Kelly Does Cabo

"Futbolista!" He said. "He almost made the national team."

Kelly sighed deeply. Wes hadn't learned a damn thing. In fact it seemed he was moving backwards and not forwards in gaining "awareness." She did think for a second that at least he was becoming more true to his youthful nature but all the while acting like an idiot erased the plus points she was so desperately trying to give him.

"That can be a brutal journey for anyone." She thought to herself. "Oh, well, it's out of my hands. Let go God."

At that moment the soldier caught up to him and instead of jumping on him like a normal man might he laid back in a sort of slide tackle from behind and hit him hard in the legs. It would've been a red card in any decently refereed game, a heavy red card with a possible longer than usual suspension. Wes was caught off guard and stunned by the brutality of the attack. He wondered in his mind if his leg was broken. He reeled in pain and shock. The soldier jumped up, drew a knife and then kneeled over Wes holding the blade to his neck.

"Que honda way, pendejo? Porque sales???" The soldier shouted in his face.

Wes didn't understand a word of it. His shin bone was throbbing, he wondered if it was bleeding.

"You son of a bitch!! Why'd you do that to me? First the gun, then a terrible kick tackle. Just for pissing on the beach, man. I'm a human being goddamnit!"

Wes had slurred every word. He started to cry. The soldier looked at him more softly as if beginning to have compassion for this idiot gringo. As his heart began to feel for him Wes turned violently and karate chopped him in the chest. The soldier dropped his knife. Wes landed a good shot. It knocked the wind out of the futbolista soldier. Before Wes could revel in the glory of his move he felt immense pressure on the back of his head as his face was pushed deep into the golden sand. He couldn't breathe. Wes was surprised at how the man had recovered so quickly. It made no sense. The soldier remained steadfast, pissed about the karate chop, and wouldn't let his face up from the beach no matter how hard Wes tried to raise his head. The sand was hot. Wes struggled to get a breath. Once Kelly saw what was happening she came running as fast as she could. She had been a high school track star and to this day still holds the high jump record for her school. Once at full stride she leapt into the air, turning sideways as she did, and clothes lined the unknowing soldier effectively knocking him off of Wes. Her move had knocked the futbolista Federale out and bloodied his nose.

Wes raised his head and immediately inhaled a huge breath of half air and half sand. He choked and gagged, his sweaty armpits were covered in golden grit as was his face. He lied on his back crying and gasping. The other soldier had run over as soon as Kelly bolted. He pointed his rifle at both of them. He had his amigo's gun strapped to his back.

"Pendejo!" He blurted to Wes. "Get on your rodillas!! Put your manos behind your back. You are going to el carcero!"

The only part Wes understood was the section about his manos. Wes was in surrender mode. He put his hands behind his back. The hot sand had been too much for him. It scared the living daylights out of him to have not been able to breathe for as long as he was down. He thought he was going to die. He had no more fight in him. He had hoped Kelly saw his one good karate chop, but he wasn't sure. Wes now felt he had sunk to the lowest point in his life. Everything was fucked. Everything except Kelly but now what would she think? For all he knew he was going off to a Mexican prison for the rest of his life. How could this have happened. He thought back.

"Didn't we just get here yesterday?" He mused. "How could all of this happened in that short span of time. What the fuck is going on?"

He didn't have much time to wonder before he felt the handcuffs go on. The soldier picked Wes up roughly from the beach. By this time a small crowd of tourists had gathered around the debacle Wes had created and had begun taking pictures and possibly videos. Wes could hear a teenage girl bragging that she caught the whole scene with her new fangled camera and would be posting it on her Myspace page. He sulked. The other soldier had come back to consciousness and was wiping his bloody nose off on his sleeve. He thought Wes had caused the wound, he couldn't remember how, but he wanted revenge. He walked up to Wes and jammed his knee into his crotch. Wes squealed like a pig.

"You dirty bastard!!" He yelled. "What kind of pussy pulls a coward move like that? Fuck you you fucking moron!!!!"

Wes curled up in pain while still standing. It felt like both his testicles were in his stomach. Kelly tried to console him.

"Oh, Wes!! I'm so sorry. I can't believe this!! Are you okay?? Oh, no Wes. I'm so sorry, baby!"

The soldiers both looked at Kelly. She didn't mean to draw attention back to herself. The one soldier smirked as he remembered her flying leap kick. His partner didn't even realize it was she who knocked him out. The smirking soldier then said,

"Señorita, you go! Sale! Leave! You are too pretty for el carcero. Maybe it's mejor that this pinche payaso borracho is away from your life. Say goodbye!" The soldier said as he and his companero grabbed Wes and dragged him past the growing crowd of gawking tourists and curious locals.

"I love you, Kelly!" Wes howled. He was wailing like a madman. Tears streamed down his face carving lines in the golden sand that still covered it revealing a beet red color.

"Jesus Christ!" Kelly thought. "I've never seen a man's face so red. They must've burned it pushing it into the sand. Those tears must sting. I can't believe what just happened."

In some ways Kelly felt that Wes had kind of been a martyr of sorts. There had to be some honor in it. He was trying so hard to become the man he thought Kelly wanted but now he looked like a modern golfer Jesus being dragged through Jerusalem by Roman soldiers. The crowd parted as the trio trudged through, Wes howling the whole time. Some of the local bystanders threw Chiclets and jumping beans at him as they passed. They said foul sounding words that Wes couldn't understand but could feel. It wasn't everyday they got to form a gauntlet for a honky who had broken the rules, the etiquette of their culture. For many of them it was payback time for having to endure the yearlong throngs of Americans passing through their humble little desert town that now more resembled a decrepit Las Vegas strip. On this day Wes was the sacrificial lamb. How could he have slipped so far? He was, at this moment, the laughing stock of Cabo San Lucas. By morning his face would be known across the whole town. Events like this were a rarity. Demonstrations of sheer madness were frowned upon. Wes had crossed a line that couldn't be repaired. He would be shunned everywhere he went. That is if he would be lucky enough to get out of jail.

After Wes' grim departure Kelly was at a loss for what to do. She had to get him out of jail somehow. She didn't even know where the jail was. She had no idea what the protocol was. By now it was getting later, the sun would be setting over the vast Pacific within an hour. Her mind reeled. She was in shock about the whole ordeal. It had been savage and violent. She couldn't believe Wes had completely misinterpreted her distraction technique with the soldiers.

"What the hell was he thinking getting up and running away???" She wondered and sighed. "Fucking Juan and his triple shot margaritas. I wonder if that bastard can see the future. Is he a brujo? A witch doctor? A soothsayer? I wonder if he set this whole disaster up?"

She knew it was too soon to go confront Juan. That would come later. For now she knew she had to head back to the hotel and ask the concierge for directions and advice.

"That is what I have to do." She said firmly to herself.

As she turned to go She saw Wes' bathrobe off in the distance crumpled in the sand. It felt solemn. She knew she had to get it. She became emotional and her eyes were wet. She felt warmth again for Wes. She felt bad for him. He just wanted to have fun. She wanted to forget it all. She wished she could just go out to dinner with him. She didn't even want to go dancing. She wished that they could go back to the room after dinner and just hold each other. She became sentimental and in that she wanted no memoirs of the vicious, ugly escapade that had occurred here on the beach. She had to clean the scene of the crime and return the stupid, ugly bath robe back to where it belonged.

She walked directly to it and as she grabbed it she felt wetness. She looked to see if it had been touched by the incoming tide. As she turned it over she could see a large area soaked with Wes' fluorescent urine. She dropped it immediately. It reeked.

"My god, I can't believe that came out of a man. It smells like death." She whispered. "How could that be? He threw the bathrobe off before he urinated in front of the Federales. Oh, my lord, he must've pissed himself while we ate. That dirty Juan. I wonder what else he put in those drinks. It smells like desert roadkill. This is all too much..."

She couldn't bring herself to pick it up again and bring it back to the hotel. She wanted no part of it. She looked around to make sure no one had seen her almost claim it. The coast was clear, the crowds had dissipated. She left it in a heap on the sand. She nonchalantly pretended she had never seen it and started towards the hotel. It would be two hours before the ocean and it's rising tide claimed the robe as it's own.

As Kelly approached the hotel she sensed that people were watching her. They would look at her and then whisper to each other. It was annoying. She knew why. The whole fucking town probably knew about what had happened. She did her best to ignore them all and walk with dignity. She held her head high. She avoided Juan's bar and went straight to the concierge in the lobby.

"Hello again!" She smiled as she said it.

It was the same man who helped her earlier get directions to Manuel's. Manuel entered her mind. It seemed like a lifetime ago. She thought about her and Wes after Manuel. She couldn't believe it all happened today. She could still feel them both inside of her vagina.

"Holy fuck what a weird day." She didn't realize she had said it out loud.

"Excuse me, señorita?" The concierge replied.

"Oh, I'm so sorry señor. I've had a really loco day. I'm trying to sort it all out. So many things have happened in such a short period of time that I'm wondering if it's all a dream or if it's real?" She smiled awkwardly as she talked.

The concierge reached over and pinched her on the arm.

"Ouch!!" She exclaimed.

"Ha ha! Now you know it's real!" He said. "This peninsula is a strange place. But I think it likes you. I like you. What can I do to help you? Do you need to know how to get to the jail? Or if you should even go to the jail? I heard about your husband's little adventure down there. I hope they take pity on him. Sometimes they like to make an example of folks like him. Golfers are a strange breed."

"Oh, no, he's not my husband. He's just a friend. I've known him a long time. He invited me on this trip and it seemed fun so I came. He's a good guy. He's just a bit lost. He's trying to figure out who he is." Kelly explained.

"It's funny how the gringo is one of the only creatures on the Earth trying to figure out who he is!!" The concierge laughed heartily.

Kelly laughed as well. She knew it was true. It felt embarrassing. She was in the process of doing the same thing, trying to figure out who she was and what her purpose in this life was.

"It's as if we're all separated from the world at birth and we're trying to figure out how we can join it, or something like that. It's very strange our culture. We're all so lost. What happened?" Kelly exclaimed.

"You are wise to recognize that. Life doesn't last very long. Everything ends up dying." The concierge explained. "But that is just a part of the whole process. We are made to do that. We learn so much and then we return to where we truly reside. Spirit is important. Utilize your spirit, follow your spirit. Men like your husband have lost their spirit. I can still see yours is within you. I can see your husband desperately trying to re-find his. Sometimes that's a brutal journey. Your people think they own the world but that couldn't be farther from the truth. They don't even own themselves. But I like you, and I've met other gringos who understand. It's a societal thing, it's not natural. It's as if your minds and hearts have been toyed with and abused since birth. Most gringos are still children when they're old, and not in a good way."

"What you say is so true. Except the part about him being my husband. He's not." Kelly laughed. "I've only been here twenty four hours or so and already I've learned so much. It's like it's been three years! It's crazy. By the way, what is your name?"

"My name is Chuy, some call me Jesus. And you? What is your name?" Jesus asked.

"I'm Kelly. I can't thank you enough for your words. They really help. I've actually been feeling pretty damn good here. I've had fun. It just got, well, out of control! My friend has stepped in every dog turd along the path. It's been amazing. I mean he actually might be safer in jail!" She laughed and so did Jesus. "What do you think I should do? Do you think he has a chance to get out of there?"

"It's complicated." Jesus said. "He was stupid to karate chop that policia. They don't like that. Sometimes, if he has enough money he can pay his way out. Or if he knows a big wig in the town he might have a shot. I do think they'll keep him there a bit, at least. I wouldn't go there tonight. It's not worth it. He might learn something being alone there for an evening wondering about his fate. Sometimes that's good for a man who is lost on his path. I would relax if you can. Maybe shower, go in the hot tub and pool, or even better the ocean, it cleanses the soul. Then get some dinner, maybe a little tequila and take it easy. You will see your friend again. It's not the like the old days anymore. They might have shot him back in the day. Relajate. All will be well. If you need anything come talk to me. I like you. You have a good heart."

Kelly thanked Jesus profusely. He was so kind. She liked that it wasn't fake. He didn't say things he thought she might like, he spoke the truth whether she liked it or not. She felt seen by Jesus and she was glad that it seemed he felt seen by her. She felt a real warmth for him and his kind, twinkling eyes.

"Just a poor Mexican concierge, eh?" She thought to herself. "He puts most men I've known to shame."

She turned once more to thank him, waving backwards as she walked. It was then she realized she had no idea where she was going. As she wondered she heard the text alert on her phone. It brought her back to the strange reality she was living and out of the warm universal glow of Jesus' company and conversation. It was Manuel.

"Hola, señorita. I hope your day was good. You made mine muy deliciosa, sabrosa! What are you doing? I'm at the cantina I work at. Do you have plans tonight. I work for a few more hours. Maybe I can buy you a cerveza mas tarde, señorita? Hablame! Send a message! Saludos... Manuel."

She was somewhat dumbstruck at receiving it. This trip was so weird. It was so shallow yet so deep.

"Maybe deep and shallow are the same thing?" She reasoned. "Either way the deep end and shallow end are always in one pool. I guess they converge, or maybe that means neither is better or worse than the other. Maybe there's no judgment upon the two? Maybe all is just what it fucking is? I guess the one thing I do get to decide is what I do in either end. Wes decided and now he's getting punished by a world he can't even comprehend! I'm free as a bird with a hotel room I can charge everything to and no one around to monitor me or want something from me or holy fuck the list goes on! The deep end and the shallow end are both in the same pool."

She grabbed her phone and began to write Manuel.

"Hola, Manuel. You wouldn't believe the rest of my day. I won't bother you with the details. Our time today was exciting. You surprised me. You're quite a man for your age. I enjoyed it very much. With all that's gone on today I'm gonna' take it easy and just stay here tonight. If I get the urge I'll text you later but it's unlikely. I've got some things to think about and figure out. It sounds nice just to relax here. I hope you have a great night. I'll drop you a note tomorrow. XOXO Kelly"

With that taken care of Kelly decided to head to her room to change and shower. For some reason Juan was on her mind. She wanted to talk to him and go over the "event" of the day, Wes' terrible episode on the beach. He knew all that went on and he was partially to "blame" for fueling Wes with so much tequila. She knew he wasn't at fault, though he was a catalyst, she began to feel that everything was working just as it should be, like some twisted God was leading them all through some sort of life class and plucking and tugging at all the stray ends that needed to be plucked and tugged. She was beginning to trust the odyssey that she strayed into when she accepted Wes' invitation. It felt strangely good. It felt real.

"Maybe that's what life is all about?" She mused. "Real and fake. You could do anything that had a realness and depth to it, even like fucking Manuel, he was real, and I can feel good about it. Then, on the other hand, I can go and have Wes fuck me, or maybe last night is a better example, I can try to make something work with someone who isn't quite there yet and it ends up in total weirdness. I mean, I ended up feeling bad for him and unsatisfied myself. It made me feel depleted. That's weird. I can have a conversation with Jesus and not even know him and feel like I'm with a sage, a sage that cares about me and then I can turn around and talk to Wes about basically nothing and have to justify all my actions and feelings after it. It's so fucking weird. Real and fake. It's better to flake than go fake. I have a lot to learn and a lot to put into practice. Awareness. Awareness. Always aware of surroundings, predators, sounds, feelings. Life is about awareness, and not some hippy dippy bullshit cocaine party talk crap, but real awareness no matter what you're doing, who you're with, and so on and so on... I mean, I think that's it."

It was a big bowl of words to swallow, but swallow she did, plenty of times too! Did that all make sense? What was she saying. Strangely she could feel it was getting close to something. It was getting close to comfort in herself. That had been a rarity in her life. It's amazing that a beautiful woman can feel that way, but that's quite male of me to say. She was getting close to being comfortable in who she was.

"What a treat!" She thought.

She arrived to her room. It was strange to see it after all the goings on of the day. It was just the way Wes and her left it after their strange coital mingling of the afternoon. She laughed thinking about it.

"That was wild." She reminisced. "He was so proud of how turned on I was! I shouldn't poke fun, but it is funny. And it was kind of strangely kinky. There's something kind of sexy about being a proud slut. I mean sex is what literally keeps the world populated. No wonder we all like it. God isn't stupid, he, she, whoever, made it made it so damn good people would want to do it all the time. It's amazing the crazy feelings and sensations that happen. So dirty, but so beautiful, so lustful and crazy, like a powerful drug. What an incredible invention. God, whoever you are, even if I'm part of you, especially if I'm part of you, you are amazing."