My Obsessive Crush

We finished with a hug, and as we walked to the door. Poppy turned to face us both. "Is their any chance we could make this work. Like I still love you both, and 'My Obsessive Crush' was such a big part of all our lives. I mean, none of us would have met our partners without it. Plus, I miss playing with youse."

As we hugged, Andi shocked me. "I miss you and Blaire, as well. The band wouldn't be the same without you. I could never do it with anybody else."

"Same." Poppy replied. "You girls sounded great the other day by the way. I loved that bloody thing you were playing, and the way yah moved together. It brought back a lot of sweet memories."

Andi and I exchanged a weird look. "I'd love to get us all back together." She said.

"Yah know it has to include, Kat?"

"Poppy, the promise I made to Kat, is no longer relevant. I made that promise because she gave up her job to join. She's working there again, so I don't feel like the promise I made to her means anything."

"That's true, but she loves the band as much as any of us. She misses you Roz, the only reason her and Blaire, didn't come with me today was we didn't wanna make things difficult."

"We'll talk about it, okay. It's all we can promise."

"Sweet, you know we got an email from the promoter who organises the Lane Way Festival?"

"Yeah, I sent him a reply."

"Oh..." Poppy replied. "What'd yah say?"

"I asked him if he'd be interested in Andi, and me as a duo?"

"Ah, no... Shit... What'd he say?"

"I'm waiting for his reply."

Andi and I didn't really get a chance to discuss it until later that night, when we were tucked up in bed. We snuggled together, kisses, caresses. Her succulent lips sliding over my neck, nibbling, kissing, sucking on my skin sending tingly little electric shocks up and down my body.

Her nakedness, slid over mine, her gooey labia opening to allow my fingers to slide into her molten wet core. The walls of her pussy clinging and contracting around them.

It was slow, deliciously so. I could feel her finger as it rubbed my magic little spot. "Hhhhmm, yes." I whimpered softly. My teeth biting her earlobe.

My fingers tweaking her nipple, her proud prominent buds. Leaning down, I sucked, one then the other into my mouth. My teeth clamping down and pulling sharply. "Ooooh god, you bitch." She rasped seductively. "You know I love that."

"I do." I giggled. "I wondered whether I could make you cum."

"Keep going and we'll find out. It does feel nice."

I rolled her onto her back, my hand pushing between her creamy thighs, my finger dallying at her glistening entrance. I adored her gooey sticky pussy. Her lips swollen, and pulsing. Her arousal, that pungent indulgent aroma of female sex. It was everywhere, her, me, everywhere.

Forcing her legs wide apart, I climbed between them. My mouth kissing it's way to her sweltering portal. Like a flower, petals parting. My tongue slithered into her, and she grabbed hands full of my hair, mashing my face against her sex, her lubricious lips opening and smothering my face. The taste, oh god, so delicious, tangy, earthy goodness.

I could have happily stayed there all night, but I needed her mouth on mine. I yearned for her kiss. Pushing her leg high, I felt my slutty little pussy sliding up her thigh. God, I was sodden.

I settled between her legs, her arms wrapped around my neck holding me in a searing kiss.

I moved slowly, my pussy wriggling and squirming. I felt her moan escape into my mouth as I slid my pussy all over hers, back and forth sliding slickly on our libidinous juices.

One of my favourite things in the world. The feeling of her pussy on mine, her hips jerking spasmodically, squeezing, mashing, pulsing. So dirty, so completely intoxicating. Faster, oh god yes, faster, back and forth, our salacious slits snuggling, caressing clutching. Faster and faster. I fucked her, she fucked me, the wet slushy sounds of our sexes colliding. The passion driving us both to an explosive ending.

Panting wantonly, our mouths still stuck together. We settled, resting. Her head on my boobies.

"What did you think about what Poppy, said?" She asked me.

"Dunno, I know I miss the band. I miss them as well, and yes. That includes, Kat. I don't understand why she affects you the way she does, but I can see how much you hurt."

"I think she scares me, because you were so in love with her. I thought I'd lost you, and I blamed her rather than my lack of courage. She had the one thing I wanted more than anything."

"Andi, my delicious little angel. If you'd only said something to me."

"I know. I was silly, and weak. I was angry with myself, I thought it was wrong, being gay. I heard boys jeering and making crude belittling jokes. I hated that they'd be saying that about me. I loved you, but then was to scared to do anything about it."

"That's not true, you fucked most of the eligible guys around town."

She sniggered against my boob, her tongue flicking out to caress my nipple. "I was such a slut wasn't I."

"You were, a dirty little sex crazed slut, but I don't care. That's the past. All I care about is the future."

She reached up to kiss me. "Thanks babe, yes the future."

We lay quietly, her heart beating on my side. "Roz, what should we do about 'My Obsessive Crush'? We put everything into it. It was my whole life, and I know you felt the same way."

"Do you want me to be honest?"

"Yeah babe, this is serious. I need to know what you think, how you feel. You must miss the girls as much as I do."

"Yeah, course I do. I feel like we never really reached our potential. Like we could have been more, you know."

"Yeah." She sighed. "We were so good when we were on, and now we have all those new songs."

"Yeah, it's a big part of our lives, and the memories are mostly good."

She snuggled closer, "I'm sorry about the bad ones."

"Sall good babe. We're good now aren't we?"

Her wet sloppy kiss, that tasted of sex, felt so good. "Babe, I've never been happier. I don't want anything to spoil this."

"The band... What do you wanna do?" I asked.

"Could we do it? Like I mean maybe we can't go back, maybe it's something that we have to leave?"

"Andi, the only thing stopping this is you and, Kat. Poppy, and Blaire, yeah they're pissed at you cos of the way you vanished. But we can pay them back the money. That's not the prob. It's you and, Kat."

She winced, "yeah... I know, and it's me. That's the reality, it was all me. It was easy for me to lay it all on her."

"It doesn't matter Andi, yah know. We're in a good space. We can focus on our thing, maybe later we'll meet some others and we could I dunno, start again."

Her tears dribbled onto my boob, then trickled uncomfortably down my cleavage. I caressed her scalp, my fingers mussing her hair as my finger tips worked at releasing the tension.

"It wouldn't be the same. Poppy, and Blaire, put a lot into the band. I fucked them over. They didn't do anything wrong. It was all me. I have to own that, like my therapist said. That's the first step."

"What's the second?" I asked.

"Fixing it?" She said softly. "Well, Admitting it to yourself is step one. Step two is saying it aloud, step three is telling a supportive loved one, step four is admitting it to the people you hurt and the final step is offering an amends, trying to find a way to fix the problem."

"How would that work, in this situation?"

"I'm already up to step three. If you could help me, like be there when I apologise to Poppy, and, Blaire. It would mean a lot."

"What about Kat?" I asked.

"I need to talk to the girls first. If they can't forgive me, then the rest doesn't matter does it, because Honestly... I don't care about her."

"Yah know they'll forgive you. You hurt them by cutting them out of your life. I don't think they care about the money, they talk about it cos it's an easy target."

"Do you think we could talk to them first?"

"Yeah, but Kat, will be pissed babe. She'll feel that she's being treated differently, targetted."

"She's not wrong, Roz. I still don't see her as part of 'My Obsessive Crush'."

"You didn't see what happened after you left. Poppy, Blaire, and I tried to make it work, but we couldn't fill the void you left behind. You were a big presence, Andi. It was my suggestion to bring Kat, in. What's more... She was great. She filled the hole you left."

"I get it, you want her to be part of it..."

"I do, but not if you can't deal with it. I don't want you under any stress, I want our baby to be born stress free, happy. I want us to be happy."

"I need to apologise to Poppy, and, Blaire. Will you help?" I felt the tension, the expectation.

"Course, I will always be there for you."

Poppy wasn't happy when I suggested, her and Blaire come over cos Andi wanted to talk to us all.

"What about, Kat?" Poppy asked.

"Can we take baby steps, Poppy? Andi's, still not strong. She wants to talk to you both."

"Yeah, all right."

Andi gripped my hands as we held the door open. Poppy and Blaire, walked up the front steps looking pensive. I greeted them both with big hugs and kisses. Poppy walked into Andi's open arms, and I heard Andi start to sob as they held on, Andi, I'm sure almost afraid to let go.

Blaire, watched on, her hand in mine. Her tough exterior cracking slightly. When Poppy turned and hugged me, Blaire slid into Andi's arms. "Jesus Roz." Poppy whispered.

Blaire sniffled, Andi sobbed loudly. I saw her face over Blaire's shoulder. The pain was excruciating. Seeing her hurt like that was unbearable.

When they stepped back, we all fell into a huge huddle. Our bodies pressed together so tightly we could feel the heat. "Am I safe with you bunch of Lezzies?" Blaire said loudly.

"You should be so lucky." I threw back in jest. "We only go after the hot girls."

"Yeah, that's why I wore two pairs of panties." She sniggered.

"As if that would protect you." Poppy said laughingly.

I waved them through. "The guys are all out, we have the place to ourselves." I announced. "I even got wine."

"Sweet." Poppy said appreciatively.

I poured her and Blaire a glass each as we moved to the sofa. "How come you didn't get youse one as well?" Blaire asked.

"We aren't drinking at the moment." I replied.

"Roz, you don't have to do that. Just because I can't doesn't mean you have to abstain." Andi said forcefully.

"Nah, we're doing it together. I made myself that promise."

She smiled, and whispered. "Thanks babe."

"Is that cos of rehab?" Poppy asked.

Andi glanced at me, and I nodded. "Nah, it's cos I'm pregnant." She said, her voice cracking.

"What the actual fuck!" Blaire gasped nearly dropping her glass of wine.

Poppy just stared at us both, as we sat on the little coffee table, our hands clutched tight together.

"How come we're just hearing this now. I mean like shit girl. Why didn't yah tell us?"

I jumped in, feeling Andi was still building up. "You know... Things have been awkward, we all said things, got mad. We wanted to tell yah the other day, but I dunno, it didn't seem right."

"Shit girl. Like how far, I mean when yah gonna drop?" Blaire asked.

"Three months, and a bit."

"But I thought you were in rehab?"

"Yeah, I was. One of the male orderlies said he could get me some drugs, and I traded him a quickie for them. Trouble is, he never did get me the drugs, but he did give me a delivery."

"Oh shit, you mean like rape?" Blaire spluttered angrily.

Andi, sucked in a deep breath, before replying. "Blaire, it wasn't rape, and it wasn't the first time I traded sexual favours for drugs. I was, still am an addict. I had no money, nowhere to live. I sold everything I owned to get drugs. It got to the stage, the only thing left to sell was my body."

"You were a hooker?"

"Yeah, pretty much."

Blaire glared at me, confused. "You knew all this?"

"Yeah, I know her story. She told me everything."

Poppy put down her wine, her eyes flooded with tears. She knelt in front of us and opened her arms. They fell into another hug, both of them rocking to and fro. "I'm so sorry, Andi. I shoulda done something to help. Seen the signs. Shit I'ma crap friend."

"Nah, not your fault babe." Andi sighed. "I built up a pretty convincing facade. I was so embarrassed I kept it all inside. I tried to convince myself I had it under control, that I could stop any time. Typical addict. I was fucked and didn't know it."

Poppy sat back down beside Blaire, and they both finished their wines quickly. I topped up their glasses. "I wanted to talk to you both so I could apologise." Andi said. "I owe you more than an apology, but I need to start there. I'll pay back the money I owe you."

"Fuck the money." Blaire muttered in exasperation. "It was never about fucking money... We were worried, we didn't know where you were, or what was happening with you. Shit, we didn't know if you'd been killed, or kidnapped. You scared the shit out of us."

"I'm sorry Blaire, I know how badly I treated you all. I'm not making excuses. It was all on me. It started at gigs, the guys all had drugs. I thought it was cool, I used the drugs to mask how I felt. Inside I was all messed up."

"Why?" Blaire asked. I felt Andi, squeezing my hand.

"Lots of things, but mostly it was about who I was. I couldn't admit that I was gay, and I loved, Roz."

"Shit, yah sure know how to make life hard for yourself. Why didn't yah just bang her... We all knew she was infatuated with you."

"Hey, I'm sitting right here." I said trying to lessen the unimaginable weight bearing down on us.

She smiled at me knowingly. "Don't try to deny it."

"I wanted to say sorry." Andi said in a barely audible whisper. "You were such a huge part of my life. We were more than friends, more than members of a band. We were family and I hurt you all with my craziness. I never intentionally set out to hurt you."

"We know that Andi, but shit girl, you fucked up."

"I know."

"What happens now?" Blaire asked.

"I don't know, I just had to get that out, to tell you that I still love you, and that I want to be friends. Maybe you can't forgive me, I'd understand if yah can't."

"Andi, we'll always be friends." Poppy replied. "We were hoping for more than that."

Poppy and Blaire exchanged glances. "'My Obsessive Crush'? Is their a chance?"

"Andi, and I want to give it a go." I said. "But, it depends on you girls though. Like what do you think?"

"What about, Kat?" Poppy, added quickly. "Lets not forget she's part of the band now."'

"Is she?" I asked. "We got her in to cover for Andi, now Andi's, back. We don't need two keyboard players."

"Shit girl, that's harsh. She gave up her job to join the band." Blaire grumbled. "Like it's not fair. You said you wouldn't kick her out if Andi, returned."

"I said that cos of her job. She went back to work, she lost nothing. 'My Obsessive Crush' was always just the four of us. Couldn't we go back to that?"

"Nah, no way." Poppy blurted out as she stood up. "Kat, became a part of it, she helped us, and she loved it and she's part of my life now."

"What the hell, Poppy. We don't need two keyboard players."

"Yeah well Andi's, up the duff, what happens when she has her baby?"

"Nothing happens. We wouldn't book any gigs for a while."

"If Kat, was there, Andi could relax. Be a, Mum. Kat, could fill in."

"That wouldn't be fair on her. All we would be doing is delaying kicking her out." I tried not to shout, but it was frustrating.

"Maybe, it won't work." Blaire said with an air of finality. "Andi, you owe Kat, an apology as well. Whatever the future holds. She didn't deserve to be assaulted on stage, publicly humiliated. You gotta say sorry to her for that."

Andi, nodded. "I plan to."

"Then why couldn't she come along tonight?"

"Cos we wanted to talk about 'My Obsessive Crush'. I replied. "We couldn't do that with her here."

"So you won't even consider her being part of the band?"

Andi surprised me, when she said. "I don't know if we could work together. We're different people, and I still think she treated Roz, badly."

"What... Are you still doing drugs?" Blaire snorted derisively. "Open your damn eyes girl. You're the one who screwed Roz, over. You knew when you slept with her that night it was gonna destroy her relationship with, Kat."

"I didn't do it maliciously. I needed to find out if how I felt was real. I needed to find out whether Roz, felt the same way. Kat, should have given Roz another chance, not thrown her away. You all saw how that hurt, Roz."

"That's some twisted shit right there girl." Blaire growled. "I understand wanting to find out all that stuff. I can see that, but I don't see that it's any of your business that Kat, wouldn't take Roz, back."

"The reason." Poppy spluttered." Was, Kat, never believed, Roz. She told me she always thought Roz, loved Andi, and wanted to be with her. She didn't wanna be Roz's, second choice. We all saw how Roz, felt about, Andi. Shit it was impossible to miss."

"Yeah, I agree." Blaire added. "Look at you both now. It's sweet that it's worked out. I'm happy for both of you. That wouldn't have happened if Kat, had taken you back, Roz."

I nodded, it was impossible to argue against. I felt like every day was a gift at the moment. Life couldn't be better. Maybe it was right, destiny, fate, karma... Who knows. I couldn't figure it out.

Poppy stared at Andi, her brows hooded, her mouth pursed. "You said you were gonna apologise to Kat. Was that true?"

"Yeah, I plan to do that."

"If she accepts your apology, could you work with her." She glanced at me, adding. "Lotsa bands have more than one keyboard player. It could be our thing, you could play that new thing you got. Move around, Kat, could focus on keys, not so much vocals."

Andi, grimaced, glanced at me. "I don't know Poppy. The question is, could she do it?"

"All the gears still out at the rehearsal room. Why don't we give it a try. I miss my band." Blaire said. "I miss hanging with you guys. If I'm gonna be an Aunt, I wanna be around."

"Yeah, you're having a baby. How does that feel?" Poppy asked. "Are you scared?"

"Yeah... Like crazy scared." She said quietly.

"You are?" I gasped.

She smiled, not her room thawing smile, more a thin nervous one. "Yeah babe. I'm scared that you'll leave me. One day you'll wake up, realise what a slut I was and you'll understand yah coulda done better. You're gonna hate me."

"No Andi, never. I might hate yah. Can't argue with that, but I love you and I'm never letting you go."

Instantly, we were in each others arms, and then it was like stacks on the mill. We were all on the floor hugging, laughing. "You know I'm preggers, right?" Andi, said giggling. "Like you're all crushing me."

"Shut up and deal with it." Poppy replied.

"How'd your parents take the news?" Blaire asked.

"They've been great. Mum treats Roz, like another daughter."

"Wow." Poppy gushed. "I'm still trying to build courage to tell mine."

"When they know, they'll be like, much happier with a lesbian than a slut." I joked.

"Who said I was a slut?" Poppy snapped back in mock anger.

"I did."

"Piss off, you're marrying the biggest slut of all." Poppy giggled. "Jesus, I'm thrilled for you both. I can't believe it. A baby... Wow."

We all rolled so we lay on our backs staring at the ceiling. Poppy's hand slid into mine, when I turned, I could see she had Andi's in her other, and Blaire and Andi, were also holding hands.

"Promise me, we'll always be sisters." Poppy called to us all.

"Sisters." We replied in unison.

We decided, on a jam at the rehearsal rooms. Because we weren't working, Andi and I arrived early and set everything up. She ran cables while I carried in the gear we had been using.