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All Comments on 'Louise: Las Vegas Showgirl'
by Hot_Lips_0129
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- 3 Comments
Anonymousabout 16 years agoJust a grumpy old man
But is it so hard to use either third person or first person throughout ?
Changing from Rick to I and back again distracts from the story because the reader is trying to work out what is going on.
Anonymousabout 16 years agoA bit confusing
The first pages were good, but then it seems the paragraphs got mixed up. As if some one missed with "cut and paste"
Anonymousabout 16 years agohot sex... poor wrting
the sex is hot... the writing is not. you need an editor.
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