All Comments on 'Mum's Hotel Ch. 03'

Great read. You're setting up an interesting story 5 Stars

Like the way this is going 5 Stars

Your punctuation is better. Great story looking forward to the next 7 chapters 5 Stars

Dr beulahthemick; Much better, look's like you took my advice and got an editor, flow's well and no spelling of faults in the grammar, looking forward to Barry finally nailing his new conquests.

Not much of an incest story. It's starting to really drag out.

I hope you don't go off on another story. I am really into this one and would like another chapter or more. You have a knack for keeping track of all the different characters and what kind of character they are. Great story so far.

I like Barry fondling Bab's tits. I'm all for a slow build up but it's time he got Bab's knockers out. She needs Barry's cock too. Keep working on punctuation as some of the sentences are still too long, but there is alot of improvement. I also think you need to describe the sex in more detail. You go into a great deal of detail about all the business stuff but not much on the sex, which makes Barry seem older than he is in the story.

I like the fast pace and the dialogue. I hope you will come up with a few more chapters to get the relationships sorted and create a reasonable ride into the sunset for all concerned.

This sounds almost exactly like the six chapter "The Hotel" byJack1107.

I still don't get the insects of the 3 parts yet? Plus even the sex is lame no explanation of what is going on in them. Have to say probably not intended in reading any more chapters beyond. This story is like waching a PG movie lol.

You're just rewriting the 6 part " The Hotel " by Jack1107

the second page of this story won't show up