My Father's Son

My Father's Son by OlympusMons90

*This story contains references to suicide, contains no sex, no revenge, and no raac. Still, I hope some of you enjoy it.

It's a Monday as I sit in the café across the road from where I work in downtown Lincoln, Nebraska. My friend and co-worker Gary Jones walks in, spots me, and makes his way over to join me for lunch. My name is Thomas Egan or Tommy to my friends, I'm twenty-four years old, five foot seven and am employed as an accountant for one of the Nebraska state government departments. Gary works in the same building, he's an IT guy though.

"Hey Tommy, I was just giving Jack shit about our win on Friday night, that fucker is still salty." Gary says with a grin across his face as he picks up the menu.

"You shouldn't rub it in, that's only the first time we've beaten them in four meetings. Besides, he's one of the Manager's, you really shouldn't poke the bear like that." I reply with a chuckle as I sip my coffee.

For the last few months, I've been bowling with Gary and two other co-workers. We go every Friday night, playing against other teams made up mainly of other government employees like us. It's a good night out, a few beers and something to eat. More importantly it gets me out of the apartment that I share with my fiancé Melissa, forcing me to socialize with people which I've never been good at.

"What did you order?" Gary asks me.

"I haven't yet, was waiting for you. I'm getting a steak sandwich." I reply.

"You always get that. I'll get the burger myself." Gary responds as he waives the waiter over to take our orders.

After placing our orders, Gary begins rubbing his forehead, a giveaway sign that something is bothering him.

"What is it?"

"What?" Gary replies.

"Come on, you're the worst poker player ever. Every time you rub your forehead, you're always stressing about something. What is it this time?" I ask again.

"Well, I don't know if I should say anything, it's probably not good."

"For fuck's sake Gary, just spit it out."

"Okay then, on Friday night after bowling I went out to a club not far from here, me and my bud Scott were out having a few drinks. You know, trying to pick up the ladies. Well, I ran into a girl I used to date, Tracey Chambers. Doesn't she work with your Fiancé?" Gary asks me.

"Yeah, they both work together for a small marketing firm a few blocks away. I didn't realize that you used to date Tracey though." I reply.

"Yeah twice, first time was for a few months at the end of our senior year at high school, and again for about six months in our third year in college." Gary responded.

Gary and I went to different high schools but the same local college, however Gary is a year older, so I never really knew him until we started working together.

"So, did you get lucky for a third time then? I'm assuming that's where all this is leading to." I ask, not sure why he seems bothered by it, though.

"Nah, that horse has left the stable. Some women you just don't want to be in a relationship with, and Tracey is one of those. But, for a one-nighter, definitely. She fucking loves sex." Gary replies.

"Why wouldn't you want to be in a relationship with her again? What happened? Did she break your heart or something?"

"We were never that serious, but let's just say that she liked to keep her options open, always."

"What? Did she fool around on you?"

"It's complicated, she made it clear when we were in college that she didn't want to be tied down, that we should both be open to having fun, you know, with other people. We had what I guess you could call an open relationship." Gary divulges.

"That sounds like every young man's wet dream, you get to bang your own girl and then whoever else you get lucky with. What was the problem?" I respond.

"That she was getting laid way more than me. And by the looks of her on Friday night, not much has changed." Gary answers.

"So, is that it? What's the issue? Do you still like her or something?" I prod him further.

"No, not for a relationship, like I said I was done with her back in college."

"Then what are you all worried about then? You look like you have something on your mind." I ask again.

"Well, does Tracey go out with your girlfriend on Friday nights? I mean, I've never actually met your girlfriend, but her name's Melissa, right?"

"Yeah, it's Melissa. She goes out with some of her co-workers every Friday night, that's why I joined your bowling team. I didn't want to be stuck at home on my own." I respond.

"Do you know if Tracey is one of them, the co-workers that Melissa goes out with?" Gary asks further.

"Yeah, Tracey's her best friend now since they started working together about a year ago. That's why I'm a little surprised to find out that you and Tracey were college sweethearts as well. It's a small world I guess." I reply.

"Yeah, Lincoln isn't that big, I suppose. But she was never my sweetheart or anything, she dated a ton of guys in college, I was just one of them."

"Okay, is that it?" I ask Gary.

"No, there's more. I saw two other girls with Tracey on Friday night. They were all getting plenty of male admirers, dancing with them and getting pretty friendly with the guys, if you understand where I'm going with this." Gary replies as we get interrupted with our meals being delivered to our table.

As the waiter leaves, I'm starting to get a bit annoyed with what Gary might be insinuating about my Fiancé.

"You don't even know Melissa, and you're going to sit here and tell me what? That you think she's fooling around on me." I respond, my annoyance clearly showing.

"Tommy, you're right, I don't even know if it's your fiancé that I'm talking about. I just know that there were two girls with Tracey. A tallish brunette they called Jess, and a smaller thin blonde named Melissa. But all three were dancing with guys, making out with them, and they all left together with the guys at the same time. I don't know if they were going to another club or going somewhere else. Hell, I don't even know if that Melissa is the same as yours." Gary responds a little defensively.

I sit here, unsure how to take all this. Melissa is a smallish thin blonde, and her friends are Tracey and Jessica just like Gary described. I reach for my phone, opening my photo gallery and show him a picture of my fiancé.

"Is this the Melissa you saw at the club?" I ask while holding up my phone.

"Yeah, that's her. I'm sorry Tommy, I figured you needed to know." Gary responds.

"What exactly did you see her doing? Not Tracey or Jess. What did you see Melissa doing when you were there?" I ask, more urgently.

"I'll be honest, I wasn't paying a lot of attention to her most of the time. She was with a guy, I thought they were a couple, you know, that he was her boyfriend. Jess and Tracey were dancing with a few different guys, and my buddy Scott fancied Jess. He chatted and danced with her a bit as well, but she started to get really friendly with one of the other guys, so we moved on." Gary answers.

"What did you see Melissa doing though? Why did you think this guy was her boyfriend?" I ask again.

"He was the only one she danced with, and I saw them snuggling at one of the tables as well. I also remember seeing them kissing too, I'm sorry Tommy. I've been thinking about whether to tell you since then, but if it was me, I'd want to know." Gary replies, shaking his head a little.

I place my head in my hands for a moment, this can't be happening again. Seriously, what the fuck!

"Look, Tommy. Once Melissa started going out with Tracey, this was probably always on the cards. Tracey's just not a good influence for your girlfriend to be hanging out with." Gary adds.

"When they left, were they going home together or going to another club?"

"I don't know, we stayed at the club after they left."

"Did they look like they'd had enough, you can usually tell when someone is heading to another club or when they're going home." I respond.

"I honestly can't say for sure. But if I was guessing, it'd be that they were all leaving to head back to someone's place, not another club. But I'm only guessing here."

I'm thinking to myself, I got home on Friday at about 10pm, Melissa got home at about 1am. If Gary went out after bowling maybe she was heading home, back to me.

"Do you remember what the time was when they left?" I quickly ask Gary.

"Oh, shit. We got to the club at about ten-thirty or so, they were already there dancing with the other guys. I'd say they left shortly before midnight, because we stayed for at least another hour, and I got home just after 1am." Gary replies.

Fuck! They had plenty of time to do something before Melissa got home. Now I start to wonder who this guy is that she was with. Does she hook up with him every Friday? She normally gets home at about 1am, last Friday wasn't any different to normal.

"Do you know the guy, that Melissa was with? Have you seen him before?" I ask Gary.

"No, I don't know him. The guy that the tall brunette, Jess, hooked up with, I've seen him around before though. He went to our college as well, but he was at least a year or two ahead of me. I don't know his name though."

"Thanks anyway. I do appreciate you telling me though, Gary. You were right to let me know." I reply in a solemn tone.

"No problem. What are you going to do?"

"Don't know yet. I'm not sure if she's actually cheating on me or just fooling around a bit. Even just fooling around is probably enough for me to end it with her, though. I just need to think it through."

We finished our lunch before heading back to work. I'm not sure what I should do next. Confront her? Maybe I should see if I can find anything out about what she gets up to on Friday nights? There is one thing I'm definitely not going to do, and that's to except this or just do nothing. That's not an option.

I left work early, there was no way I was going to be able to focus on anything in my current mood. I didn't want to go home yet though either, I needed to think on this before I speak to Melissa. Just near work is a bar on O Street, and I decided that was as good as any place to figure my shit out.

The bar was almost empty after the lunch break had finished, so I relaxed at a back table with a beer. My thoughts turn to Melissa, the woman I've been planning to marry. We first met in my last year in college, Melissa was a year behind me, and we majored in different subjects. But from the moment we met, I knew that this time she was the one for me.

Melissa is a little more outgoing than me, I've been called a nerd plenty of times but that's not really true; I'm just a little reserved is all. It's not that I'm shy, it just takes me quite a while to warm up to people. Melissa has made it easier for me to meet new people, she never has a problem with that. She's also a bit more impulsive than me, my reserved nature means that I'm more likely to think on something for a bit before acting. A bit like what I'm doing right now.

But it's our differences in personality that's the reason we get along so well together. It's like together we complement each other. We moved in together while she was completing her final year at college, I had already started work as an accountant. Six months ago, after she had already started working as a Marketing Assistant, I proposed to her at a nice little restaurant downtown.

I've had only two relationships prior to meeting Melissa, the first was in my senior year of high school with a girl named Josie McIntosh. We took each other's virginity during the week of Prom, yeah, a bit cliched I know. Over the holidays before we both went off to college, I found out she was cheating on me. This hurt even more because she was going out of state to college after the holidays, and she promised me that we had all of the Summer to be together, only to find out she was spending far more time with another guy she'd just met.

I quickly ditched Josie and focused on getting ready for college, which is where I met my second girlfriend named Marianne Roberts. We shared a few classes together, so I got to know her over our freshman year. It wasn't until early in our sophomore year that we began dating. We were together for over two years in college, and it was initially Marianne who I had my heart set on marrying.

Marianne was studying law and was great to be with, very smart and very direct in telling you what she thought. She could be somewhat opinionated, but this was college after all, though she also got along with most everyone. Her sense of humor was a lot like mine, on the darker side. After Josie, I thought I'd hit the jackpot with Marianne. We'd planned to go on a big trip to Greece after we both graduated, before we settled down to get jobs and live out the rest of our lives together.

All of that unraveled early in our final year, I had bailed on some classes to go visit her at the house she shared with two other girls, hoping to have some fun time while we had the place to ourselves. Well, it turned out that Marianne had the same idea, it just wasn't with me. This one hurt far more than with Josie, this relationship seemed to be the real deal for me, which made Marianne's betrayal all the more painful.

I spent the rest of the year getting over her by focusing on my studies, it was only after the worst Christmas holidays that I've ever had, that I returned to campus meeting Melissa for the first time. Up until then everything seemed a never-ending dismal grey, having just spent the Christmas holidays going to my father's funeral.

Once I met Melissa, she changed my whole outlook by making the world feel bright once more. She made me feel alive again and hopeful in life.

Now I have to try to deal with the very real possibility that Melissa is also cheating on me, just like Josie and Marianne before her. I cannot help but feel this will once again place a dark cloud over me if I let it. To think that for the last few months, I've been dropping the occasional hints that maybe we should start a family straight after we get married, that idea seems somewhat delusional now.

I made my way up to the bar to order another beer, my phone told me it was 4pm already. Melissa and I usually catch the same bus home together after 5pm, I'm not sure if I can deal with her right now. What would I say? 'A friend of mine you've never met watched you on Friday night dancing and kissing another guy, and so that's it, our marriage is off, we're done'.

I can't help but think of my dad, Mark Egan at this time, and everything he went through. I've spent my adolescent through to adult years determined that I'd never follow in his footsteps, that I'd never be like him.

I loved my dad; we had a special bond that only fathers and sons have. That's not to say I didn't love my mom, or she me, it was just different, I was my father's son. And that's what worries me, that my life seems to be following in his footsteps even though I've been determined for it not to be.

My father was an accountant for all his working life until he passed away at just forty-four years old when I was in my final year of college. Now like him, I'm working as an accountant too. But that's not the similarity between us that concerns me. It's the type of marriage he had with my mother, Jennifer Egan, that I'm determined not to follow.

Looking from the outside they seemed to have a strong loving marriage, both professionals with a loving child, a nice home in the suburbs of middle America, and Lincoln, Nebraska is certainly that. Even from the inside, their marriage seemed blissful and happy, we went on fun holidays together occasionally, and I never really wanted for anything growing up.

Mom and dad always got along very well and were affectionate to each other too. They loved to talk to each other and almost never argued. On the rare occasion they did, it was quickly forgotten, they'd kiss and hug and move on with their lives. Yeah, my childhood seemed like it was as good as everyone else's that I knew. I had my best friend Raymond who's been with me since my earliest memories, and to this day he's still my best friend. His father Charlie, who I was raised to call 'Uncle Charlie' is where my parent's story differs from most other kids' parent's when I was growing up.

You see, Uncle Charlie and my dad were best friends since they were both young, I guess much the same way as I am with Raymond. Uncle Charlie runs a small electrical appliance business, it's where his son Raymond now works as a mechanic. But ever since I can remember, I've also known that Uncle Charlie has a special relationship with my mom as well. A relationship that you could hardly call 'normal'.

My earliest memory of their special relationship was being woken up late at night, well past my bedtime. I could hear my mom screaming and cursing, but somehow, I knew she wasn't hurt. I was confused as I opened my bedroom door, my room was next to my parent's bedroom, and I noticed that the television was on in the living room. Walking down the hallway, I found my dad watching a show. When he saw me, I remember that he kind of looked sad. I didn't understand at the time, but I'm sure that having his wife and best friend waking up his young son while having noisy sex is not something most dads would be proud of.

He got me to sit down with him and watch the television, I even remember him turning the sound up a bit to help drown out the noise coming from my parents' bedroom. My mom and Uncle Charlie always got together on Saturday nights, not just occasionally, but every Saturday night from ever since I can remember to the time I left home to stay on campus at college.

In fact, I'm sure they're still hooking up now even after my dad has passed. It's the reason that since my father's funeral, I haven't spoken a word to my mom, not one. And my dad didn't die of cancer, or an accident. No, he took his own life just a few days before Christmas nearly two years ago now.

I remember that when I was young, I always looked forward to the weekdays after school when I would spend my time with Raymond, whether it was playing with trucks in the sandpit, learning how to ride a bike, or to shooting hoops in the driveway. Ray always spent the weekend at his mom's house, his dad Charlie and his mom were briefly married but were since divorced. Ray's mom then gave Charlie custody of Ray when she met her current husband back when Ray was only a few years old. I don't think Ray's new stepdad wanted someone else's kid being around all the time.

I also remember being a few years older than from my first memory of Uncle Charlie and my mom having their Saturday nights together, that my parents were chatting and drinking together with Uncle Charlie in the dining room while I watched a movie on the TV. My bedtime curfew was a bit later now so I got to stay up, late enough that often my mom and Uncle Charlie would quietly head into the bedroom together while my dad would join me to watch the end of the movie together.

On one of those nights, I kept looking over at my dad. He seemed somewhat resigned to what was going on in their bedroom, he still seemed a little sad to me that it was happening. When I asked bluntly as kids do, why Uncle Charlie and mom go off to make babies together, I think my dad was a little rattled. I don't think he thought I knew what it was that they were doing together.

Before that it was just 'they're having some adult time' if ever I asked. But now he knew that I understood what was going on, and he seemed a little depressed by it, that even his own son was now pointing it out.

I never did understand why mom would fuck Uncle Charlie, or why my dad would allow it to happen, especially under his own roof. And he always remained best friends with Uncle Charlie throughout this as well, something else I've found hard to understand.