My Roommate's Toy Box Ch. 05

I love him. I'm fantasizing about us dating listening to him breathe, imagining us being a real couple. Obviously he isn't ready yet, probably nowhere close, but I feel like we've made real progress tonight. He promised to talk to me about his feelings from now on.

"You know you're sleeping here tonight, right?" Alex whispers, gently kissing my neck again.

"I'm too tired to move anyway," I joke. I don't want to be anywhere else.

He chuckles. "Not like I'd let you. Good night, Tyler."

"Night, Alex." I love him. How could I have possibly ended up here if I didn't? Feeling his warm breath against my skin, I know I love him.

***

I woke up in Alex's bed, reaching for him and realizing that he wasn't lying there next to me. I lifted my head off the pillow, my eyes briefly opening to confirm that he was missing. My phone was across the room, but I already knew it was way too early for my roommate to be in class. I sighed as my head sank back into the pillow, my eyes shutting again. I must have been sleeping so soundly that he'd managed to escape the room without drawing my attention. But why had he done that? I knew it couldn't be good. I thought we'd made progress talking last night, Alex promising to share his feelings, but maybe it was only fleeting. I imagined him sitting somewhere on campus with that dour expression fixed on his face, his mind awash in more uncomfortable questions after spending another night cuddled up beside me, after begging me not to let him go.

Knowing that he might be feeling that way, I definitely couldn't stay here in his bed. It felt wrong. I groggily forced myself up, trudging across the room and climbing into my own bed. I picked up my phone, noticing that he'd texted me.

/Hey roomie, don't worry about me,/ Alex had written an hour earlier. /I just needed some time to be alone and think about some stuff. I'll be back later./

He was definitely struggling, maybe feeling regretful again, but at least he'd reached out and explained himself instead of simply shutting down and disappearing. He seemed to be living up to his promise, and maybe that meant we'd made some progress after all. I wished we were sitting in the room across from each other talking the way he had last night, but I couldn't fault him for wanting to be alone. If this was ever going to be more than an endless cycle of extreme highs and lows, he needed to make his own breakthroughs and realize his own truths. If I really cared about him, I had to give him the time and space he needed to navigate his own feelings.

I went back to the room after each of my three classes that day, hoping to find Alex there waiting for me, but it was deserted every time. I checked my phone constantly, but he hadn't texted anything else either. I wondered where he was. In the lounge? In a library? What was he thinking about? What was going to happen when he finally came back?

I went for dinner at 6:00 PM, still not hearing anything from Alex. How much longer would he stay away?

***

Walking back into the room, I have to do a double take. Alex is lying naked in my bed, his arms wrapped around one of my pillows. I look at him uncertainly as I walk up. "Are you...drunk or something?" I ask, thinking that a perfect excuse for his long absence. Maybe he'd just crawled into the wrong bed.

Alex slides his perfect naked body over toward the wall, pushing the pillow away as he turns onto his side and rests his hand against his head. "I'm not drunk," he says, definitely sounding sober. "I just figured we could change things up." He pats the free space on the mattress, making it clear that he wants me there.

I want to jump right in, but knowing that he's been gone all day thinking things over, it certainly doesn't feel right. "Alex-"

"Come on, man," he gently interrupts. "Don't tell me we need to talk. I told you I wanted to be alone for awhile and I did it. If you want to talk, get over here."

I'm nervous after waking up without him in the morning, spending the whole day wondering where he was and what might be coursing through his mind. Knowing that he was waiting for me to come back in my bed, immediately inviting me to join him, definitely touches my heart. It seems sweet and I can't say no. I'm still wearing all of my clothes as I join him there, lying beside Alex without touching him.

"Want to be the little spoon?" he asks softly.

He's smiling as I look into his warm brown eyes, no trace of that dejected expression that I'd spent the whole day picturing. I turn onto my side without saying anything, starting to nestle myself against Alex, his hand wrapping around my chest and pulling me into his warm body. I hear him peacefully exhaling beside me, his breath against my neck, the two of us locked together for several minutes without saying a word. He's naked but I'm not, the cuddling not feeling sexual at all.

"You know, I definitely missed you," he breathes into my ear.

"You missed me?" I whisper. Maybe we really had made progress last night.

Alex chuckles, gently grinding his body into mine. "Yeah, it was really weird not seeing you all day. I kept wondering what you were doing."

Thinking about him, but I don't quite say that. "Me too."

"Well, go figure, I couldn't stop thinking about last night the whole time I was sitting in the library," he says. "I had a raging boner all day replaying everything in my head."

Hearing him turn things sexual, I feel disappointed. "Is that all you thought about?"

"No, but I definitely should have busted before I left."

I let the silence linger, hearing my roommate softly breathing behind me, his arms still wrapped around me.

"I kept thinking I wanted to come back, honestly," Alex volunteered without any prompting. "I felt...like, guilty hiding from you in the library. I just wanted to be back here with you."

I love him. I can't stop thinking it. Free Alex, bisexual Alex, totally unapologetic Alex, he tells me everything. He likes being with me as much as I like being with him. His tongue suddenly laps across my ear, his teeth gently nibbling on it. I don't know why, but it sets me on fire. No one has ever played with my ear like that. I feel my dick stiffening in my shorts, horniness trying to take over.

"You want to kiss a little?" Alex whispers when he draws his face back.

I turn my body around to face him and I see his eyes light up, that familiar grin there instead of the glum, doubting expression.

He laughs softly, running his hand through my hair. "Yeah, man, I know you do."

"Of course I do," I admit, loving my roommate's touch, desperate to feel his lips against mine. "But shouldn't we be talking things over right now?"

Alex's face turns solemn, more serious than I've ever seen it. "I like you, Tyler," he says. "That's what I was thinking about all day."

My heart surges. He's finally saying the words I've been so eager to hear. "You like me?" I feel like a teenager in high school talking to a boy I've had a crush on for years, desperate for affirmation.

"Why, is that weird?" he asks, laughing and running his hand through my hair again. "I mean, I guess it's been kind of obvious, but that didn't make it any easier to actually say."

"I like you too," I whisper.

"Yeah, I know you do. Can I kiss you now?"

We were definitely going to have to talk more about everything, but I nod my head. Alex presses his lips into mine, slowly and sensually kissing me. He's more tender than he's ever been, his breath obviously minty fresh. He planned to do this. We're kissing with our feelings freely expressed for the first time, and it's amazing. He pulls away, my eyes opening to find him staring into me.

"I've been wanting to do that all day," Alex says.

"Me too," I murmur, feeling so blissfully happy.

He clicks his tongue, his hand tugging at my shirt. "You're breaking the rules, you know."

"I thought the rule was that clothing is optional," I jokingly remind him.

"Was it?" he says playfully like he doesn't remember. "Maybe we should change that to no clothes in the room."

"What are you going to do if I say no?"

Alex smirks, all of his confidence seemingly renewed. "Rip them off of you anyway. You think you're strong enough to stop me?"