Lessons of Darkness

And with that the mental cavity I find myself in fades into a blank as the demon who powered it is no longer with me. My mind turns to darkness and then I see a faint light as I awake with a jolt back to the dimness of the room I share with Charlotte.

My sudden arousal awakes her too and with some concern she asks "What's wrong?"

"I'll tell you about it tomorrow," I say with every intention to but not wanting to bother her with the details at such a late hour. "In fact in our schedule I think we should try making a bit more time for one another. It doesn't have to be a whole lot more but I would like to get to know you even better. That's something I feel a husband and wife can take for granted."

"I think that's a good idea," she says sleepily as she attempts to return to her restful slumber.

I attempt to join her too but one thought keeps me up for a bit. Astaroth knew to approach me with caution. Clearly word had gotten around in whatever netherworld the demons reside in. My reputation is growing, and with that I fear the preparation of my forthcoming foes.

A Coalition

It happens again. Another summoning... failed? Maybe? Is that what happened? last time the demon was merely lying in wake? Does this demon have a nefarious surprise for me? Something's gone wrong, at least on my end. And that's saying something given that a success would result in me getting all tangled up with a demon.

Is that a hint of red I see? All around me even? Usually a demon doesn't have quite this much control over the material world this quickly. Customarily there needed to be a bit of an adjustment period. Yet the mind games begin all the same, an intimidating hue to color my perceptions. The adrenaline starts to make its way through me, hopefully something else doesn't follow suit.

"Mr. Black?" A voice asks. I fail to respond.

"Mr. Blaaaaaaaack?" It asks again even more tauntingly.

What to say to this demon? Out of all the ones in the book, Marchosias is the one with the least description. I don't even know if I translated all of the words correctly, something about commands. Reading it was strange, it seemed as if this one is supposed to follow my orders or something.

"It's awfully rude to keep someone waiting, especially... Family." What was that? No way I'm related to a demon, unless my parents' marriage was a bit more open than I knew about.

"That got your attention didn't it Mr. Black? Don't worry, your mom wasn't a whore... Probably. At least that's not what her final words indicated."

All right, now we're getting into Mommy and Daddy territory. It's really trying to go for some basic insecurities. Luckily, me and my parents weren't really that close. Yeah... Lucky me. Anyways there's a better time to plunder that particular emotional well. Let me instead focus on getting out of here in one piece.

"Even more of your attention? My Mr. Black, you're so generous. Don't worry, your questions will be answered soon enough. Though you may not like the answers."

I continue to say nothing. One thing I've learned about demons is that they like to tempt. So I can't imagine a scenario where letting curiosity get the better of me would work out in my favor. Better to be quiet and focus on staying calm while keeping cautious.

"Why so quiet? Am I... Frightening you? And frightened you should be, but that's not a cause for such silence on your part. Not answering questions is simply not polite."

My acclimation to the demonic has given me a bit more sensitivity to their presence. And this one isn't doing nearly as good a job as Astaroth did at sneaking up on me. However I don't want it to know that I sense it. So oblivious I act as I ready the balls of my feet to jump when the time is right.

"You know I've tried coming here before. In here and in your dreams. It's just a bit harder when no one summons me. But then I learned you were summoning others and I knew I just had to wait my turn."

Well that explains my first encounter with the demonic, but it reminds me of the chill. Hopefully I have much more resistance because I am for sure in hell going to need it.

"Pity that you are going to deny me answers though. That might have given you a few more minutes of your... Life!"

And with that I jump out of the way as a stream of fire inexplicably manifests itself in the room, headed straight to the point that I was standing moments earlier. I get back on the soles of my feet and run up the stairs of my basement. I had sprinkled holy water at the entrance after my run in with Astaroth to prevent demons from following me out of the room.

"Where are you going Mr. Black?" The voice asks as I stand still dumbfounded. This should not be happening. I made it out of the basement, how is the demon following?

"Wondering how I got here? Well although my compatriot is still blocked by your obstruction of the spiritual kind, I can move quite freely. I do admit that it hurt a bit, such exposure to the netherworld has made me averse to the holy. A transformation that I'm sure will claim me in time, but for now though I can follow you to a degree."

Distance, that's my only hope left. "Charlotte?" I call frantically.

"Yes?" She asks back.

"We need to leave right now!"

"Ok," she says, knowing that this has always been a possibility.

"Going so soon?" Asks the voice once more as I make my way to the door. "Ah well I won't mind house sitting for you while you're gone. And who knows? I may even add a few decorations of my own."

I meet Charlotte at the front door and together we run out. She has with her our two contingency bags. We jump into the car and drive off as fast as we can."

"How did the demon get passed the Holy Water?" She asks.

"I'm not even sure if it's a demon," I reply.

"What? Who is it then?"

"I don't know but I think it may be some relative of mine."

***************************************

I've briefed Charlotte on everything I know, which isn't a lot. I still haven't gotten quite out of the dark on this one so lord knows how much of a guide I can be. Even Orpheus is looking mighty good in comparison to my attempts.

"So... Something went... Wrong? Or at least, not quite right," I try and relate.

"Uh-huh," she says.

"And there was a being, or maybe two of them, even though I only summoned one. Not sure how that happened. At least one of which claimed relation to me and knowledge of my mom and dad and their disappearance."

"Ok."

"And so my sense of control started slipping a little too quickly for my tastes. So I took the one who will live to fight another day's route out and instigated the evacuation."

"All right."

"And so that pretty much brings us to right now," I say in a present that invites no further substantial comments in regards to what happened. Just further confusion to surround ourselves in an aura of opaque fog in which the two of us look for some break that will show us an action to take. Yet the answers are not as forthcoming as the two of us would like.

So as steps to take elude us Charlotte asks me questions in hopes that it will lead to some big break. "Do we have anything else that might help us?"

"Nope, just the book. If you want you can try translating it yourself. There may have been something hidden in the manor that could help us but under the current situations I don't think we should go back there."

"Is there anyone we could ask?"

"No... Well, there is someone we could. But uh... But uh..."

"But, who?"

"Well..."

***************************************

I don't know how well a cheap motel will work for demon summoning. Some people would consider such a place ghastly enough but I don't know if it will be up to snuff for anything that comes from the netherworld. Ah well, got to hope that Lilith is excited enough to see me that she'd make the trek to such a drab place.

Excited to see me... Excited might not be the best word for how she would feel about seeing me. I know she still sees me positively but that her inability to have me might make her own feelings turn sour and despondent. Unrequited love does have a habit of not making the bearer feel the best of ways.

And unrequited is not the best word to use either because I did love her, I really did and still do to a degree. It's just that a human and a demon would seem like it would make an even more tragic a love story than old R & J. And you know I'm with Charlotte who I love very much and I would like to stick with. But what can I say? There are no clear cut feelings on this one. Just the murky river of love and the extenuating circumstances that surround it, with me trying to paddle my way up against a current that's trying to push me more and more downstream.

And so is the nature of love. Guess I'm not finding that babbling brook where I can coast as I float gently to the destination of my choosing. Looks like there are some rapids I'm going to have to steer into before I get a brief respite to soothe myself from the injuries that are about to unfold, whether they be real or emotional.

Anyway, enough delaying the inevitable. It's time to call forth my old lover, someone who's like an ex-girlfriend I'm actually fond of. Let's see if the fondness persists after this incantation. So, without further ado, let's get the punches rolling and drudge through some conflicting feelings.

Don't know if you need a refresher on the words I say to summon my favorite demon so far. They're in Latin anyway and I don't think you're going to take the time to Google translate them. So I say my words and out comes the cracking. Much less dramatic than the first go around for reasons I can't properly explain. It could be a change in her attitude, it could be me getting better at summoning or it could be that a few too many people have had their kidneys harvested in this hotel room and then bled out, making this a better highway to hell.

And so she pops out from the portal she came in out of from last time. A brief delight at seeing someone she remembers so fondly is followed by a troubled look, knowing that her memories are about to come into conflict with the cold hard truths of reality. A quiet resignation flows through the room with each and every step she takes toward me, with the two of us engaging in a kind of nonverbal game of chicken to see who will speak first and commence with the awkwardness.

"Hey..." I finally muster.

"Hey." She replies back.

And a necessary silence to show the other how uncomfortable we are with expressing ourselves begins. The rare case where a sense of comfort would actually be a detriment rather than a benefit. Our shared unease lets the other know that we're in the same boat when it comes to dealing with how we're feeling. At least there is a common ground in an encounter that's going to end with her going her way and me going mine.

"I have... Some questions I would like to ask you."

"Ok."

"How much... Do you know about the demon Marchosias?"

"Enough for probably what you want."

And so she gives me the description of Marchosias, a demon to serve. One in need of a master to do any actual harm. To bolster what it serves and then fight for its master. Yet it appears as if another master had gone out and found him. To have any hope of victory I will need to know the nature of who is controlling it.

And that is where Lilith gives pause. It looks to be the kind of answer that takes time to phrase in a delicate manner. Seems like this is about to get into even more emotionally hectic territory than I thought possible, and I was bracing myself for some seismic shit. So feelings, put your seatbelts on as we get through this rocky terrain.

"...I've... We've... known about your family for quite some time as you probably know. We've had many encounters with them over the years. But there is the special circumstance of the one who came to stay.

Garland Black is the name of the person I'm referring to. I don't know exactly how he's related to you, our interest in your family does not go that far. From what I can tell he came in with two other people who appear to have since vanished. That's about it for my knowledge of his origin story.

Yet he was able to withstand the demonic blazes we exist in and preserve his form throughout the inferno. Only someone with some deeply inherent darkness in him could possibly keep intact in the place we lie. And that darkness showed through, revealing himself to be someone who belonged there more than he ever did in your earthly plane.

However the human in him was holding him back a bit. And that's where Marchosias came in to play. A man whose only desire for companionship lay solely in the idea that two are better than one had found a demon built to serve his vision. The only want that Marchosias had ever had was to somehow find its way back into the good graces of the lord. After that desire was finally extinguished from eons of gloom it was more than happy to serve a man who was and is committed to causing pain and darkness.

But there is a distinct lack of pain of darkness to cause in our neck of the woods. One more drop isn't going to do much in a bucket already filling with it. And so they trained together, developing their bond in wait of the day someone may allow them entry into a place that hadn't been completely contaminated."

"And I guess that person was me," I say wearily. I've never stopped to question my deference to summoning what was in this book. I just did what the magnet in me commanded, followed its path without considering that its judgement might be a little faulty. The last three times I had managed to pull back from the edge with lessons learned, but is this to be my Icarus moment?

"So... How do I go about defeating the two of them?" I ask. "Cause this book does not have the answers," I add holding up what has turned out to be a rather ineffectual manual.

"Neither do I, at least concrete ones. I got guesses and things to try. No guarantees though, can't even say for certain that they won't make anything worse."

"Well as you can see I doubt you can do worse than me."

"I would try to separate the two. The two have become so accustomed to the other that separately they will fall and crumble."

"Ok. How do I do that?"

"Don't know exactly. There's always the human demon divide to consider," she says, quite possibly hinting at what tore the two of us asunder. Well, if that divide was strong enough to keep the two of us apart then it may very well be a place to start.

"What keeps a human and demon apart?" I ask.

"I don't know, you tell me," she replies with enough melancholy to offset the accusational tone that the answer could potentially have had.

However the case for my previously unheard of family member Garland and his partner in crime Marchosias is a bit different than me and Lilith. For one Garland and Marchosias do not appear to have ever had a romantic bone in the two of them. Continuing on, Garland was bound for darkness much more than me, he was able to find himself over the divide that separates me from Lilith. I am just a tourist in a land he inhabits.

"I think that questions of superiority could put a strain on their relationship. Who's inherently stronger, the demon or the human moonlighting as a demon," I tell her.

"Might work," she says, knowing that the reason for why I have summoned her has come to an end.

And so we find ourselves in the in between space of goodbyes. The place where both parties are thinking if there's one more thing they may want to say or if they want to forever hold their peace.

"Thanks," I say, hoping I don't have to give a more fully formed goodbye.

"Likewise," she says, knowing that our time together is at a close. Slowly she walks back to her portal, with every step a conscious decision to put aside her feelings and return to the abyss where she knows no solace awaits her.

Until suddenly the choice is no longer her own and the need to be heard takes precedence. She turns around to see what good an imploration can do. "Mr. Black?" she half cries.

"Yes," I respond, giving what she has to say its light in the day while still knowing there's only one outcome.

"I... I miss you," she says in a way that can only be considered pathetic coming from the mouth of a demon. Something painful for her to say that was somehow less painful than the alternative of keeping quiet.

"I can tell," I reply, trying to find my way onto as diplomatic a route as possible.

"I tried helping those who summoned me after you. I really did. I tried showing them a better path, but they just wanted pure subjugation. And so into my collection they went, me begrudgingly feeding them the sensations they came for every now and then. Pure absentminded bliss is all they wanted. It just makes me think of what we shared and then the sadness grows."

"I'm sorry to hear that," I say, knowing I'm just deflecting at this point instead of telling her how I really feel.

"And you have no idea how pathetic it is for me a demon to lower myself before a human like you. Or at least how pathetic it should feel, because right now it feels like the most natural thing in the world that I would stand here and beg you for more of the love you have to offer. The words are just flowing out of me."

"I know but the dilemma still stands, we're not able to last in each other's worlds for that long."

"I know but could I... Could I... Could I just get a reminder of the time we spent together? Could you show me the way you held me, touched me, made love to me once more? It's just all I know is lust, the most boring and insipid kind of lust. Just once more could you show me the sexual highs that you were capable of taking me? Please? I want to know them again.

You are the one person I can never hate. I saw deep within you and there was little to nothing that my hate could hang its hat on. Please let me go back to that, I have hate for the others I have witnessed. Please help me find a way to return to love. It's tearing me apart."

"I wish I could but I'm uh... I'm uh..."

"What?"

"... I'm kind of sort of... Married."

And so she looks down in crestfallen despair, staring at the ground all the while knowing it does not hold the direction she seeks. A moment to take it all in, knowing a possibility has closed its doors to her for the time being.

Or has it? She looks up with one final appeal. "Could you then ask whoever you've given your heart to... If it would be ok?" She asks, not needing to define what the it in question is.

"I'm married," I try to reason with her.

"Could you just... ask?"

"...Ok," I say, wanting to let her know I really do care and that I want to help her out in whatever way I can. Not quite considering what an awkward and insensitive conversation that I have just agreed to have with Charlotte.

"... Thanks," she says quietly as she goes back the portal she came out of, leaving me alone with my thoughts. Had I really just agreed to that? So now I have to ask Charlotte if it's ok if I bang my demon ex-lover, deal with the fallout of that and then have to deal with Lilith all over again. All the while having to defeat Garland and his demon lackey Marchosias? A regrettable chain of events awaits in my near future.

***************************************

I open the door to let Charlotte back in, with a bit of tremble in my hand moving the door waveringly as she enters the room. I close the door quickly to try and hide the physical manifestation of my guilt for agreeing to say the words that will eventually leave my mouth. She sits down to hear the rundown of what just happen and I just stand there afraid to begin.

The eye contact I make with her while I try and move past my trepidation reminds me how accepting she is deep down. She will have some understanding as to why I have to ask my question, and it is just a question after all. She may be upset at it but will not run away screaming at me for asking it. So with my fear at a manageable standstill, I take few calming breaths as I let the words fall where they may.