My Journey Ch. 03 - Katherine

I crawled into my Jeep and drove home. I truly hoped that when I got home I would see the little red light blinking. I opened the apartment door and looked it wasn't. I was now dejected, more frustrated and replayed the conversation in my head again. I needed to understand.

I stepped into the shower and tried to think but nothing came to mind. I let the hot water assist in melting the stress as I stripped, washed and rinsed out my clothes hanging them to drip dry. I got out of the shower and realized I was hungry. I made a simple dinner then waited.

I waited for her call. Well I was hoping she would call. Except for when I was at the Officers Basic Course, we hadn't gone more than 30 hours of at least a quick call; ever.

At 6:15, I heard my phone ring; I reached for it, took a deep breath and tentatively answered. "Hello?"

She was soft and hesitant. "Hey, are you okay?" She asked.

"No!" I exhaled quickly, "I don't know ... I guess, I am worried about us."

So many emotions were running through my head. "You called me Katherine again. And there are a few other things happening that worry me."

She was quick to respond, "Like what?"

"Mary Beth, well first off, why are you calling me Katherine?" I was trying to remain calm without my voice getting too loud.

"Why did you hang up on me?" My voice cracked, I started speeding up when I spoke, I was nervous. "You didn't tell me you love me."

I heard her sobbing, "MB talk to me, what is wrong?" I was calm, "Are you okay? Are you sick?"

I hesitated, "Are ... are we okay?"

"Yes, we are okay." She responded emphatically. "I am embarrassed Kathie, just embarrassed. Nothing more but I need to admit to you that I don't have money for a vacation yet." She paused and I could hear her staggering breaths.

"I am saving as much as I can but I do not make the same money as you do." She paused, "I do not want to be your charity case."

I wanted to interrupt her but didn't. She continued, I just listened, and she needed release and sounded very worried and stressed out.

"I shouldn't have moved out, this is too much with my student loans. I'm thinking I might need a second job. I am really trying to save and spend thrifty but its close each pay period." She paused, "its hard Love!"

Whew! She called me "Love" and I felt better instantly.

"Okay, you called me Love, that's important and it means so much to me Mary Beth."

I needed to reassure and console her.

"You spent so much money flying down here to see me; you bought that beautiful dress for the wedding and the lingerie. That beautiful red on you was just so stunning. I still see you in my dreams MB."

I heard her calm down. "Mary Beth, the Army is paying me to come up to this course. I want this for us, I don't want to make you uncomfortable but you must know how much I love you and I am not asking for money, I want to do this for you and for us!" I reassured her.

"Baby, I will be in Washington DC for 4 months, just think about the weekend opportunities we could have together. Just think about it."

Then said, "I didn't know you were stressed about money but let me be here for you."

"I want to be respectful of you but if you need assistance, let me help. Allow me to pay for the vacation trip, it's just hotel, food, some gas."

I heard her start to sob again. "Baby, let's talk this out."

"Kathie, I love you. I really love you and need you."

"I am here baby; I am right here and will be home to spend two nights before this course and a week after it with you, just you."

For the next hour and a half we talked on the phone. We talked about our relationship, we talked about our love for each other but most importantly we talked. We communicated, openly and with love flowing from our hearts and minds, we talked. We opened up to each other on different levels.

It was as if we were intimate but with our minds and hearts. It was a different conversation than normal, different topics but most importantly it was just about us Mary Beth and Katherine.

In the end Mary Beth agreed and allowed me to book us a few days before the course, and I would tell her where to meet me at and a surprise week after. She would take that time off of work. I promised that I would not take advantage of her or try to overwhelm her. I also promised that she wasn't a charity case, that she was my fiancée and lover.

She similarly promised that I was allowed to help, if she ever needed and that she would reach out to me when she needed help. We each apologized profusely to each other for our past behavior. We apologize if either of us were offensive to the other which was never intended.

I finally spoke up and said, "MB, I have a few days off coming up soon, I want to fly up to see you."

"Kathie, I would never stop you. Just tell me when to pick you up and I will be there."

***

And so I did. I arranged everything with Maj Johnson-Hall and Cpt. Meyers so that I was accounted for. I flew early in the morning again, the second week of March for a Friday through Monday trip.

Mary Beth pretended to be upset with me when she picked me up at the airport. When we arrived back at her apartment, it was a different story.

When I opened my suitcase and handed her a little package, wrapped with nice paper and a red bow. She smiled a wicked smile when she saw the red lace chemise I bought for her. She smiled wider and kissed me when she uncovered the new purple satin camisole top that was also in the box.

That night when I left the shower dressed in the camisole, I apologized for "forgetting" the panties in Georgia.

We cared for each other, we loved each other and we were just together, a loving couple focused on the other. It was one of the best weekends of my life, so far.

March 1986

I had been back in Georgia for a week and was still dreamy and smiling from our weekend together. It was nearly 6:00 pm on my last day off prior to starting the afternoon shift when my phone rang. I let the answering machine pick up as I was tending to some laundry, ironing my nursing whites and prepping my BDU uniforms for the next few weeks.

When the machine picked up I paused and semi-listened in the event I wanted to pick up as the message recorded.

"Katherine, this is Jilla. When you get a chance, would you call us back? We wanted to just chat some more. Now before you get defensive, please know we are not calling to change you. We love you. Talk soon. Bye!"

I wasn't going to call Jilla back, just yet. Mary Beth would call soon and I wanted to spend time with her. Starting afternoon shifts was challenging for us. We do not get to speak on the phone enough or as regularly. I don't get home until 10:45 usually, and she was in bed with her early hours.

I heard the phone ring and looked at the clock, yep, 6:15, that was my Mary Beth.

"Hello!" I was joyful.

"Hi Kathie!"

Our conversation just flowed as we were counting down the days until we would be together. She was super chatty and I just listened. She was going on and on about her day, our trip and other topics including dinner with the family and her brother Ben. It was the first time in a while that she mentioned Ben's name, I thought nothing of it.

Mary Beth told me she was tired and needed to get ready for work tomorrow. We finished the call reaffirming our love and commitment for each other promising to talk over the next two weeks as I was on the afternoon shift.

"Mary Beth, call me every morning before you leave for work. I will have had enough sleep. Please?"

She told me she would consider it but didn't like waking me. That discussion was still undecided, so we hung up. I was smiling and just happy.

I needed a quick snack as I didn't eat a full dinner. I decided on a salad, light and healthy. I was curled up on the couch finishing my salad when the phone rang. I wasn't in the mood; I doubted it was Mary Beth so I let the machine pick it up.

After the announcement and beep, I heard his voice. "Katherine!" It was my father. "I would appreciate it if you would call me back when you are not working. I would like to discuss a private matter with you. Goodbye."

Oh no! He sounded extremely upset at me. What did I do wrong this time?

That next evening, I got home from work just after 10:50. I was so tired I didn't even shower. I just stripped to my panties, reset my alarm, and then crawled into bed. I would call my father later.

To my dismay, Mary Beth didn't call in the morning before she went to work, but that's okay. I woke around 9:00; I dressed in spandex, shorts, my running bra and a shirt. I grabbed my cassette player and was out the door. It was just over 45 minutes later that I walked back up the apartment steps and into my apartment.

I stopped briefly in the kitchen for a quick shopping inventory, and then jumped into the shower. I was now clean, refreshed, and feeling semi normal. I went out and ran an errand or two, mostly food shopping.

Returning from those errands, I saw the blinking light. Looking at the clock, I realized I didn't need to be at the hospital for another few hours. I put the food away, turned on the oven to reheat an already baked potato, some asparagus and broccoli putting the food in to reheat and roast. I then hit play on my answering machine.

You have four messages.

First message - The first part of the message from Mary Beth loved. Then she started to whisper. I could tell she was horny she had this teasing breathy voice about her when she was in that kind of mood. Just the way she said "Kath" I could tell she was really horny. Her voice was a higher pitch and so breathy. Hmmm, that tease.

Next message - "Young lady, I kindly asked you to call me back please. Thank you"

Oh boy!

Next message- "Hey" It was Jilla, "Look, I am trying to help you but Rich isn't listening to me. I do love you and am trying to understand. Call me?"

Next message - Lieutenant Doherty, Cpt. Meyers here, we have your travel orders and leave form for June. I need you to stop by the Headquarters Building to sign everything and discuss advance pay for your TDY. Out!"

End of message ...

I pulled my food from the oven and sat at the table. As it cooled, I picked up the phone and dialed my parents' home. Mother answered, she didn't sound upset or any different.

"Hi Mother!" I tried to sound happy but I was nervous. "Again I apologize but I am on afternoon shift and my schedule is not normal. Is father available please? I am returning his call from the other day."

This was when she said that it was early and he was still at work. I asked her to explain I was on afternoon shift and I would try to call him after I got off work tonight but it would be after 11:00. We exchanged our love for each other and both hung up.

That night as I drove home, from my shift, I decided I would call him. I wasn't too tired and I needed to face his wrath.

I didn't shower; I just stripped and threw on fresh panties and a t-shirt, picked up the phone and called.

Mother answered and when I asked if father was still awake, there was silence on the line for a few moments, I then heard a familiar clicking sound and heard my father tell mother to hang up the phone. There was another click.

"You broke my rules!" His voice stern, not loud but very stern. "I don't understand why you've disobeyed me Katherine. You've disappointed me and I don't know why."

"Father?"

"No!" There was a pause, "I thought our conversation was mutually respectful and understanding. There was an understanding between two adults; you and me. There was an agreed upon respect between us young lady, wasn't there?"

He paused, clearing his throat, almost purposefully dragging this out. "I now find out that you have involved your brother Rich and his wife Jilla. Would you like to explain yourself?"

The phone was silent. "Father, forgive me as I meant not to break your rules. I needed their assistance." I dropped my head, "Father, please allow me to explain."

"I am listening."

I went on to explain how I needed his assistance in getting the phone number. It was for a vacation getaway weekend as I was driving up to Walter Reed prior to the course. A vacation that I wanted to surprise Mary Beth with spending some time with her before starting the course in DC.

I explained to him how I needed Rich and Jilla to understand a little bit in hopes of them helping me. It was so they wouldn't question me needing assistance. So that they weren't caught off guard. I was trying to be open. I was trying to be honest; I didn't want to lie to them.

"Yes, father, I broke your rule. And now I am being punished as Rich will not speak to me." I was starting to get emotional; tears were welling up in my eyes again. "Father, I am so sorry."

"It is my bedtime Katherine; I am very disappointed in you."

And that was it; I heard the line click off. I was shocked, he hung up on me. This was the most difficult conversation I had ever had with him. What hurt the most is when he repeated his disappointment in my actions.

That single comment of how disappointed he was in my actions shocked me to the core.

I stirred my food around knowing I needed to eat. I just wasn't in a good place. I was stressing out even more. I wrapped the food up, and headed to the living room to try and read some study materials for the ICU Course.

The next day, prior to going to the hospital, I stopped by the Medical Headquarters building seeing Cpt. Meyers signing what he needed to sign.

I never called Jilla back. I found the reservations number for the resort by calling directory assistance which I should have thought of originally.

Worse yet, I hadn't heard back from my father. Was I now being ignored and ostracized by him?

I kept this all a secret from Mary Beth. We were in a good place in our relationship and I wanted nothing to change that.

May 1st 1986

My alarm went off at 4:30 in the morning just as I wanted to. I took a quick shower threw on a pair of baggy shorts, shoes, of course a bra and then a t-shirt. I had already packed everything the night before so I added my makeup, blow dryer, and a few other essentials into the two suitcases that I would need.

I lugged the suitcases, my backpack and sunglasses down to the Jeep. I ran back up for my ball cap, thermos of coffee, jug of water and snacks.

I secured my apartment having notified the building manager last week that I would be away TDY while paying my rent a month in advance.

I had stopped at AAA the week before and picked up the trip-tik that I had ordered with the maps and directions on the easiest route to make my way north. I had studied it and it looked rather simple.

I-95 north to Columbia to I-26 north to I-77 north to Charleston, WV then I-81 north to Winchester, Va. Then a more direct route I saw, State Route 522 to I-70 with a brief trek on the Pennsylvania Turnpike to Bedford Springs. A nice resort in west central PA. We were extremely excited to be together for a few days before I needed to be at Walter Reed. In all it was about an 11 1/2 hours' drive.

I flipped my hair through the SnapBack, donned my baseball cap, and off I went, radio blasting just shy of my departure goal of 5:00 am. This early in the day, there was not so much traffic and not as much heat. I would have loved to take the top off the Jeep but two issues, the noise driving at 55 or 60 along with not hearing the music and second, the potential for the rain they were forecasting.

It was just over two hours and 135 miles, opps that heavy foot of mine, I pulled onto I-26 looking for a bathroom and coffee break as well as a pay phone as Mary Beth would be leaving for work soon.

I dialed her number and was thrilled when she answered.

"MB!!" I almost shouted with glee, "I am on my way, nine hours to go, give or take pee breaks and traffic." I paused doing another calculation. "I should be there between 5:30 and 6:30. We have 8:00 pm dinner reservations; please snack so you aren't starving."

"Baby, I am excited also, but please be safe. Take your time. I am scheduled to work until 3:30 today. I love you and will see you there." She sounded thrilled. That warmed my heart; and my panties.

"Love you MB! I will see you and remember, I have your name on the reservation. It's a room with two queen beds. I am just being careful."

We chatted a few more seconds then she told me it was time for her to get a move on. We exchanged our love for each other; I used the bathroom, refilled my thermos and was back on my way.

I was on cloud nine!

Traffic started to get thicker and I turned north on I-77 towards Charlotte, NC. Once outside of Charlotte, NC I needed a break. I found a rest stop, stretched and then was off again.

As I got ready to turn north onto I-81, I saw a Mom & Pop diner just south of Wytheville. I pulled into the gravel parking lot, secured the Jeep and went inside.

It was a seat yourself kind of place and I immediately relaxed into a booth. I had been on the road for about seven hours as traffic had slowed me down. I looked down at my trip-tic and figured that was about the halfway point of my trip. My stomach growled slightly. I could use a light lunch.

A kind woman came over asking if I would like a drink.

"Water and an iced tea? Please ma'am."

She smiled kindly, putting a menu on the table and walked away.

I saw the cover; it was a grilled cheese sandwich and a bowl of tomato soup. The cover boasts "Best Homemade Soup in Virginia."

She returned with my water and tea. "See anything you like?"

I didn't want to be insulting but asked if there was a salad and bowl of soup combinations I could order? "Some of your chicken soup and a smaller salad, I have a few hours to drive ahead of me."

She smiled, "Of course, dear. Be up in a jiffy."

"Ma'am, pardon me." She turned, "Do you have a pay phone inside?"

She nodded and pointed to the back corner where the restrooms were.

"Thank you." I smiled, and then grabbed my purse.

I dropped a few quarters into the slot and dialed.

"Hello?" She answered the phone with hesitation.

"Hi mother!" She was silent. "Mother, it's been weeks, please!" Nothing, just silence.

"I see. I am driving to Walter Reed today for my course. I can only beg and I pray that there will be understanding. "I love you and father. Goodbye." I hung up and stepped into the ladies room.

I cleaned my face and stopped crying then stepped out to have lunch. I was daydreaming when the waitress excused herself, setting the soup and salad down. I smiled up at her, thanked her for her kindness.

I sat and stirred the soup, playing with it. The waitress stopped by refilling my tea glass. "If I may dear, you were a ton happier before you made that phone call. Things okay?"

"Oh, yes. Just a little disagreement with my parents. Me and my crazy lifestyle; I drive a Jeep and that isn't" I used air quotes with my fingers, 'Lady Like'." I tried to smile.

"Well hun, eat up. You need nourishment for your drive."

She was right. I needed something in my stomach. I enjoyed the soup and some of the salad, and finished off the tea. She brought me the bill which she told me I just paid at the register. I thanked her for her kindness and for the soup. I left her a tip then to the register, paying the bill. Outside I put on my sunglasses and started the Jeep for another 6 or 7 hours drive north.

I heard the horn before I saw the car and was shaken out of my very dangerous daydream. I got control of my Jeep then in an apologetic manner waved to the vehicle next to me. I started looking for the next exit or rest area. I needed to stretch and wake up. Damn that was so careless of me.