All Comments on 'Michele'

Yummy, so sexy and hot - just like you and Michele xxxxx

I hope you enjoy reading my stories but I'm offering my erotic tales for free, sharing intimate thoughts and feelings, If my spelling errors upset you don't read me again, simple, acting superior correcting small errors says more about you then me. They are not a book report constructed so every word is perfect, I have a tumbling out style writing from emotion. I love feedback even the harsh comments from the grammar police "English must be your second Language" being the most cruel/funny. What would be helpful to acknowledge though is not only are some of these rules the grammar police hold so dear incredibly capricious, they’re also constantly changing. The thing that is oft overlooked is that as language changes, as it naturally does over time, the rules that govern it should change as well.

short and to the point,not really my cup of tea but will written..was kind of hoping for more back story, but this is good

Good bit too short. Would have liked her to be fucked & return the favour

I've read a couple of your stories now, and I think of them as lost opportunities. It's not bad that your narrator wants to be humiliated and controlled, but **in a situation where one character is giving up all power** there can be no conflict between the characters, and thus no resolution without creating another sort of conflict, another plot.

And you begin with the question, "Did I really just say that?" and move on to the question, "Standing before her naked, head down as instructed, scared and excited why does this turn me on so much?" Either of these could have been the basis for an interesting conflict not between characters, but within the narrator. Yet the narrator doesn't even attempt to answer those questions. Okay there's painful anal, but how does the painful anal help the narrator answer her questions? You call the dildo a cock, but how does that help the narrator answer her questions?

You ability to write details into your sentences as if with a careful eye make it all the more disappointing that you're not providing anything meaningful. This fuck is like every other fuck the character ever had and ever will have: nothing changes, nothing grows, nothing is ultimately meaningful. You start the narrator obedient: "Yes, MAAM!" and end with the character... obedient.

There are sex words on the page, but there is no story. There are plenty other plotless stories on Literotica, and I usually don't bother to write a comment about them. But that's because the authors of those stories don't have your potential, don't have your facility with words. They're not disappointing, because those stories are often bad at **everything**. You're not. You have the potential to write a good story, but with your characters beginning and ending in the same place you make your writing ultimately meaningless. And with your talent, that is disappointing.

Thank for the wonderful feedback means a lot XOXO