All Comments on 'Kayla and The Coach'

"I offered to drive her back home. Since it was so hot out that day." That would be one valid sentence, if you removed the first period, and got rid of the capital 'S' but as you wrote, it's a sentence, and a sentence fragment.

When you put paragraph breaks between two lines of dialogue from the same character, it makes the reader think the other character is talking at that point, becoming difficult to follow and breaking immersion.

all sweet and innocent, likable, then suddenly, she's a cum dumpster at the end. Blech.