Luke & Lucia Pt. 06

Whatever it was that shone out of me, there must have been some truth in what he said as there was so much modelling work on offer I could pick and choose what I did. I did love modelling. I had such a rapport with the clothes I was a natural. I loved them, they excited me, and they still spoke to me! After one shoot the photographer asked if I wanted a drink which was unusual. He eventually brought up the subject of a transgender model called Paris Lees and said that I had a similar look, albeit taller with dark hair. It was so out of the blue, and such a compliment that I blushed. He then looked me in the eye and said.

"It's a shame as I reckon I could get you loads of top-end work if you were transgender, it's a real zeitgeist in the fashion houses right now, so edgy and PC. I hear that a lot of actual girl models are secretly getting a bit fed-up with it."

I held his gaze.

"But you do know I'm trans, don't you?" I said, putting my Aperol Spritz down and giving him a quite intense look as I gently shook my head, my hair brushing my red cheeks.

"No." he said, almost apologetically but with a transparently phoney look of surprise, "but there was something I overheard you say last week and it did make me wonder."

I didn't push him on that. I was more interested in where this conversation was going.

"OK, well, I'm glad you know," I said, nonchalantly, "I have no problem with people knowing, but it's not something I brag about, or even talk about to be honest. I guess if it can open some doors, that's a good thing and if I have to start being a lot more open about it, then so be it."

The photographer laughed.

"Open the closet door eh!"

I gave him a long icy stare and watched him melt in embarrassment. He was too old to understand. Then I smiled.

"Something like that honey," I purred, "but that sort of thinking really needs to be drowned in the dock, just like Colston's statue." I reached out and took his hand.

"It's fine, honestly. Just prove it to me and get me that big break if you are so sure about it. You've been really good to me."

I leaned over the table and kissed him gently on the lips before he had time to recover and unfreeze himself from my rapid change in attitude.

"I will!" He said, defensively, "I absolutely will. Lucy Rawlings is going to be a new face of fashion," he paused, "but you may need a new name."

"Lucy stays. Rawlings stays." I said. The thing was, I loved being Lucy, Lucy was the name Kate had given me, and my surname was inviolate because it was a perpetual reminder of my parents. It was really all I had left to give anything back to them. He shrugged.

I swiftly finished my drink and excused myself. I had left him unsure, hopeful, and with a need to prove himself. Lucia had told me that was always the best way to leave a man in her experience!

A month later I was in London signing a contract with Shimmer, a London-based cosmetics house. Kate came too and, although she was really pleased for me, she could see that our lives were taking very different routes. This was something I was oblivious to as I was being swept up in the moment. We stayed in the Ritz courtesy of Shimmer and I had to do a photo shoot. The make-up artists took hours and Kate went shopping and bought me a new bag. It was much bigger and more fashionable than that first handbag she had bought me and which I was literally never without, despite its considerable use and somewhat tired appearance. It was the perfect upgrade from the perfect person.

The Ritz was ridiculously posh and over the top and, despite our humble backgrounds, we both loved it for what it was, but for Kate it spelt trouble. When we got back to our suite, both tired and a little emotional, Kate told me how she felt: told me that she feared we would drift apart.

I froze in horror and felt myself staring at her. I recovered my senses and rushed over to the desk, picked up my old hand-bag, the one we had bought together all those months ago, and pulled out a piece of paper. I held it up, grasping the top firmly between my outstretched hands.

"I'll tear this up here and now if you really think this will come between us!" I shouted, tears, running down my face. "There is nothing, nothing in this world I will allow to come between us."

Kate burst into tears too and ran over to me. She took the contract from my hands and put it down on the desk, straightening it and putting it back in the folder. She looked up at me.

"Oh my God Lucy, you have no idea how much I love you!" She said, choking back her emotions and throwing her arms around me. I felt exactly the same. I would have torn it up. I really would! She knew that.

We fell into bed and made love. It was a very special type of lovemaking because although it was urgent, it was not about the moment. It was charged with the strongest most permanent emotions ever and was completely about the future. We used no contraception.

I had to tell Robert that my contract meant I could no longer work at the Chateau any more. I was suddenly very grateful for that non-disclosure agreement we had signed, because, although I trusted him, I could not necessarily trust the others. He was stoic about it as he could see it was good for me and we remained good friends. The modelling thing was hard work, but we got to travel quite a bit and both loved that. Kate had to go part-time, but she had also decided there was something else she wanted. It was something I had begun to want too and she knew that. One quiet evening she revealed that she was carrying our first child.

We had just celebrated our daughter's first birthday and Lucy was already pregnant with our second child. Just when you thought that the fairytale had reached its natural finale, I received an official-looking letter. It was from a lawyer so I was intensely worried and my heart was pounding as I opened it. My deepest fear was that it was something to do with my modelling contract and someone had leaked stories about my past. I read it quickly and ascertained in the first few lines that it was nothing to do with my contract, and then, on reading it more slowly, I saw that it was everything to do with a share.

I had to read it three times before I understood. The US army wanted to use Simon's ruggedized computers exclusively and an American company wanted to buy out his business and intellectual rights for sixty million dollars. I was getting three million dollars for that one single share. Simon had gifted me three million dollars that day. I rang him and cried as I told him I could not take it. He calmed me down and said I could give it to charity if I liked, but the money was mine and I completely deserved it.

Kate and I bought a lovely house and invested the rest of the money. I was so ingrained in the modelling work that I could drop in and out of it as I needed. I was offered a role on the television, but I declined as I knew it would be too much work, but I did accept the offer to be a contestant in Dancing with the Stars. I was the first transgender person to feature on it. I felt I had to do that for all of us and, to be honest, it was an amazing experience even though I didn't win.

Of course I kept in touch with Simon, who was now married, and spent half his time at an amazing beach house in Thailand and the rest in Bristol. When I told him that Kate and I wanted to get married and had thought about tying the knot in Thailand, he said we could use his house and that his wife would organise everything for us. Simon gave me away and Danny gave Kate away. The actual ceremony was on the private beach with a background of strange fantastical limestone islands. We could have sold the story for a small fortune, but we kept it private and intimate and were thankful for that.

The years have passed and we now have two lovely daughters who have two proud and doting mothers. Every year we holiday in Thailand for a month in the winter and Bari for a month in the summer. Simon is always so pleased to see us and makes such a fuss of the kids. We also invested in the Lucia's father's hotel when he hit a bad patch and it is now flourishing. Lucia, her dad and Danny are so happy to see us and the children and love following our adventures. I still do modelling, and I published a book under a pseudonym that sold very well. I've been offered a big advance on my next one. Kate still works part-time, but for both of us our children always come first.

I often reflect on how there was something so magical about the way my life changed upon arriving in Bristol. Some chance events and challenges gave me an opportunity to explore my deepest feelings and led me to this extraordinarily happy place that I was now in. I recognised that there had been Luke, Luca, Lucia and Lucy along the way. They were all such lovely names, but hinted at another word describing something that I had been blessed with by the shovel load. I recognised that after the dreadful loss of my parents, I had been so lucky to have had so many people care about me and support me.

Whatever name I went by, one thing never changed. I had always been lucky.