Miss Enid Kirkwood’s Academy Pt. 02

There was a giggle from the girls as she bounced on the opposite wall before staggering closer to them.

"Youse needs to turns the hobs on Tabitha, its wonts boil withs outs heat!" she giggled and waved her finger around as her hips bounced along the counter ignoring that she had lost her skirt.

"Nells and Mells, wells done!" she nodded after checking the hob was on and the pot was on the right one "Have as nuffer drink and a schmoke whilst waiting, as I will!" she stated as she bounced off the counter and staggered further around the other girls before making her way back to the front of the room and fumbling with her pack of cigarettes, eventually getting the filter between her lips and a flame from her lighter. She exhaled a cloud of smoke and then lifted her lid on the pot and nodded as the girls in front of her clattered, chatted and coughed.

"Girls!" she shouted to get their attention, she coughed and leaned forward on the counter trying to be serious and sober "In your drawers in fronts of you, no, pease Tabitha, not your period knickers Tabitha, we doesn't want to see in there, ever!" she giggled very girly way failing to be sober, "the cupboard drawers' girls, you will find what." She giggled again "I calls the..." she tried to stifle her giggles and struggled "the cock..." she giggled and spluttered again "...measurer. I know I like girth, so should all aim to find a man with his cock big enough for spasketty for four!" She laughed loudly at her attempt at humour before remembering her cigarette between her fingers and taking a drag, exhaling, and then dropping the butt in the sink. She then rummaged around inside her drawer.

Miss Andrews giggled as she produced a metal spatula, with numbers 1 to 4 alongside increasing larger hole sizes she waved it around successfully before looking aghast. "Jennie do not use the rolling pin for that now, it is fun by the looks of it, but you mights get a splinter!" she grinned then sighed loudly and watched what was unfolding in front of her. She pulled another cigarette from her pack and got it alight, and took a deep suffering drag, exhaled, and tutted at what she was watching. "No Tabitha please don't hit Sarah's bottom with the spgeshi, sketty measurer, however much she might enjoys it." She was then silent and picked up her wine glass and gulped her wine as the girls giggled and laughed at each other as they all took in turns shouting and giggling as they whacked their arses with the spatulas and gyrated with rolling pins.

Miss Archer finally banged the lid of her pan loudly and everyone stopped and looked at her.

"Thanks girls!" she smiled and then inhaled again on her cigarette. "We needs to measures the sketty for everyones!" she stated and with her cigarette clamped in the corner of her mouth proceeded to explain with how to open the bag and try and carefully measure the long sticks of pasta.

There was great commotion as lots spilled out everywhere, but eventually most of the girls got the spaghetti required into the boiling hot pans without burning themselves.

Miss Archer dangled her cigarette and wiped her now steam covered glasses using the edge of now tomato sauce splattered white blouse and put them back on her nose, attempting and failing to straighten her hair again. She flicked the ash in the sink and took a long drag, exhaled, and tipped the last of her bottle of wine mainly into the glass and took a gulp, then looked back up at the clock on the wall, it was five to six, the bell would be ringing soon for dinner, somehow, they were perfectly on time.

She put the spatula into the water and fished out a string of pasta and flung it at the wall beside her.

It stuck.

"The pasta is done!" She grinned "Once Melissa and Nelly have finished pishing, we can serve up!" she grinned and took a long gulp of her wine, her cheeks were red from the split wine. As Nelly and Melissa giggled at the large puddle on the floor between them.

Chapter 5 Typing

The seriously hungover girls yawned, stretched, moaned, and chatted as they made their way from having their late breakfast down yet another long identical looking hallway in the direction of the computer room.

"I don't get why we need to do this!" Melanie moaned as she walked alongside Nelly.

"To make us better improved women!" Nelly said in the robotic voice and grinned.

"You've seen Miss Hunters newsletters; she can't type for toffee!" Melissa giggled as she walked on the other shoulder.

"True, I wouldn't worry, you've seen Miss Hunters newsletters..." Nelly rolled her eyes "you can tell if she wrote it before or after lunch!" Melissa grinned.

Nelly laughed, and pulled on the cigarette again, she exhaled to the side and grinned at Melissa, "Oh god, of course, one from the other week where she got bored or changed her mind before the end, printed it half-finished mid-sentence!"

"They won't worry about the accuracy, it is all about effort in everything we do, it is all about showing willing, follow where they lead, and soon you're a mess, but all is well!"

Nelly chuckled "Well everyone is at least drunk!" she smiled, frowned at the thought, then flicked the ash from her cigarette on to the floor and brought the filter back to her lips took one last drag, before stopping and stubbing it out in the ashtray on the wall as she forced the smoke out of her lungs.

"The main thing Nells, is I am sure if Miss Turnaware, even sober, actually knows how to spell!" Melissa giggled as Nelly growled as she focused on doing her buttons of her blouse up, getting all the way to the top before getting annoyed at the missed hole at the bottom and then redoing them all over again.

***

Miss Turnaware stood at the front of the room, her long red hair messily but still pleated down her back, cigarette in hand; her pale white skin covered by a green cardigan which was held together with a fragile looking single brown button holding back her braless bulging voluptuous freckle covered chest. In front of her lined up in rows across the room there was a dozen early 2000's computers the white plastic frames of the screens yellowed from time and years of tobacco abuse from the users. The students eventually got themselves, so they were all sitting behind the large screens with their headphones around their necks.

Tracey pulled on the cigarette, exhaled, and then placed the filter into the ashtray and clasped her hands together "Morning girls, I hope you have had a good morning so far, please make sure you have set up your drinks, cigarettes, ashtrays, and of course the peddle to control the speed of the dictation?" There was a moment of clatter, banging and chatter as the girls moved everything around last minute.

"Yes miss!" The girls in the room chanted back.

"You have an hour copying my reading of the chapter by Chris Rojek of 'The Thoroughly Modern Women' I think you will find whilst typing it, its highly informative. We will stop for a drink break and then continue with more work, I have lined up 'Modern Woman: The Lost Sex', an excellent American study on the feminist women in the post war era."

"Yes Miss." The girls chanted back.

Miss Turnaware nodded and picked up her wine glass from the desk, smiled, swirled the contents, and took a gulp before loudly swallowing.

Nelly exhaled a cone up to the ceiling and stubbed her cigarette out in the ashtray on the corner of the desk and then picked up and washed her throat with a sip of the glass of "vodka" and orange and with a cough to clear her throat, she ran her tongue across her teeth and stared at the screen, and in anticipation of the test she hovered her fingers over the A, S, D, F, and J, K, L, and : keys.

"5, 4, 3,2 and Girls, please start!" Miss Turnaware bellowed before taking a seat on top of her desk, leaving her pale white legs wide apart, extracted a cigarette from the pack on her desk and swiftly lighting it before crossing and then uncrossing her legs again and sitting there sternly watching the girls.

Nelly tried to get Miss Turnaware's eyes, but she didn't look at her, so with a shrug, she checked under the desk and double checked that her foot was actually over the peddle, took another nervous gulp of drink, placed her hands back over the keys, and with a deep breath she depressed the peddle and the words flowing into her ears and her eyes focused on the screen as her fingers moved and with the others the clattering of fingers stroking keys began as she started to type.

***

Twenty minutes later Nelly removed her foot from the peddle and took a deep breath and sighed as she looked around and smiled, she paused typing and thought she had caught Miss Turnaware's rather bloodshot blue eyes, but again she instantly looked away smiled with appreciation at someone else in the room before placing the filter back between her lips and almost seductively pulling on the cigarette before exhaling and then unsteadily standing up brushing the perceived ash off her body.

Nelly felt slightly disappointed, took her own drag on her burning cigarette, a gulped her juice and then carried on typing, but out of the corner of her eye she spotted Miss Turnaware started to slowly walk around the room, the smoke drifting from the cigarette in the corner of her mouth as she peered over the girls' shoulders inspecting what and how they are typing. Nelly took the opportunity of her natural pause to get a filter between her lips and then the hit the lighter for the flame, she pulled the smoke into her lungs and then exhaled, she smiled to herself with the cigarette close by just between her fingers, as she soon felt Miss Turnaware presence hovering close in her personal space just behind her with her gorgeous aroma of perfume, cigarettes and alcohol mixed with a hint of urine, their bodies seemed to collide as Miss Turnaware 'accidently' wobbled and grabbed hold of the back of Nelly's chair for support and then leaned forwards studying the screen, her breasts squishing as they 'rested' on Nelly's shoulders creating a head support cushion.

Nelly just sat and breathed in the aroma and then smiled at Tracey's reflection in the screen as she pressed her weight down momentarily, her breasts warming Nelly's neck and shoulders she instantly started typing again, Miss Turnaware pushed up on the back off the chair and shuffled off to stand behind Tiffany as she sat there typing away. Nelly stole a glance at Tracey who didn't look back as she paused after the next sentence took a brief drag on the cigarette as she then exhaled and carried on enthusiastically bashing the keys as she typed away.

A while later Nelly finally hit the final full stop and sighed as she wiggled the headphones down around her neck and stretched and twisted it, before sighing loudly slumping slightly into the wooden chair. She looked back up at the screen and after studying it for a for moments, smiled at the mostly red line free words as she reached for her pack of cigarettes.

Miss Turnaware had already made her way back to the desk at the front of the room and was busy with smoke drifting out from behind yet another James Patterson book, as Nelly's chair squeaked as she moved about, Miss Turnaware looked up and put the book down and clasped her hands together and then stood up, and gently shook her right leg as rather yellow dribble dripped down on to the floor "Oh, have you finished already Nelly, you have done that extremely quickly, well done, practice does make perfect!" She smiled.

"Yes T...miss, I just typed as quickly and accurately as possible!" Nelly nodded as she put her filter between her lips.

"Excellent, if you can leave the computer as it is, and I will mark your first paper along with the others. Please head off the common room and chill. We will look to do the next paper in an hour or so after you have had a drink!" She grinned.

Nelly nodded "Thanks Miss." Then lit the cigarette and her chest rose as she filled it with smoke turned to the side as she exhaled and smiled at Tiffany who ignored her as her eyes were still zoned out to the screen typing away listening to the exciting reading, her cigarette was burning disregarded in the ashtray. Nelly with her own cigarette dangled in the corner of her mouth, the pack of cigarettes and lighter secure in her hand, tugged her skirt back down over her naked bruised backside and headed out of the room.

***

Nelly looked up as Tiffany leant against the door frame of the common room and pulled a cigarette from the pack clutched between her fingers before exhaling and continuing to saunter into the room.

"Hey Nells, God that was tough, I think I have RSI!" She grinned and wiggled her fingers on her left hand before placing her right back to her mouth so she could take another urgent drag on the cigarette.

"Yeah, at least our fingers get some exercise!" Nelly tried to laugh a long too.

"Yeah, the finger weight loss methodology!" Tiffany giggled. "Doesn't do anything for the hips..."

Nelly tutted "It was just soooooooo boring though, listening to that academic paper."

"Tell me about it, I'm gagging, do you want a drink?"

Nelly winced and looked across at the table and then back at Tiffany "Hmm, after yesterday I am thinking I might have a tea, seeing this is the tearoom and all!" Nelly replied as she shuffled off the leather chair and readjusted her skirt yet again as she headed to the corner of the room.

Tiffany screwed her face up "What?" As Nelly stood beside her.

"Well, I need to try and type straight!" Nelly shrugged her shoulders as she tried to defend herself as she opened the cupboard and found a kettle and brushed the dust off it.

"Fuck that, we both need a real drink!" Tiffany exclaimed as she bent over and opened the fridge and pulled out two bottles of Smirnoff ice.

"I can't type too drunk, I tried on...Sa, I have tried before, I'm useless like that!" Nelly attempted to explain.

"Yeah, but that's the whole point of this place, wakeup, piss, get wasted, attempt to learn rubbish, piss, fall over in said piss, drink more whilst sitting on the floor of piss, go to sleep, wake up and repeat." Tiffany said as she used the bottle opener to take the cap off both bottles.

Nelly rubbed her bruised thigh. "Yeah, tell me about it. Been there and got the blinking bruise!"

Tiffany gawked looking down "Shite that's an impressive bluey, are you okay, you were pretty wasted last night?" She stated before taking a gulp of the bottle.

Nelly snorted. "Yeah, I vaguely remember it...that's why I am trying to have some tea!" She grinned.

Tiffany's eyes stretched on stalks "What are you actually, like proper sober?" she whispered the last half of the sentence and glanced around.

Nelly shifted her weight from foot to foot and nodded. "Shush, my head and stomach hurt too much again to even think about drinking properly this morning!" she grinned a little unconvincingly.

"Nells...its nearly lunchtime now" she said handing the other bottle to her "...you better get a drink or two in you, as you know Matron can always do a check on us at any time?"

Nelly shook her head "I really just don't want to drink!" she whispered and looked over her shoulder as the other girls streamed into the room chatting away as they formed a queue to the bar area.

"Come on Nells!" Tiffany sternly looked at her "Drink up!" and took a long gulp and they stepped to the side to le the others get a drink.

Nelly holding the cool bottle in her hand sighed loudly as if beaten and took a reluctant nervous gulp.

Tiffany triumphantly smiled as Nelly swallowed "See, I bet you are feeling better already?" she smiled again and then took her own mouthful of hers.

"But my typing won't be" Nelly snapped back and stared angrily at the bottle before reluctantly taking a gulp.

Tiffany laughed, raised an eyebrow, and smiled, "Then you will just get extra time practicing with Miss Turnaware, won't you?" She teased.

Nelly was about to bite back when Melanie walked up to both girls and growled, "That was shite!" and chugged in one the drink straight down her throat. "God, I needed that!" Then proceeded to light her cigarette, and then subsequently pull hard on the filter.

"Yes. It was..." Nelly replied.

***

"Well done girls, everyone did an amazing job, of course you all passed on the first chapter, what's a couple of typo's between friends, so you can give yourselves a pat on the back, or as I would do, probably a drink to celebrate!" she grinned over the din of everyone getting settled back behind the desk.

Nelly retrieved another cigarette and placed it between her lips, she focused on the cigarette as she flicked the lighter and then stopped before connecting with the tip as out of the corner of eye, she clocked something on the screen. She stopped the flame and stared at her monitor momentarily and screwed her eyes up as she read it again, then chucked to herself and smiled before flicked the lighter again deeply inhaled. She blew the smoke across the room and then read it yet again.

Missed u xxx Cum 2 mine tonite- after sobs- delete now! X

She hurriedly hit the delete key and watched as the letters disappeared off the screen, she then nervously looked around to check no one else had seen it, with the screen white with the blinking curser flashing like her heart beat, she slowly calmed down as it clear the words were never really there, she looked up over the screen at Miss Turnaware who this time did catch her eyes but with a wry grin just slowly nodded in agreement, then, turned her head as if to ignore the continuing stare of Nelly eyes as she shuffled up on the desk and coughed "Ready girls, drinks poured, cigarettes lit, earphones in, let's go again!" She announced before picking up her wine glass and smiling at the group, as Nelly changed her focus and she stared intently at the screen as the smoke drifted from the cigarette in her ashtray as Tracey finally retuned the smile as she looked back and brought the glass to her lips as the fingers clattered noisily against the keyboards, took a gulp, then picked up her book.

Chapter 6 Afternoon Exercise

After the regulation siesta and all-important afternoon nap the bell surprisingly and unusually rang to wake them up.

Miss Hunter appeared at the end of the dorm, her hair held back in a large white hairband, whilst wearing what looked like and was and overly tight gym kit of what were tight white shorts and white t-shirt.

"Gels, wakey, wakey, its afternoon time!" she coughed and then pulled on her cigarette as she watched the carnage of the girls waking up, stretching, coughing, swearing and spluttering, "sorry to throw this on you, but it's time for the end of year bleep test I am afraid."

A loud groan warbled and spun around the room to be followed by more coughing, swearing and grumble laden chattering under their breath as they all in turn grabbed and lit their desperately needed waking up cigarettes.

"Please meet me in the hall in twenty to thirty minutes please, that should be more than enough time to get ready!" She bellowed and then looked around "Where is Veronica when I need her?" She tutted and turned and then headed off towards the other dorms.

"Guess we are now working on the hips now!" Chuckled Melissa as she stretched her arm into the air her breasts jiggled as she moved her arms around trying to stretch to wake herself up.

"Fingers in the morning, lungs, and hips in the afternoon, it's a strange exercise routine!" Nelly mused as she tried to joke as she hunched over the end of the bed, sheltered the cigarette and lighter between her cupped hands and soon engulfed herself in a cloud of exhaled smoke,

***

Set out in the cold, strip light lit gym hall, with two of the lights at the far end were broken, blinking, and flashing on and off as if it was a disco. The hall was set out with two uneven rows of plastic cones roughly 15 metres apart. At both ends there were set up two wooden wallpapering tables with an array of bottles of drinks and ashtrays.