All Comments on 'Life of Mick Ch. 07'

I liked the story but have the same complaints I had with the Dex series. The erotic writing is some of the best on the site but for some reason, you never allow the characters to develop their emotional connections fully as would happen in real life. Get this is fiction, but it's more erotic to me when I can place myself in your characters shoes. Thanks for what you do! 5*

Agree this story started off slow and picked up the reading pace towards the end of the story, but it had very little in the character development department and the story only moved forward a little bit in the Las Vegas trip which introduced the Delta Force friends and the 3 hookers. (The 3 hookers could either become the main stars of a sexcentric story or be reintroduced later in a future chapter.)

Obviously the next chapter will focus on Monique starting her summer job at Mick's company with sex between Mick, Sam, Misty and Monique filling out the remainder of the chapter. Maybe some lunchtime in the company cafeteria with people figuring out that Misty and Monique are Mick's stepdaughters (which is something that will have to take place in a future chapter).

It would have been great if after the prostitutes left and they all had gambled that Sam introduced Mick as her fiance who agreed to come along as her escort and their chauffeur, then Mick disclose what company he owns. Maybe one of the guys is in a crappy job, etc... and gets a job referral from or is set-up for an interview by Mick. Or one of the guys works for a private company which becomes a potential client. By not addressing that here you have left another hanging story thread to address in future chapters.

Also, Sam has yet to meet Mick's two sons or his sister or parents, that were referred to in prior chapters. One or more of those introductions need to be made within the next four chapters.

Then there's the fact that Mick's first wife fucked him just before she left him. Did she get pregnant with a third child which Mick and the rest of his family has yet to meet?

Last, if Mick's company is as cutting edge technology wise as you have explained it to be, there has to be some industrial espionage at least trying to get at Mick's tech to either copy it and/or defeat it. You might want to think through how to insert this type of story thread into this story.

Wow, I never thought that I’d ever say this about anything that BigZeke13 wrote but this was kind of stupid and weak. This entire part of the storyline is just incongruous and not really well thought out. Mostly because there are NO female operators in Delta Force or in any other tier 1 units. I’m sure that the upcoming chapters will be better.