My Wife in Another Woman's Arms

My mother was less critical. It turns out Sophie told her the real reason we broke up. So mum was not so down on me. She understood, what surprised me was how she stood up for Sophie. I guess she really did love her. She tried to get us together, tried to get us to go to counselling. I couldn't see the sense.

I missed her, but I had my principles. I also had a cold bed at night, but my principles kept me warm... Yeah, fuck that... Let me tell you. Principles don't keep you warm. Not once the anger fades.

The flat I found was way cheaper than ours, as there were four guys living there already. Turns out, they were in a band. It was noisy as fuck, but I loved watching them rehearse. They were pretty cool. Mostly they played covers, top forty stuff. When Aaron, saw me playing guitar and singing out on the back veranda one day. He was impressed and asked if I wanted to jam with them sometimes.

"Did I... Fuck yeah." I had always wanted to play in a band.

Rehearsals were fun, the guys invited me into the band. At first I was just mucking about. Not really part of the band, but. They liked my songs, some of them at least. As we played them. Dale the keyboardist, picked them apart, and we grew them into really choice songs.

That's when I got the invitation to become a full member of the band. I got to play at a couple of their gigs, which went really well. Carl, the original guitar player loved having a second guitarist. It allowed him the freedom to concentrate on lead and soloing.

Mort, the singer and I worked well, he enjoyed having me sing with him, sharing vocals, and then harmonies. It took me a while to get the hang of harmonies. It was Dale, who explained it. Showing me on the keyboard, how a vocal harmony worked. Going the extra fifth higher, or lower...

It was a difficult time in my life. I missed Sophie, I mean I really missed her. She left a huge hole in my life, when I saw her, my stomach churned, and tied itself in a knot from hell.

The problem is, we saw a lot of each other. We shared the same group of friends. Every party I went to, she would be there as well. Some of our closer friends tried to match make. Having little party's with the express function of pushing Sophie, and I back together.

She was all for it, and never shied away from walking up and giving me hugs and kisses. She tried to get me to go back, she wanted us to try again. She was open about her intentions, and worked hard to get our friends to try and help. She hated that we were estranged as she called it. She never once said the word split up, broken up or separated. For her it was nothing more than a little interruption.

In her mind, we were a young couple in a crisis, trying to find their way. That changed a little as the days turned into weeks, the weeks into months.

Her frustration at my coldness, grew into outright anger. Exasperated by my refusal to go to counselling with her. She went ahead and started her own sessions. She tried to educate me, encouraging me to go with her. She felt she was learning, and growing. She pleaded with me to go. The counsellor had made suggestions about how we could deal with her bisexuality.

I could think of nothing worse. Laying bare all our problems, picking apart every word, every action. That must be so humiliating... Or so I thought.

I guess, she got to a point where she accepted we weren't getting back together.

It all fell apart the night of Paul and Rhonda's engagement party. They were close friends of Sophie, and I. Yeah, I knew Sophie, would probably be there, but she had stopped trying to weld us back together.

Anyway, when I arrived, Sophie, wasn't there. I gave Rhonda, her gift and melded into a group of friends, had a few drinks, a few laughs. Then I saw Sophie, arrive, with Ember, the skanky slut on her arm. I watched as she introduced Ember, around, what surprised me was how many of the group already knew Ember, which meant. Her and Sophie had moved into a relationship, maybe even living together.

It hurt, like a punch to the gut, or a knife sliding up under your rib cage might feel. I watched as all our friends accepted Ember. They talked and joked with her like they were friends...

I tried to ignore it, finding friends to talk to, then if Sophie, came towards us, I moved on to another. She finally trapped me at the bar. She leaned in for a friendly kiss on the cheek. "Hello Prentiss. How have you been?"

It was warm and friendly as she always was. I felt besmirched, she'd brought that slut along...

"Fine." I snapped back curtly.

She frowned at my curtness. "Is everything all right?"

"Why did you bring that skanky slut here?" I hissed venomously.

"Prentiss, Ember is my partner. You can't begrudge me a relationship if you don't want one with me."

"Why bring her here, you must have known I'd be here."

"Because, she's my partner. I was hoping you might put away all the silly anger and animosity."

"Nah, not happening."

Just then Ember, walked over. She leaned in and kissed Sophie. "Hey gorgeous." She whispered playfully, which made Sophie, blush. Fucking bitch was marking her territory, showing everybody in the room. Sophie was now hers.

She turned to me. "Hey Prentiss isn't it." She stuck out her hand as if to shake, which I ignored. "I figured we should get to know each other. We're probably going to bump into each other a fair bit."

Ignoring her attempts at friendliness, I snarled loudly. "Fuck off you skanky cheating slut. You got what you fucking wanted, now you can fuck off. I think you are a disgusting excuse for a life form. You're so low you could walk under a snake."

She looked totally stunned, mortified. She looked around the room and everybody had stopped talking and were now staring at us. Sophie, rasped indignantly. "Prentiss, stop it. You've no right to talk to her like that."

Any pretence at keeping it quiet had vanished. "Like fuck." I barked brutally. "She carried on a fucking affair with you for months before I found out. It was her intent the whole fucking time to destroy our marriage. She's a cheating fucking slut. A despicable fucking excuse for a human being."

Ember, who had started crying after my first rant, ran out sobbing.

"You cruel bastard." Sophie spat at me before rushing after her.

They had been gone ten minutes or so before Rhonda, walked over and embraced me. "Hey, it's going to be okay."

"No, it's broken now."

"What happened, Prentiss. What you said before, is that true?"

"Yeah, Sophie and Ember, were having an affair for months before I found out. That Ember, is a disgusting cheating bitch. She wanted Sophie, and destroyed our marriage to get her."

"Wow, I would never have thought Sophie, would do something like that. It's pretty hurtful."

"Surprised me as well. I only found out when I busted them together. Then she confessed the whole sordid thing. She'd been fucking Ember, for months."

"God, no wonder you didn't want to get back together. I'm sorry we pressured you so much."

"Nah, it's okay. I get it. I didn't want to say anything, because I didn't want to change the way people saw her."

"That was kind, but why today? Why blow it all up?"

"Because she paraded that fucking slut in my face, in front of our friends. I heard her telling you how Ember was her new girlfriend... It's a lie. They haven't just met. She's the reason we're no longer together. She wrecked our marriage, and she did it knowingly. In my books, she's the lowest of the low."

My friends gathered around, overhearing much of what I said. They were all supportive, some of the blokes were really angry with Sophie. I could see, it was going to change the way they saw her.

A few days later I got a very angry call from Sophie. There was no introduction, no greeting. She sailed into me like a raging tempest.

"You cruel heartless bastard. Why did you tell all our friends about our break up? Now they all hate me., good god. The names some of them called me, and now they won't have anything to do with Ember."

"If you'd been honest with them from the start. Like you shoulda been with me. It wouldn't have come as a shock to them. You've been making me out as the bad guy. Pretending that you met Ember, after we split. She's the fucking reason we are split. I kept your secret. I didn't want to destroy your friendships. But you went to far."

"I hate you Prentiss, I've seen a whole new side of you now. I don't like what I see, you have a very nasty hurtful side of your personality. What you said at that party was just malicious. Poor Ember, was mortified, and humiliated."

"That's your fault. If you'd been honest. That shit wouldn't have happened."

"No, you were evil, you did it intentionally to hurt her, and me."

"No, I just reacted... I didn't intend to say anything. All that false bullshit. Pretending to be friendly after destroying my marriage was a step to far. If she'd stayed out of my face. None of that would have happened. I kept your secret Sophie. You just couldn't leave it alone. You had to rub it in my face publicly."

"I did no such thing." She gasped insulted. "We weren't trying to humiliate you. I simply thought her and I are a couple now. We would bump into each other. I thought it would have been better if we could have remained friends?"

"All you had to do was tell the truth Sophie. You've been telling anybody who'd listen that it's all my fault. You were trying, and wanted to get back together, that I was the roadblock. That hurt, all you had to do was be honest."

"There was simply no reason for you to carry on the way you did. You single handedly and maliciously wrecked some very good friendships for me."

"No Sophie, think about it. You wrecked them yourself. People don't like cheaters." I disconnected the call feeling wonderful, like I had finally made my point.

I felt elated. I finally had closure...

The band was doing well, we got regular gigs, and we were building a nice following. As word got around, my mates started turning up at gigs, which was cool. Even if I did get ragged on harshly. That in turn led to invitations to other gigs.

One was a wedding. The guys in the band laughed when I told them. They never saw themselves as a wedding band.

"So long as they know what we play, and what to expect?" Carl said.

"They've been to our gigs a few times. They know, it's what they wanted."

"Choice, then lets fucking rock them into wedded bliss."

I wondered whether Sophie, would go, or whether she had even been invited. A lot of our friends cut her out. They didn't like what she did. Of course it worked the other way as well. Some of her female friends gathered around her, and it was I who was cut.

I don't know what Sophie, said to them, whether she was honest, and they accepted it. Or whether she lied, and painted me as the bad guy.

I didn't really care, I figured if they cut me from their lives so easily. They weren't my friends to begin with.

Anyway, here we were, at the reception. We started early, and the dance floor was packed. People dancing and bouncing around, as they did at our gigs. The one thing we were never accused of was being subtle.

I glanced into the crowd, so many of them I knew. It was a mixture of Sophie, and my friends, plus assorted friends and family. Many of whom I didn't know. It was a decent crowd, about three hundred guests.

Sophie, was there, hiding at the back, but she was there, dancing with Ember. They seemed to be enjoying themselves. Lost in the music, and each other.

I did see her glancing up at me on stage, but with my sunnies on. She didn't know. I took great pride in the fact, that the original songs were all mine. At our first break, we were mingling with the crowd, enjoying a few beers. I was surprised when Sophie, emerged from the group of friends.

"Hi, Prentiss."

"Hey."

"Those songs, they're so beautiful."

"Thanks."

She leaned in quickly and kissed me. "You are an enigma. You wrote those beautiful heart felt songs. That must come from your heart. Yet you are filled with all that hate and anger. I'm sorry I hurt you, caused all that."

She gave me a sad pouty grimace. "I wanted to apologise. You're right. I should have talked to you. Given you a heads up that Ember, was going with me that night, and I shouldn't have laid all the blame on you for our estrangement."

"Sophie, it's in the past. You have a new life now. Focus on that, try to make it work. Don't cheat on her."

"My life will never be complete Prentiss. Not without you. Yes, I love Ember, but I miss you every single day. I hate myself for hurting you and destroying the love we had. I still have that love. It's squashed by guilt and self loathing for the way I treated you, but I do love you, and I wish you all the love in the world."

Her eyes filled with tears, she rushed off towards the seats at the back. I saw Ember, stand up, and they crashed into each other. Their faces mashed together, their arms around each other.

"Fuck."

After that, the band sort of took off, we were swamped with gigs. It was getting difficult to work and play. I made a life changing decision. I committed to the band, and we started spreading out wings. With every stretch, it led to new gigs. Nelson, Blenheim, Wellington, Christchurch.

It was all going so well, we decided on a small tour. We started at home with a big gig at the Rutherford, then a night is Picton, then Blenheim, before heading down the East coast, two gigs in Kaikoura, then four gigs around Christchurch. Timaru, a couple in Dunedin, then two more in Invercargill.

The keyboard player Dale, and I formed a really close friendship. He was clever and insightful and awesome to write music with.

Entering the band. I only knew how to play guitar, and even that was self taught. Dale, was a serious musician, he understood all the intricacy's of theory. He could read and write properly. And writing on the piano opened up seriously different concepts for me. We spent hours together, him with his little breath powered keyboard, me with the guitar. He unlocked melody's that I hadn't considered, and I provided lyrics, which he wasn't so good with.

When we started the tour, we were natural room-mates. He was funny and had these cutting remarks, and insightful understandings.

We enjoyed each others company.

One night after an awesome gig, we finally crashed in our room at about two AM. Who can sleep after a gig, not me that's for sure. The room was small, with two single beds. After going to bed, we had a few laughs, and talked about the show we'd just finished.

It was our usual after gig conversation, but then maybe it was the sweet herb we'd smoked, or the alcohol, but he asked. "What really happened between you and Sophie. She's clearly Bi."

I told him the whole story, and he took a thoughtful moment before replying. "You split just because she wanted a little girl on girl action? Fuck bro, that seems harsh."

"What, you mean you would have put up with it?"

"Yeah... Fuck yeah. What harm could there be in that right? So she goes off occasionally to get her vag cleaned by a cutie... Fuck, how does that harm you? Oh and by the way dude. She's a pretty righteous chick. If she wasn't your ex, I'd be chasing her."

"Fuck you... Jesus you can be a dick sometimes."

"Nah bro. I'm serious. Think of it this way. You meet her, and she's a vego, hard core, no meat what soever. But, you love her, and want to be with her. You decide to give up meat as well, and for a while it's all cool. But... then after a while all those cravings come back, you smell those delicious smells and one day you cave and sneak a burger from Macca's. You love it and sneak one occasionally just to quell those urges. Does that destroy your relationship?"

Weirdly, his words made me uncomfortable... "Fuck, when did you become so deep?"

"Hey dude, it's two in the fucking morning. Everybody's deep at this time of the night."

"I get what you're saying, but the relationship would be based on a lie."

"Yeah, that's true. So, what if you come clean to her, and tell her you want the occasional bit of meat? You're not asking her to eat it, cook it, or even watch you eat it. She understands and says so long as you do it out of sight, away from home. She's sweet with it?"

"Fuck you, Dale..."

"Why, what'd I do?"

"You made sense that's what... Shit, now I feel like a dick because I still love her. I miss her like fucking crazy."

"Yeah, that I get. If she was my chick, I would never have walked away. I don't mean because she's pretty, which she is in an innocent girl next door way. It's who she is. She fucking awesome dude. I mean she's a choice bird, easy to talk to, gets guy humour, doesn't freak out when you aren't home on time, and she doesn't nag..."

"I know, she's pretty special, but I fucked it up. I can't go back, not after sprouting all that macho shit. Christ some of the names I called her... She'd never take me back."

"Bull fucking shit bro. I've talked to her at a couple of gigs, she loves you. As crazy as that sounds, she loves you. I don't understand it. I think you're an ugly son of a bitch, but hey. Beauty is in the eyer of the beholder right? If she can find something about your ugly mug to love, then more power to her."

The tour was really something. There were always women hanging around the band. We weren't famous, weren't a big name, but on any given night. We had a small group of female fans. At first, I just laughed it of, but it was hard to say no to attractive women looking for sex. I'm no monk, and it became somewhat of a thing with me.

It's a bit of an ego boost having women chasing you. Plus, they knew we were leaving. It was nice to have a hot sexy body in bed. The frantic fiery sex was good, but the intimacy was great. Going to sleep with a woman on your arm. I loved that.

By the time we got back to Nelson, we were on a roll. All the guys were into it, but we had a decision to make. We couldn't make a living out of being in the band. We either had to grow, or it had to become just a hobby. We needed to push up into the North Island, and try to make the most of our developing reputation.

It was hard to make being a full time musician pay. We were all sharing living expenses living in the one house. Lived as cheaply as we could, but it was hard. When we toured we got meals and drinks, but back home it was hard to get more than three gigs a week, That was hardly making us rich. Shit, it was barely keeping us afloat.

What we needed more than anything was recorded material. We had a social media profile, there were some clips posted of us performing. But there was nothing of any real substance. We needed that avenue of generating money. It was just so expensive. Even a modest amateur studio was looking for between fifteen to twenty grand. That was for something like a demo quality album, of approx six to ten tracks.

None of the guys had the money, I had about ten grand, but was reticent to throw it in.

Unfortunately, the tensions started to show. Small arguments about what to do, kept growing. Cracks became huge rifts, and slowly our little band of friends started dissolving. What started with such a huge rush of positive emotions was sliding noisily down the gurgler.

It happened so quickly, one minute we were trading jibes, the next minute, there were punches flying, and people screaming. It was over, our dreams, our hopes just evaporated.

I moved out, and had to find a job quick smart. I didn't fancy the hardware store again. I wanted to try something new, something that if not exciting, was at least interesting. With not a lot of options, I got a job at the Star and Garter, a pub in Richmond. I had to laugh, I wanted interesting. Well, shit I got that in bucket loads.