Lady Pixie's War Ch. 07: A New Hope

At first it looked as though Chamberlain's decision to take Churchill into his Cabinet had paid dividends. From being his major opponent in the Commons and the Party, Churchill was now a Senior Minister and busy trying to run the Admiralty. But time would show the unwisdom of the move.

In the meantime, Poland fell, divided between Germany and Russia, with Churchill arguing that we ought to be going to war with the Soviets too; fortunately, in this case, Chamberlain's appeasing tendencies were not quite dead.

Jack Carrington told us that the French were determined to stay behind the Maginot Line and wait for the Germans to come to grief attacking it. We sent an Expeditionary Force to France, but for those expecting something dramatic, the first eight months of the war were an anti-climax. We did not nickname it "the phoney war" for nothing.

With the war declared, parliament became an even odder place than usual. There was only one priority - the war itself. I left Archie in town at the Foreign Office and stayed in Suffolk with a pregnant Beccy. Oddly, given the circumstances, I look back on that autumn with fondness.

It was almost as though the outside world had, for all its drama, receded. The aircraft overhead from the nearby airfield were one of the few signs that we were at war. The newspapers took to calling it the "Phoney War." I took exception to that on behalf of the Poles, whose country had been torn apart by the Nazis and the Communists, and threw myself into work to help the refugees. I persuaded Archie that it was ridiculous to have the big house to ourselves at such a time, and I am sure I heard him assent to using the cottages on the estate and the west wing to house refugees. At least I think that's what the noise, which went something like "harrumph!" meant. Mind you, his visits to Suffolk did become rather scarcer - pressure of work he claimed. Must have been the war, as I told Beccy.

Our first refugees arrived in late September, women and children who were worried about the fate of their menfolk. We made sure that they were comfortable and arranged rations for them. It broke one's heart to see their grief.

With the domestic staff beginning to leave to do "war work" we were grateful that some of our Polish guests offered to help out.

I had talked with the Estate Steward, Mellors, about what we should do to prepare for what was to come. A dour Yorkshireman who had married a Suffolk "lass," he had managed the Estate for years and had seemed pleased that I took such an interest in it.

"Eet's rare, Milady, most are like his lordship and leave it alone. But I see tha'rt interested. So what's your idea?"

I explained to him that if, as I expected, the war would go on for years, most things would end up on rations, and labour would be hard to come by, and I suggested that we turned the home farm over to crops, using our Polish guests to help, if they would. The aim, I said, was to become self-sufficient as far as we could.

"Tha's got a good head on thy shoulder, Milady. Leave it to me. If tha's comfortable with the idea, I'll also have a word wi' some of the old boys from the olden times, some of them has skills might be useful."

And so it proved.

By the time our Polish guests were settled in, some of the "old boys" were working the land again, and one of the joys of that season was to see the interaction between them and the Polish women and their children.

"Oh Mama!" Beccy exclaimed one Friday afternoon while she was resting, "this seems like a little Eden."

"The war will reach us soon enough my love. But I have something I want to put to you?"

"Ooh, will I like it? More sex on the lawn?"

"With all our guests, darling, we might just have to eschew that one! No, I have been thinking what happens in November when the baby comes."

"Me too Mama, and, erm, I do have a problem I want to discuss with you."

"What's that darling?"

"You first Mama!"

I explained that Maja, who had worked for a Polish Count before fleeing the country with her daughter, Anna, had asked if I would be interested in her taking on the role of housekeeper now that the Duke's old one, Martha, was about to retire. I had been in favour, and Maja had added that Anna was a trained nanny and had nursing experience too.

"How would you feel about us employing Anna to help you and the little one?"

"Anna, Mama? Is she the rather well-endowed brunette with the dimples?"

"The very one!" I laughed. "I had caught you eyeing her!"

"Oh Mama, am I a bad girl? It's not that I don't love you Mama, it's just, well," she giggled, "I sometimes get so randy that I think of other women."

I smiled. That was my Beccy. There was not a shadow of deceit in her. She knew I loved her and being her, the idea of jealousy never reared its head. She was Jack's wife, and in all but name, mine, so why should either of us object should she find a lover? The answer would have been obvious to most, but the fact that the question was neither asked, nor answered, by the three of us, was one of the things that bound Beccy, Jack and I together. Love was more than sex. The sex was always the best, but how niggardly the love that denied its object a dalliance here, there, or indeed, everywhere.

"Now, my darling, what was your problem?"

She blushed becomingly, so I knew it must be something "interesting," which was our code for "sexual."

"Well, Mama, speaking of endowments, you must have noticed that my titties are growing?"

"I had my love, and very lovely you look with them."

"Oh thank you Mama. Well, you see, the thing is that I have, erm, been leaking from there. I think I am producing milk, Mama! My titties feel so full sometimes. I feel like Flossie must before milking!"

Flossie was one of our cows, and I found the comparison an interesting one.

"So, would my girl like to be milked?"

"Oh Mama, yes please, it would be lovely to be relieved of the ache."

I looked her in the eyes. She was smiling, and her eyes were full of mischief.

"Well, my darling, let's have that dress off, shall we?"

"Yes Mama."

I never tired of watching her unveil her beauty. Her pregnancy gave her a special bloom. Though not far from term now, her "bump" was not big, but once her bra was off, I could see how heavy her breasts looked.

Beccy looked at me:

"Oh Mama, I feel so naughty, but, well, I, I need to be milked!"

She sat on the sofa, those big, heavy breasts with their hard nipples and dark areola just so tempting; so I gave in.

Sitting on her lap, I leant in and tentatively kissed her right nipple. She held her breast to my lips. I sucked. After a few sucks I could hear her begin to moan softly, and then there was a sweet taste in my mouth as her thick milk began to squirt in. She tasted good, and I had no problem feeding from her. What did surprise me was her asking:

"Oh Mama, I feel so tingly down there. Can I rub myself?"

Taking my lips away from the cream for a second, I said:

"You may!"

I was, then, amazed. But later, I was to discover that Beccy was far from alone in finding breast feeding sexually arousing.

I sucked harder.

"Oh yes, Mama, that feels so good!"

I felt her hand just under where I was sitting. At first, she just circled her clit, but soon her rubbing was faster.

Taking my lips away a second time, and licking them, I said:

"Your other breast needs milking now, Flossie!"

"Oh Mama, you are SO naughty!"

She shifted me to her left breast, which allowed her right hand to do what she needed.

As I sucked, my tummy rather enjoying the thick, creamy milk, Beccy became more and more agitated until, with a great moan, she came hard, pressing my face into her breast.

As she came down from her high, I sucked until the flow became a trickle, and then, letting her nipple go (which leaked her milk onto my face), I looked up at her flushed face.

"Success?"

"Oh Mama, yes!"

"Whatever are we going to do when baby is born?"

She giggled.

"Well Mama, you will have to share with baby!"

"I rather thought we might get you to express the milk my darling and keep it in the larder in bottles."

She blushed.

"You mean really milk me?"

"Would you object?"

"No, Mama!"

I suppose we should have been more careful, but with Archie so often absent at weekends, we had become used to being able to play our games, and so it came as a shock when, as I pulled away from her, another voice broke in on us.

"Oh, my lady, I am sorry, mama asked me to come to see you, I can see I got time bad!"

It was young Anna, and yes, in a manner of speaking she had got her timing wrong, but, well, some accidents are happy ones.

Beccy, never embarrassed, just looked at her:

"No, Anna, that is fine. Did you find what you just saw revolting?"

Anna was looking at Beccy directly, and whatever was on her face was not disgust.

"What you and my lady do does not disgust me, Lady Rebecca."

"So, you would still like to be nanny to my little one?"

I could see Anna was taking a deep breath.

"And to you if needed, Lady Rebecca."

Colour me amazed!

It transpired that Anna's previous employer had enjoyed her more intimate services and shared them with his wife, hence both her lack of surprise and willingness to help out.

"Well," I suggested brightly, "that's settled. You can have the maid's room next to Beccy, if that suits, Anna?"

She looked at us.

"Thank you, my lady, and of course if you should need help too....."

I smiled at her. There was no doubting her attractiveness, so I said that I was sure that there would be times.

My one hesitation was Maja, Anna's mother. The last thing I wanted our Polish guests to think was that I was in any way taking advantage of them. I need not have worried.

Maja, who was supervising our excellent new Polish cook, Maria, asked if she might have a private word with me. My first thought, naturally, was that she wanted to object to our negligence in not keeping our sex life out of view, but I need not have worried.

"Anna is a good girl my lady, and she is delighted that she can serve you and Lady Rebecca. And, please, my lady, do not worry, she is very discreet."

I smiled at her.

"Thank you, Maja, I had been concerned."

"Lady Pixie, we are so grateful to you, and I am sufficiently a woman of the world not to be surprised that my aristocratic employer has her own preferences. I had rather that for my Anna than the sort of attentions her last employer gave her. She is not going to get with child from being with Lady Rebecca!"

And with that, it was sealed.

Even Archie, who had clearly had more than a few doubts about my sanity, decided that my "bright idea" as he called it, was not a bad one after all.

"My darling, that cook you found us, top notch! I had no idea that Polish food was so good. Seems very like English food though darling!"

Despite Beccy dissolving into suppressed giggles, I hadn't the heart to tell the dear boy that a good Polish cook could actually cook English dishes; it would have disturbed his world view.

"Old Mellors seems to have enough labour for the estate, too, which makes a change, I was talking to Eldon, and he's finding it hard to get the workers he needs. Good chap old Mellors, wouldn't have thought he'd be bright enough to have thought of using the Poles and the old boys. Just goes to show!"

As I said to Beccy afterwards, what it went to show was that there was no limit to what a girl could get done provided she did not mind who took the credit. As Mellors himself seemed delighted with Archie's praise, I was happy to let it all pass. As October turned into November, I was fully preoccupied with Beccy's pregnancy.

The darling girl had been in robust health throughout, indeed she seemed to be flourishing. Anna and I rather fussed around her, and I consulted our doctor, Mr Meredith, who promised to come whenever we should have need of him. But Beccy being Beccy, I might have predicted what actually happened.

Beccy and I slept together, and on the night of Wednesday, 8 November, she woke several times. Anxiously, I asked if she felt anything out of the ordinary, but in her usual blithe spirit, she said she was fine. It was a dark and stormy night.

It was at breakfast on the Thursday, 9 November, that Beccy suddenly clutched her stomach.

"Oh gosh! I think my waters just broke!"

I called for Anna, and Maja came with her, as did Maria the cook. As they tended to her, I tried to phone Meredith - but the line was down. I learned later that a tree had fallen and brought the telephone line down.

I went back with the bad news.

"Okay," Maja said, "we women have this. Rebecca, let me look."

Beccy opened her thighs and let Maja examine her.

"My lady, I think Rebecca will not be long! Anna, Maria, get some towels and hot water - oh, and Maria, I shall want those sharp scissors. Lady Pixie, I think the best thing is to stay where we are. Rebecca, I will want you to squat."

"But the doctor said I was to lie down and let him and the midwife deliver!"

"Lady Rebecca, with respect, the doctor is a man. That baby is in a hurry, and gravity is our ally."

"As you wish," Beccy said, moaning as the contractions got more frequent.

Maja moved her hands over Beccy's bump.

"Baby is in place I think - this is going to be quick!"

For the next hour and a half, the breakfast room was a hive of activity, punctuated by Beccy's grunting and moans. Every now and then, Maja and Anna would peer at Beccy's pussy pronouncing on the extent of the dilation.

"My lady Rebecca, we must get you in position. Get those sheets under her Maria. Lady Pixie, are you happy to help me hold Rebecca? Anna, get ready!"

Beccy was now breathing heavily, and as we passed the third hour since the breaking of her waters, she got more agitated.

"Oh damn, oh damn! I am never, never, never having sex with a man again! How the hell do I get baby out of there?"

"You are almost fully dilated, Rebecca." Anna said. "And yes, I can see baby's head. Push, Beccy, push, there's a good girl!"

I looked her in the eye, kissing her and wiping her forehead with a cold cloth.

"Come on my darling, you can do this. Baby is like you, in a hurry to enjoy life!"

"I will kill Jack, I will Mama. Bloody men! Shoot their seed and then, oh golly! Mama!"

Beccy rarely swore, but as she pushed, her language deteriorated badly.

"Fuck! Oh Mama, I love you. Hold me!"

I held her, wiping her brow.

"Yes, come on, one more push, Beccy!"

"Oh my, oh fuck, fuck, fuck!"

"Yes, yes!"

Anna looked at Beccy and I.

"You have a little girl!"

"Oh, Mama, my own little one!"

After wiping the baby and cutting the cord, Anna wrapped her in a shawl and handed her to her mother. The look in Beccy's eyes brought tears to mine - and the other women were also tearing up. Anna was the apex of midwifery, making sure the afterbirth was removed and that baby was okay. In fact, like her mother, baby was robust from the get-go.

"What name have you for her, Lady Rebecca?" Maja asked.

Beccy and I had discussed the issue extensively. Bless her, she had wanted to call a boy "Jack," and a girl "Cynthia." On pain of death I forbade her lumbering a poor child with the name I had never used, and we had decided to wait and see.

"Mama Pixie," Beccy said, looking at me, "I want to call her Hope. Hope, Ethel Cynthia. In this dark time she is our Hope!"

At the point, as though to assent, little Hope cried, prompting Anna to put her on Beccy's left breast. As ever with Beccy, everything worked to perfection and within a few minutes, Hope was suckling.

"Thank you, Anna, Maja, Maria - and you, Mama Pixie. A girl could not have wanted better midwives! Who needs men?"

"Well", Maja replied, "you might have been pushed to have had Hope without Lord Jack!"

"True", she giggled, but I am NEVER having sex with a man again!"

Anna smiled.

"They all say that every time," she smiled, "and the fact that they say so every time gives the lie to it!"

"Well, I am going to be a full-fledged lesbian!" Beccy declared. "Unless, that is, Jack is home!"

That nice squaring of the circle, which was so Beccy, had us all laughing.

"You know one saying that has always puzzled me, Mama?"

"No, darling," I said, as she turned to stroke the babe at her breast.

"That silly saying about not having your cake and eating it. What's the blooming point of having a cake and not eating it?"

"Ah," I giggled, stroking the soft down on Hope's head, "so you are in favour of having your cake and eating it?"

"I am Mama!"

Bless her, she always was, and Hope was not so much a chip off the old block, as a miniature version of it.

I did call Dr Meredith, who seemed a little put out, but when he came over that evening, he had to admit that "mother and baby were doing well."

I sent telegrams to Jack, and to his parents and Beccy's.

Beccy and Hope were inseparable from that first moment. If I had to define unconditional love, I would cite Beccy and Hope. Beccy adored Hope, and Hope reciprocated. Anna turned out to be the ideal nurse/nanny, and that Christmas was, despite the war, one of the best I ever spent.

Lord Robert and Lady Ethel came over to see their granddaughter, and even the stern unbending Ethel seemed won over by the little charmer in her daughter's arms. But the cherry on the icing on the cake was the arrival, on the shortest day of the year, of Major Jack Carrington.

I shall never forget the joy in his face as he saw his wife and his new daughter.

"Darling, she looks just like you!"

"Well," I told him, "she has your eyes if you ask me."

"Thank you, Lady Pixie. I must say I am relieved!"

"Why? I asked.

"She's the first baby I have seen who does not look like Winston!"

Archie guffawed, as did we all.

On Christmas morning, in the chapel on the estate, Hope was Christened. As we stood for the photographer to capture in black and white the joy of that occasion, I turned to Beccy and Jack.

"Thanks to you, we all have Hope!"

"Oh we do, we do Mama!"

Handing me Hope, Beccy fell into Jack's arms, and they kissed.

God was in His Heaven, and all was right with the world. Well, for a little while yet.