All Comments on 'My Dearest Son'

Loved the story! Great build up. I really got invested in these two and the roughness was very hot.

(A little note would be to watch the pronouns. It's easy to mix them up when you're in the heat of writing, and you can still understand what's happening as is, but it does somewhat pull you out of the moment when they're mixed up.)

Please check how and where gender related his/her were used. That's all. Good story. Cab't wait for part II

Interesting premise.

But the sex began much too abruptly. And zoomed ahead much too fast.

For a virgin she seemed to have no trepidation about anything.

Before she licked his cock, why not some handling of it? Getting to know it? Enjoying how it felt to her. Enjoying how he seemed to be enjoying what she was doing?

First time blowjob and she deep throated him? Huh?

Needed much more in the way of step-by-step progression.

Four stars.

I don't know what I think of the story. I couldn't read much of it. You have a writing style that is the definition of awkward in its crazy mood and tone swings. Are you a native English speaker?

Since there's no indication that Ethan's gender identity is fluid, do have some other reason for repeatedly referring to him as "she"?

Your use of gender made this confusing In parts to no little degree.

You keep bouncing between "he" and "she" when referring to Ethan, but otherwise, it is all male references. Are those typos, or intentional? It just really made it hard to follow the story.

personal pronouns a problem for you ?

Certainly are for me - "her shaft" ?? should have been "his" IF Ethan is a male

These mistakes ruin the flow of the story - which wasn't very good to start with

and it needs an end

Is Ethan a shemale he and her seem to be used interchangably

The fact that you don't seem to understand how pronouns work makes reading this story a real chore. Hard to get people immersed in the story when we can't understand exactly what's going on, or at least have to constantly stop and try to figure out what you're trying to say. Never had to comment negatively on this website before, and I never thought THIS would be the reason.

The gender confusion is easily explainable - it seems that you started the story with Ethan as a girl cause no human male would act the way s/he did

Your editor/proofreader sucks. Too many confusing gender changes and pronoun difficulties. The premise of the story is a good one, but you really need learn some basic grammar. Sorry to be so blunt, but it really detracts from the story.