All Comments on 'Jenny's Punishment'

Good basic story. Liked the aftercare. Didn't care for the stalkerish waiting in her room. Can't punish some one who had just died of a heart attack. ;)

Try to vary the construction of your sentences more. Too many "I did this" and "I did that." Read some Hall of Fame stories (any category) that are first person and study the ways they put together sentences. Try to use words to describe action. Using repeated smacks (or wacks or pops, ect...) is too simplistic and is unable to convey the emotion of what is happening. A few smacks, okay, then tells us about how long it goes on or seems to go on. Concentrate on the results-physical and emotional responses of those involved. Even from his pov you can give us much more about her responses. You gave us the obvious ones but more subtle observations would tell us more about her reactions and then his reactions to hers-- feel the spiral building up that way?

This is not necessary to the story, and probably intentional, but what had she done to deserve this correction? Some readers need/want to know in order to buy in to the premise. If ya sticking ya ass out for a spankin' ya want to why... . ;D

I liked it overall, however we did jump from Jenny to Katie, and back again!

Please read it before you post it.

I agree with the other comment about repeated use of the word smack, sorry smak! Try and describe everything. I'm a very nosy reader and love description.

I'm looking forward to part 2. Keep writing :)

Writing a story takes a lot of effort, rewriting and editing. So, for that, I give you credit. The BDSM stories that get me turned on are the ones where I can put myself in the place of the Dom and enjoy USING the girl for my pleasure. Inflicting pain is a power trip and I like the stories that luxuriate in that aspect, setting the scene to watch her curvy body writhe sensuously under the whip. Then I use HER body...her mouth after the punishment is over. Why? Because it got me so excited inflicting the pain (exercising my power over her) that I needed to USE her to exact the pleasure only a freshly whipped female body can provide.