All Comments on 'Life's a Bitch and then You Die'

Good that he found help by a stranger! Sorry that he is so much a wimp like he is!! Normal he does not earn it!!!

So bad it was funny. This was like the summary of all the terrible cliches abbot cheating wives possible, in one place. I laughed pretty hard... thanks for that!

The non satire , non funny bone folks will begin filtering in here shortly ! Lol

Man I love your sarcastically snarky sense of humor ! The clichés just swarmed everywhere , it was parody gone wild !!! And I loved every glorious minute of it ! Lol .

This > Funny , Robot BJ'S < Funny ! ( I couldn't stop myself ) .

P.S. How's the cost of living in Racoon City ? It really sounds like a wonderful place to live !!! Lmao

Zorran. My hero. Author, you are going to get some critical comments here. Be prepared to tell them all to go fuck themselves. This was a great take of fiction. Or satire. Or anything else you'd like to call it. The only way to have made it better would be to sell the wife to a Mexican whorehouse and ship the worthless sons to a Somalian pirate ship to swab the decks and other things (when they turn eighteen, of course).

By the way, Shemp says hi

Tale of fiction. I'm a dick

As @Whackdoodle said: this satire, "Made me laugh the whole way through!"...and that is a lot...4*

the others want to know could it ever happen, TK U MLJ LV NV

Maybe someone who values reliability over concealability or large magazine capacity?

My automatics jam occasionally (rarely, but it DOES happen), my revolvers have NEVER jammed.

Of course it was, Susan was fucking a couple of douchebags instead of her husband; sexy - no way in hell. Still it made me chuckle, I really enjoyed the novel way the btb occurred. 5 *****

The revolver makes sense if you don't want the maid service to suck up a shell casing in the vacuum cleaner when they clean your office.

"The most widely supported fan theory on the "real" location of Raccoon City is Springfield, Missouri. Capcom indicates that Racoon City is a Midwestern U.S. town with a population of around 100,000 residents." (Wikipedia) This story had racism and sexism, along with traces of humor and a great deal of very dark fantasy. The ending involved murder and probably torture. We are given the set up for two pages and then, in a few paragraphs, the all-seeing Zoltar Speaks (Big) makes his decree and all is at it should be. No zombies were actually harmed in the writing of this "cult classic".

Thank you for picking up on the "Stooge" call out!

I hope everyone enjoyed.

All those LW tropes, used in a funny way. Nice touch! A couple of entertaining stories to read! It's a good day.

But, what if you were to wake up one day and check the new Loving Wives page and there was a new story by Postscriptor! Would that be cool? What if you read further and there was also one by DeYaKen, or Carvohi, or Vandemonium1? What if there were stories by all of them? More? Would that be a good day? Only if followed by fireworks, right?

Depending on the circumstances, I DO! One very big advantage of a revolver is that they do not leave spent shell casings (with identifying markings) laying around the scene.

I carry a revolver! God I love old school reliability!

I managed to make it to the part where "Tyrone" was introduced. When I saw the score for this, I knew it would be awful, but I wasn't prepared for HOW awful it would be. I guess this is supposed to be satire, but it's just so over-the-top depressing and cynical, I couldn't continue reading. No surprise to see who enjoyed it.

Sorry, author, but if this story -- in any way -- reflects your real-life views of women or marriage, I truly feel sorry for you and hope that you find happiness.

P.S. - Randi wants all of us to know that she's organizing a second Legend's Day on the Fourth of July!

In todays World a lot of Husband have no balls. They let wives or girlfriends walk all over them.

Respect yourself first my man.

Since that turd you called a "satire" bombed so badly, you have to come on here and try to shit on this guy? You seriously need therapy or something. You never stop underestimating the lack of respect people here have for you. Go check your scores, bitch.

This was a great break in the Trash that usually fills this catagory... You will get better and garner more fans I am sure.

For he knows not one.

He marches in the politically correct feminist parade of bull shit, they are not to blame only straight men are,the truth is women for the most part in western culture see men as ATMs or something to be used to get the money the need.

Is it not funny that when all the studies show the abuse in the homes between men and women is 50/50 all the swingers said those studies are lies, and the divorce rates show it is women breaking the homes up to enjoy being a slut more they cry louder.

Great story very true to the way decent men get screwed but laws and females and modern kids.

The difference between this story and your recent attempt at humor; this story is actually funny. Your story was just a thinly veiled personal attack.

I suppose that if your idea of "humor" is "bitches be stupid, am I right?" then this is high comedy. To me, it reads more like a bitter, angry manifesto. To each his own. Comedy is the most subjective form of entertainment.

A revolver for one so does the Yankee Marshall on YouTube.

Absolutely loved the story!! It's about time for the

Truth to be told!! Thank you so much. Would love to see a sequel about their lives and how Bill enjoys his new found freedom!!

Ed

dam i hope there is a 2nd part to this.

Nice swipe at selfish strayers

Could any story possibly be more racist than this one? And blackrandi1958 actually enjoyed it? Sorry but I just don't see what's supposed to be funny about this. I'm not even sure it is meant to be funny. Even the names that are supposed to be funny are old and stale jokes from the Three Stooges era. Nothing original about this. I don't get all the praise for this one.

Understand satire much?

Author was poking fun at the BBC stereotypes seen here so often!

Totally different spin and well presented. It left me wanting more although it was short and to the point. This can be considered a BTB story, but the bitch beat herself! Well Done !!!!............Don

If I painted my face black, stuck a watermelon under one arm and a fried chicken under the other, and shouted, "Where dem white bitches at?!" I don't think anyone would think that I was poking fun at racists. You have a really warped sense of "satire."

If this was supposed to be a satire of LW racists, it sailed over my head as well.

If you can't enjoy the humor in this, there is no hope for you.

I loved it! I guess some people just don't get it....

Swingerjoe doesn't get parody ? Satire ? Just good old fashion , almost slapstick storyline that a few claim not to be able to discern as just that ?

Or is it that he is pissed that this comical take on LW has met with pretty much across the board praise while his thinly veiled hit piece of 2 or 3 days ago was savaged ?

I'll sit down with you joe and explain the difference between Downton Abbey and The Benny Hill Show so's you'll know the difference next time .

We have long seen that you don't appreciate the writers who have ability to please the readers and when your A hole buddies do not back you up you go to the ANON comment ID and start carping. This writer must really burn your day. If I was like you I would switch around voting FIVES for a good writer.

And truer to life than most would be willing to admit. Well done. PS - revolvers put big holes in people just fine.

Bro, you had me there. Fuck that was a nice one. Maybe a bit too far, ha ha. What can I say, though, I like my bitches crispy :))

All you jagoffs should really look at the history of the word "racism" ooooohh....it's so authoritative...it just gives you a boner to throw it at people.

Fucking pathetic.

Why are you such a bunch of scared little sheep who can't see that "racism" is another commie jew made up word? You are so nutless that you can't call a spade a spade. It is a political program.

Don't you realize that in half of so-called enlightened Europe people go to jail when they cross their commie lawyers? For chrissakes wake up and smell the coffee or you're gonna end up like frenchmen and germans with a cinch around your balls and a son-in-law named hamid al jing-dong wong.

Lock 'n Load, Bitches!!

Joe, it depends on the context.

In the context of the hotwife/cuckold stories where the wife needs her BBC fix, yes that is racist.

In a story that is an OBVIOUS parody, it is not.

Joe, we obviously disagree a lot, but I never thought that you weren't intelligent. If you're not just joking, and the parody here REALLY went over your head, I may need to adjust my opinion.

This is so good. I will be reading again and again. Especially with all the cuckold stories on here.

I enjoyed it. Very funny. Thank you for posting. Raccoon City gets such a bad rep, you know with all the zombies and whatnot...

But there's nothing wrong with having a big bore spin gun. Cocking the hammer back has much the same effect on the person in front of it as racking a shotgun.

Otherwise, as I said, good story :)

Loved this story. Puts most of the world in perspective.

Had a great laugh! Thank you. Well written.

Please refer to the comment by swingerjoe. I couldn't agree more.

...the SHIT. FFGS: Five Fucking Gold Stars!

Assholes who only laugh at their own jokes.

how is it justice for his wife and children to do him wrong all their years together, but it's two black guys who get the death penalty? Hmmm. Maybe their families need to employ Zorran. Thanks for the story. Keep writing them and I'll keep reading them.

Absolutely loved it, Men get fucked by the legal system. It seems most women are phsyco these days and liberal women are the worst. Black guys just want to populate the world without taking care of the gang members they produce. God is pissed and I hope its quick and final

have any kids that lived?

Let's see..... break the secon "r", add to the first "r" turning it into an "h".

Zohan 😎

When the wimp cuck and evil slutwife lovers come here and whinge, moan and complain about a story that most of the LW readers love and score accordingly. Funny and a great read, good to start the day off with a smile 5+++*

...disguised as a story. All the usual assholes who dwell here are calling it "satire" or "humor" so they don't have to admit it's "dogshit". On the other hand, the truly damaged and moronic are claiming it to be fine literature with straight faces. I don't know which is worse.

Loved every word of it... Read it as the author meant it to be read 5

How's that for a wicked combo?

Yes, we've all known families that operate in ways that include these dynamics -- some to a great degree. Sad but true, I had a taste of that shit sandwich in a former life (except for the fucking around -- at least she never did that to me).

Get out! Run! To hell with the cost, it will be worth it even if you have to live in your car for a while!

I still like my title: "Life's a Bitch and Then You Marry One!"

Sure he finally escaped but who cares. He liked being a humiliated wimp. No man with any balls would have put up with that extreme disrespect. The Cunt and her worthless welfare scumbag lovers would be dead. Hell he could even claim self defense as her scumbag lovers more then likely had records. No that would have been a great ending. This was just a Pathetic story

The theory around here seems to be that everyone should be done as quickly as possible. Life changing decisions, violent reactions, and revenge must all be administered while hot... Oh well that is about the comments...... The story is interesting...

Wanted to give it 10 stars but couldn't. Great story

A 4" Colt Diamondback in .38 special. Sometimes in an ankle holster, a Colt Detective Special. Pray and spray ain't what I do!

The author wrote:

"Both Bill and Susan shook their heads up and down."

WTF? How about nodded their fucking heads? Or more succinctly, "Bill and Susan nodded." Better, "they nodded."

When you say Bill and Susan, it implies both. Both followed by Bill and Susan is redundant. Don't do that.

Nuff said!

OK, so I'm easy. Have to admit the dufus husband deserved the shit he allowed to accumulate in his life. A cute ending, but I suspect if the wife and son's cry big enough tears for long enough the poor schlep will relent and assume the position once again. You can't fix stupid.

Very entertaining story. Thanks for sharing. I am still laughing.

I suppose this is meant to be parody. Satire. In no way is it successful. Only those who have the empathy of a venomous snake could like it. I was surprised that the KKK did not come with their sheets to hang the first therapist and put the county court to ruin and burn. It is one of the worst I have read on here. So many hateful stereotype possible were included. Woman hater. Check. Race check. Hater of kids check. That the kids turned out the way they did was on him too. Ridiculous but so bad it just pissed me off. Actually it is the men who usually come out ahead in a divorce. Check the rates of poverty for women and kids before and after divorce. Free and reduced lunches in school after a divorce. What sex has the most cases of being abused and killed by spouses. It ain't even close guys. It is in the thousands. I do not trust the guys who like this shit. So I carry a 9 m. Slim and 3 inch barrel. I shoot with my 11 year old grand daughter teaching her how to take care of herself. Baton and gun. Gun now is a S&W M P .22 15 and will switch to the same model only in a 5.56 when she is able. I still have my S&W police 38 just for nostalgia that I got when I was in a gang in the 50s. Since I do not trust in those folks who hate others because of race, nationality, sex or whatever my weapon of choice for my defense is the Kel-Tec KSG 14 round capacity. It is a better weapon for what is needed now than anything I used in the Corps although there is some nostalgia for being able to group four rounds center mass at 800 yards. Oh well.

First I assumed this was high satire and parody , but after looking at today's offerings in this genre , I'm gonna reread this and try to perceive it as Truth !

Shame it's come to this , but the faggots just won't stop polluting the LW hub with garbage!

Wimp tale

Ok, I'm laughing. A lot. Ok, my sides hurt!

But I loved the 3 Stooges references! Thoroughly enjoyed this tale and I hope to read more. 5*, easy!

This is a total piece of garbage and appears to have been written by a mentality deficient old male.

Just to set the record straight, I own.....

a Beretta 96

a S&W99

a Raven in .25

and.... wait for it.... waaaaaaait.... a S&W K-Frame, Model 10 in .38 Special

this of course does not catalog long guns, shot guns, clamors, etc. etc. etc. (the last part is said in a Yul Brynner "The King and I" accent

Wow, made my day. Terrible that any person would have such low self esteem but it sure saved his butt in the end with a giant push from his advisor. I am still smiling and probably will be for the rest of the day. Thanks!

Hell yes...... loved the story, and then the Yul Brennner reference.... awesome. thank you

Come on people.... no one caught the meaning of the bus number???

Seriously, thanks for all the comments; good and bad. If I can get you to react, I am doing my job!

No1

Yowzah yowzah yowzah!!!!

It's a feel good story about righting wrongs.

Realistically many guys have to go to ground. It's our own fault. We agreed to those changes in divorce laws. Now there seems no way to get back to parity.

Yeah! Go for Zorran. We need him as a political consultant. Think of what a hard dose of reality would do to DC........ thanks for sharing.

Clearly he's old school so that explains the revolver.

This was actually really funny,, I thought it was going down a different road, but the good doctor saved the day hahaha.

The 42 throws me, probably because I am less erudite than #1spec. But I do find an Express Bus long after rush hour to be unusual! But, not as unusual as slipping repeatedly and getting your cojones caught in the drain! Especially for guys who have great rhythm.

If only someone could answer me why we are all here... if only there was a white mouse somewhere in the whole large UNIVERSE who could answer a simple question

And thank you for the education regarding the Zombie-Death-Polka genre. I never knew the origin of your title, and enjoyed all the different musical references in the song, especially since I love Klezmer and clarinet music. So...that is what is created at high altitudes...

Jackie Robinson

Actually...

The man was hit by the "Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything" from "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" by Douglas Adams.

I think it has symmetry that he is smacked down by the meaning of life.

God bless that was awful! Awful good!

I keep thinking of all those poor slobs who've really been screwed over by their wives. This story just seems to be what they need to hear.

Sure it was make believe, but who cares. I mean really.

Write some more like this and you'll be running for president... and winning!

Jedd Clampett

Yes, it was over the top and chock full of clichés. The husband is/was a complete wimp, but maybe he'll do better in the future. Wife and kids had no value whatsoever. Still, Zorran was fun and the only real man in the story. Thanks for the laugh.

you are lucky!

But I have a question. Why does swingerjoe continue to review comments about his comments? Then make anonymous comments supporting his comments. There was a hand signal in high school which explained swingerjoe's behavour, you point your index finger straight up on your right hand and stick your right hand thumb at 90 degrees! That is what swingerjoe is |_ (a Loser), lmao!

A good wheelgun will never let you down. Good story otherwise ;)

Your story has no basis in reality. What state do you live in that would let a man come into your home, assault you, fuck your wife and then punish you in court...well other than California? The only question here would have been which one of them I would have shot first. The fact this story has a rating of over four is why I give ratings little credence.

It's called parody.

This may be, hands down, one of the most ridiculous stories I've read here......I think I lost brain cells reading it.

I was laughing at the end! I assume that was intent of the story if not sorry it was to my reading pleasure!

Please keep writing and I will keep reading

I mean if it was funny or well written one can overlook the ridiculousness, misogynist and racist tone of the story. But it’s so poorly written and uninteresting! Only LW readers where it seems so many of the fans seems to be wounded little men would a drivel like this get such a high score.

You guys need to grow a sense of humor. You must think comedy is an ugly growth on humanity that should be carved out and replaced by a more sensible alternative. This story is the answer to all the husbands screwed by an unfair system that is blind to reality. The law firm of "Skrewwum, Skrewwum and Howe" was the funniest thing I've ever read. Hopefully Bill has seen the light and will take his balls from his wife's purse, take them in his own hands and get out from under the cloud of darkness posing as a wife and boys. This easily earned a 5 star.

If you don't think this is funny then you had no brain cells to begin with.

is zorran a manufactured name? slap hapy papy #9

Those that DON'T want to leave "EVIDENCE" behind.

Damn, Anon, if you hate the stories her on Lit. so much, why do you torture yourself by reading them? As for “misogynistic”, I don’t think you understand the meaning of the word. I thought the story was a little bit over the top, but that’s what satire is about, isn’t it? But there was one thing that really, really bothered me: Zombie Polka bands? Good God, what has the world become?

No comments about this being racist. A brother is dead another maimed. Great job. 5

Nice guy gets a reality check. His wife was a horrible individual, but his sons were complete garbage. What those 2 young men needed was a swift boot up the ass. Thanks for sharing no1specific.

Hey, no1...thanks for the fun addition to the pile of 'same old, same old' that clogs the files here at Lit.

I'm sure if you try real hard you can make you next story even more racist. Hard to believe, I know.

Good story about taking the shrew. A little over the top, but so are most fantasy stories. Racist? I don't think so. The bbc starring in this story are exactly the same as in any LW story, here only as sex objects for degrading "inferior"White men. Nothing degrades you like.having.your wife go dark. This time the black bullies got what they deserved.