Liberation, for Him or Her? Pt. 01

Without meaning to be snarky, I let out "Lucky you." She fled back to the bedroom, shoulders shaking and loudly sobbing. I had not intended to hurt her, it had been automatic, I just couldn't see myself "recover" any time soon.

I had a quick bowl of cereal and left for the office before she emerged again. I had a text from her towards lunchtime saying she had called in sick and would be home all day. I didn't reply.

Work that day wasn't at all onerous thankfully, I didn't think I could be very productive if my life depended on it. So,..I sat and thought about my situation, about her written explanation, about a couple of strange reactions -- my hard on while I watched her being pounded, my feeling I wanted to comfort her and yet strangle her at the same time and above all that I knew I still loved her just as much as I had yesterday morning before all things went to shit.

Yes, I was shaken to my core, but I hadn't an ounce of hate, I didn't want to hurt her never mind ruin her life. What the fuck was wrong? I couldn't possibly accept what she was not only doing now but wanted to continue and even perhaps go back to several years in the future when she was a mother to our children? Really, could I cope with her fucking other men 10 years from now, 20 years, fuck it when she was 60 over 30 years from now?

And yet, I didn't want to be without her, I knew I wanted to be with her when she was 60, 70, 80. How the hell do I sort this out, who can I talk to? Fuck I'm lost.

I slowly understood that two things were very evident, she truly does love me and me her but also she had been brave enough to expose herself at the perfect time, a time when a divorce would hurt us both, but it was early enough that we would both have a chance to recover and get past it, maybe make a new life with another person, no financial hardship either way in our marriage of financial equals, no kids, no house to sell, nothing that would damage anything but our hearts.

I suddenly understood, Christ she had been brave, she had exposed her neck to the wolf hoping and trusting that he was not actually the wolf but a loving puppy who would rather lick her to death than bite into that beautiful neck.

Had I told you she is beautiful? Of course she is, not just to me, she is a pretty girl, nice figure, very sexy smiling face, even sexier in bed, every man's dream that loves a firm body, nice tits, not huge mounds, a gorgeous ass that draws gazes when she wears the right clothing. She's perfect, I'd never ever replace her if I let her go. I knew that without a shadow of doubt.

But she loved huge cocks, was currently enthralled with one and couldn't see herself giving it up no matter what I said. She said she needed it, I didn't have one that remotely competed with that thing I'd seen fucking her. How could I live with it? I was pretty sure I couldn't, but I would fight not to let her go.

It crossed my mind that Jack was an all-round big guy and would probably kick my ass in a fair fight but what it I cold-cocked him, if I put him in hospital what would result between Jane and me? I'd never done anything like that in my life, never been in a fight, never had to, I was an easy going guy to get along with and nobody had ever threatened me. Jane was positive that Jack was no threat to me, I knew she believed that in her heart, but could I believe it? If he was giving her the best sex she had ever had, and it sure looked that way, would she not eventually move towards that no matter how much she said otherwise?

It was a little after three, I'd really done nothing to earn my days' pay but I hadn't done anything to resolve my home difficulties either, not a single decision made, it was going to be a long quiet weekend on our house.

I stumbled through the next hour and a half then left the office. Shit I couldn't even decide whether to head home or hit the bar across the street when I saw my sister Susan coming out of the bar with a friend of hers that I recognised, Trudy. I quickly crossed over and greeted them, then asked Susan, "Are you going anywhere in a hurry, I really need to chat about something?"

Susan asked Trudy if she wanted to come back in for another drink, but I told her it was a private subject and apologised to Trudy wishing her a good weekend.

"This sounds serious" Susan said as we walked back in and ordered. She asked as we took a seat in an alcove away from the people milling at the bar. "What is wrong? Is it mum or dad, are you and Jane OK?" and as my face crumpled when she said Jane, she knew. "What is it, are one of you dying, it can't be an affair, you love each other too much for that, spill brother?"

"It's Jane, Susan, she says she loves only me, but she has been fucking 3 guys with very big dicks, she says she has always had an attraction and she can't resist. She was faithful for almost 6 years, but she has fucked other guys for the last 5 months. She says it's just sex that I can't give her, it's just about size and sex about every 2 -- 3 weeks, I had no idea, she confessed by sending me a video. She has been discrete, she says she loves only me but she can't give this up right now. The whole thing is so fucked up, yet I have no idea what to do."

"Susan I was useless at work today, I thought about this all day and I'm not any further along. I know I love her I know I would be better off dead than without her, but how can I live with her fucking guys who give her sex that I can never compete with?"

My sister is a few years older than me, and she is a wise lady. She fixed me with a look that brooked no argument and said, "What I tell you stays in this bar, OK? If you breathe a word of this to anyone, especially Geoff or our family, including Jane, I may not kill you but I swear I will never talk to you again, never be in the same place as you again? We'd be finished, clear?"

I nodded at her, and she continued:

"Three years ago, a guy was seconded to our school for 6 months to cover an illness. He was the most beautiful man I'd ever seen not a rugged handsome obvious alpha, you could literally only call him beautiful, I know guys might not understand that. Anyway, after a couple of months flirting harmlessly, a few of us went out for drinks on a Friday night."

"Geoff was out of town, and he knew I was going out with friends we had arranged for mum and dad to take the kids for the weekend. Geoff was due back late on Saturday and we'd have Saturday night and Sunday until we picked the kids up to get it on together and we were both looking forward to it."

"I had not a thing in mind, no intention to cheat on my husband, but the night wore on, I had more to drink than I should have and this beautiful man just looked better and better and I'll tell you what undid me, and later undid my clothing. We were out dancing together -- I don't even want to tell you his name -- and suddenly when a slow dance came on I felt his cock against me, I couldn't believe it, it was massive."

"Later on, I discovered that this guy, who was about 6 foot tall and not massively well built, was packing 11 thick inches. Mike, I'm telling you this because I want you to know that I had the cock that night and for the next 4 months until he left our school I got it as often as I could. I want you to know that I understand exactly what Jane is feeling."

"You know how much I love Geoff, he's my whole world but if that guy had stayed around I know beyond doubt it would have killed my marriage because sooner or later Geoff would have caught me cheating and unlike you, he would not have thought twice, I'd have been straight out the door without my children and he'd have fought like hell to keep me away from them. I'm lucky I didn't fuck things up, I think I'm older and wiser and it will never happen again but I just don't know, it's not just the huge cock that turns you on, the guy on the end of it plays a part, you need to like him, you just never ever want to start to love him."

"Believe me brother, I am lucky, I'd never have done what Jane has exposed herself to with you, I'd never have had the courage, I know it would have ended badly. OK, you want my advice as one cheating slut about another?"

I nodded for her to continue.

"Mike, I understand that you don't doubt that every word she has said about what has already happened is true?" Again, I nodded, "Then why do you doubt that what she is saying about the future is true? You are worried that the sex you give her can't compete with what he gives her, right?"

Another nod, "Mike, I swear this is absolutely true. When I was getting that big gnarly cock as much as I could, I was still making love to my husband, I still needed and wanted what he gave me. It was different. One was a perfectly cooked sirloin marinated in all sorts of things to tickle a girl's tastebuds, the other was a fillet-mignon served with love. They were different, I needed one just as much as the other. I cheated but in a way I didn't short-change Geoff, I know that's pretty much horseshit but that is how it seemed at the time."

"That is what she is trying to tell you, the reality is she will not prefer him over you, your biggest advantage is that she very clearly only loves you. You sometimes hear about some dumbass slut who says she loves two men, that's utter bullshit and there is no room in any marriage for that if a man has any respect for himself. Sex is great, at our ages it is hard to live without but love carries so much more weight than just fantastic sex and that is true no matter how fantastic. You might get her to admit that her orgasms with him are out of this world, you still win out on love every time."

"So my dear brother, I believe that she truly believes everything she's told you, I believe you still love her with everything you have so what do you do? Well, the one thing that's for certain is you don't start a family. Only after you have convince yourself that you could live with it if she was still banging big cocks in 15 years' time do you even think of a family, so if a family is important now, then you decide to leave her. If you can put it off for maybe a year or so, you don't have too much to lose if you give it 6 months or a year to see what you can live with and more importantly, to see if she starts to think it's time for her to grow the fuck up and commit to you and a family and no more cumming on massive cocks, she can buy any number of huge dildos some of which you can preload with as much cum as you want."

"Brother, I'm sorry for your trouble I hope what I've said helps. I never thought I'd tell anyone what I've just told you, but I had to help you see this from a different perspective, I've got past that, she might too. I've got to go. Call me any time you need to talk again."

And with that she was gone, leaving me much to consider, a little shocked, no, very hugely shocked at her confession, but a little clearer in my thoughts and fuck yes, she did what big sisters do, she helped me get my head together.

When I got home, I could see Jane wanted to ask me where I'd been, but she was giving me my space. I surprised her with a very quick hug, hardly a second but it meant something to both of us.

The rest of the night was quiet, I wasn't ready to talk. In my head I thought over everything Susan had told me, trying to make sense of it and relate it to Jane and me. We ordered in pizza but said very little and eventually went to our separate bedrooms.

I heard her briefly sobbing before I got a much-needed sleep, lots better, my mind much less confused, decisions were becoming a little more possible.

(To be continued)