MS. WTF?!! - REBOOTED!! Ch. 02

"What am I doing?" I asked myself taking a second shower I didn't need.

Truthfully, I was also wondering why I was listening to Rashida Sikes when I should've been angry with her for getting me into another battle of wills. Once again my immediate past was demanding attention in the form of a former model, acquaintance, maybe friend? Honestly, I was still getting to know Shawnee when things started going sideways as I unintentionally shifted into my cousin's Jaquan's inner circle. This turned out to be a life change leading me to my current situation and by proxy Shawnee and Andre, her I guess, former boyfriend.

Thinking about the sexually tinged burn I'd just received made me angry unexpectedly hitting me where I lived. Shawnee decided to tease me to distraction probably also craving validation of her brand new look from a person who knew her beforehand. I chaffed at the memory of her eagerness to be accepted into what she perceived to be a rarified circle to the exclusion of all else. She'd freely partook of all the Kool-Aid she could drink and now she was blaming me for that decision.

I seized up at the memory of her aloof behavior that morning after I'd spent a momentous night with our mutual benefactor and mentor not knowing I was being vetted romantically. Shawnee was complicit in throwing bucket loads of shade my way even getting in a few shots of her own right at the tail end of things that morning. I'd been thrown from her car that morning after being accused of exploiting her for profit. Never mind she'd made the initial decision to join in on the "fun" assassinating my character and unceremoniously booting me out of the clique. I leaned forward at an angle supporting my weight with a palm flattened against the tiny shower wall.

"Motherfucker." I would be unbothered going forward.

It was refreshing taking that shower which gave me a second wind mentally speaking. Because of the broom closet size of the bathroom, the only way I was getting decently dressed was to leave the door wide open. So, I got dressed with my narrow ass out to the world. To take my mind further off things, I started to think ahead to Rashida's video shoot and how I could capitalize on it. I'd brought some of my equipment but wanted a drone to use to stockpile footage. I resolved to get Rashida to accompany me to a store to pick one up if only because Shawnee trusted her enough to give my muse a key.

"Oh shit daddy, you clean up nice." I turned finding her standing there watching. Rashida stepped to me doing the last few buttons on my black silken dress shirt. She was wearing a nice white floral printed high in the front low in the back maxi dress which while showing offer her stallion legs in the front, kept her sixty plus inches of online fame partially under wraps.

"I could say the same; how come you're not wearing some loud African deal?" I got a playful smack on the cheek as she smiled adjusting and straightening out my collar.

"I knew you'd say that shit. I guess I just wanted to do something, a little bit different tonight."

"You still wearing that badass thong under this dress?" Rashida chuckled giving me a smack to the butt followed by a peck on the same cheek she slapped.

"You've got a one track mind, but I like it daddy."

"So that's a yes, right?" We both shared a light moment.

We were interrupted by the chime of Shawnee's secure bedroom door which signaled her approach. My shoulders tensed up but I don't think Rashida noticed as we jointly watched the door open.

Shawnee stood there wearing this red cheongsam dress tightly fitted to her body from the neck to her newly cinched waist. It was glossy with its own ethnically themed floral print that started at the abdomen leading down to the material at her ankles. From the waist down to her ankles, Shawnee wore a skin-tight form fitting pair of mesh leggings just sheer enough to give you an impression of her light olive colored skin tone underneath. Wicked looking spike black ankle boots completed the look.. The dress had high slits on either side starting just above her waist.

Those dual slits on either side were utilitarian allowing her ridiculously wide and monstrous hips freedom giving Shawnee a uninhibited range of movement. Her lower half was visually staggering horizontally. I couldn't see the back, but it was an extreme case of "Ass So Fat You Can See It From The Front." Her wrists were adorned with a glimmering pair of rhinestone encrusted bangle bracelets. I glanced up past her childish features at the dual roundish buns on her rounded head. Shawnee was approximating the appearance of a video game character.

"Chun-Li?"

The static expression remained on Shawnee's face as her arm disappeared just inside the doorway leading to the enclosed bedrooms reappearing with a shoe box which she didn't hesitate to chuck at my chest. I caught it like an effeminate geek fumbling with it for a second while Rashida shot Shawnee a look.

"That payaso ain't gonna wear no shoes to the party?" Shawnee glared at both of us retrieving a small thin pocket book. She disregarded us checking its interior for a few seconds before walking out leaving us there. Rashida pressed into the door holding it open as I put on the glossy dress shoes inside the box. I glanced out into the hall.

My thoughts on Shawnee's ensemble were born out in the back view. Her enormous derriere made an appearance on either side of the deep slits in that red Chinese styled dress. A good portion of each sheer legging covered cheek would be on full display wherever we were going. I glanced up from my seat finding Rashida smirking as a realization came to mind.

"You didn't have anything that could beat that, huh?"

"Man, I'd have to walk into the party with nothing on to steal eyes from that bitch." We both started laughing as Rashida took my arm in a sign of good faith.

We looked like a couple walking a few feet behind Shawnee to the elevator. I couldn't help myself burning a hole in Shawnee's butt swaying as she walked in a way it never had before. The weight loss left no doubt that she was always going to be Ms. WTF on some level. Rashida snapped her fingers in front of my eyes wanting a bit of attention herself.

"Hey man, you better not be thinking about her when you're with me, later." Rashida whispered in my ear as we reached the opening elevator. I wasn't so sure Shawnee couldn't hear what was said.

"¡Mete tu culo pervertido en esa perra punk de ascensor! ¡Nigga, no te estás masturbando mientras estamos aquí!" Shawnee sounded heated standing there holding the door open glaring expectantly.

"HEY!!" I was roughly shoved into the elevator.

Before I could turn around Shawnee squeezed in obliged to actually turn sideways because of her ridiculously wide hips. Rashida got in right behind us forcing me to look at the paneled wall of the car as we rode down to the underground parking garage. I felt bad because Rashida was stuck playing referee between us knowing I'd promised to stick it out at least for the rest of the night. I was already struggling to remain unbothered. The underground parking garage was cavernous filled with cars that cost as much as my college student loans.

My eyes settled on a customized Escalade trimmed in gold as I noticed Shawnee side eyeing me while we walked through the enclosed space. It felt like she was equal parts flossing and throwing shade at the same time. I averted my eyes knowing how I mostly wore my emotions on my sleeve. I was coming up financially on the low but was nowhere near able to afford the things I was seeing on this trip. My id returned reminding me of Shawnee's apparent profession as evidenced in the videos I'd viewed in her early social media days.

"What're you looking at payaso; you got a car parked down here we don't know about, eh? Hey like is that Rolls-Royce over there yours? Oh, yeah maybe you got that sweet candy apple Jag right there behind us, right fool? Come on big time, point your shit out and we can take that instead of my ride payaso!! SHOW ME BRUH!!"

Shawnee was acting like a whole douche making me wish she were a guy so I could paste her one right on the chin. Rashida was laughing but shut up when she saw me give her a look. Shawnee suddenly stopped turning right in my path standing there like she wanted to throw hands. I stopped in my tracks glaring back at her trying to seem just as aggressive, but all three of us knew I was a moderate lightweight physically. She'd been there while Yoli was pummeling the snot out of Rashida and personally witnessed me having difficulty separating the two.

"You gonna do it or are you gonna cry me a fucking river payaso?"

"Don't call me payaso."

"Oh, I'm sorry motherfucker; eh, shit you uh, probably don't like that either right? What is that name you're calling yourself these days? OH RIGHT!! The EDUCATED SIMP!! Now ain't that the truth in fucking advertising, huh payaso?" Shawnee had this glib look on her face with a big gregarious smile arms outstretched as Rashida stepped up.

"Cut it out guys; are we going to the party or not?" Shawnee raised a brow fishing her key fob out of her small purse. Off in the distance a few feet away an alarm chirp echoed through the parking garage. She smiled at Rashida taking her hand walking away from me.

"KEEP UP OR I'M GONNA LEAVE YOU BEHIND!" Rashida tried to look back, but Shawnee did this jerking movement drawing her contemporary close. I could hear some hushed frenetic back and forth between the women. It seemed like Shawnee wanted to run ahead and possibly drive off. Deep down I hoped she would.

I followed them to a parked red Jeep Wrangler with black trim. The top was down and the back seat was stuffed to the brim with boxes, mostly art supplies and other knickknacks that recalled her former boyfriend Andre. I wondered if she would treat him the same way considering how horribly he humiliated her the night she turned into my nemesis. Of course Shawnee followed suit figuring there was nowhere for her to go without her mentor.

"You coming?!" Rashida yelled from a few feet away prompting me to run up to the jeep.

Shawnee busied herself half pushing Rashida into the car with her back to me visually coveting my confidant and FWB. I felt my third wheel status deeply noticing there was no way I could squeeze into the covered back seat. I tried the handle finding it locked starting to panic. Shawnee didn't help matters any walking around the far side of her vehicle grinning evilly staring me right in the eye.

"HEY WHERE AM I SUPPOSED TO SIT?!!" I facepalmed as soon as the words left my mouth fully expecting Shawnee to speed off, but she started thumping her hand on the horn instead.

"GET YOUR ASS IN THE BACK PAYASO!!" I barely hopped in back climbing haphazardly as she began revving the engine. Shawnee hit her tunes dam near blowing my ears out with some electronica gunning it through the garage as I tried to get my seatbelt on shaking and bouncing all over the place.

By the time I was firmly in place, we were speeding down the freeway with Shawnee weaving horrifically between lanes getting some angry honking horns in the process. A few times I nearly fell over and one convertible full of teens started chasing us looking for a race. At least that's what I thought before dodging some trash being thrown from their car in my direction. Shawnee and Rashida appeared to be having the time of their lives, two party girls.

"AW SHIT, WHAT THE FUCK!!" I was slammed into the front seating abruptly as Shawnee hit the breaks to avoid rear ending a GMC truck.

"SORRY BOUT THAT!!" Both women yelled laughing their asses off making me literally growl.

Adding injury to insult, I was tossed about with a whiplash effect as Shawnee made a sharp right cutting across lanes to the off ramp. Throughout my ride from hell, I was inundated with the hot steamy winds drummed up by our velocity getting battered by nature as well. It felt like a Friday night for everyone except me as Shawnee continued speeding down a series of winding streets in what looked like some affluent neighborhood. Just as I was leaning back hand to chest we started to slow down as the music lowered. Both of the girls were getting along famously chattering away like I wasn't even there.

I felt dejected and small staring out at the packed winding streets speeding away from us from my point of view. What I was feeling was defeat on a level I hadn't experienced in a long time since the early days of my life as an amateur pornographer. My id was lambasting me like Burgess Meredith from those old Rocky movies for getting soft. There was nothing left for me to do, and I had to admit I was used to people cooperating with me. If I had a tail it would be tucked between my legs as Shawnee finally pulled to a stop before I'd even realized it.

"Hey."

I was looking down at the new shoes on my feet feeling like they were worth more than me as a whole person.

"Hey daddy?" I glanced up wearily looking at Rashida standing there while Shawnee exited the vehicle on her side behind me loudly slamming her car door.

"Yeah?"

"Come on, we're here." She offered her hand but I felt taking it would signify my social cucking. Shawnee walked around the back of the jeep appearing in my peripheral view from my right eye.

"My canvas top better not be messed up or you walking back payaso." I noticed Rashida exchange glances with Shawnee.

"Be nice."

"I thought I was Chica de casa?" Shawnee kept moving walking along the sidewalk slinging her purse leaving us behind.

"I'll catch up, you go with her." I replied weakly, mumbling which got her attention as I got down on the grass. I could barely look Rashida in the eye, but she cupped my chin rewarding me with a kiss on the lips. She went further interlocking fingers with me leading us onto the sidewalk. In the distance we could hear loud intrusive electronica blowing up this affluent neighborhood.

"We're going together." We walked arm in arm noticing droves of people loitering about a quarter of a block before we even reached our destination. A lot of these people looked like teenagers which gave me pause. I could barely look anyone in the face still feeling it from Shawnee.

"Hey, what is this place?"

"You met Koa today; this is one of his house parties."

"This is a fucking house party; feels more like a rave or something." The sidewalk traffic was getting dense with big groups of people loitering about in their own non inclusive circles. Across the street on a lawn big enough to hold my house and garage back home, some people were tossing a glow in the dark frisbee around.

"Well I'm told his wife kinda owns the house; but they both got their own hustles so it balances out."

"Koa and his old lady make enough to afford a place like this on a personal trainer salary?" Rashida chuckled making me feel as if I wasn't in the know. Perhaps some conversation took place while the women were out to which I wasn't privy.

"Isabella is a very successful model."

"Isabella?"

"Isabella Perez, she does a lot of work on those auto magazines with the custom cars, uhm she's a big time influencer on social media among other things."

"Other things?" I stopped just out of view of the house facing Rashida.

Both of us looked to our right finding this incredible home that was a thing of wonder looking like the set of several music videos I'd seen over the years. This was modern architecture at its best with a big two tiered angular off kilter façade out front. Everything was white with the upper terrace full of lounging people congregating, having drinks and some making out. It literally felt as if I'd walked into an episode of Miami Vice along with Rashida Sikes, my running buddy and perennial FWB. This scene, the atmosphere was neo age, a new sort of bohemianism.

"Damn, we've come up this weekend, huh daddy?" Rashida was suitably impressed while I was apprehensive knowing Shawnee was lurking about inside probably waiting to pull my chain some more.

"Think we'll get past security?" This made her laugh, but I wasn't really joking totally out of my element.

"I think you need a drink."

"A few of them baby." I palmed her donk giving it a nice squeeze as Rashida wrapped an arm around my bicep taking a pic of us together with her iPhone. I got a nudge to the ribs smiling for the next couple of photos.

"HEY GUYS, WHAS UP!!" Someone shouted loud enough to be heard over the booming music which was an incredible feat in and of itself. We both glanced upward at the balcony finding Koa watching us with drink in hand.

"HEY CUTIE!! WUS GOOD KOA?!!" Rashida yelled back waving in this exaggerated fashion while I did a shitty twinkle fingers motion with my hand meekly.

"STAY THERE, I'M COMING DOWN!!" Instead of going to the stairs Koa handed another guy his drink climbing over the clear glass wall of the upper balcony.

Both of us watched this big, buff islander do his best parkour showing off a supernatural level of athleticism as he hopped down hanging in front of the guests on the ground floor patio. Some lanky blonde got a pic of his junk level with her face before Koa landed on his feet in the adjacent yard to much applause and fanfare. This guy took a moment to bow before his audience before running to us arms outstretched. I was reluctantly swept up into a group hug between his muscular arms along with a giggling Rashida.

I felt positively adolescent in comparison physically to this certified super hunk. Koa was wearing a breezy collared Tropical print tee, white knee length shorts and sandals. It didn't help that his shirt was open putting his chiseled pecs on full display accessorized by a tribal tattoo that covered one completely.

"You look good; fucking fine babe." Our interlocked hands were disengaged as Koa gave Rashida a really deep hug which left me watching. I could've swore he took an audible whiff of her scent while I was watching.

"Cut it out, you're gonna get me in trouble with your wife." I raised a brow.

"Did you bring your suit?" Both brows raised as I remembered that thong I'd briefly glimpsed on her body when she was getting ready for the party. Rashida didn't answer looking uncharacteristically demure before noticing my grimacing face. Koa noticed looking over finding me there.

"OH HEY DUDE, DIDN'T MEAN TO BE RUDE!!" He shook my hand which looked like a kid's in his larger mitt sized one. I'd truly lucked out during our first meeting because I would've been destroyed.

"I need a fucking drink." I forced a chuckle but noticed the same awkward expression on Rashida's face.

"Three bars one on top, one on the bottom and damn sure one at the pool homie!! Come on bruh, let's get you faded; hey man you toke, uh smoke, huh?"

"We're definitely gonna find out tonight my nigga!"

Koa found my response and immediate ignoring of the atmosphere between him and Rashida humorous draping one of his twenty-four inch biceps across my shoulders. All three of us walked towards the entrance of what I definitely considered a mini mansion. He felt like a mischievous wolf by proxy making me feel like Rashida's little brother. She was surreptitiously checking out his body, but I wasn't gonna call her on it.

There was a dense crowd hanging right in front of the main door. Some of the guests, the younger looking ones were in anime themed cosplay. It was an odd mixture of these kids; some thuggish types I kept an eye on and people who you could tell possessed really deep pockets. Koa's hand was already around Rashida's narrow waist and I just shrugged averting my eyes elsewhere. Unfortunately, my eyes found someone unfortunate.

"¡SÍ CHICA, CAMBIASTE ESO DOMÉSTICO POR UN AUTO EXÓTICO! ¡SUELTA A ESE TONTO DE HIJO EN EL DEPÓSITO DE BASURA Y MANTÉNTE BRILLANTE PERRA!" Shawnee yelled in our direction. Damn near all of the Latin folk in earshot started laughing uproariously. I got a hint when Koa shot me a look laughing as well.