My Sweet Canadian Girl Ch. 02

"Oh Rick I'll miss you so much," she said wiping her tears away as we kissed again. "We should go," she said at last.

"No we should stay right here and never leave but I'll go for now," I said picking up my bags and following her out to the car.

During the drive to the resort we were silent. I didn't want to waste our last moments together on idle chatter and there was nothing important to say that wouldn't make her cry again. As we pulled into the lot I spotted my roommates near the front doors packing up the last of their things and told Cassie to pull in next to them. With a brave smile she got out of the car with me.

"You already met Greg but this is Tim and Miguel. Guys this is Cassie the girl I've been spending all my time with," I said. I could see they were both surprised as they looked over at Greg. No doubt he'd told them how beautiful she was but seeing her in person was entirely different.

"Nice to meet both of you," Cassie said holding out her hand and flashing her warm smile.

"Hello Cassie," Miguel said shaking her hand

"Nice to meet you too. I hope you treated him well these past few days," Tim said giving her a look that bordered on mistrust. Cassie noticed it too and looked at me with a smirk. My friend's were an awful lot like hers it seemed.

"Could you guys put my bags in for me?" I asked not wanting to waste any time.

"Sure," Miguel said taking them from me.

"Just a few minutes before we need to hit the road," Greg said giving me a helpless shrug.

"Alright thanks guys," I said leading Cassie away. "Well..." I said when we were out of earshot.

"This is it then," she said her eyes getting glassy again.

"Cassie I... I... oh Cassie..." I could bring myself to say it and she could see the pain in my face.

"Shhhh... it's ok Dickie," she said hugging me tightly. "You already told me everything I needed to hear."

"What should I do then?" I asked.

"How about kissing me?" she said pressing her lips to mine. Our kiss went on and on until the sound of Greg's car starting up interrupted us.

"Goodbye Cassie," I said leaning back in to kiss her one last time.

"This isn't a goodbye kiss," she said kissing me again. "This is see you soon," she whispered as our lips parted.

There was nothing left to say. Taking small steps back from her I ran my hand down her arm. Past her shoulder and I took another step. Past her elbow as she reached towards me I continued to back up. Past her wrist where she wore the bracelet I hoped would remind her of me everyday. Finally my hand slid across hers, down to the tips of her fingers until we parted and the cool morning air swept in like an invisible gulf between us that would only get bigger. At first I tried to hold my own tears in but Cassie wasn't shy about showing hers so I shared mine too hoping they'd help her see how much she meant to me. I stared back at her as I got in the car and didn't stop looking back at her until long after the tiny speck she'd become had vanished.

I missed her so much already. The guys were silent, unwilling to make fun of me for crying even. Each road sign we passed was like knife in my heart. From the city limits of Whistler to the ones that kept telling us Vancouver was getting closer. When we crossed the border back into Washington state I felt a fresh surge of despair at leaving my sweet Canadian girl behind. Soon after I fell asleep in the back seat. The guys stopped for something to eat hours later and woke me up but I said I wasn't hungry and went right back to sleep.

The moment we got home I rushed inside to call Cassie ignoring the messages that were waiting for us. The sound of her charming voice was medicine for my broken heart. She was crying on the other end and I had a bad feeling she might have spent the day in tears. An hour of talking to her passed in what seemed like moments and reluctantly I said I should go so the guys could check the messages from this past week.

Cassie and her friends had driven back to their apartment in Vancouver that afternoon so she had access to her computer. I sent her an e-mail right away and we ended up spending all night chatting on instant messenger. The guys were too lazy to cook after the long drive and had ordered pizza. Tim came up to see me in my room with a plateful of pizza that I gratefully accepted as I sat at my computer.

"Still talking to Cassie?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said looking up from the screen then back down quickly as her latest message came through.

"You love her don't you?" he asked looking at me with a grin of disbelief.

"Yes I do," I said. Why was it so easy to say it now? "I should have told her that before I left. I can't do it now. Not for the first time through some stupid instant message."

"I couldn't believe how beautiful she was," Tim said sitting on my bed.

"I know," I said grinning at him. "I still don't know how I ever got her to spend the whole week with me."

"Well it's easy to fall for a girl who looks that good," he said. "This will be a real test."

"She's even more beautiful on the inside Tim," I told him. "I know that sounds cheesy but it's true. I've never met someone so sweet and thoughtful."

"Well if you still feel like that in a few months then you'll know what you have to do," he said. "I'll drive you back up there myself if you still love her."

"I'll always love her," I said.

For the next few months I spent all day at school in the library studying between checking my e-mail for a message from her. My nights were spent chatting with her online. When I unpacked I found the live Hip CD she'd slipped in with my things and I listened to it every night as I talked to her. I didn't go to parties and I stayed in my room when the guys threw one. One night I came down to get a drink when the guys had a decent sized party going. A wasted girl cornered me in the kitchen looking to dance and a whole lot more. I told her I had a girlfriend in Canada and she laughed saying she'd never find out if she was that far away. The thought of cheating on Cassie made me sick and I blew up in anger telling her she'd never talk like that if she knew Cassie. Greg heard the commotion and settled everything down before I kicked her out of the house. Back upstairs I called Cassie and told her what had happened feeling guilty anyway. She laughed telling me that she didn't worry about me cheating on her and never would.

The e-mail and instant messages were good but the phone calls a few times a week were what I really looked forward to. Hearing her voice always made me smile. She was so charming that within a few weeks of me returning home the other guys couldn't help but talk to her briefly when she called before handing me the phone. If I called her and Lei or Jana picked up they always told me how Cassie was really doing that day and let me know if they caught her crying again. I cried once in while when I was alone in my room too. It hurt being away from her and knowing she was having such a hard time herself.

Over time our e-mails to each other became a little shorter but not less frequent. We chatted every night on instant messenger no matter how busy we were we always found time to spend with each other online. She sent me pictures of her in new outfits asking what I though of them and of course my answer was always the same, she made the clothes look beautiful. I cherished the pictures but it was the one of us in my wallet that I stared at day after day remembering how easy it was to smile when I was with her.

Despite being apart from my dream girl, time seemed to fly by. Before I knew it final exams were upon us and soon I'd be free to go be with Cassie for as long as I wanted. My birthday on May 20th fell right in the middle of exams every year and depending on her own exam schedule Cassie was going to try coming down for a visit. I was so excited but she told me in a brief e-mail soon after that she had exams the day before and after my birthday. After getting myself worked up it was hard to hear that but I'd see her in a few weeks no matter what happened now.

When finals started Cassie abruptly stopped calling me, to focus on her studying I told myself but when I called her she sounded distant and I began fearing that something was wrong though I was too scared to voice my concerns. Then she didn't log onto instant messenger one night and the next night she said she had to go as soon as I logged on. The following night she stayed and talked to me for a while but she didn't show much of a response when I made fun of her Canadian spelling of words like "colour" that had become a running joke with us.

I knew something was wrong but I was too terrified to start asking questions. It was hard to picture her leaving me so suddenly but I knew she didn't like to hurt people she was close to and started to fear this was her way of slowly letting me down. Cassie and her ex-boyfriend, the guy she was dating when she had her snowboarding accident, had been very close and I wondered if maybe he'd come back. He was beyond stupid to leave her in the first place so it was easy to imagine him suddenly coming to his senses and stealing her away from me. Tim came to ask me how I was doing one night and I confided in him. He told me I was worrying about nothing and she was just busy with exams. I wanted to believe it was true but my mind was starting to run wildly in all directions.

My birthday was only a few days away now. The way my schedule worked out my last exam was the afternoon of my birthday and I'd be free to celebrate. Too bad my dreams of having Cassie here with me were gone and it felt like we were rapidly drifting apart. I was in a daze as I wrote my last exam. Nothing could get the dire thoughts of losing Cassie out of my mind now that I was finally free to be with her. On the way home I picked up two cases of beer to drown my sorrows. The guys still had exams and were studying when I got home. When I least wanted to be alone, all of sudden the same guys who once stayed up all night at a party the day before a final became model students. Hoping against hope, I asked if Cassie had called for me today and though I could tell they wanted to say yes the answer was no.

Going upstairs to my bedroom alone, I turned on my computer to see if she was online or had at least sent me an e-mail today. As if to taunt me, the Hip CD she'd given me was playing as I checked my empty inbox. I didn't even remember putting it on but I left it running on repeat sometimes and I listed to it so often that the guys were into them now too. One of them might have put it on while using my computer to check their email or whatever. Fuck it I was going to call her place and find out if it was over between us. It rang four times before someone picked up.

"Hey Jana it's Rick. Is Cassie around? You haven't seen her all day? She's been acting strange lately. There isn't anything happening I should know about is there? No I'm not saying that. I didn't accuse her of cheating on me! Fuck don't tell her that. I'm just worried and wanted to talk to her. What? I didn't even know she had a new cell phone. Yeah wait let me get something to write it down with. Okay go. Thanks Jana," I said hanging up.

I must have dialed up to the last number and hung up a dozen times. I needed to talk to her but I was terrified that someone else might answer the phone and tell me to move on with my life. Well fuck them and their imaginary attitude because Cassie was my life. If she was planning to let me go then I was going to plead my case one last time. With a final deep breath I started dialing her number willing to face the truth at last no matter how bad it might be.

***

Thanks for reading so far. Just a quick note to add about The Tragically Hip concert. This story was written in 2006, long before the illness and passing of lead singer Gord Downie. They really are one of my favorite bands, Canadian or otherwise. I highly recommend The Hip to anyone. Their concert album 'Live Between Us' is a musical masterpiece.

The original title for the story was going to be My Hip Canadian Girl, but the way the story developed sweet was a much better way to describe Cassie and the concert didn't show up until chapter two.