Linda is a low life slut. Justice was served.

I think you missed my sarcastic comment. I live in California, and love it. I was saying Linda lost out on her husband and kids, but now gets to live in Cali. So, she ended up better off than before.

Good writers are welcome, just ignore the stupid TROLLS. Thank you for your spin.

Thanks.

This is a lengthy and complicated review (about 900 words), so I apologize up front. I didn’t like this story, on balance, but that requires some explanation.

I didn't care for GeorgeAnderson's original story either, and I've already said so in my review of that piece. My issue — then and now — was with the premise that anchored the entire narrative: the idea that Linda would disregard her marriage and family and the very person she was purported to be on a mere whim — spontaneously, publicly, brazenly and shamelessly — with no plausible explanation. Then not only would she arrive home and GLOAT about it, but she would actually seem to assume that Jim would accept her explanation, after which their relationship would carry on as it always had. This concept was utterly preposterous, and it made the rest of the story (which was just getting started, really) a pointless exercise.

I understand that spouses have affairs, but I also understand that there are underlying reasons for them, especially among women. More important, I understand that affairs don't play out as described in "February Sucks" and almost all of its alternate renditions. The only way I would have indulged the original storyline would have been if GeorgeAnderson had eventually revealed an unforeseen backstory — that there was more to Linda’s behavior than we had initially thought, something that had portended what Jim (and their eight supposed friends) witnessed at the dance club. But did that happen? Not even close.

I'm not the only one who recognized this, and I know of at least two alternate versions that addressed the core flaw of the original. In "February Sucks the Continuation" by MattblackUK, then in "February Sucks — Linda's Choice" (four parts) by Kalimaxos, those authors revealed that Linda and Marc already knew one another well before the events at the dance club — in fact, they had already initiated affairs. In their versions, the dance-club incident was a side show for public consumption (albeit for different reasons and with different results). The foundations of those stories actually MADE SENSE.

So then we have "January Sucks." It actually doubles down on the original, so we're back to the same question: WHY on earth is Linda behaving this way? Dear God, why can't the author try to EXPLAIN that? Instead, in this version, Linda comes across as an irrational psycho. To whit ...

The story reuses the "post-Ellen" letter that Linda leaves for Jim that says, among other things, "I am sorry, so very sorry, for everything I did with Marc ... I ruined our special night ... and I am sorry that I shared with him what I always intended should be yours alone. I couldn't say that before, because I wasn't really sorry, as I think you know... I wish with all my heart I had been stronger, and I had not let him take me. Any part of me."

Why reuse this letter at all, especially where it's placed? In the original, Linda's "come-to-Jesus" letter was near the end of the story, and it marked her realization of the true gravity of her conduct. But in this story, that letter marked nothing of the kind, which makes zero sense. How do we know this? Here's how ...

'Cause just one night before, Linda had been screwing Marc in her own house! Then, the next night — after Jim had read the letter — Linda was on the phone with Dee pondering both repairing her marriage AND future hook-ups with Marc. What sense does that make?

Finally, that same night, Linda's on the phone telling Marc (among other things) that he's "a better man than Jim in almost every way" and that she's in love with him. Really? She hardly knows Marc! And this is juxtaposed with the letter where she poured her heart out to Jim the very same day? What?!

I mean, I understand duplicity, but REVEAL to us what Linda's really up to? Instead, we're just left befuddled.

I'd say this story went off the rails, but since it robotically followed the original premise, it was never actually on any rails. And why keep teasing about the sex video in the house but never tell us what it actually showed? This story was about 50,000 words, but the video somehow remained a secret.

Finally, there's hardly any resolution. So Linda gets served with divorce papers, and Jim eventually marries Ellen (who had been a paid escort in the original). Linda had made a mockery of her marriage, so divorce was hardly a plot twist. And Ellen was an undeveloped character in whom we had no emotional investment, so Jim "finding happiness" with her was hardly satisfying. (Yes, I understand that Jim never would have met Ellen had it not been for Linda's antics, but the irony still lacks genuine power.)

And why didn't Linda find a new life of luxury with Marc? Remember, they "belonged together"? "Everyone could see that" in just a few minutes. So what happened? What probably happened is that Marc was a narcissistic womanizer who was screwing several other women while he was wooing Linda. But is that explained to us? Again, nothing.

"January Sucks" was a lot of work, I appreciate that, and it was actually an impressive first effort (too much effort, actually, 'cause the pace desperately needed to be tightened up). So for that reason I gave it three respectable stars. But the flaws in the storyline were somehow worse than in the original.

I thoroughly enjoyed this effort but it seems like a different set of characters because much more depth is provided for them. So it seems more like a new set of characters, but still very absorbing to read about. I found it quite credible, although the tech stuff seems a bit over the top. However I very much enjoyed Jim's ability to take the offence to Marc. I don't enjoy a story when the main character accepts getting made a wimp. Although Linda here was a much more damaged individual I think brain explosions happen so she became what she became. The character personalities seem to have been changed for this story so it seems really a new story about new characters but still very credible and very satisfying to read.

A good simp finally gets his balls back story. Kind of read like A reddit infidelity story where they guy is defecated on the whole time but isn't sure if his love can get them through it.

Nice writing and a believable extension of the original conceit. I especially liked the descent of Linda and Jim's discovery of her lack of empathy.

I thought this was great addition to the storyline and amazing writing. Thanks for sharing your hard work with us on Lit.

Oh, It's fiction M. fiction. seriously...? Ughh!

x

This is the best version I've read so far

1 for another version of a horrible story

Very very good.

Although this was basically a rewrite it was very good. I have read the alternative endings to a lot of "February Sucks" in that vein this is likely the best.

Linda appears to have succumbed to Marc’s toxic mind control. If this rendition of the original were to continue, the reader would want to see Linda undergo a serious psychiatric intervention. Linda professes love & devotion to Jim while loving & lusting for Marc. She lies to support Marc at Jim’s trial thus attempting to throw Jim under the bus. She has clearly lost her sense-of-self.

Linda, basically presumed everything was going to be OK. Stupid bitch saw the check Jim put on the damaged car. She should have been thrown in jail for lying and perjury. Both she and Asshole should have been dealt extremely severe punishment that night, physical punishment not being out of the question. At that moment, she proved herself a slut, and I don't buy this "under his spell" garbage. They are both POS, as dictated by the phone/text calls of loving Marc, after begging Jim to take her back

Just a thought, if Ellen wants more children, have POS, slut Linda be a surrogate mother. That way, she's at least good for a little something!

This is by far the best version of February Sucks. One thing I believe is missing is to see how Linda's reaction to Jim and Ellen Wedding and what her emotion when she find out that her kids call Ellen mom :-).. This story could be extended for 1-3 pages.

Linda maybe was in love with Jim, but if you recall she told Marc that Jim was a good Father etc.. With her deceit about no feeling for Marc was bullshit. Jim was only a safety net.

Dee is a woman without any moral compass and is disgraceful to the human race. She and Linda belong together. Like that old saying "birds of a feather flocks together."

Good story, but too long-winded, so 4 stars for me.

Just about 10 pages more verbose than it needs to be. You must love to gear yourself talk.

That was the best ending yet. Thank you. I for sure enjoyed the media part and the description of the working of the radio station and it's penetration into the community.

there really was only about 2 pages worth reading. This story really sucks.

Nicely done. Kinda long but very readable so that's okay in my book. You avoided most of the standard LW cliches and dealt realistically with the rest. Strong work from a first timer. Five from me. Please write more.

please write more stories.

So many versions - none was really good. Original story was good, except for the ending. But wife in original story was just dumb, in your version you turned her into pure evil, real two-face

Another good ending.

Would have like to see it see what kind of life Linda has in California. Does she visit the kids? What was her response to Jim and Ellen's marriage and her kids calling Ellen, mom. Does Linda ever confess about everything and truly say sorry and repentant about her transgressions? What ever happen to Dee and the rest of the cretin? Do they still maintain maintain contact with Linda or have a tenuous friendship with Jim?

Although it is the author choice of title January sucks, I wonder why he did not use the February suck title?

These questions I feel would complete the story (that is my humble opinion)

Thanks for sharing your great writing and story with us on Lit.

Hopefully you will take this for the understatement it is and hope you will write again and more, much more.

x

Amazing story!

Would have loved some btb for Linda for having deceiving Jim multiple times.

5 stars from me

Too long and the lovers deserved scorched earth style revenge

"No, it would take both of us working together to raise that pair. I had to figure out some way to make it happen. But how?"

So, he was going to let the slut get away with it. Thus, without the over-the-top continuing betrayal of Jim by Linda, Jim was going to be the standard, weak, needy, cucking, unprincipled, LW husband character. This is absurd. No remotely normal man would do anything except kick Linda to the curb. Both of them could still raise the children, but it would be under altered circumstances. In that event, at least the children would learn that a betrayal of a spouse has dire consequences, which wouldn't be the case if Linda got to have her cake and eat it , too.

If this weren't a follow on to the GA story I would give it a 1. But, given that the GA story was an abortion regarding character development and plotting, this author has done about as well as anyone can to create an alternate version. It's a failure, but the original story is an unfixable sow's ear. I did think the judge's comment regarding the Biblical penalty for perjury was a bright spot in the tale. It's too bad that perjury laws are so seldom enforced. The Biblical penalty would be an improvement over current law.

Keep writing. I'm sure you can do better than GA's February trainwreck if you develop your own story.

my favorite of the 10 or so February Sucks that I have read. I would have liked to see Jim have confronted her about her half hearted repentance, and to rub assholes xfiancee in her face too.

EXCELLENT 5 STAR STORY! I WAS UNDER THE IMPRESSION, EARLIER IN THE STORY DUE TO A FULL HYSTERECTOMY, ELLEN WAS UNABLE TO CARRY CHILDREN.

Great February story!!! I thought Ellen had a partial hysterotomy??

he took long time to divorce her, he got every thigs, phone calls, videos, so he should divorced her long time ago

Re-read this today. Great job blending the original and your variation

Five stars for being the best first time attempt I have read. There are so many "February Sucks" sequels, it is difficult to be sure I have read them all, but this is certainly among the best. Congratulations on a job well done, especially in this minefield of a category.

You may get an influx of comments as another writer is continuing your tale and referenced yours. I thought I had read it already, but I can't find where I commented, so apparently not. I'll try to avoid repeating previous commenters diatribes and just say the story was well done overall. Was it perfect - No. There were some plot "glitches" that detracted from its overall effect on the reader, but you did an admirable job weaving a fairly complex story with a few plot lines into a cohesive piece. The narrative flowed well and was an easy read. Of all the versions of GA's flawed original, your s is among the best. There are a few other ones that were perfect in that they went back and "fixed" the "Linda"character George presented and revealed her flaws earlier in the time line. Don't be discouraged and keep working on your craft - this genre is the toughest in Literotica to appease... 5*

I have just one complaint and I'm sure it was mentioned in one or more of the 278 comments, Football Season ends in December in the US. The playoff's slip into January with the Super Bowl in February.

Reading again before reading the latest follow on to this follow on. I stand by my original comments. No revenge, no BTB, just a too mellow, well written story.

Best ending YET!

.

Narcissists and sociopaths have NO empathy, sympathy or guilt. OP and the original writer of this sage thoughtfully included examples of Linda's disjointed mental processes and skewed "logic". While people like this are often mutually attracted, they come together like the components of a nuclear pile, and we all know how that ends. The BEST payback would for La Valiere and Linda to move in together. Would serve 'em BOTH right!

.

Great job, well-told and you revealed the story with a good pacing, the action rising and falling.

I agree with Legio: This was the best ending out of all submitted. Almost made the original story readable. Almost.

Thanks for posting. 5 stars.

chur m8 awsum story

⭐⭐⭐⭐

As others have said, this, in my opinion, is the BEST of all the "Sucks" stories.

@sbrooks103x

@Gamblinluck, "no public comments?" What do you think you just made? Or did you mean Anonymous comments?

It is obvious that anonymous comments are allowed also. So what did you mean?

@Anonymous

"So tired of these stories"..."The story should read, she leaves with Marc, he divorces her immediately, he gets to kick Marc in the nuts, she becomes a pariah due to her selfish, moronic behavior.

End of story." You seem to be quite simple minded, that would have been a little short.

@johnadp

I didn't miss anything. Who would want to live in California?

The writer did a masterful job of having the good guy win in the end despite keeping him wimpy enough to be consistent with the story as originally written. Well done.

The last line of this 'fic, Ellen asks, "Do you think it's too soon to begin talking about more kids?". However, did she not say that she had a hysterectomy? Of course, she may have been referring to adoption, but the line does not seem to infer that.

Other than that, a fine entry in the 'February Sucks' rewrites.

Thank-you for the good read.

Pasqual

tralan69er is treating comments section like social media. His comments focus more on other people's comments than the story itself.

Why don't you post your own detailed thoughts on the story first, rather than going on a nitpicking apologetic comment spree.

And he always targets sbrooks103x. Stalker?

I think this BS has expanded beyond belief. First, most of women do not behave like this, this is more like a nightmare dream. But even so, I don't understand why so many are trying to write the end of the story? Can't you write your own plot?

Here is my end of story:

Everything the same as here but in addition to lug wrench I would have a gun, chainsaw, and machette. The story would end on the third page.

But onto the story. It is really way too long and while it is somewhat skillfully written there are some sloppy character developments.

First, how is Ellen that had hysterectomy going to have more kids? Angelina Jolie style?

Why would Marc Lavalier want to continue his contacts with a married woman (with 2 kids) after he has been exposed in the media? More importantly, wouldn't he be required to team's quarantine the night before the game rather than hitching with that woman in her home? What would he gain if that woman would move in with him???

Why would Mr Lewis keep on delaying reviewing surveillance while accepting drinks and food from a person that is clearly into nefarious activity behind his back, after listening threats directed at him from Lavalier, his lawyer warning, and repeated threats even from his wife. Would such a clever man be at least a little bit concerned what could happen to his physical safety?

Obviously the "Linda" character is made completely absurd in original story so any type of development in her case is excused with one tiny detail - after hubby revealed that he witnessed her with Lavalier in their own home, she is still trying to hang on to marriage, how many times you need to burn that bridge down before you cannot use it?

The character entrance of Ellen does not make much sense, it is almost like a random rebound for the main character. Just like in many other foolish BTB stories.

Again, this is too long for what it is.

I will acknowledge an obviously very skilled writer. There were a lot of conflicting paths though and it seemed like an attempt to blend multiple story paths into one.

For example how could she fuck the guy in their own house and then write a letter pouring he love for the husband ?

What exactly was Marc Lavaliere served in the court by the divorce lawyer Diane? Of course Linda was served the divorce papers, but what was Marc served?

WOW! All wrapped up with a beautiful bow.

@Anonymousabout 1 month ago

"tralan69er is treating comments section....."

Sorry, I don't reply to anymouse comments.

Good story

Ellen is asking about more kids. Earlier in the story, there was mention of a bad abortion that left her infertile.

Perfect. By far the best so far for a continuation of this great story.

Although it was long and the title makes it hard to find, this was by far the best version of this story.