All Comments on 'Mormon Lesbian Ch. 02'

I strongly advise finding an editor. An entire twenty lines are repeated on Page 2.

This was extremely sexy. Why don't you do one more with Sky getting it on with Emma's mother when Emma leaves.

This is a nice idea, having the young women evolve while avoiding serious conflict with their families. It is especially nice that they don't lose their faith over this. I hope they will be happy even though separated.

Again, like other commentators, it will be best if you revise this and put it all in third person, and I recommend doing it in past tense.