All Comments on 'Lost in the Moment'

My reaction to reading to the end of the first and only page of this story was that this was just a very sad, yet readable story. I can't imagine having a relationship like this and to see two people who obviously care for each other, but not enough (?) to try to see their caring through to a more permanent relationship just left me sad. Are there really people like this? I'm sure that the reaction would be that this relationship continues because of the freedom it guarantees and any limitation would ruin it. My romanticism says that this is a phony guarantee and people are made to care for each other one-on-one and this sharing is what's really unstable.

There are many, many people who are involved in nonmanagamous, open or polyamorous relationships and who have comfortable and loving relationships within those lifestyles. Just because you don’t understand it doesn’t make it sad. And “romance” doesn’t just occur within straight, monogamous relationships.

It's interesting to me that you find this sad, 'Overcritical'. For context, I was the author and everything here happened (I've only changed names).

It wasn'tsad for me in those moments and now reflecting back on it three years after the fact, it still brings me nothing buy joy to think about. I spoke to Emma on the phone for an hour the other night and she's still a part of my life; I think it's safe to say that she always will be.

I think it would be a much greater shame to have missed out on those moments with her just because I didn't know if they would last forever.

This issue here is a limited mindset and not taking the time to really think about it.

You've loved multiple people all of your life. Is your love for your mother causing issues with your love for your father? Are you jealous because they love each other too? And, no, before you start with "it's not the same", it is. It's about loving multiple people who themselves love multiple people, not the sex. Love and sex exist independent of each other. Sometimes they run in parallel and sometimes not. That's where people who don't understand polyamory most often get tripped up.

Loving multiple people is the easy part. The part that's hard for most people is evolving beyond the childish mindset of possessiveness and jealousy. You were allowed it when you were a child, so you got used to it. As you grew, "polite" society continued to allow it with regard to romance and adult relationships. The issue is that you are still a child emotionally because you were never educated, taught or compelled to lay down that "this is my toy and you can't touch it" mentality. Once you move beyond that and focus on the object of your affection instead of yourself, you realize that none of that nonsense matters and what's important is that you love them and they love you. Ten people, a hundred, a thousand...it's irrelevant as long as you love each other and them being happy makes you happy.

Instead of judging from the outside looking in, sit down with someone and have an in-depth conversation over a beverage of your choice. If you're willing to listen, you'll learn a lot.

-AA

Wow, such vitriol.

I thought it was a beautiful story. My favorite line: "We never made any promises between us of forever, but in that moment, we were always." It perfectly sums up a very complex but (in my opinion) strikingly relatable sentiment.