by Lifestyle66
Sooo, I dont know if this will be the last part. But if this is actually the last part I have only one point to criticize over the whole story. Tension, or drama if you would like to call it that. You created many event where drama and tension arised but resolved it always with a change of rules, leniency or just straight laughing it away. That takes alot away from a the reader, the catharsis to be exact. Catharsis doesnt have to be destructive, if you were afraid of that, but gives the reader a feeling of satisfaction. The swinger life does have a lot of drama and conflict, like every other form of relationship and you pointed some of them out but didnt resolve it in a satisfiying manner, atleast in my opinion. Jan was racking up strikes left and right but it was always resolved with, 'I want to be spontaneous, 'I couldnt help myself', 'Are you jealous?', 'It was payback', 'At the end of the day I am going to bed with you'. Thats deflecting and not resolving. Our MC told us that they life in an equal relationship but the reality was that his wife could do whatever she wanted and he didnt care because he got his pussy or because he was lenient. Thats not how real life works, not even after being together 15 years+. Atleast here, in europe, even swinger draw hard lines for what is okay and what isnt. Breaking the rules is at the very top for what is not okay and had far reaching consequences in the relationships of the people I know and where it happend. TL;DR You weaved a fine story with a good insight into the swinger lifestyle but didnt bother to take off the rose-coloured glasses and showed us the optimal outcome without working through the conflicts that would inevitably arise and did come up.
I enjoy this well written story and the interesting interaction of the characters. Entertaining read. Cheers