All Comments on 'My Beautiful Twin Sister'

No one talks like that. It was totally clinical.

That was poorly written and just wasn't a great read at all. You need to learn to write and story that flows. Build the storyline, characters that are relatable and the way the condom was introduced was implausible. I regret wasting the time to read it.

Your diatribe about children is sheer drivel. FACT There is no more risk to offspring of an incestuous first generation union than that of 2 unrelated people. The danger increases in children of incest of the next and subsequent generations. The danger lies in both parents having the same recessive genes which guarantees passage to the offspring and that is as likely in a non related couple as close blood relations. The likelihood increases with subsequent generations who also engage in sexual congress producing offspring. Please check your facts before making such statements even in works of fiction.

A good first one, I reckon you cannot really express such an unfolding relationship in writing like a pro, but something tells me this one hints to very real circumstances.

No shooting down, we will be watching and waiting.

Now my sister and I express our love for each other every time we can be sure that no one will learn that we are lovers.

now everybody knows.

I gave up trying to read it, needs a lot of work, as for incest children, there is no more of a chance of them being deformed or dying early then none incest children, its a proven fact

You might feel, for you story, that it is important being impotent. Not so.

Please look up impotent and imagine the possibilities for a young man with great errections and no swimmers.

Following that, I read other comments. Technically, you could also be classified as impotent.

The story line is good. Accuracy Required.

I liked it a lot. I'm 74 and my sister is a year older than me and as a teenager in the 60's was hot as hell. I'd have been all over her like a big dog if she had ever seemed to be so inclined. But our Victorian mother had ruined her early on. I read this story with hard on. I read lots of Literotica incest stories. This one was better than most.

as for incest children, there is no more of a chance of them being deformed or dying early then none incest children, its a proven fact

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BBC Earth

What are the effects of inbreeding?

By Alfie Shaw

This is important as certain congenital defects and genetic diseases, such as cystic fibrosis, are carried by recessive alleles. Inbreeding stacks the odds of being born with such conditions against you. As blood-relative mating partners have similar DNA, the changes of them carrying the same recessive gene is greatly increased. According to a 2011 study, the rate of near natal and childhood death increases if the child comes from a first cousin union, nearly doubling in certain countries...

Inbreeding; perhaps best left to the mites. While it won’t automatically turn anyone into a Hollywood-style serial killer, it does leave your offspring at a greater risk of a whole host of congenital defects and genetic diseases.

there is no more of a chance of them being deformed or dying early then none incest children, its a proven fact

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Smithsonian Magazine

A new analysis of 66 early humans’ remains has revealed an astounding 75 instances of skeletal abnormalities, from bowed femur and arm bones to misshapen jaws, dwarfism, and a swollen braincase consistent with hydrocephalus, a condition characterized by the buildup of fluid inside the skull...

the most probable culprit is rampant inbreeding amongst ancient populations, according to Hallie Buckley, a bioarchaeologist at New Zealand’s University of Otago who was not involved in the new study. Given the limited size and relative isolation of early human communities as evidenced by the low level of genetic diversity seen in previous studies of ancient DNA, Buckley tells Price that “this seems the most likely explanation.”

Now my sister and I express our love for each other every time we can be sure that no one will learn that we are lovers.

now everybody knows.

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My story is fiction. It is not in any way based on my life.

Unfun fact: Charles II of Spain, AKA the poster child for Habsburg memes, had an inbreeding coefficient equivalent to sibling offspring. Kudos to the author for holding their ground against butthurt anons that can't separate their fetish from reality. Would that this site could spare the time to properly moderate itself against blatant disinformation.

Is this a resubmitted story? It felt like I have already read this story a year or two ago. I know that some authors have recently created new accounts and republished past submissions. If I'm mistaken, then please accept my apology.

I really enjoy well written brother/sister love stories. Unfortunately this one has a mediocre narrative. 😕 There were times when I found the narrative to be very cheesy and on a few occasions downright childish.

"My sister and I turned nineteen when the COVID 19 pandemic began. Soon after the beginning of the pandemic, Dad left on a mission somewhere. Before leaving he told us not to ask about it, and not to tell anyone about it."

Bullshit. Even though it's FICTION, you can screw up and destroy the premise. Dad would have most likely had a reasonable cover for his absence if he were being deployed on a secret mission that he wasn't supposed to talk about. He certainly wouldn't draw attention to himself even with his wife and kids by saying such a thing.

"And you're the only man I love," my sister said. "If I date a man who asks me to have sex with him I stop dating him." "I'm glad." I said. "That is what you should do. I love having a beautiful, virgin sister."

Not only was this dialog exceedingly cheesy, I read essays by 14 year old teenagers that had more maturity in them.

This whole piece needs to be rewritten from the beginning. 2/5

SirDigbyChickenCaesar,

Thank you for your comment.

My story was not intended as an endorsement of incest. The story spontaneously came to form in my mind after reading a crude short story featuring incest. I eliminated the crude aspects and included aspects I could use.

I hope that I added plausibility and psychological insight.

I grew up with beautiful sisters. I never experimented with them. I cannot remember wanting to. I did want to protect them.

Persisting Negative Effects of Incest, by D. J. Gelinas

Journal Psychiatry Volume: 46 Issue: 4 Dated: (November 1983) Pages: 312-332

Additionally, periods of promiscuity or prostitution may result, and there is an increased risk of adolescent pregnancy. Other clinical symptoms among incest victims are depression, intense guilt, and drug/alcohol abuse. Incest victims tend to have marital difficulties, and there is an increased risk of their physically and emotionally abusing their children. Three persistent, negative effects of incest are explored: (1) chronic traumatic neurosis, with secondary elaborations resulting from lack of treatment; (2) continuing relational imbalances, with secondary elaborations resulting from lack of treatment; and (3) increased intergenerational risk.

https://www.ojp.gov/ncjrs/virtual-library/abstracts/persisting-negative-effects-incest#:~:text=Other%20clinical%20symptoms%20among%20incest,and%20emotionally%20abusing%20their%20children.

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One can enjoy fantasizing something one would never do, given the opportunity. Nevertheless, we should keep in mind that incest has considerable dangers, not only genetically, but psychologically.

NOBODY talks like this! Are you a child? If you actually want to become a better writer, listen to real people speak, even if it's on television. Read short stories. There are many things that you can do to improve your writing. Find them.

clearedtofuck,

I talk that way. I do not use obscene words in talking or writing. "Vagina" and "vulva" are beautiful words. The c word that is used as a synonym is as ugly as the f word.

Terribly clinical, when I'm critical I try to be fair and give the writer the benefit of the doubt, but this is not the way 'most' people talk about having sex. Talking sex isn't crude, its real live people interacting!