My Father's Son

When I was nearing the end of elementary school, the neighbors' kids along with me, Ray and two other kids would play football in one of our back yards. The two brothers, Rick and Jeremy, lived in the house behind ours, and we were playing in their backyard this day when I got into a fight with the older one, Rick.

We had just beaten them, but Rick was always a sore loser. This day though he crossed the line. When he complained like he always did, I called him a pussy and told him to take it like a man. Well, he replied that everyone knows how my mom takes it. That she likes to get fucked by a big black guy every weekend, and that at least his dad wasn't a little wimpy cuckold bitch like my dad.

That was the first time I'd ever heard that word, cuckold. I had no idea what it meant, but I understood exactly what he was saying, he was demeaning my dad with a slur. I ran over and punched him in the face as hard as I could. I wasn't a big kid at all, maybe slightly below average in height and size as with other kids my age, but the anger I felt in that moment, was enough to send Rick to the ground with his nose all bloody.

He's lucky, because if I hadn't punched him, Ray would have. Ray, like his dad Charlie, is tall with a strong athletic build. Ray has always been good at sports too, with football and basketball his favorites. Though we're the same age, Ray looks like he's a year or two older, and a good eight inches taller. At school, bullies soon learnt to leave me alone, because they'd have to deal with Ray if they didn't. And Ray could fight too, I saw him beat the hell out one bully who was picking on me and one of our friends at school, he barely even raised a sweat doing it.

But later that day after the fight at my neighbors, Rick's parents were furious and demanded an apology. I was angry because I wanted to say what Rick had said, that I was justified in punching him. But I didn't want to tell my dad what everyone else in our neighborhood was saying about him, I was too embarrassed.

So, I apologized but then proceeded to be angry with my mom, because in my mind at the time, she was the one that caused all this in the first place. Mom could tell something was up with me and later cornered me to tell her what actually happened, so I did, every damn word of it.

My mom didn't seem to handle that too well, going off into her bedroom and crying. I didn't understand why when it was dad that they were insulting, and it was all her fault as far as I could tell. Within a week, as I got home from school one afternoon, I saw a big 'For Sale' sign in our front yard. We were moving. Luckily it was only to the other side of town, not to somewhere else in Nebraska.

After we moved, it was my mom who would then leave to visit Uncle Charlie at his house every Saturday night, he rarely came to our house on those Saturday nights after that. Looking back now that I'm older, it's clear that my parent's cared about how they were perceived in the community, and that my dad couldn't stand to be ridiculed or mocked by all of our neighbors just because my mom wanted to fuck Uncle Charlie.

To this day I have never asked her why. Why would she do that to the man that loved her? The man she said she loved too. Why would she slowly destroy him by sleeping with his best friend every weekend? I could see the look in my dad's eyes when he was there with me as a kid, pretending not to listen as my mom had her fun just down the hallway. I never understood it, just that I knew it made him seem depressed, that it was slowly killing him inside and eventually it led to him taking his own life.

That's why I've been determined to never be like him, that I'd never accept it like he did.

I look back at my phone, it's almost 5pm. I can't deal with Melissa and what she may have done right now. Her actions have brought up everything I've tried to suppress about my parent's back to the fore, I need to talk to Raymond. I need to get my head straight.

I texted Melissa that I was on my way to Ray's place, that I'd be home later. I texted Ray to see if he'd be home after work, he told me he would be.

"Hey Tommy, I'm a bit surprised to see you over on a weeknight. Is something up?" Raymond asks as he lets me in the front door.

"Yeah, you could say that. Just something with me and Melissa, but I was hoping to talk to you about something else, about our parents." I reply as we both sit down in his living room.

Ray just raises his eyebrows, us talking about our parents and their 'special' relationship is something me and Ray have avoided our whole lives so far.

"Hold on, do you want a beer first? I got a few in the fridge."

"That'd be good, I might need it."

Ray returns with two beers, and we sit down again, I'm not sure where to start.

"I've been thinking about my dad this afternoon, and everything that happened with my mom and your dad. None of it makes any sense to me. Before it was just something that we'd never talk about, not with you, not with my mom and dad, no-one. I've been trying to figure out why they did it, how they could do that to him."

"I probably don't have the answers, Tommy. I mean, I didn't know there was something going on between my dad and Auntie Jenn until I was probably much older than you. That's when your mom started to come over to our place on Saturday nights after you moved, most of the time I was at my mom's, but sometimes my mom was too busy, and I'd stay home. My dad would tell me to play video games or watch a movie out in the living room while he 'talked' with Auntie Jenn in his room, that I wasn't to interrupt them."

"So, he never said anything about it? You never asked him why my mom was over visiting without my dad?"

"Oh, I knew why she was over, I could hear them. I wasn't stupid, I knew exactly what they were doing. My dad never seemed to want to talk about it, so I didn't ask."

"Did he ever talk about my father? I mean, when my mom wasn't over. Just day to day."

"He spoke with your dad almost every day, as far as I could tell they were still best friends, right up until your dad passed away." Ray responds.

"None of this makes any sense." I say as I shrug.

"Come on, Tommy. It might not have made any sense when we were younger, but surely you understand what they were doing now. It's pretty damn obvious." Ray replies while shaking his head.

"Yeah, my mom was cuckolding my father with your dad. But why? That's the part I don't get."

"Why does any guy let their wife or girlfriend fuck another guy? Hell, I've been approached a few times to fuck someone's girl. People are kinkier than you think, Tommy."

"Why would they ask you?" I ask, maybe I'm a bit naïve or something.

"Because for some couples, that's their thing. For the guy to watch some hung black dude fuck their missus. I've thought about accepting a few times too, but I always think of your parents and what happened to your dad. I'd rather not be a part of something like that."

"Are you saying that my parent's wanted this, I mean, that my dad may have wanted this too?"

"If he didn't, I know my old man would never have slept with your mom. My dad loved Uncle Mark like they were brothers. To this day, I've never heard my old man say anything bad about your father, not once." Ray responds.

I'm struggling to accept that my dad might have wanted this, for Uncle Charlie to fuck my mom. If it made him sad, why would he want it?

"He seemed sad and a little depressed to me, every time my mom and your dad went off to the bedroom. How could he have wanted this?" I ask, not really expecting Ray to have the answer.

"I don't know, Tommy. Maybe your mom wanted to do this, maybe your dad had no other choice but to agree or face losing her. Who knows?"

"Still doesn't explain why though. You said some couples get off on that stuff, but this has been going on since we were kids. I bet my mom still sees your dad even now after my father is no longer around. If it was their 'thing', their kink, then why are they still doing it now?" I ask Ray, still a little confused.

"You don't really want me to answer that, do you Tommy?" Ray asks with his eyebrows raised.

"Yes. Yes, I do."

"Alright, you sure? I'm not saying that this is why our parents did it, but I think it's why most do."

"Fine." I answer Ray.

"I think that the couples that bring in another guy, it's usually because the guy thinks he can't satisfy his woman. That he either wants someone else to satisfy her because he can't, or because he's afraid that if he doesn't allow it, that sooner or later she'll leave him anyway. That's my take on it." Ray answers.

I just sit here, not sure how to respond to that.

"Then there are also the guys that really get off on watching their woman getting fucked, but that wasn't your dad. I doubt he ever watched them doing it, not even once." Ray adds further.

"So, what was the first point? That the guy gets another man to satisfy his wife because he can't. Why the fuck would he want to do that? I don't get it." I ask further.

"Because the guy loves his wife. He wants her to be happy, I'm guessing. If he can't get the job done, he finds someone else who can."

"Or he's afraid that if he doesn't, she'll leave him?" I respond.

"Yeah, most women won't come straight out and tell their man that they're crap in bed. They'll just start fucking someone else instead." Ray responds.

I sit back on the couch, shaking my head.

"In all three of my relationships so far, they've all cheated on me. I must be really crap then." I tell Ray, feeling a little depressed about it.

"What? Are you saying Melissa is cheating on you?" Ray responds, sounding surprised.

"I think so, maybe. A friend from work saw her at a nightclub on Friday, she was dancing and kissing another guy. They left together a good hour or so before she got home. I don't have any proof that she fucked him, but it's looking that way." I respond solemnly.

"Fuck, I'm so sorry Tommy. Is that why you've been thinking about your dad? Are you trying to figure out why Melissa might be cheating on you like your mom did with your old man?"

"Yeah, something like that. I'm worried I'm too much like my father. But I won't put up with that shit though, I just can't do it." I reply defiantly.

"And you shouldn't. But at least let Melissa explain herself though. Maybe she's just getting cold feet about the wedding, some people do that, you know. Want to have a last fling before tying the knot. Maybe she's just nervous about it, I don't know. Besides, I'm the last person to give relationship advice, I'm probably too much like my old man too. I'll be a bachelor for the rest of my life, that'll probably suit me just fine."

"Yeah, now I've got to go home and see Melissa. But I have no idea what to say to her or if I should say anything at all until I know if she's really cheating on me or not. But even her kissing a guy might be enough for me to end it. I'd never do that to her."

"I don't know what to tell you, Tommy. Just maybe don't rush to a decision too quickly. I always thought you two were perfect for each other, that's all."

"Yeah, so did I. Okay, I'm going to head home. Are you still good for hoops on Saturday?" I ask as I stand to leave.

"Of course, I wouldn't miss it for anything. I hope it goes well with Melissa, Tommy."

I just shrug as I make my way out of his apartment.

What am I going to say to Melissa? My reserved nature is telling me to take a step back, to think this through. If I go accusing her of fucking another guy without knowing for sure, I'm probably going to ruin our relationship anyway.

Then again, isn't kissing another guy enough? What does it matter if she fucked him or not? Was this a once off or was this something she's been doing for a while?

No, I'm going to keep my cards close to my chest for now. I need to know more before I ruin our future marriage. There would be no coming back after accusing her of cheating on me if it isn't true.

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As I enter our apartment, Melissa's cooking dinner for us both and she seems exactly like the woman I've fallen in love with. Melissa is a year younger than me at twenty-three years old, she has golden blonde hair with blue eyes, is five foot three, and very fit although most would say she's a bit too thin. If they'd seen her naked, they'd know her body is more toned than skinny. Her breasts suit her body type too, they're B cups almost bordering on C's which look great on her small thin frame.

She leans over and gives me a kiss on the cheek as I enter the kitchen to see what's for dinner.

"Go have a shower, honey. This'll be ready in ten minutes."

I nod in agreement, as I make my way into the bathroom.

As we sit down for dinner shortly after, I'm not saying much, allowing Melissa to drive the conversation as usual.

"How's Raymond? You don't usually go over to see him during the week."

"He's fine. We were just catching up."

"I thought that was what Saturdays are for."

"Yeah."

We continue to eat, neither of us saying anything further to each other for a few minutes.

"Do you want to watch a movie tonight? We can cuddle on the couch." Melissa then asks, trying to get a few words out of me.

"Nah, I got some things to do in the office." I reply, referring to our spare bedroom we have set up as an office.

After a few more minutes of silence, Melissa again speaks up.

"Is something wrong, Thomas? Are you angry with me about something?" Melissa asks quietly.

"No. I'm fine." I respond to her without making eye contact.

"You don't seem fine. You've barely looked at me since you got home."

"I'm tired and I have stuff to do for work. Just leave it." I respond dryly.

Melissa sits back shaking her head. She knows me too well and knows my moods, I'd be a bad poker player if I was up against her. My best bet is to not be around her, for fear that I might say something I'll later regret.

Later that night as we went to bed, Melissa tries to initiate sex with me, but I reject her, telling her I'm too tired and have work stuff on my mind. I think this is the first time I've declined having sex with her, ever. She must now know that something is wrong with me, but I can't bring myself to be intimate with her just so that she wouldn't know how I truly feel, I can't lie to myself or to her like that.

On Tuesday after I get to work, I text Gary to make sure he's coming to lunch again today. I need to ask him a favor. As we sit down to eat our lunch, it's Gary who raises what we'd talked about yesterday.

"So, Tommy, did you talk to your girlfriend last night? Anything happen?"

"No, I kept it to myself. I just, I need to know if she's with that guy or not. Was he just someone she was hanging out with for the evening or is it more serious than that. I still don't know if she slept with him, maybe that's where you can help me though, Gary."

"Hey, I'm not going to sleep with your girlfriend if that's where you're going with this." Gary responds with a chuckle.

I shake my head and chuckle a little too, while taking another bite of my steak sandwich.

"No, I meant, maybe you could watch her next Friday to see if she's with the same guy again? Or anything else she might get up to. Then let me know."

"What, am I a detective agency now? Do you want me to get number plates and photos and follow them around?" Gary laughs out loud.

"Hey, maybe I can hack her phone and set up spyware that follows her everywhere and records everything." He continues to laugh.

"No, this isn't make believe. I just want you to go out on Friday night like you always do, and if you see them, maybe watch what they do, who they're with. Melissa especially."

"It was probably just dumb luck that I ran into Tracey and her friends last Friday, there's too many places for them to go. I'd be bar hopping all night long trying to find them. Some of these places have cover charges as well, you know."

"What if I find out where they're going? Would you be okay going there to keep an eye on them?" I ask further.

"Are you sure Tracey won't get suspicious if she sees me at the same club as her again?"

"Does Tracey know where you work, or that you know me? I know Melissa doesn't know you." I respond.

"Nah, I haven't spoken to her since college. I didn't say anything to her last Friday either. I'm not even sure if she knew I was there. My buddy Scott would sure like to have another crack at the brunette again, what was her name? Jess?" Gary asks me.

"Yeah, it's Jess. I don't care if he tries his luck with her, but make sure he doesn't try anything with Melissa though. I'm not trying to entrap her here. And don't tell him about me or about Melissa either, please. If only you and I know, the less chance this will bite me in the ass."

"Yeah, alright. I can do that."

"And please, Gary, keep your distance from Melissa too. Don't chat to her or anything. If we stay together and she meets you later which is bound to happen, I don't want her to think I had my friends spying on her."

"Okay, got it. No chatting up the pretty ladies, but am I allowed to talk with other women, or am I strictly on the clock here?" Gary asks with another laugh.

"Do what you like, just keep an eye on Melissa while you're doing it if you can."

The rest of the week went by slowly, I still wasn't saying much to Melissa at home, but I tried my best to not show my frustration with her for what she did last Friday. I still didn't want to have sex with her, she tried again on Thursday night, but again I made excuses.

I found it hard to focus and have fun bowling on Friday night, to make it worse we played the same team we beat last week but we got thrashed this time. Jack started rubbing it in our faces by about the second frame. Gary was pissed at me, wondering if I was tanking on purpose. We got through it though and finished a good half an hour earlier than usual.

As we were leaving, Gary came over and spoke to me.

"So, any luck finding out where they're going tonight? You still want me to do this, right?"

"Yeah, she said they're heading to Gravity first, that's all she said. Hopefully they'll still be there when you get there."

"Alright, fingers crossed then. By the way, do you want me to call or text you or something. Only if I see something, or call anyway?" Gary asks as we approach our cars.

"Just text me if they're there so I know. Maybe just text me any updates, but if something really does happen, like Melissa heading home with another guy, please call me."

"Yeah, sure. I can do that. Alright, I'm off to get showered and changed. Hopefully I'll have nothing to report back this time."

"Yeah, I hope so too."

I guess I'll find out before the night is done.

My phone chimes with a text message; I've just got out of the shower after getting home. I'm thinking that he's quick, but Gary lives close to downtown so maybe he's at the night club already.

I checked and I was right.

'Just arrived, the three girls are here. Tracey already dancing with a guy. The other two sitting on their own.'

Okay, at least the guy she was with last week isn't with her yet. Let's see if it stays that way. I heated up the leftovers from the previous night's dinner, if I do end up breaking up with Melissa, I'm really going to miss her cooking.

Halfway through my meal, my phone chimes again.

'Scott is dancing with Jess. She seems keen on him tonight. Tracey being chatted up by guy #2. Melissa still on her own.'

Okay, that's still good news. A part of me is getting a bit more hopeful.

I sit back to watch a movie, it's only ten thirty and I want to be up in case Gary texts me again, or God forbid he calls me.

By eleven, my phone chimes once again.