My Diary Introduction

For the past few months my husband has been working hard on me to improve our sex life. He frequently complains that I'm too passive and inhibited, and encourages me to explore new things to make it more interesting. Initially this started when he caught me watching his porn dvds when he returned early from work. I was so absorbed that I didn't hear him come in. He found me watching a bdsm film, lying on the bed with my hand down my panties and clearly masturbating. I made a rather embarrassing attempt to explain that it was just curiosity that made me pick that particular film. He then revealed that he knew this wasn't the first time I'd played it as he had noted it being moved before. I finally admitted that I was interested but also a little ashamed of these feelings. He explained that it was not uncommon for excitement to come from being controlled and directed. And so he began to lay down some new rules leaving me in no doubt that I would have to comply even though the thought was totally humiliating. Over the next 2 months he encouraged and directed me to try most of the things I'd seen in his films and a few more besides! I didn't think there was anything left for me to offer. But I was wrong. Just this evening he explained his plan.

He told me that he was talking with a man that had commented on some pictures he posted on a fetish contact site. I knew that Jim had posted on a few sites as we often enjoyed reading the comments together. But I had not realised that these posts included some of the heavier scenes which he had filmed! So I was somewhat surprised and embarrassed that anyone had seen them. His new contact wrote to explain that I had acquired something of a cult status among his specialist S and M community. If we agreed he would like to meet and discuss his idea for a professional film shoot. The plan was to include this in a library used exclusively by this group. And potentially to introduce us to the group at one of their meets.

As we read it together I didn't think for a moment that Jim would want to do this. The thought of this was so scary I couldn't believe he would go through with it. I thought I could distract him with something I'd recently learned in our sessions. I assumed the penitent submissive position on my knees in front of him. With my hands clasped behind my back I offered to pleasure him as he wished, as often and wherever he liked. However even as I took his cock deep into my mouth he continued to read the messages. As he read out more details I felt myself getting wetter as he became harder. When he came in my mouth I tried to swallow it but it was just too much. He held me roughly by the hair until he was done. I thought that would be the end of it and went to take a shower. But when I returned he told me that he had replied and arranged a meeting in a few days time. And in addition his contact had proposed that I keep a detailed personal diary of this new adventure. This is the diary from that day onwards:

Tuesday morning

First meeting arranged for this evening. I'm nervous and don't know what to expect. Also a bit curious if the truth be told as I have found some of the submissive play quite exciting recently. I wonder what he looks like. Now I'm scared as I realised I don't know even the most basic thing about this man. .

Maybe there are women that are experienced in this kind of domination scene but I don't include myself in that. There are so many questions I'm nervous to ask.

How many people will be watching? lts just too awful.

It's 2pm and I've just come off the phone to jim. My attempt to put him off just made him mad. I'm to be ready at 7 oclock for a meeting of the 3 of us at a hotel in town. Quite a nice place actually. Maybe this won't be too awful. Also Jim has told me to dress conservatively and smart. Actually I'm a bit surprised that he didn't specify something slutty since that's clearly how he thinks of me.

6:45 pm and quite nervous. Jim tells me we are being collected by a limo sent by our new 'friend'.

Midnight.

Jim's crashed out upstairs and I'm still reeling in shock from tonight's meeting. Initially a pleasant drink and small talk with our new friend Mike, a not unattractive man. It starts with some practical arrangements but soon gives way to several outrageous proposals. His plan is to make me the star of a real amateur film based on my previous experiences with additional scenes that he has written for me. This will be filmed with experienced masters, and potentially mistresses, from his organisation in the lead roles. As the discussion proceeded I became so embarrassed. I can't believe Jim not only wants to do it he even told them some of the things we have done and made further ideas of what they should include. Before we left Mike said that from now on I should call him Mr M and asked me to demonstrate my agreement to him in any way I felt appropriate. For a moment I thought he wanted a blow job or something. This suggestion was just laughed at. All in due course I guess.

In the end it was decided that I should give him my underwear, right there at the table!. They both watched in amusement as I struggled to slide my panties and tights off under the table without attracting attention. Eventually I managed to ball up the panties and passed them over. To my horror he made a big show, holding them up to examine them and commenting on their style and function before laying them on the table by my wine glass. I immediately tried to snatch them up but he swiftly caught my hand. "Leave them for all to see" he said. "For then it is truly symbolic". He then demanded my bra. This was very difficult. FINALLY I used my jacket as a cloak to provide some modesty but then He asked for the bill as I struggled to release the shoulder strap. The waiter was in no hurry to move on and as he cleared the table there was plenty to see as Jim put his arm around me 'accidentally" pulling my jacket open.. Bastard!

At the end of the evening mr M said it was good to have a genuine subject for this exciting project. We meet on Thursday for dinner to introduce the other masters. His last words to me are 'you are an attractive woman but a little too conservatively dressed.' He gave me a card for an exotic up market sex shop nearby. 'take her here' he tells Jim. 'tell them i sent you and ask them to help fitting some corsetry. I want to see you in something which emphasises your hips and breasts, preferably black. Be sure to wear it on Thursday' You must also be sure to pick up some toys Jim. I'll send a list. Try them out before we meet and bring them along.