All Comments on 'Loss of Control Pt. 04'

so OTT evil, it's more like a laughable caricature. Maybe you should put this into humour?

Since the sister hates Diana so much, she should force Diana to transition, at least partially. Breast implants, high doses of estrogen, with all the side effects...maybe even a Bobbit before she's finished with him.

A cautionary tale to be sure. Has definitely not gone how it seemed it would at the beginning, which is good takes chances in the writing, also good.

The idea is good, a lovely fantasy for submissive males or dominant females but somewhat lopsided.

Tanya and Tyler are the main characters but it seems Tyler is relegated to a bit part, if he speaks it's just the odd remark or through another's perspective. More dialogue is needed and a new line/paragraph when a different person speaks, at the moment it's confusing and hard work following who's saying what.

Tyler also submits far too easily, just a murmur or grunt when his whole life is at stake. But I love how Tanya is reacting and being blackmailed by her sister is nice. Maybe write the characters (Tyler) reactions a little more realistically and more natural dialogue, he/she accepted sucking cock and gay sex far too readily and Tanya found it far too natural to humiliate and cheat on her husband.

It seems the main parts of the story are moving so fast while the small important details are ignored. Take it where you will but try to make it a little believable. Whatever, something must be right to keep us reading. Thanks, but could be huge thanks with more effort.

She didn't want to end it but she did tell Tyler that he could leave and they would get a divorce if he wanted to end the Diana thing. Well, he still loves her and was willing to go along. I was thinking when Tanya thought that she was starved of cock for the past month, now who's choice was that? Now that Tanya knows what her darling sister has a plan to end her marriage and get rid of Tyler, she is going to get into so much trouble, humiliation, and pain that she will not be able to get out. Tyler will probably be turned out at work and life. I do hope for a good ending and Tyler and Tanya are able to reconcile their marriage. Of course, I hope that Brad, Ellie, and Kyle are sufficiently ruined too. Will Stacy, Brandon, Tyler's parents, and Tanya's parents be able to avoid the mess? Stay tuned.