All Comments on 'Loss of Control Pt. 09'

And existence comes to an end without hope.

There is a saying: you can live 40 days without food. 7 days without water and 7 minutes without oxygen; but you won’t live 7 seconds without hope.

At this point, your protagonists would be slitting their wrists. Failure to allow for that is a failure on your part as an author. Considering how well written your story is otherwise, it is inexcusable to forfeit that option.

4 straight chapters of the same content. Perhaps you can write one with something new in it or simply just end this. Skimming through these for something original or that moves the plot is tedious. Thanks.

Yes they are in dispair but still thinking about escape and they are both oing to the party so they might see eachother keep weaving your story youstill have a lot of plot twists to consider who is rex and the tranny? Observer or more?

Yea. I would not say erotica needs to be 100% real. It's often better if its not.

Your writing is pretty good. Too good. The characters are pretty real and thus I start to have sympathy for them. It's pretty depressing.

...Which might be your goal.

Otherwise, its very good. Though not for me.

I think if this goes on much longer no one will read it, there is nothing erotic about this,as a fantasy unless someone is a true sick sadist this isn't it. Not badly written otherwise, but if the intent is to take it lower and lower and drag this out, few will read it. It needs hope for the main characters and will need a shitload of revenge, otherwise this is just pure misery.

356th verse, same as the first. Just hurts to read now.

I'm really starting to enjoy this series. I wasn't the biggest fan of the first few chapters but you seem to have learned a lot as it has progressed. Now it's starting to come together and I'm excited to see what happens next.

Things just get worse for them. Good story, keep writing. Maybe the negative critics should read something else or write their own. And guess what..some good stories end in misery. If you need a happy ending every single time stick with Disney books.