All Comments on 'Moon's Shadow Ch. 02'

This is a really good story, but I'm not liking the turn it's taking with the lopsided selfishness than Ana is building into the relationship. It makes the story feel unbalanced to me. Perhaps if you were to make it so that the mind control interferes with Beryl's ability to channel power, that might force Ana to back off a bit and allow Beryl to have some freedom of choice.

The reason I say it's unbalanced is because it's no longer a Dom/sub relationship if the sub isn't choosing to submit. If Ana were using her mind control powers to tilt the playing field in her direction, that would be one thing. But removing the element of choice pushes the relationship outside the boundaries of a true Dom/sub relationship.

@ZZChromosome

-The emotion-altering Sorcery is temporary, as Kirlin mentioned and as Beryl narrated.

-Beryl is 19, emotionally vulnerable, and Ana is having sex with her. The fact that she's obsessively in love with Ana has more to do with that than her Sorcery.