All Comments on 'Mind Writing Pt. 06: Rebecca'

Holy crap that was so hot and kinky and loads of fun to read. You really did a great job showing off people’s warped and wild sides. I always find the holier than thou attitude to be hilarious when it is shown to be a hypocrite displaying it. You showed in an kinky way that power does indeed corrupt and absolute power corrupts absolutely and what could be more fun than that.

He can adjust mental thoughts and desires but basic physiology remains the same.

Rebecca and Matt would be in egregious pain. At some point, she simply wouldn’t be able to produce any lubrication and they would be dry fucking. They will get friction burn, the lactic acid will build up in their system causing their muscles to seize up. Ab muscles would tear. And for what? Why put them through pain? Only a sadist would do that to another person and sadists aren’t good people.

Actions have consequences and the story is in those consequences. Unending pleasure gets blurred because like every drug, you build up a tolerance over time and you need something stronger.

And it doesn’t end until you’re Jeffry Epstein, dangling from a noose in a prison cell.

Oh I support. I definitely support. So, who shall they ruin next? Cant wait to find out.

First of all, great series, well written, well plotted, and with plenty of room for more development.

Second, I'll never understand people like "Whackdoodle" above. This is a fantasy site, dude. People come here for fun, to have those with a creative spark, who can write, people like Danni_Iridescent create stories for the amusement of others. If that's not what you want, don't read these stories. Write your own, rather than tearing others down.

Hey @Whackdoodle

I honestly don't mind the constructive criticism, and I don't like to be 'that person' but, like, did you read the ending? They're not gonna 'go on forever' or whatever.

[SPOILERS, by the way]: 'For a moment, me and her were silent as Matt and Rebecca continued their pathetic attempt as fucking, before I had them cease. I told them both to sleep, and they did - Rebecca still tied up, and Matt in a naked ball on his cum-soaked bed. '

The story takes place over the course of like a morning, so I doubt they're going to be tearing ab muscles or getting friction-burns.

You're right in that a story is the consequences - but I'm interested in following my protagonist's emotional consequences of his actions, which is what the entire series has been about, as opposed to misreading the treatment of two side characters, and asking for THAT to become, for some reason, the 'story'. Jamie has confronted his actions, and admitted fault, and relapsed on temptation, and sought out someone to check him - /those/ are the consequences - /that/ is the story. The sex is just the connective tissue.

Feel free to comment on anything I put up - it's a public site, go nuts - but please remember to be respectful and informed, and not to compare my characters (or me? I think??) to /Jeffery Epstein/ because I wrote an story on Literotica.com you disagreed with morally.

I've been following this series but missed this chapter until the next one dropped...so I came back to catch up. This was incredibly hot. I like your concentration on Jamie's efforts to use this power without just laying waste to everything around him. It's the emotional depth which takes it from just another story to the next level. Please keep up the good work.