Miss Enid Kirkwood’s Academy Pt. 02

"Before Nina came to this establishment, yes she was troublesome, and always in trouble, and that is why we thought it best to send her here, to a finishing school, to improve her, we were both not really drinkers, I would have thought she would rather be seen dead than having one these things between her fingers" She grizzled as her hand pointed towards the cigarette between Miss Hunters fingers and she crossed her arms across her ample chest.

"Yes." Miss Hunter paused as she forced her exhale up across the room. She was a little troublesome, and if I remember rightly, she had already started smoking well before she arrived here, I can get matron to check the records?" Miss Hunter replied sternly looking firmly across her desk "Most girls who attend this academy, nicotine or alcohol or even other less suitable drugs are not a stranger danger to their bodies." She stated defiantly.

Regina looked sceptical "Well, maybe, but even if that was the case, now even after a couple of years away from the academy she can't get out of bed without stinking the house out with at least two pesky cigarettes!"

Miss Hunter wryly smiled and nodded with appreciation, "Ah excellent, I see, she has maintained her levels." Miss Hunter rubbed her lips together and the weathered wrinkles and crinkles deepened as she put the filter firmly back and her cheeks hollowed out as she pulled more smoke in her lungs. "Nina has clearly done great work in promoting our values here at the academy to you as well." She stated with the smoke pouring out of her mouth.

"Yes, she has, she is so positive about everything, but it's getting out of hand and in the way of life for both of us!"

Miss Hunter nodded "I understand, but I know it's early, but do you fancy a drink?"

Regina sighed and her shoulders sank forwards her body fought her clothing, her bra's underwire noticeably creaked under the strain, "I came here to be cross with you, I really don't believe what you are doing with our children, sorry young women, is right, with everything else, no, of course I wouldn't!" she huffed and grizzled.

"Great, red, white or something stronger?"

"I said no", she looked at the clock and then back at Miss Hunter who was intently egging her on, "Oh, go on something stronger!" she grizzled.

"Great choice!" Miss Hunter triumphantly nodded.

***

Both Veronica and Nina entered the room and simultaneously coughed and looked at each other and laughed.

"Thank you, Veronica, Morning!" Nina said as she turned to the girls, and then said "Morning" again slightly louder and grinned as her thighs swished as they together as made her way to the centre of the little stage, turned and looked across at the girls in their leather seats, almost all with their hands popping their heads-up arm rest bored and hungover, as the ever-present cloud of smoke was being produced by dozens of lit cigarettes, their streams of smoke rising as the non-dispersing cloud hung over their heads. She smiled and nodded as her eyes scanned the faces "oh wow, it's been a couple of years since I stood here, boy have I really missed this, genuinely, I keep expecting to see the faces I know, but they are not there!" she grinned, coughed hard, and then flipped open her pack of cigarettes in her right hand pulled a cigarette out with her teeth, the cupped the tip and with a couple of drags got it alight. "It really hasn't changed!" she grinned her slightly brown teeth.

"Girls, please, come one, lets listen to Nina!" Veronica bellowed and gently banged her lighter on the lectern and the room went quiet. "Thank you!"

Nina looked to the side at the bottle of red wine on the lectern and chuckled shaking her head. "Things really never change; I love it. I am genuinely surprised Miss Hunter remembered; she has a memory like a sieve!" As she crabbed sideways to the bottle, twisting the screw top off and then ignored the glass picked up the bottle in her hand, walked back into the middle of the platform and took a gulp direct from the neck. "Ahh that's better, yes, I know its!" she licked her now red lips, then pulled out a chair and sat down "That's better, no point standing, it's so tiring, anyway so, I have been told you are going ask questions about how life beyond the academy is? First, I thought I would give you some of the stories that we got up to, just so we can relate!" she grinned tilted her head back took another gulp of wine, smiled, and placed the filter back between her lips as her cheeks then collapsed around the filter as she hauled yet more smoke into her lungs.

***

"Cheers, Regina, please drink up!" Miss Hunter stated. "Anyway, what exactly are your concerns?" She smiled as she brought the most gin and tonic to her lips and sipped it.

"Well, it was sort of everything?"

"Right, go on?"

"Well, you know, the drinking, the smoking, the wetting the furniture its vile, she can be worse that one of our dogs!"

"Hmmm, but are you both enjoying life?"

"Oh, yes, there is nothing better!" Regina smiled as she gulped her gin and tonic. "But it's not very useful!"

"I imagine your social life has improved in leaps and bounds?"

"Oh yes, I now love going out drinking dancing with Nina on a Saturday night, it's amazing, it's like rolling back the years, just the two of us having a whale of a time!" She drank more from the glass.

"Your work colleagues enjoying your company now on the smoke breaks?"

Regina nervously nodded "I really don't smoke that much; yes, I do join them, only very occasionally you see, I am a good mum to my wonderful daughter!" she said nervously looking down her drink.

"Oh, I do see. Are you really sure I can't offer you a cigarette?" She smiled tilting her head inquisitively and brought the glass back to her lips and finished the drink with a "ahh!"

***

"That is enough about me, my potty history, sorry potted history as such here at the academy, so any questions?" Nina smiled and took another long gulp from the now half empty bottle of wine.

Veronica put her hand up and Nina nodded and smiled "After two years in the real world do you still believe in the academy's teachings?"

Nina laughed and rubbed her hand on her nose and sniffed "Of course, who wouldn't!" she then brought the bottle to her lips and gulped more wine.

Tiffany put her hand up, "Does it interfere with your life, or make it better?"

Nina laughed again and took a gulp of her wine. "I think I am being amazing, looking incredibly sexy," she patted her bare pot belly, it wiggled as she did. "Others like my mother may not always think so!" she grinned and took another swig from the bottle.

"Do you meet up with your former classmates?" A nicotine-soaked gravelly voice asked through the fog of smoke.

Nina rocked on her chair as she thought "No, we have scattered to the four corners of the county. "Now we have phones again we can all WhatsApp or Facebook message, comparing stories which is nice. Especially when we are drunk, that's when the messages start flowing, which is, you know, quite often!" She giggled.

Nelly put her hand up "Err, what did your old friends think of you?"

Nina nodded as she concentrated as she pulled a cigarette from the pack on her lap and flicked her lighter and took two deep drags whilst thinking. "When I first came home from Christmas, they thought I was some party animal out all night!" she cackled a laugh and then pulled on her cigarette.

"But?"

"I bet you girls are asleep by midnight after sobs?" There was chatter amongst the girls and noises of agreement. "So yes, I could drink them under the table, but I would be asleep on top of table rather than dancing on it!" she grinned. "But you can soon convince them of the benefits of Kirkwoods's mantras, and promise you they will soon join in."

"How was your mum's reaction?"

"Aghast, scared, but as Miss Hunter explains, once they learn to understand the process, they soon come on board."

"How?"

Nina raised her hand as if to say one minute, brought the bottle to her lips and chugged three mouthfuls of the wine down, before licking her red lips with her very red tongue, "Simples, I got her drunk over several nights and like your girls have been, I fed her cigarettes!" she grinned and looked at her other hand and placed the filter between her lips.

***

"Yes, you have explained that your disappointed. Can I top your glass up again Mrs Stamps?"

She shook her head, "Oh, I really shouldn't, but it's a nice gin better than the stuff we drink at home," she looked longingly over the empty glass and intently at Miss Hunter's mouth as the occasional drift of smoke from her lips drifted out as she had her cigarette dangling in the corner, whilst holding the gin bottle "Oh, go on!" she grinned as Miss Hunter twisted off the lid of the gin bottle, and then shuffled around her desk, so her bottom was resting on it and topped up Regina's glass three quarters full of gin, and then did the same to her glass, before stretching for the tonic bottle and swapping it for the gin, and sloshing a little in.

"I agree it's nice!" Miss Hunter stated as she twisted her body for her pack, pulling a filter out, and swapped the cigarettes over and chain lit the fresh one with a powerful pull on the cigarette before stubbing out the short butt. "So, do you want that cigarette?" She asked as the blue grey smoke poured back out of her mouth.

"I was meant to be being good here!" Regina stated.

"Oh?"

Regina sipped her drink "I promised Nina I wouldn't drink or smoke too much or embarrass her." she sheepishly grinned.

Miss Hunter beamed and nodded "But here we pride ourselves in openness here, in that way there certainly no embarrassment in anything one does, as we know we all do it!" She grinned.

***

"How many do you smoke?" Another voice called out.

Nina laughed "To some, too many, or to me not enough! It's all depending on my mood, we all know 'Enid Kirkwood Believes Every Modern Women Should Enjoy a Cigarette." she chanted, and everyone joined in in the monotone chant towards the end.

"How much do you drink?"

"That's easy, far too much, far too quickly!" She grinned as she held up and swung the now nearly empty bottle between her fingers.

"How often are you drunk?" Shouted another.

"Oh, most days, at the weekends if I am lucky twice a day, nothing like sleeping off a morning session and going again in the evening!" she laughed hard, brought her hand to mouth as she coughed, she gulped her swallow and then pulled another cigarette from the pack and swiftly lit it. She exhaled and then took a gulp of wine again before fidgeting. "Oh girls, one more important thing when moving on from Kirkwood's, it's not good to have no knickers on. It's far too cold. So, when in the real world, when you know later on in the day that you're going to pee in your knickers, wear all black!" she grinned, then sighed as there was hissing sound against her wooden chair, before it started trickling through her tights between her thighs and on to the floor. "It's rather great, you can pee all you like, and when you stand up, it hides all the wet enjoyable sins!" she grinned and inhaled on her cigarette as the torrent of pee gushed on to the chair and started dripping onto the floor.

"Do you have any more questions?" she smiled, taking another drag on her cigarette as she wiggled her wet legs

"Are there a downside?"

"Oh, well, yes, this very moment in time, I've got wet knickers and tights that are getting cold." She wobbled her body which squelched on her wet buttocks, "Oh and coughing, I can't stop morning or night, oh yes, as for night falling over, err, there are lots of problems, but the pleasures, I promise you, outweigh them all."

"What do your friends think?"

"I've already answered that one 'Every Great Women Is Supported by Her Friends and Acquaintances in Achieving Their Goals Which Can Be Achieved with Nicotine.' She chanted again and instantly pulled on her cigarette.

"Do your friends now smoke?"

She nodded as she exhaled, "Now, of course!" she grinned her eyes sparkled as she smiled, then pulled on the now shorted filter of her cigarette.

***

"Shall I top your drink up again before going back to find, err, hmmm, yes, err, yes, err, Nina that her!" Miss Hunter asked with the nearly empty bottle of gin in her hand. "I think they have had enough time, and there is really not much left in the bottle!"

Regina shook her head which moved further than she anticipated "I really should visit your bathroom before I do!" Regina stated as she politely bounced on the spot squirming with her thighs squeezing tight together.

"Feel free." She waved her arm around the office. "I have already been several times!" she grinned and then brought her glass to her lips and necked the contents down as her thighs glistened once again. "Right, more gin, then the girls!" she stated as she picked up the bottle beside her.

"No, where is your toilet, I am not degr...I am not deg...I am not the bloody dog?" she stuttered and slurred squeezing her thighs together again in desperation.

"Oh, what like the real toilet, right, it is, err, yes, right, it's out the door, turn left first door on your right!" Miss Hunter stated with surprise. "If you give me your glass, and I will fill it up!"

"Thank you!" Regina nodded, got up from the chair far too quickly after three triple gin and tonics and unsteadily wobbled. "Oh fuck! Fuck, I swore, fuck sorry! Here is my glass."

"It's okay, it happens!" Miss Hunter smiled a shrugged and safely took it off her.

"Did you say right or left?" Regina asked as she neared the door.

"Oh, right, yes, I said left!"

"Thank you." She stated as she staggered until she grabbed hold of the doorknob, and then with almost surprise opened the door, and staggering to the right.

"I said left!"

"Yes, thanks you. I am going that way!" She corrected herself as she staggered further right down the hallway before she then wobbled in the correct decision falling against the bathroom door and swearing loudly at it as she fiddled with the polished and slippery handle.

***

Veronica exhaled a cloud of smoke, then with her customary unbalanced way stood up, "Thank you Nina it was very informative, proving we are following Miss Hunter and her team on the right path here at the academy!" she grinned started to clap, and the girls joined in.

As Nina stood up and blushed with embarrassment as the girls clapped and stomped their feet on the wooden chairs, they all swivelled and looked at the door, it banged opened as Miss Hunter marched in, cigarette and drink in hand followed by the now giggly Regina as she slowly staggered into the room.

"Veronica, I hope you have been kind to Nina, no difficult questions?" She grinned and gulped her drink.

"Nina did well! Is Mrs Stamps, okay?"

Nina leaned around Miss Hunter "You okay mum?"

"She's made me drunks, and I've been bad!" she giggled and then grizzled and brought the recently lit cigarette to her lips.

"Oh, she is good at that, I did warn you Mum." Nina chuckled.

Miss Hunter interrupted "So Gels, now she has had the required couple of drinks to loosen her up, before they go, does anyone want to ask Mrs Stamps any questions regarding her daughter's time at the academy?"

Nina's eyes widened with fear as much as Regina's.

Chapter 9 Nearly Home Time

Over the next two weeks Tracey had not to subtly suggested to Miss Hunter that Nelly really needed to do a lot more typing practice at the weekends and evenings on her own, and with a knowing smile and a wink she was eagerly given dispensation to do so. This was even more useful when Nelly had accidently and very badly twisted her ankle as she had again fallen over after watching the as usual highly informative Sunday movie of 'Debbie doing the gardening'. The way she drank the water from the watering can and then after using spout of the watering-can to pleasure herself whilst lying spread eagle on the grass, she the then used her own urine to water the plants.

Nelly had been seriously excited and had to remember to show the biggest disappointment the following Monday as she gave her excuses as she hobbled down the corridor that she couldn't do the run to the pub in the cold wet pouring rain. But once everyone had gone, she had quickly taken the option to 'limp' down the corridor and snuggle down in Tracey's bed for the whole morning to continue exercising her fingers and potentially her tongue whilst definitely resting her leg.

They made sure she as her ankle made a miraculous recovery the next day to be present for lunch, tea, and sobriety testing in the dorm before she again slipped out bed at lights off.

As was now her new routine now Nelly had to then sneak back into bed and get undressed and all tucked up under the bedsheets just before the morning alarm rang and the morning wake procedure kicked in again.

Once showered and this morning she surprised herself and was sober enough to shave her legs and pits, she was as drying her hair as Melissa wondered over to her bed cigarette in her hand smoke pouring of her mouth. "Go on, Nells where were you last night and the night before?"

"Here?" She patted the still made bed and then ignored her whilst she busily got on with drying her hair.

Mellissa snorted in disgust "Pull the other one babe, you were not!" She dragged hard her cigarette. "Your bed was empty!"

"Oh, right, yes, well...I couldn't sleep" she stretched and yawned "you know thinking about going home to my empty house, so went to stretch my legs and have a smoke or three!"

"Last week you hurt your leg, who you off seeing at night, Miss Turnaware?" Melissa enquired bathing them both in her exhaled smoke. "Your spending hours with her!"

"No one and especially not a teacher, that is just gross and like disgusting!" She screwed her face up before she stretched wide as she yawned and with her arm out leaned to her pack to grab her own cigarette.

"Hmm," Melissa pulled on her cigarette and glared, "it's like 3 degrees and pouring with rain out there, you aren't walking!" She offered her lighter to Nelly.

"I was, just along the corridors, got to get my strength up!" She unconvincingly grinned, flipped with hand her damp hair over and away from her face then cupped her hands around the cigarette and with a couple of flicks, then a shake of the lighter, she lit up.

"Hmm, So, looking forward for the end of year quiz, apparently the teachers get 'accidently' wasted before we get picked up!" She stated before pulling on her cigarette again.

"Err, that's no different than normal?"

Melissa smiled "It's, meant to be good fun. Veronica is in charge, is apparently like University Challenge, a team of teachers v a team of pupils. As we must be more than sober to be picked up by our parents we always win apparently!"

"Oh, who is on our team?"

"Veronica will pick there and then!"

"Oh, interesting, Tr...I mean, err, no one has said anything to me." She stumbled over her words.

"Apparently that was what Veronica was saying last night, it's her job to set the quiz!"

"Oh, wow what, not Miss Hunter?"

Melissa shook her head "Nope, she gets drunk with the others."

"But I think I am getting a lift with... as my parents are away!"

"Oh wow, who?"

Nelly looked a little worried for a second. She took a deep breath and whispered "Miss Turnaware, she said the other day she might give me a lift."

"So, you are with her?" Melissa practically shouted.

Nelly put both arms up, "No, Mel, I am not, trust me I am not!" She stated with panic across her face and shook her head defensively.

"Hmm okay, I don't believe you. Just watch out as according to Veronica, she will be absolutely wasted after the quiz, what will you do then?"

Nelly shrugged her shoulders, "That's nothing new there for me, she, I mean they, the teachers are always drunk too anyway" she grinned...and shrugged her shoulders "anyway maybe I will go the next day?"