All Comments on 'Lovers at a Conference Pt. 01'

You can’t tell me how I would act so don’t use me in your story. That’s second person. First or third. Never second.

I second the exile of second person monologes

DON'T USE SECOND PERSON!

Another piece of garbage thrown into loving wives. ONE STAR

Nearly impossible to read.

You said I did all this. I don't remember any of it, and in five minutes, hopefully, I will not remember what you wrote.

I hope I don't read any more of this.

So you want to write stories well ok . This is your first attempt just wish you had picked a different category but again this is something that a newbie always writes . It’s just a shame it’s written when these stories are basically useless the loving wife category is completely swamped with identical stories. So since this is your first time you will probably notice that the only thing making it big in the loving wife category is the BTB stories. The reason is the amount of effort that the writers put into there stories is unreal they push themselves to there limits on imagination and creativity then they have to do there research on everything to make it so that the hurt husband can walk off into the sunset with everything ( new wife kids money etc) and they have there revenge on the cheating wife and lover you get the idea . Anyway since this is a tall ask on a newbie writer I think you would be better off writing in a different category and have fun unless you want to write a Burn The Bitch story then by all means go for it. Have fun coming up with different ways of “ getting revenge “ on the cheaters and still walk away Scot free . But these stories at the moment are just plain old boring because there is to many writers writing the same stories at once.

As others have said, second person is not the way to go. Addressing 'you' works when written as a letter or message to another person, but rarely when it is a story apparently addressing the reader as 'you'. It requires an introductory setup explaining to the reader why they are looking in on the message intended for the other character.

At least here you didn't compound the felony by writing present tense as many do. (A letter can look to future activities or reflect on the past, but not be in the present.)

The story suggests that future episodes will include cuck and punishment, which may attract particular readerships within the Loving Wives community, and would also alienate others who would comment negatively. But the chances are that they won't bother anyhow because of the second-person narration.

I suspect that you are headed for a dead end with this one.

Lue

They might just step into quicksand... Oh shit, where in hell did they go?

OK, a couple of things. 1 we don't need anymore cuckold shit in LW, please don't turn this into a cunt sucking cum eating wimp ass cuckold story! We're tired of them in LW. You have options left for part two, don't fuck it up! I ain't commenting on 1st,2nd or third fucking person. I'm no writer, just a reader for intertainment only, so this story still has potential but like I said we don't need more cuckold garbage. 3 stars

I wish I could get a glimpse inside the mind of a person who would write an erotic story in the second person. Only a small glimpse, of course.

2nd person?

Really?

Maybe if you’d written it as a ‘choose your own adventure’...

another shit writer. Isn't this category polluted enough with your kind. Go away. 1* for this trash.

5-stars for the build-up.

...and another 5 stars, if I could, for poking the long-time, small-hands hornets' nest.

Sure, the tense switches could use a little work, but it was still entertaining.