My Dear Beth Ch. 04

I was surprised that his head and body weren't ripped apart and sent flying! Jesus! How could a person survive that?

He collapsed and was... wtf? He was out like a light! I panicked for real and checked to see if he was dead. He still had a pulse, but it was so fast that I couldn't count it, How could he survive that? Jesus, now we'd both had life-changing climaxes that could never be topped. How could he not want to move here, immediately?

But, back to the matters at hand. His heart rate was off the charts! Fuck! I grabbed a tourniquet and a Valium rig. I quickly tied him off above the elbow and stuck him in the crook of the arm. Fuck any bruising; I had to save him. I got an immediate kickback, so I popped the tourniquet off and dosed him. His pulse slowed. I guess he was actually unconscious because he didn't seem to take notice of the fact that I'd just shot drugs into him.

I mentally collapsed from all of the strain that was suddenly lifted and fell beside him and promptly dozed off. Just - wow.

We awoke hours/minutes/days/years later. I didn't care about trivial worldly matters. I had, truly, fucked my lover's brains out and he'd fucked my brains into another part of another universe - another reality.

I'm not sure who came awake first, but it seemed that it was at the same time. Both of us struggled to the surface after having been shoved to the bottom of the lake.

As we became more sentient, he started talking to me in Ecstasy/Ketamine-speak. He was more effusive than I'd ever heard him. He was falling deeper in love with me, and I knew that after the Ecstasy wore off, some of that would fade, but some would stay. I listened to him and would, now and then, praise him for completely exposing his love and soul to me.

I hung on his every word as they became English-language words instead of Ecstasy/Ketamine words. To be frank, they were great words that I didn't have to pretend to hang on to. The man could talk! He was being 100% genuine with how he felt about me and how he felt about us. I was rethinking my plan. Oh, how I loved that man of mine! (yeah, Beetlejuice; so what?)

After an hour of sharing such open intimacy, the Ketamine and Ecstasy were fading and he was lapsing into the afterglow of our lovemaking. I thought about it again and decided that this fucker was not going to get away from me. I loved him with all my heart, and I knew that he loved me. Yet, I also knew that circumstances could take him away from me, and I couldn't allow that to happen - again. I'd lost my first love, my first soulmate, that way. Not again.

I lifted my head from his shoulder, looked at him, and said, "You have no idea how much I love you!"

"Well, right back atcha, Beth! You rock my world like no other!"

"Lover, you just shook my world, crumbled it to small pebbles and rocketed me over the moon! I think that we've just fucked each other's brains out and had an immensely fun, emotional and loving time. I think that I just showed you a whole new part of creation - or am I wrong?"

"Beth, you are NOT wrong! I don't know where I was, but it was not around this corner of existence. I don't know how to describe it."

"Ok, lover - I'm hoping that you have experienced an increased connection to me as I've experienced with you. I felt like we merged on another plane of existence; I can't think of another way to describe it. If you don't think that this describes what you think we went through, please try to tell me about your perception of your experience."

"I think that you've summarized it better than I ever could! Until just now, I was lost as to how to describe my experience, but your words made it clear as day. Frankly, I'm still pretty overwhelmed."

"Then, in light of everything that's happened since you got here, and especially in light of everything since Saturday night, I have a question."

"Ask me anything, my Queen!"

"You know what the question is, but I'm hoping that you've had some time to think things over. It's the question that I asked you two weeks ago."

"Beth, you know that I love you more than I've ever loved anyone and I know that you love me deeply."

My heart started to feel a cold breeze brush across it.

"I also know that one of the things that you love about me is that you can trust me to always keep my word to you."

The cold breeze now included flakes of snow and the wind was threatening to turn into a Nor'easter.

"You and I both know, as I've said, that if I broke my word to my clients, then I would no longer be a man that you could love. Do you agree with that, or am I wrong?"

The flakes of snow on the harsh wind started to coat my heart.

They accumulated in small clumps and those clumps were turning to shards of ice.

I knew what he was asking. Was I the woman that he'd fallen in love with that shared so many values with him?

Our word was our unbreakable bond to whomever we spoke it.

"My love, is there no alternative that you can suggest?"

"Beth, I'm completely committed to you and my future step-daughter, but I just can't move here full-time, right now. I can't sell my company and abandon my clients. I've quit taking on new clients and I'm not taking any more projects from existing clients. I've also told my clients that I'll be selling the company as soon as I've finished all of my current projects.

I just can't see any alternative unless you're willing to give your ex-husband custody of your daughter and move in with me. Of course, we both know that you can't and won't, and I love that about you. Your devotion to her means that I can expect the same devotion when we're married. Am I wrong? I'm open to any alternative you can think of that meets each of our priorities and keeps our love intact."

Fuck. Trying to 'logic' me? Well... fuck him.

"Love of my life, my heart had already told me what you were going to say. I would implore you to rethink my request. Ireally would like for you to move in and commit to me! I can't tell you what it would mean for me - and you! (lower voice) Especially you."

"Beth, I just can't right now, honey. I hope that you understand!"

"Yes, love, you're right. However, I'd like to say just one thing." I paused.

"Yes?"

"Spaceballs, motherfucker, SPACE FUCKING BALLS!"

FUCK!

I got up and kicked the wardrobe, hard, and I think that I fractured my big toe. Wow! My toe really fucking hurts! Lots and lots more swearing.

Ok, well, I have to do what I have to do. Fuck. Motherfucker. He shoulda seen this coming!

I had him get in the middle of the bed and I restrained his prevaricating ass! Fuck!

I attached his HRO2 gauge to his index finger on his right hand. Fuck, fuck, fuck! Man, I didn't want to go this route!

I left him in a trance and I went and sat in the livingroom and pondered on everything. Now that I was faced with the reality of what I was about to do, it was overwhelming me. FUCK! I was pissed at him, although I knew that his position was eminently reasonable. Fuck. Fuck him! Why the fuck couldn't he just commit?? Yeah, I know. I knew the answer and if he'd committed and bailed on his customers, he wouldn't be the man that I loved. Why couldn't he offer an alternative?!

Fuck him! Fuck him! Fuck, fuck, fuck! Fuck!

Oh, I wasNOT happy.

I sat in the livingroom for hours. As evening approached, I was still there. I'd gone back in the bedroom, from time to time, to wake him and retrance him; I didn't want him to come out of trance on his own.

I really, really didn't want to get him like this. But, here we were. I decided that I had to do what I had to do. You see that, right?? Of course, you do. Anyone in my place who loved her man as I did would do the same thing! Oh, how I fucking loved that fucking fucker sonofabitch fucking fucker man of mine!.

Several times, I went in and woke him and asked him to reconsider, but he had given up on trying to reason with me and just said that he'd already told me why he couldn't commit right now and would I please quit asking the same question in such quick succession. (for him, time stopped when he was tranced and started when I woke him)

It was late when I came to the end of my contemplations. I woke him and we agreed to talk about this tomorrow. Well, I agreed. He mumbled something. Sleep wouldn't hurt either of us. I put everything away and he watched me with what I thought was a remarkable calm.

We showered and went back to bed.

I tranced him and put in a narrative to leave him comfortable with cuddling, kissing and whispering each other to sleep. I brought him out of the trance and we did all of those things.

We both fell peacefully asleep.

Blue Monday, indeed.

****

Tuesday morning dawned with a clear sky and cooler temps. We drove into Seattle and had a great breakfast, groping each other the entire way. I even gave him a climax on the way back. I guess it was pretty strong as he yelled for me to take the wheel.

I almost had him stop the truck so that I could strip his jeans off and clean them with my mouth and tongue as an after-breakfast treat.

*****

After we got home, I found that I'd retreated from my determination. I really, really didn't want to force him. I wanted him to be spontaneous and funny and sexy and loving me like he was doing right now! Damn, his gorgeous blue eyes twinkled every time he looked at me.

Fuck it. I could wait a day or two before I subjugated his loyal ass. His loyalty to his clients was the right thing, but - still - couldn't he offer up an alternative solution to my all-too-reasonable request?

We spent that day and, as it turned out, four more, in and out of bed. Sometimes with drugs, but mostly not. We were driving up in the mountains or down along the coast. I was so in love with him - and I knew that he was in love with me. We were really having the vacation of our lives!

Before I went to sleep on Saturday, I decided that Sunday would be the day for the final push to enslave him. We would both be well-rested, relaxed, and happy.

That left me 7 days to bind him to me.

*****

Sunday dawned just as gorgeous as Saturday! The day was starting out beautifully.

After we'd awakened, and while we were cuddling in the comfort of the birth of a new day, I posed the question again. Because, ya know; I just had to try. I had to give him a last chance.

Fucking fucking fucking sombitch motherfucker!

I just said, "Sorry! I'm such a bonehead! You won't hear that question from me ever again. I will wait until you can commit and move here."

"Beth, thank you. I was just about at the end of my rope regarding that question. Thanks so much for putting the issue to rest."

Huh. Sure, buddy. Little do you know what's waiting for you after breakfast.

I said, "Now, what about breakfast? Seattle or here?"

"Seattle! Let's go to that French breakfast place that you like so much!"

"Ok, babe! Sounds good! I'm going to take a few in the bathroom and then we can leave."

*****

I don't know how much time I'll have to write after we get back, but I don't think it would be much, if any. So, I'm catching the journal up from Saturday so that I don't forget anything. Now, off we go for his last breakfast as a free man.

*****

End of Ch. 04

Oh, my! Beth can trance him with one word and eliminate any resistance to her restraining him on her bed where she can drug him up to enable total hypnotic control. It seems that he's truly fucked.

*****