Miss Enid Kirkwood’s Academy Pt. 02

"Yes miss!"

"Oh, Nelly one thing can you touch type?" Miss Hunter asked flicking her ash yet again then pulling hard on the filter.

Nelly's head wobbled, her eyes glazed over with confusion "Not at this very moment," she shook her head a little too violently "miss, as I'm a little beyond drunk now," she giggled "not sure I could turn the 'puter on if I tried!" she chuckled and almost hid her face behind her full glass and tapped her fingers against the glass un-rhythmically.

"Hmmm, yes, we need you to practice for the after the pub lunch work session. It's very important, I will get Miss Turnaware to give you some private tutoring."

"Pardon miss?" Nelly stared bringing the glass back down with disbelief on her face through the smoky and drunken haze.

"This academy is all about preparing you for the outside world. Especially the one where you will go for a business meeting in the pub, and like now, have one...two...or one more too many to drink and then come back to the office a bit late, so you are sat in piss wet knickers and tights because the conversation was so enthralling and you have to try to sensibly finish off the workday before staggering back to the pub afterwards for dinner and another drink. You young girls like you need to be able to still type and work straight between the drinks. As you will know and seen I have had years of practice!" she grinned and then gulped down her wine and sighed loudly.

Both jumped and sloshed their wine spilling it down the sides of the glass and over themselves as they both looked to their left as there was a loud knock on the door.

Miss Hunter shuffled up in her chair slightly wiping the wine from her breast and then suggestively licking her finger. The rusting springs and mechanism creeking as her weight moved around, she hacked a deep cough to clear her throat, "Enter!" she then boomed.

The door flung open overly quickly as Veronica fell through it having leant forward to open the door with her elbow, she tottered and staggered into the room in her red high heels, her short skirt flashing her bare crotch with every shuffle as she attempted to carefully carry a large glass bowl full of melted cheese covered nachos in both hands. "Evening miss, evening Nells," she smiled at both of them whilst still appearing to be her immaculate self, with her slicked back hair and perfect makeup as, and then stepped to the right unintentionally "sorry to interrupt, but as requested I have brought your early evening snacks from the kitchen."

"Excellent Veronica, you are a star, is it really time for my evening snack already, that is very good, time! Time flies when you are having fun, doesn't it gels?" Miss Hunter grinned as she glanced at Nelly before looking back at Veronica "I used to have late night snacks, but as these things go, I fell asleep for I could eat them, so now need them much earlier in the evening!" she chuckled to herself "Don't waste them that way." Before groaning as she attempted to push her fat legs down on the reclining chair, only for the mechanism to fail to click and send her flying backwards with a yelp into the reclined position, whilst still managing to save her wine. Both Veronica and Nelly stifled a giggle and shared an eye roll as Miss Hunter huffed as she fought her legs back down to the loud click to get herself sitting up right as Veronica wobbled forward and placed the large bowl down on the wooden coffee table before instantly pulling her skirt back down her slim legs.

"Is there anything else Miss?" Veronica asked as she unsteadily wobbled on her too high heels trying to stay in the same place.

"You can join us for a drink or two if you would like, have a sit, before you fall, you really shouldn't wear those ridiculous heels!"

"I'm ok miss!" she wobbled on her knees again. "I'm good at it!"

"Well, anyway, I am thinking of previewing this weekend's movie we have choice of films of 'Doris Does the Gardening' or 'Lucinda Writes a loving Letter to her pen friend'?"

Veronica snorted as she swayed "Well, I would love to stay Miss, but if I sit I don't think I will get up again, and its Dot H's birthday in B wing, and well I really ought to have a couple more drinks with her" she giggled "Afterwards, I still needs to do the sobs rounds" she grinned and pulled a shiny stainless steel hip flask from hem of her skirt and took a couple of swallows and then whilst stuffing it back in the elastic, it twanged against her skin before staggered slightly to the left grabbing the open door as she went to stop herself going any further.

"You are a good Gel for me, you must tell me in advance about these birthdays, I would have said something!" Miss Hunter grumbled.

"I thought I had miss?"

Miss Hunter shook her head apologetically "Sorry, I must have forgotten on this occasion!"

Oh, Miss its Jenny Harris's birthday on Monday."

"Oh, wonderful, can you remind me tomorrow, I will never remember now?" She tutted dismissively and gulped more of her wine.

"Yes Miss."

Miss Hunter nodded as she yet again hauled smoke through her cigarette into her lungs, exhaling a vast cloud into the room, "One more thing Veronica, how is the research for the Christmas quiz going?" She asked before coughing loudly and instantly putting the cigarette back between her lips.

Veronica nodded and staggered again "It is very difficult to find the time miss, plus it's very complicated for me to understand everything in the library whilst a little drunk miss, the words keep swirling and jumping around, but I am trying!" she looked a little guilty.

Miss Hunter nodded as she pulled again on her cigarette, "Oh, I know the feeling, anyway when you eventually get on sobs round, you can already tick Nelly off your list, I can personally vouch she is drunk and will soon be drunker!" she smiled and took a good gulp of her wine and then looked at Nelly for confirmation.

Nelly nodded and quietly took an equally large gulp of wine. "Yesh, I am!" she grinned as she banged her glass down accidently on the coffee table and pulled a cigarette out of her pack on her chest and then proceeded to try and light it.

"I will see you tomorrow miss!" Veronica stated as she swayed as she attempted to grab the door handle.

"I won't be early, have fun with Debbie!" She shook her head and tutted, "I mean Dot, we might have fun with Debbie!" Miss Hunter grinned and waved as Veronica then turned and almost collided with the door she was holding as she pirouetted before correcting herself and headed correctly through the open gap, pulling the door too with an overly loud slam on her way out.

Nelly looked on with confusion.

"She will teach here next year, I am sure, need to remove the heels before she breaks her ankles, but she is goodun even when very drunk!" Miss Hunter mused out loud as she reached for the bowl of nachos and then with cheese drooping off them started to noisily crunch on them. "Eat and drink up!" she declared with her mouthful, the crumbs falling on her bare skin below. She picked up a couple of crumbs dropping several back on her chest and pushed them in her mouth.

"I will do miss!" Nelly leaned forward and stretched across to the table retrieved two of the cheese laden nachos, just about getting them between her lips.

"I forgot to say," Miss Hunter shuffled back up slightly in the chair dropping heavy cheese laden crumbs on her chest as she did, so she could look at Nelly "you have done excellently well in Smoke Trick class, I know it was difficult to start with, but when you have a cigarette between your fingers, the ability of using the smoke to your advantage is a must, I pride that my gels leave here with the best smoke rings, snap inhales and French Inhales in the country."

"Thank you miss!" Nelly smiled as she pulled on the cigarette filling her mouth with smoke and then with a sudden jaw movement let a successful train of smoke rings travel across the room.

Miss Hunter quickly did the same, and for the next two minutes their two smoke filled rings crossed in the middle of the room.

Miss Hunter finally stopped and took a drink "Good gal! How's the end of year inter-wing hockey prep going?"

Nelly laughed hard. "Miss, we can't hit the ball thing very well at all it keeps moving faster and straighter than we can move!" she giggled and gulped her wine, "but Miss, we are very good at leaning on the sticks and having a ciggy break at the breaks!

Miss Hunter smiled and nodded "Ah, yes that does make it more difficult, one has to make sure you are wearing shin pads." She nodded thoughtfully to herself "I think we might cancel that one...again, we used to have inter academy games" she mused, as both of them rubbed their legs as they instinctively thought of the pain "But we always lost."

"Oh, okay miss, I thinks that might be good idea to cancel that miss, we are useless!" she nodded trying to sound sober and informative.

"It is, right, I need to remember to postpone it" she grinned.

Nelly nodded "Yes, Miss!" and she brought her drink to near her lips before adjusting to get it straight enough to drink from.

Miss Hunter made a thinking noise "Nelly you wait until the summer!" she grinned.

"Why Miss?"

"Croquet on the lawn, it's lovely, sun is out, our jugs are out, also some full of Pimm's, its delightful." She laughed and the pulled on her cigarette.

"Oh, yes miss, sounds amazing!" she grinned.

***

Nelly flicked the lighter twice and shook her head and then hand and then tried a third, then a fourth time, finally getting a flame on to the tip of the cigarette protruding from her lips. She pulled hard, exhaled and then looked across the room and giggled as the very naked Miss Hunter staggered across the room sideways. "Youse okay miss?"

"Yesh Nells I is!" she said slurry badly whilst attempting to be authoritative from the corner of the room she had ended up in as she grabbed hold of the lamp stand and swayed with it as if she was singing into it. "I wasss just having a little piss over there, as youse do," she pointed back at her chair "then going over there to the kitschen" she pointed in the opposite direction "for more dinkies!" she said shaking her head whilst looking across the room as she stood in a puddle. "I was meants to goze zat way!" she slurred attempting to point to the opposite corner of the room unable to hold her hand up for long.

"Does mish wants help, ours weese hash mades zee floors all wet?" Nelly asked between giggles before putting the filter back between her lips and taking a very short drag before exhaling and then instantly bringing the filter back to her lips to take more smoke.

Miss Hunter shook her head "No, no, no, youse stay just there and enjoyz your smokes." And she let go of the lamp stand and attempted to move back across the room grabbing hold of the back of her chair as she got there. "See I'm very okays!" she grinned as she slipped slightly in the large puddle on the floor before staggered towards her kitchen.

Nelly exhaled a cloud of smoke and paused as a hissing filled the silence of the room, she moaned as she enjoyed the warmth between her thighs as yet again her urine again splattered and gushed as her pee spread between her bare thighs and pooled briefly on the leather before tickling as it trickled between her buttocks and down the back of the reclined chair on to the floor. "If youse are sure Miss?" she stated once finished to the empty room before putting the cigarette back between her lips.

"Youse just stay there, isewel gets ourse littlsch night caps drinkies!" she shouted overly loudly back from the kitchen area between overly loud bangs of the cupboards and noisy clinking of glasses.

Nelly nodded as she closed her eyes and pulled on her cigarette yet again as even in the darkness of her eye lids the world in unison danced, swirled, and spun with the smoke.

***

An hour later with the recently opened bottle of whiskey and half empty glasses sitting in a puddle of split alcohol with floating ash gently moving across the coffee table and dripping on to the wet floor both women were fast asleep snoring very loudly on the reclining chairs as the untendered fire with its flickering flames slowly and quietly died out in the hearth in front of them.

2- Saturday Afternoon

After spending a good portion of Saturday morning curled up in defensive ball hugging Miss Hunter's sparingly used private toilet as if her life depended on it. Between urges, guzzling water as if she was a fish who had spent at least thirty seconds on dry land.

Once she had woken, Nelly had to run to the bathroom, the fastest she had moved in a while whilst asking for directions from a stirring Miss Hunter midst urging, coughing, and spluttering, within seconds after waking up still on the reclining chair.

She had convinced herself whilst kneeing in front of the bowl of vowing never ever to drink whiskey ever, ever, or even ever again, it was evil! Then with her stomach empty, she borrowed Miss Hunter's shower for a quick wash seeing as it was there and wasn't draughty and had a curtain and everything ready for one. She was a mess and very much needed to wash herself and her hair, it was delightful, her first private shower in months, she had to kneel in the bottom of the tray, she still couldn't dare stand up straight for the fear of falling over. She just enjoyed that wasn't in the cool draft filled hallway at the end of the dorm. It allowed her to tidy up her matted chair hair, and then enjoy being wrapped in a nice warm fluffy white towel off the warm radiator, and then offered a nice hot coffee, along with equally nice, and rather deserving large vodka and orange juice just to help settle her stomach a little whilst eating delightful grease filled fried breakfast freshly made by Miss Hunter in her tiny kitchen. Then afterwards sitting there as the time past slowly, saying very little to each other as they made their way through half a pack of cigarettes each. As the equally tired, old, and hungover Miss Hunter leaned her head against her arm across the table opposite smoking like a fiend, whilst they both very, very, slowly woke up,

Eventually, buzzing off the copious amounts of coffee, vodka, and nicotine, they had then eventually seen that it was time for Nelly to make her way back to the dorm but detoured via the canteen for quick lunch of three slices of dried toast and a single glass of white wine.

As she made her way back the dormitory the loud chatter from the girls asking where she had been and done, and other responding to her friend Mel "getting very drunk and failing asleep" there was nothing else to say, and along with the headache the chatter from the other bored girls unbearable, along with the wolf whistles and sticking their tongues between the vee of their fingers clearly suggesting that she was getting it on Miss Hunter and singing the awful childish 'Miss and Nells K.I.S.S.I.N.G. in a tree' song.

A little while later whilst hiding on her bed with the pillow over her head trying to block everything out of her still gently throbbing head, her bare foot got tickled.

"Oh, fuck off!" she shouted and then coughed hard and threw her pillow at whoever was the offender before leaning across and grabbing her pack and lighter. Without really opening her eyes, she lit then hit on the cigarette and exhaled a cloud of smoke in the direction that the pillow was thrown.

"Oh, come on Nells, its good news for you!" Veronica snidely said from the edge of the bed as she ticked her foot again holding the pillow across her chest.

Nelly coughed again and pulled on her cigarette "Veronica I feel dead, nothing is good news!" Nelly groaned. "And please don't tickle me, I will piss the bed!" She grizzled.

"What again?" Veronica laughed "Anyway, Nells, for some delightful reason Miss Turnaware now wants to see you!"

Nelly huffed, "I don't want to see anyone, its bloody Saturday, isn't it?" she replied stroppily then placed her cigarette in her lips and opened her arms offering Veronica to throw back the pillow.

"You must have done a good job with Miss Hunter!" Veronica winked and then thew the pillow back at Nelly, it just about missed her cigarette in her mouth and as it landed back across her naked chest as smoke billowed out of her nose and mouth.

"I really, really, didn't do anything!" Nelly yet again defended herself.

Veronica nodded then grinned, "I know babes, we have all been there, it's a little test she sets, after I left you guys, did the Whiskey knock you out?"

Nelly looked intently with confusion at Veronica. Her eyes trying to read her trying to work out how she knew. "Yeah, out for the count!" She finally admitted.

Veronica smiled knowingly and winked "Good on you! She likes you. Right, have fun with Miss Turnaware this afternoon, she is amazing drinker and smoker, and I think rather gorgeous to boot!" she winked again as she purred.

"When?" Nelly stretched before putting the filter back between her lips and studying Veronica's face as she hauled the smoked into lungs.

Veronica shrugged "When you're ready to!" she stated with her billowing exhale.

***

Nelly had got up, and dressed again, making herself vaguely presentable again and made her way back down the wood panelled staff wing hallway with a little bit of nervous apprehension, she eventually reached the dark varnished wood door with a large white number nine painted on it. She again shuffled her blouse around checking her pack was there, and then tugged at her skirt, took a deep chest raising breath as a drag on her cigarette, exhaled, and then nervously knocked on the door.

"Hey Nelly, come in!" the soft voice came through the wood.

Nelly opened the door and blinked as it was a much brighter room, compared to the dark hallway, it was also smaller but a mirror image in comparison of Miss Hunters room opposite. The curtains and windows were all open, with sounds of birds chirping and a gentle cooling breeze flowing though the room. Miss Turnaware was lucky, she lovely view looking over the rather unloved playing fields, the long grass and thicket of weeds certainly needed cutting.

Nelly looked back across the room to see a fresh-faced, and clearly recently showered, Miss Turnaware who was curled up in a ball her feet on the edge her dark brown leather sofa, her long red hair up in a ponytail, the end of which was draping down off the arm of the chair, her bare cream coloured white legs up under her chin flashing her red thatch which was poking out contrasting between her thighs and the obviously wet pink cotton pyjama shorts that she was wearing. She had an open a James Patterson novel in one hand and a burning cigarette in the other. She looked up, smiled, rubbed her lips together as folded the top corner of the page over and then closed the book putting it down on the coffee table next to a mug of steaming coffee, swinging her legs around so that her red painted toes were grounded, highlighting her large double D chest just about contained within a yellow bralette top and her small curvaceous belly with a little glass emerald pinned in the belly button, all which squished up when leaning over as took one last longing drag on her cigarette before energetically squishing and stubbing it out in the large glass ashtray on as the smoke drifted out of her nose.

"Err, hello, afternoon miss." Nelly said as she stood in the doorway nervously and took a drag on her own cigarette.

Miss Turnaware waved her hand through the smoke dismissively "Fuck it, It's the weekend Nells, call me Tracey, and please, god's sake, don't stand out there, come in!" She grinned as she patted the empty space on the sofa beside her. "I've wiped it for you!" she smiled and picked up the coffee and took a gulp.

"Okay Miss...Tracey, I mean Tracey."