All Comments on 'Losing The Fight Ch. 02'

Oh dear, premature culmination. :-( You could have run with this a bit. Looks like you got tired of it.

Hah! I absolutely NAILED the ending!! (see my Anon comment to the previous chapter). This was the only path to reconciliation.

Well done, demander. Maybe not as emotionally compelling as the first chapter, but still a good read. Please write more.

I was write he really wanted to submit

What crap….why does demander not openly accept that he is gay? Loves to suck cock and at cum? Man if there ever was a story that needed to be coated in cum this is it!

GREAT ending. Early on, I thought MC was going to turn into Mr. Black-and-White on us. Yes, people are all fucked up, flawed and incongruent. People do stupid things, but Part 1 was so well-written that it was obvious that Dak was inside Lisa's and Sarah's heads due to past history and the fact that he was a master manipulating narcissist! Not all the loose ends matched up, and like gluing back together a broken vase, it won't ever be the same again, but they both had the wherewithal to move forward and make something new and better. You made all those points masterfully. Of course, The Usual Suspects will hate this ending, because in their lizard brains, Lisa is as guilty as the whore of Babylon, irrespective of all the circumstances and mitigating factors.

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5++++/5!!! Keep writing! Cruck the fitics!!

Im so disappointed

Horrible typos throughout this piece

Even thought the he killed Dak and didn’t go to jail, taking back a wife that was determined to fuck others makes him a dumb cuckold. Would have been better with Dak dead and the main character paralyzed from the neck down.

1 star,

Left out the look on her face during the fight never got her to tell why she was rooting for dak

Fifty percent story. He killed Zak in self defense, just as he needed to. That was very much to his credit, but the he took Lisa back. I read nothing in her actions before, during, or after the incident with Ask to warrant a reconciliation. That's just my opinion of course.

I knew you were going to RAAC it !

Should have followed my intuition and not read this steaming pile of RAAC Shit !

At least I now know to not give your posts anymore of my time .

⭐

1

Sorry.

You lost me.

Pete: come in and get acclimated. You'll be staying in our old room."

Lisa: "With you?"

Pete: "Not right away. I am a cuck but Im gonna make you work for it

I can't deny that DAK was an asshole and deserved it. But still, I would have preferred he had survived but would be paralyzed for the rest of his life. Living and being unable to use his body (Fighting and Fucking) would be a much bigger punishment for him.

What the...??!!

What happened to Peter Dunning??!!

This is so confusing. I think the author is also confused and is unconsciously mixing up his stories.

I think this is a different Peter Dunning.

It is either there was a cosmic dissonance that when both Dak and Peter got hit their souls exchanged bodies -- Dak being in Peter's body now and Peter got into Dak's but unfortunately Dak's body died so Peter's soul is in limbo -- or this is not the sequel of the original post --- something like that I don't know but this sequel just took a nosedive and crashed badly.

Because Peter just turned from super dude to super weak SIMP.

This series was meant to be a cuck story all along.

I hate cuck stories.

Should have stopped while you were behind. That was just well written fucked up shit.

great start with an abrupt and poor ending

What a nonsensical cuckold farce! A cheater who turns him into a killer and then continues to live happily with him? You couldn't think of more idiocy? I think this story was developed as a cuckold story right from the start and you just weakened it a bit after the criticism after the first chapter. It is and remains a cheap story!

the ending sucked. he should not have taken her back.

she set him up to be beat into submission, how do you reconcille that.

It's interesting you wrote the character a certain way, you wrote the whole fight video a certain way, and then you betray all that with that ending! I don't mind reconciliation when it feels genuine, but this just didn't make any sense. His wife, the woman who is supposed to love him above all others, is routing for the other man. She's excited her husband, the father of her children is getting beaten up. And when it ends she goes to the man she obviously loved more. How could any man live with a person that would do that to you? Her children nearly had to grow up without a father, she nearly took that away from them and he forgives her? He must have left his self respect by that pool.

What’s the entire point of this drivel?

You can’t make strawberry jam out of shite, doesn’t matter how many times you stick your finger in and stir it around it’s still going to be shite.

Well you're going to get hammered for that.

4k words to finish off a 1st part of 16k...

The typos were horrendous, did you even press f7? You obviously didn't proof read.

She wasn't drugged when she kissed dak, she did betray him with the lies and tricks and then the kissing and supporting dak. It's obvious that if he had gone to hospital and dak hadn't she would have stayed and fucked him.

Why hasn't she been given her marching orders? It's irrelevant dak was dead, what's relevant is that she could betray him and tried even after the no to get him to agree to her fucking dak. If she couldn't control herself in front of her husband how can she ever be trusted?

Get her served and sue for custody while she's in the nut house for lolyer it should be a slam dunk

1 star

Good story except for a big cliff hangar that is never resolved for the reader. We need a chance to understand it too: Did she watch the video? What was her response?

WHY did you split this in 2 chapters? Should have posted all at once, what a waste of time! And you really NEED to edit or get someone to do it for you.

What a Bad rush ending, so Lisa Root for Dak, go take Care of him After the fight and all is forgive when she Say she doesnt know why she do that ? What a laught

A big maybe! 3*

Wow, okay. A few typos, but in the end you got there. Was it worth splitting up into two parts... that's the question. Keep up the good work and keep writing.

I liked it. 4 stars. Write more.

No real clarification on why Lisa was seemingly rooting for Dak during the fight or why she was allowing him the sexual liberties that provoked the fight. She deserved a bit more punishment for her betrayals. After all, both men could have died and she would be the one responsible . I like their reconciling, but she got off very lightly and Sara was a bitch to Jerome too.

Went from very good to total shit in 2 pages

She didn't deserve a RAAC ending.

Lisa never watched the tape, she did betray him and that was never resolved. I have no problem with a RAAC but that betrayal was was brushed under the rug. It was the main part of this chapter and it just was forgotten. Not realistic

Blech

I had high hopes for the story after the first chapter, but this second chapter was a real deflation. Somehow he kills Dak in an unrealistic way, and that killed the story. The reconciliation to me is unsatisfying. It is the author's choice on how to end, but there should be compelling background for the end. Here, Lisa lied and betrayed repeatedly and intentionally. It does not matter what her past relationship was with Dak, it was no excuse to betray and set-up her husband. I am big on reconciliation and forgiving mistakes, but I do not think a rational husband could forgive Lisa's actions. Yet, the story seems rushed to get to the end, and fails to consider how bad Lisa's betrayal really was. The author had a good story, and the writing was good, but unfortunately the story and the writing went to waste.

Sometimes a story is good with a RAAC ending. Unfortunately this was not one.

3 for this second chapter. A big disappointment. I agree with nestorb30 about the lack of resolution. Certainly at least a post-nup giving the MC total custody and all the marital assets, at any time he might wish to file for a divorce. No cause necessary. Then, a RAAC would be in order.

The story quoted the maxim “Trust but verify”. Yet after repeated lies, betrayal, and deceit performed by the wife and her “aunt”. and when the chips were down she chose the other guy over her husband. There should no longer be trust. The relationship is irrevocable damaged. Why stay with her, when she lied at every turn and conspired with others against you. Author you could have taken this in a different direction by having the MC file for separation and divorce since the fight and subsequent defense and death is a matter of public record. Her being mentally incapacitated would deny her custodial rights so in the event of a divorce the payout would be negligible. You also glossed over the legal and social fallout from the death as well as the stigma that all the parties except the MC were there for an orgy, and the subsequent fight and demise was the result of one man standing firm with his resolve against loved ones turn backstabbers trying in multiple ways to compromise his values and dignity. Yet in the end those values which he stood for and got hospitalized for and could have lost his life, family, job for meant nothing as long as one of the main architects of his predicament did not physically fuck her would be lover. She only did everything else and would have done that also if her lover had not died.

She was going to cheat. But he killed her prospective lover and DAK deserved his fate. So, this a BTB in the end. Burn the Bastard, LOL!!!!

4/5

Seems like the site admins were pushing for a rewrite on this one, and he didn't have the heart to do it well. That I understand well, when you know how it should read but admin and/or editors don't see it the same way.

Dak dead is a given, but by blood loss from his tool being bitten off. Pete was too injured to do much more than that. The wife and him divorced with prejudice, and the 'friends' ostracized. Sure, Pete may have spent some time behind bars and in the hospital, maybe paid a fine or done time for assault.

That is a small price to pay for preserving your honor and dignity. However, that is up to every man in literary or in the flesh to decide. Overall, loved it and I hope you keep writing.

Lisa betrayed him. She didn’t almost betray him. I’m glad he killed the scumbag. But then to go right back to playing “submissive” games? Grow up. He had to kill a guy because of her games. He should have dumped and found a better woman.

I see we have a regular commenter who thinks that it is the height of sophistication to repeat "Life isn't black and white", a childish cliche that became popular in the 60s and 70s. A great deal of life is "black and white". The fact that shallow thinkers have adopted moral relativism accounts for many of the social pathologies we have today. As for Lisa, she betrayed her husband in the worst way. No amount of psychobabble excuses that. This RAAC is one of the worst I've seen. It is, however, a useful diagnostic tool for identifying the demi-cucks here.

I enjoyed the first chapter, but the second chapter disappointed. Lisa is never properly explained. The reconciliation seemed contrived and had little believability based on the terrible lying plotting and behavior Lisa displayed. Sarah was as shallow as yesterday's mud puddle. MC should have logically run from contact with any of these characters, but instead, he jumps right back in. Makes little sense. -2-

At dictionary.com the word anticlimactic has a link to this chapter. A complete disappointment.

Good writing. But…

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Just HATED the plot. All of the characters are despicable….including Pete.

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Just holy shit how does any human being go along with that crap his wife and Sarah were dishing out?

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Can’t understand why he thought getting beat up was the way to Lisa’s fidelity.

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Can’t understand why he reconciled with the lying bitch after all that. Or why he could ever think his kids benefited from being raised by such a sociopathic Slut. Tne sex was THAT good? If so, then that’s a fatal character flaw on his part.

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The type of story hard to score…well done piece of shit 😎

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So…3***

Good story, moved the reader right along - until Lisa came home. No fucking way would Pete ever have reconciled with the lying, scheming, psycho bitch. She was excited to watch him get beaten up! She WANTED to fuck Dak so badly, she did everything she could to force Pete to become a willing cuckold! No, you blew blew the ending to a what could have been a LW Classic. I predict we’ll see a few rewrites if that ending, if you agree to it.

I think your writing is improving, pease continue.

Okay story that became, without explication nor explanation, inconsequential and incongruent drivel.

Not a good part 2. You almost went against the jilted husband secretly knows how to fight trope with him getting his ass kicked despite his skills, but then lost it with the fatal head but. This ending fell completely flat without the huge betrayal or the emotional impact you were setting up. And the RAAC wasn’t earned. Part 1 got 5 stars. This one got 3.

The first chapter held my interest, but I didn't vote on it until I read the second chapter to see if everything was satisfactorily tied up. Unfortunately, it wasn't. The second chapter seemed rushed, almost as though the story got away fromtyou and you didn't know how to finish it, so cobbled together an ending.

You have potential, so I hope you take my comments as constructive criticism as I'd like to see future works that I can read for free.

SARAH AND JEROME

In part 1, Sarah is adamant that she doesn't want to see Dak. Jerome doesn't want her to see Dak either. Sarah doesn't want Lisa to see Dak and is an ally. So something happened off the page to change Sarah and Jerome's mind about spending a weekend in a cabin with Dak. We, the readers, never get to see this. A change of motivation just happens. Suddenly they are at the cabin, seduced and onboard, without any hint that this could happen or even an explanation after the fact of what occurred for this complete shift. Also, Jerome is bisexual. I suppose I could handle that part alone as a nice twist to drop in, but all of it was just too much to accept without laying any groundwork in chapter 1.

LISA

This character completely fell off the rails in chapter 2. All though chapter 1 she says, "I will never betray you," like some kind of mantra. Then, she does exactly that by not being drugged and kissing Dak and rubbing his crotch, then rooting for him in the fight. I feel like this story should have been submitted in the "Mind Control" category since everyone seems suddenly to do whatever Dak wants despite what had been established in the first chapter.

We never get an explanation for Lisa rooting for Dak or having concern for him first over her husband. I thought you left yourself an out by the possibility she was drugged, but since that wasn't it, an undiagnosed mental condition is about the only answer I'd possibly accept, but you didn't go with that option either.

What you left us with is a bizarre unexplained change of behavior for three characters. The side characters I could get past, but not Lisa. Since her character pretty much drove the plot, that character should be consistent and if not, there should be a justification for why not.

I do hope you will comment in the comments section as you have in the past to explain some of this things, because it's possible I missed your intent and that stuff was somewhere in the story or at least hinted at.

No proper explanation for her actions on the video, not even a description of her watching it.

I agree with those who like reconciliation IF it is earned. The problem here is that it is NOT earned. You broke the story into 5 and 2 page sections. Why? You spent your time patiently setting up your story to leave us hanging at the climax of the rising action—literally! Now the backend is an extended coda without the resolution the story DEMANDS. Let me give two examples.

1. You want to make Pete’s submissive streak the vehicle for this resolution. Fair enough. But if you do, you have to set that up. What exactly in part one SHOWS us this side of our protagonist, apart from the occasional comment that he has this tendency that you off-handedly TELL us that others claim he has? By corollary, where is the ANGER that we know he must have at us own sense of betrayal and that he has shown a tendency to express physically in the past. If he has worked through this, show us the path! As it is, the “make-up sex” with his wife is bloodless, and even if you say it is good, described passionlessly. I would imagine that in reality, it would have been fraught with scary and intense inferiority. They act like they are both on some pretty strong anti-psychotic or anti-depressives. Your characters are just puppets dancing to your tune, and I think your story deserves better!

2. A concrete example of this lack of effort on your part as the author to motivate your reconciliation: our hero has the video and has seen it. He questions his evasive wife and asks her to view the video—because what he SEES is at odds with what she SAYS. Does he follow up on this? This take charge, confront bad things kind of guy you set up for us over pages and pages? Nope. And neither do you. And that is very unsatisfying because it goes against the internal logic of your own story. And is deeply disappointing to this reader at least. This is a story of two 5 … 5 halves. You set it up that way, and then something happened. If you are going to present Chekhov’s gun, then you better offer a decent reason why you aren’t going to use it.

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to read your story.

First Story 5*. This story 4*. I predicted Lisa's excuse of trying to protect her husband. The problem with second story it was too unemotional. Just ho hum. On these LW stories that are reconciliation, esp. for me, the angst, worry, etc. surrounding the cheating is the main part. That was missing in the second part. Nevertheless a good series. anon.1

Part one was very good, part two not so much. I think, you ended the story to hasty, should resolve the problems (the film, her behaviour before the fight, her time in a psychiatric hospital...) and not leave them like that.

First thanks for completing this. No one likes an author that doesn't end their stories. Another point is you should have posted this as a whole story not two chapters. I also fail to see any remorse from any of the three people that betrayed him. Lisa's apology was pretty much "oh my bad, sorry". Sarah claimed none of it was her fault at all. Jerome was pretty much an oh my bad also. This is why you're getting hammered on the RAAC. There's no justification for it. And NO, staying for the kids isn't an excuse. His wife and two friends totally betrayed him. I wouldn't have anything to do with any of them. There's no way he could possibly trust any of them in the future.

I honestly want to ask the author, why did you have Lisa NOT be drugged? I ask this because that is one of the only ways this reconciliation could be justified. I prefer reconciliations but only when they make sense and are deserved.

Could the MC forgive Lisa for tricking him into coming to the cabin? Yes. Could she be forgiven for kissing Dak? Yes. Could her saying she'd sleep with Dak be forgiven? Yes. All of these things are significant betrayals but could be forgiven as long as the party in the wrong owned up to them, explained why they happened, was genuinely sorry and that it would never happen again. And was willing to do whatever the MC required to regain trust.

But what can't be forgiven, or at least not easily so, is Lisa being of sound mind and actively routing for another man to beat up her husband! To be aroused when said man is about to basically RAPE her husband in front of her! Then when both pass out, to go to the other man INSTEAD of her husband!

There is no excuse for that! One of the only things that could help her case would be her being drugged. Why introduce that as an option and then take it away?

The MC and Lisa seemed to have had a good relationship prior to Dak returning and I'm not against their reconciling. But Lisa's actions before, and especially during and after that fight were INEXCUSABLE!! At the very least, she should have had to watch the tape and figure out what was happening with her. Maybe enter intense counseling to get the answer. Something!

I don't care that she knew Dak at 17. That is not an excuse! Hell, she knew her husband the next year anyway. She got off way to easy. She should have had to work much harder to get her husband back. She LITERALLY, being in full control of her faculties, wanted her husband to be hurt and raped! She wasn't just okay with it, which is still horrible. But she seemed to actually WANT it!! All because she was horny for another man!

Truly disappointing that she never had to really face up to her actions and the fate that could have befallen her husband due to her selfish desires.

Well this turned into a heaping pile of cuck shit. Obviously Pete was brain damaged and no longer has any self respect or dignity. Did they manage to hide what exactly happened at the cabin from all of their family and friends?? Highly unlikely since DAK got killed and Pete was in the hospital for two weeks. I doubt Pete's family and friends would have a very high opinion of Lisa, Sarah, and Jerome for their role in what happened to Pete. And probably less of Pete since he took all of them back so easily like the good little cuck he had become. Not quite ready to write you off as a cuck writer but you're on the slippery edge.

What nestorb30 Said.

Sorry about the typos. I have a pattern and maybe didn't follow it on this. As for splitting, I actually didn't know what might happen after the lights went out. (Although I knew Dak was gone.) Sometimes you just write and the people provide the ending. One very smart anon guy figured it out, maybe before me. He should get a name.

Just fizzled out. When I read part 1 and she said she would never betray him I took it as her definition of betrayal as in not behind his back. Her telling him she wanted DAK and her doing shit with DAK to her was not a betrayal as she announced it. Her being on DAK's side during he fight and what she did up to that point for me was too much to RAAC. She is and was a cheater and only because DAK is dead is she not still cheating. If DAK did not die she would cheat so why stay with her? What does she really bring to the relationship except her being the aggressor in sex. I mean she says that he is "her bitch"! How demeaning.

Pete was a submissive pussy after all. He may have won the battle with DAK fueled by uncontrollable anger, but he definitely lost the war in the marriage. I wonder when she'll begin pegging him and bring Jerome to help her out. Lisa was making out with DAK openly in front of him and furthermore, was going to fuck DAK that weekend no matter what. Lisa wanted DAK back in her sexual life since he was physically and mentally what she really wanted and needed. In addition, during the fight she clearly rooted for DAK and got even sexually excited when DAK was overpowering and humiliating her husband. DAK and Lisa were on synchrony; he was hard and she was wet! What's more, when both her husband and DAK fell unconscious, she went to DAK. Her actions, spoke louder than words, where her alliance was. The story was a 5* till the end, and then it wasn't. It became another romance paperback...

Went from a five to a one in one paragraph

Pure bullshit!

Ugh, the first chapters were a slog. The ending? In reality, two weeks in a coma then an amazing recovery, no brain damage and no months of therapy. Amy sane male would have divorced her. Seriously, you want that type of wife as a mom for the kids?

I suppose the end of the story fits the whole character as a submissive and being kind of addicted to her.

Was this the result of read the comments and throw together a finish?

Peter in part 2 was a different person than in part 1. No way after the way she acted after the hard 'no' would she get any forgiveness. Lying and conspiring to get him there, followed by betrayal to get him to join Even during and after her husband and father of her kids was beaten half to death, she roots for and rushes to lover boy, the final betrayal... or at least it should have been. Offering to fuck him to stop her husband get a beating might have been believable if she had been behind her husband when it all kicked off.

Being mentally unstable will only help his claim for custody.

Together this makes a good story. 5 stars.

It’s beckon call NOT beck and call…you can’t ‘beck’ anyone!

Too bad readers of this category can’t understand the meaning of “Creative Writing” and “Fiction.” Nothing happens the author doesn’t say happens—it’s his world—his universe, in it he’s god.

So, Rolando1225 you thought he wrote Pete as a submissive wimp. This submissive wimp fights a man he’s sure will probably kick his ass in hope of keeping Lisa from fucking him—and he killed DAK in the process. AND YOU CALL HIM A SUBMISSIVE PUSSY!

What part of the last page couldn’t you understand? Pete decided to forgive Lisa and they had a normal life after that—no broken family, no broken kids that he sees every other weekend.

I have to admit I wonder how many of our keyboard commandos were faced with the choice of forgive or not forgive and how their choice worked out for them. Don’t suppose any of you would write about how it really happened in your case.

Instead I see vindictive comments by folks who have been around for years and still don’t have the balls to write a story like you want to read. You could have the hubby do almost anything to wifey, just so long as you stay with Lit’s bounds and all who think like you could bestow 5 stars and you’d be a celebrity.

Looking forward to seeing your story soon.

Oh dear after a super first chapter then this crap, oh dear oh dear

Sorry, didn’t get this one little bit, with the writing not even spell checked. Can’t understand this submissive stuff when he's clearly as assertive as he demonstrates when it comes to facing even overwhelming odds, while his wife Lisa demonstrates her willing submissiveness to a guy who's clearly not from this planet, yet, a few weeks after being a drooling catatonic with Tourettes, she's suddenly lording it over her husband who wouldn’t logically touch the stupid disloyal cheating bitch with a borrowed barge pole. Can’t see these characters existing in the real world and too much of a stretch even in a fictional one.

Holy fuck!! Won't be long before Lisa has Jerome over to give Petey a good fucking. She's already calling him her "bitch". After the experience at the cabin and after watching the video there is no way a man with any balls would stay with this dumb bitch Lisa. Lit really needs negative ratings.

Don't worry about the BTB fans, we the RAAC lovers aren't like them. So what if the wife cheered for her lover when he was beating the shit out of her husband and so what if she never really apologized for her behavior(or owned it up) we are going to give it 5 stars. I'm sure all the other creampie connoisseurs of literotica will appreciate your genius too. Please write a full-fledged cuckold story next time.

Legit Cuck-yeah Nostra

LEGIO dude just stop already. Just change your man cock sucking cum swallowing faggot..

Every story no matter how bad it is you give a 5.

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This is classic demnder shit and like most everything he writes this is total shit

This is so bad. Unbelievably bad on so many levels that it's hard to believe. The first half of the story is unbelievably stupid and vile and every possible way.

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in chapter one the husband constantly says how hs WILL NEVER go to the cabin and that he won't put up with his wife going there and how he will never her choosing Dak over him

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yet he does exactly that.

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Even worse it's not like Lisa is being open and honest about it The cunt whore so called wife is lying about the whole thing from the get-go

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DEMANDER

Why talk about and present the VIDEO evidence of the wife sexually enjoying the beating and torture of her thousand by DAK… if in the end it doesnt matter ?

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Lisa comes home... walks about in panties says lets fuck and thats it? They are back together?

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Why present the devince of NO rape drugs in LISA’s body… since it proves she intentionally favored dak?

Wow did this turn into a crash and burn of epic propotions.

Literally no one would take back a wife that rooted for another man to kick her husbands ass and lick her lips looking at the asshole.

Please in the future at least put some realism into these. This was a RAAC that could never happen, so when that little voice in your head says "Wow, this is good" remember its lying to you.

You lost me. I don't mind a deserved reconciliation. This wasn't that. She lied and had no respect for her husband, faked a mental break and then dominated him into accepting her again. Both her and her aunt were evil, manipulative asshats. She did nothing, based on what was written, to deserve to be forgiven, never asked for it, and then just bowled over him and reassumed dominance. Ugh. Not much of a loving relationship.

This was beyond stupid. You took a decent character who didn't put up with her bullshit, removed his spine and turned him into her bitch.

This sucked, but that's pretty much your M.O.

What an anti-climax. First chapter was ridiculous but fun This chapter was just ridiculous -- Pete goes into a medically implausible coma, Lisa into an even more implausible semi-catatonic state.

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More grumbles : Lisa keeps assuring Pete she would never betray him. It becomes a motif. But it leads nowhere, there's no thematic payoff. Lisa admits she probably would have wound up betraying him after all.

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And finally, Lisa is portrayed as the biggest slut on two legs to ever walk the land. She fucks her own aunt! Why would Pete, or the reader, care if she fucks Dak?

I had some issues, and commented appropriately on the first chapter. While the "gaps" I mentioned before are still true, this sequel was "realistic" in that the actions and storyline were consistent with what I would expect everyone to do. The narrative was well written. I would have preferred a little more detail on what Lisa was going through, maybe the two of them watching the video and her understanding she was supporting Dad. Still, not enough to downgrade from 5*

So, you can kill your opponent and still Lose the Fight. The only winner: Lisa.

The problem is trying to sell the concept that personal responsibility is somehow subservient to emotion, temptation, peer pressure, or social conditioning. Lisa wanted to fuck DAK, period. Her marriage was not more important, her children were not more important, and her husband was way not more important. And it was ALL her fault, her responsibility. DAK got his hooks into her when she was 17? She wasn't 17 anymore. She wasn't unmarried or a stupid impressionable slut anymore. She liked fucking DAK before and she decided she was going to fuck him again, everything and everyone else be damned. She essentially admits that the only reason she's not DAK's whore now is because DAK is dead. Who says violence doesn't solve anything?

As to their reconciliation, Fine, OK, Who Cares? Her husband is her fall back option, her second choice. In her heart she became a widow when DAK died, so she let her husband take care of her and her kids; why not? If that's all the CUK can get out of life then she's doing him a favor. To bad he missed out on getting pegged by DAK's monster, he probably would have loved it.

Overall a pathetic tale of women in love with a master cocksman who they would drop their husband's for in a New York minute. God help the two poltroons when some young athletic DAK look a like comes into their lives. The two bitches won't even remember their husbands' names.

Thanks at least for killing the asshole, and thanks for the effort.

Are you for real?

Gave this a shot to see if you could redeem it after the first chapter, sadly I was wrong.

I enjoyed it. I have no problem with their recovery. What doesn't make sense is why Lisa ran to Dak and cheered him on. Especially if she wasn't drugged. She didn't want her husband hurt and Dak was hurting him. The gun was a red herring and could have been left out. It also shows some intent and then murder.

Anti-climactic but good writing form. Opportunities for interesting emotional conflicts in chapter 2 but they all limped sway. Especially reviewing the video with her.

I gave both installments 5*, though the second had significant flaws.

I found it extremely rushed, though it would have been very challenging to extend the story through all the steps of Reconciliation when the entire chapter was serving as an Epilogue.

Yes, I agree that Pete's behavior changed from the first chapter to the second, but I think it also changed when he became the primary caregiver for his children. He temporarily became the nurturer, which allowed Lisa to drive the relationship back onto familiar ground. And I dare any man to refuse a demanding pussy, video or not.

So while Lisa's emotional betrayal is emphasized by the writer, I can see Pete reconciling based on believing 1) Dak was a unique weakness that was impossible for Lisa to repeat; or 2) as the aggrieved party, he has every right to remain aloof and prolong Lisa's probationary period. It rarely hurts a man to withhold some of his trust, and they had already established that she just needed some ruthless f*cking at times. So, give it to her.

@Anonny who said he/she 'nailed it's with your comments after Ch. 1:

Yes, but having re-read ALL the Anonymous comments from Ch. 1, numerous comments 'nailed it' with comments that ranged from the length of the story to a prediction about the author's RAAC intentions. You've hardly distinguished yourself from the crowd. And frankly, Anonymous=the brutish unaccountable masses, yet you want to say you're the smart Anonny. Hmm.

Get an ID. Have the courage to demonstrate that you are a unique individual. Then when you 'nail it', someone can give you credit.

Part 2 is a BIG disappointment, it’s like you just didn’t care about continuing the story so you let it die a whimpering death. I was looking forward to seeing what happens to the lying slut, but she just got a pat on the head.

The only logical explanation I can find for Pete taking the bitch back is that he was hit with the Martian Cuck Gun!! There is no other explanation.

After reading ALL of chapter one, I found this chapter a huge disappointment. Between Lisa NOT being drugged, but acting like a slut for her former boyfriend, to urging him on to kicking her husbands ass. And then to add to it all, her boyfriend trying to bitch her husband. I'm glad his rage kicked in and he killed Dak. That was the best part of the whole story. It proved to the reader that he wasn't going to be a cuckold no matter what. Dak was just over confident, and thought he'd take Pete with no problem. And get Lisa without any issues. Well fuck you Dak, Pete killed your ass.

As for the RAAC part of it all, I personally don't know if I would have taken her back, especially after seeing the video of Lisa, and hearing her say that she'd fuck him (Dak) right now (in front of everyone) if he'd stop beating up Pete. Like you said, if Pete hadn't killed her boyfriend, she'd be fucking him instead of Pete. That was the only way to get to RAAC for her (eliminate her reason for cheating). The end seemed rushed, and without much thought compared to the 1st chapter. It had a lot of holes that needed to be filled. I mean why mention the video to her if she's not going to see it anyway. With Jerome you explained that he was "bi-curious", so that was why he could be convinced to let Dak have Sarah and him. But even in chapter 1 it was laid out that Pete wasn't going to go along with the plan, and he didn't irregardless of what Lisa wanted. Like he said, either Dak was going to bust him up (go out the gate feet first), or get his wife back (shame her into not doing anything with Dak) thinking about her husband and maybe even their children while he's hauled away by the ambulance.

Her having a nervous break down after the fight, was probably due to watching her husband kill her lover, and knowing he (Dak) wouldn't be back. A little more of that part of the story would have been better. Pete telling her to "fuck off" because he saw the videos, and knew she was pulling for Dak said it all. It allowed her recovery to start. And since Pete was in the hospital for a month, why didn't the police contact him, even though by the time he got out of his 2 week coma, they would have seen the videos. I half expected Pete to develop a friendship with his physical therapist after being bed ridden for so long (had to be close to a month). That could have been the start needed for a BTB around here. But there was no mention of any of it (his PT). Those were some of the holes left open that could have been fixed with a proof reader and not being in a hurry to "finish it". Of course there wouldn't be any Dak trouble for the rest of their lives, Dak was dead.

Chapter 2 was so badly done, that we the readers of it can only hope someone like Saddle Tramp can fix it the right way. Either make it a proper reconciliation, where she accepts the responsibility of her actions, or does a proper Burn The Bitch and corrects the mistakes. I'd say it would be a good one for Finish The Damn Story to redo, but he's basically semi-retired.

I'm disappointed she didn't have to face up to how she behaved more. She was going to cheat. She listed after Dak during that fight! She should have to face up to that.

The concept is very interesting. The actual storytelling is lacking.

That was crap and a half.

Chapter one. What happened to that?

It might make more sense if I could read ch 1,

As it’s written? It’s hard to believe that he wouldn’t divorce her, based on his injuries and the video. He’s going to put his life in the hands of the woman who nearly got him killed. She admitted to “using” him - that’s when he should have told her to leave. Pack for her, and toss her crap to the curb.

I posted chapter one and it was published. Someone complained about the age of one character. The moderator rejected it. I changed something and reposted it. It has yet to be republished. I don't know when or if it will be. D

Love your stories, but must admit that the husband character was all over the place. The only constants were his willing subjugation for sex, until it wasn't. The first 90% of the story was far better written than the ending.

Many have already said it. I'll put in my two cents as well. You messed up the ending.

First. Playing kinky sex games with your spouse (like showing a bit of submissiveness) does NOT give the spouse license to make you a submissive (and a bisexual) cuckold through being beaten physically into that role. And then having her plan on cheating on you (after you've stated "no" over and over).

And that's what's happened here.

I agree that many things in life are not always stark black and white. But when you are married and committed for 15 years. With children. And you have as many conversations as were had leading up to this weekend. And then additional tense conversations DURING the weekend. It was CLEAR to his wife that this issue was decided. It WAS black and white at that point. Her decisions to throw herself at Dak right before the fight were in direct conflict to what had already been decided. And agreed to. By her!

Why then would she act that way? Because even though it was clearly black and white at that point she decided her marriage and promises to her husband were not as important as having and orgy, getting fucked by Dak, and turning hubby into a cuckold (a cuckold that sucked Dak's cock as well). She put her whole life in jeopardy hoping that her husband would get beat down and intimidated into letting it happen. And not just once...but to make it all a regular part of their lives of having to share their wives with Dak. She KNEW what the most likely outcome to.this would be. That she might lose her husband and family. She pushed it anyway. It just so happened that in an accident her big, bad lover was killed. In the words of this character "fuck, fuck, fuck...". Yep. Whoops. Didn't turn out the way she thought.

Her complicity with the scheme to get him to this house for the weekend by lying to him. Then with her conduct on the video tape of being excited when Dak pummeled her husband, and the tox screen report showing no drugs as backup evidence? How in the world could you have thought to write a believeable reconciliation this way? Really bad.

First of all...he had brain surgery. Like the cut into his skull to relieve pressure and swelling on his brain kind of surgery. He was in a coma for weeks. His recovery time would have been much longer. His rehab as well.

When the wife leaves the looney bin (again it wasn't super clear based on the writing whether she was faking her crazy or not)...he just has her move tight back into the house? Gives her the master bedroom? And 3 weeks later she is manipulating him into sex again? And everything it back to normal? They live happily ever after?

Come on...she manipulated and lied to her husband to him to go along with being a gay cuckold...or to get beaten so badly he would need to go to the hospital and she would make him a cuckold anyway. And then her lover dies. I mean he is dead. Killed by her husband for trying to make him suck lover boy's dick. That's pretty fucking extreme.

And within a few months her magic pussy has them all back happy as pigs in shit? And they go on to live with zero further problems?

Not buying it. Not saying a reconciliation of some kind would be impossible? But it would take at least a couple of years and lots of therapy...lots of painful effort to get back to anything like the relationship they had before. That story would be worth reading. Not this one. Sorry. It was pretty disappointing. I gave it 2 stars.

I found this wife character to be extremely unlikeable. Sociopath. Pretty despicable. No remorse. Not willing to accept responsibility for first causing her husband to be beaten and almost die...and for setting the stage for someone else to die a violent death. Little advice to the author...if you want to stoke the rabid anon anti-cuck brigade here...keep writing the wives this way. Write them as unrelateable sociopaths who deserve every bad punishment that comes their way...and when they (the wives) don't get the proper fiery endings...the crowd howls.

Otherwise try and take the time when writing a reconciliation that's believable...to develop the remorseful wife...who struggles mightily with trying to actually figure out why she did what she did...is obviously sorry...demonstrates actions like a normal human being would. Who would be struggling emotionally with the normal amount of guilt that things like death and putting her husband into a hospital with a coma and brain surgery would produce.

Just my advice. Take it or don't. It's free. Just like this story was. Thanks.

was good until the ending. crap is what it is. in the end the main character showed he had none. deep down had no respect for himself.

Sorry, but aweful.